Wild Is The Wind
by GoldSovereign
Summary: JR/SE in an AU from the 'Dallas' episode 'Wedding Bell Blues'. Updated April 18, 2013.
1. Chapter 1

_First Published:_ June 19, 2006

"_Dallas" and its characters belong to Warner Bros._

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Wild Is The Wind, Part 1

_Give me more than one caress  
Satisfy this hungriness  
Let the wind blow through your heart  
And wild is the wind_

A low roll of thunder echoed across the Southfork pastures, threatening a storm, enhancing the touch of melancholy Sue Ellen was experiencing. She stood alone in what was once her bedroom at Southfork, unintentionally abandoned by the ladies attending Cally who were now accompanying the bride to the ceremony downstairs. So much like those days sixteen years ago … seven years ago … when it had been her turn to walk down the aisle to J.R.

Sue Ellen quickly banished the thought, wanting no recollection of those days, nothing that would remind her of her life with J.R. Yet from where she stood, banishing memories was impossible. She was surrounded by them.

Taking one last lingering look around her old room, she wandered out into the hall that led to the other bedrooms … to the bedroom across the hall. His bedroom. So many emotions suddenly twisted inside of her, surprising her at how strong they still were. She was supposed to be free of J.R. What the hell was she doing outside his bedroom on the day of his wedding to another woman?

Perhaps coercing an invitation out of his bride had been too much. She thought herself so brave, so clever for wanting to attend the wedding. The scathing confrontation with her ex-husband when she arrived had been deliciously devious, making her feel like there was nowhere else she would rather be. Plus giving Cally the bracelet J.R. had once bestowed on her seemed fitting. It had been his first present of many and she had always cherished the bracelet. Now it was Cally's. Sue Ellen sighed. Perhaps that had also been a bit much.

Giving away the bracelet was supposed to be just another step in exorcising J.R. out of her life completely. Sue Ellen wanted no lingering tokens from him. Yet why did she suddenly feel so hollow? She was proving she could play his game just as well as he could. But standing in the empty hall with the wedding ceremony about to start, the victory didn't seem as sweet as she imagined it would. Probably because his new bride had been the innocent pawn that advanced the wicked game of revenge.

Yes, she has used Cally. J.R. was marrying her because Sue Ellen had coaxed the naïve girl into faking a pregnancy. The plan worked just as expected and J.R. fell for it even though Sue Ellen knew he wasn't serious about her. Cally was like so many others … just another pretty thing he craved until he captured her. But the news of her pregnancy had changed his mind, just as Sue Ellen knew it would. After so many years together, J.R. had become so predictable. What was that old saying … familiarity breeds contempt? Contempt seemed a fitting definition for their marriages. Contempt also refocused her resolve.

It was too late to regret any decision she had made. What was done was done. Besides, it would be better for Cally to learn now how cruel marriage to J.R. could be instead of lingering in the quiet, inebriated pain she had endured for so many years. So much for the joys of being a trophy wife. Wherever Patricia Shepard was at that moment, Sue Ellen hoped her mother would fry in hell for the way she had raised her two daughters.

The sudden viciousness of that thought made Sue Ellen pause, astounded by the bitterness welling up inside her. Did she really wish harm on her mother? Or Cally? Was she so consumed with revenge on J.R. that it was changing her into someone she didn't like? Was it making her too much like him?

That notion was terrifying.

She had accomplished so much the past few years. She had used her brains to generate her own fortune. She was in complete control of her own life now. Yes … she was in control and no longer needed approval from her mother or J.R. or anyone else. Maybe it was time to drop the vendetta against him and finally release the ghosts of the past once and for all.

She looked over at his door. What better place to start than where it had all started.

Checking the hallway, making sure she was alone, Sue Ellen went to the door and turned the handle, knowing it wouldn't be locked. It silently opened, beckoning her inside. After a few steps, she stopped to absorb the atmosphere, overwhelmed by it even now. She had been the one to redecorate the room after the fire at Southfork, knew every inch of it so well. Yet it still had an aura of its own … so masculine and dominating, just like the occupant.

Her gaze fell on the bed and a bittersweet feeling cascaded through her. It was a combination of passion and pain, echoing ecstatic memories when she was the center of his attention and the tortured loneliness she had endured while he was out with his whores. Never again would she share his bed … she was sure of that. Nothing J.R. could do or say would soften what a lying, cheating, murderous bastard he had become. But as much as she despised him now, she couldn't deny what an exceptional lover he had been. She had first experienced what passion truly was in this room with him. It was where John Ross was conceived. A faint trace of a smile curved her lips at the thought of her son. He was the one truly beautiful thing that had come from her marriage to J.R.

Needing to distance herself from the bed, Sue Ellen walked further into the room, looking everywhere as if to commit the rest to memory. Not that she would ever forget. On the dresser, a small collection of his ties formed a muted display of color that caught her attention. In a strange way, it pleased her to see he still retained some she had bought for him.

Sitting her purse down, she picked up one of the sleek strips, allowing it to slide through her fingers one last time. The symbolic irony was too delicious to resist. Her ties to J.R. were nearly severed and it felt wonderful. Just like the fabric. The silky texture generated a delicate friction between her fingers, taking her back in time, reminding her of when she would slip his ties off him at the end of the day. During those rare moments when business no longer mattered. Moments when he was hers completely.

Another clap of thunder sounded, much closer than the previous one, jolting her out of the memory. A tingle of unexplained anticipation swelled inside of her. It felt electric … dangerous … as if he were there with her.

A blue shadow slowly formed in the mirror image behind her. When she refocused on the glass, her gaze locked with the blue eyes she knew so well and a cold chill ran through her, prickling her skin.

He was there. She had been caught.


	2. Chapter 2

Wild Is The Wind, Part 2

J.R. had forgotten something. It was the reason he had hurried back to his room before the ceremony started. Only now he couldn't remember what it was. Seeing Sue Ellen there in the bedroom they once shared, nothing else mattered.

She was so deep in thought he was able to silently watch her from the door, entranced by the way she was handling his tie with her long, expressive fingers seductively twisting the fabric. It was one of the things he had always loved about her, the way she lovingly stroked anything she cared about. How many times had she touched him that way? His arm … the hair on the back of his neck … his ties. Always his ties. No other woman could so completely captivate him with just a touch.

An errant impulse hit him, stole his breath … he craved her hands on him now. It was an impossible wish but he cautiously moved into the room towards her. He needed to know for sure, needed to know what she was thinking, needed to know why she was there.

When their eyes locked in the mirror, it startled Sue Ellen and she dropped the tie as if it burned her fingers. Yet she didn't move, didn't run, didn't say a word. Paralyzed, her mind went blank, leaving her completely defenseless. What would he do? What would he say? Whatever it was, she was sure it would be vicious. Yet he simply held her gaze through the mirror, his expression showing no signs of anger or sarcasm.

J.R. expected a scathing comment like they had exchanged earlier outside but her eyes said something different. They telegraphed the emotions she was experiencing to him, through him, synchronizing their feelings and allowing him to sense the finality of the moment. It was the last time she would be in his bedroom. The place where she belonged.

He had never shared the intimate familiarity of marriage with anyone else. He had never wanted to. If it wasn't for the baby Cally was carrying, he sure as hell wouldn't be marrying the girl today. No. His wife was the lady in front of him.

Sue Ellen saw the flicker of uncertainty cross his face and in a strange way it soothed her. She knew he wasn't going to attack. She also knew he understood.

J.R. sensed the tension drain from her even as their eyes remained locked. She wasn't going to run. She wasn't going to fight. He used the opportunity to take in the vision they made in the glass. He had always known they were a striking couple. Her beauty was the main reason. She made him look so good. There was nothing like entering a room with her on his arm, receiving second even third looks from envious bystanders. Yes, they were a beautiful combination. John Ross was the perfect example of that.

The quicksilver blue of his eyes was sharpened by an intensity she had never seen before, revealing all he knew about her, everything he desired about her. It touched Sue Ellen in a primal way, drawing her in despite her hatred and fear. It made her feel … beautiful … admired. How was that possible?

Another loud crack of thunder rang out followed by a gust of wind that sent a vibration through the house, through both of them, making the atmosphere between them as electric as the storm blowing outside. J.R. needed to know the way she felt against him one last time. But it was so much more than that. He needed the woman before him in a way he had no explanation for, just as he always had. Now it was too late. Nothing he could ever do or say would win her back. All he could do was surrender to her for this final, brief moment, which he did completely.

He needed to say goodbye.

Sue Ellen watched as he slowly approached from behind, resented the wild beat of her heart. Her mind was telling her to run, get as far away from him as possible. Yet her eyes couldn't release his in the mirror. Nothing else existed … he was all she could see.

He was standing behind her, so close the warmth of his body radiated past the cloth of her dress, sending a current of raw energy over her skin, though her body. It was wrong. How could she stand having him so close? He had been so vile the past year. But she sensed something different in him, actually allowed him to gently place his hands on her hips and pull her back against him.

It was surreal, the way the man in the mirror was holding her, looking at her in a way that robbed the strength from her legs.

She watched transfixed as he slowly rested his chin against her head, taking in the scent and the soft, silky texture of her hair as he had always loved to do. She relaxed against him, almost unwillingly, and her head softly fell back against his shoulder.

She was still so tempting. J.R. knew he should release her and walk away. But he couldn't. There was so much he wanted to say to her. If only he could trust her enough to let it out. If only he knew how. Instead, he tipped his head just enough to place a gentle kiss near the corner of her eye. It was all he had left to give her.

It was a surprisingly sweet kiss, one that was gracious and apologetic, one that said _I love you_ and _goodbye_. The cold hatred she had built up against him during the past year collapsed. She stood emotionally naked before him.

A soft voice called out through the mist of the emotions they were wrapped in, shredding the tenuous thread holding them together.

"J.R.?" Came the distant voice of Miss Ellie, calling out to her oldest son. "J.R., where are you?"

Reality finally crashed down on them like a tidal wave, swamping J.R. and Sue Ellen even as it shattered the moment they had been clinging to. The moment both knew would never happen again.

"Oh my God," Sue Ellen tearfully whispered as she broke away from both his gaze and embrace.

"Darlin'," J.R. softly beckoned as he reached out for her.

"No!" She cried out as she avoided his grasp.

Her steps began to fall faster as she headed towards the door, away from him forever. Finally free, she ran out just as Miss Ellie approached.

J.R. knew it was hopeless to follow Sue Ellen. There was nothing more that could be done. The lady was gone from his life for good and he had pushed her every step of the way.

Ignoring his mother's presence, J.R. walked to the bar to pour himself a drink. He would need several to get through the next few hours.

"J.R., there is no time for that," Miss Ellie sternly said. "A tornado warning has been issued for Braddock Country. Everyone is moving into the storm cellar in the basement. We've got to hurry!"

She might as well have slapped him. J.R. quickly turned to his mother, trying to comprehend all she had said.

"A tornado? Where is John Ross?" He asked even as he hurried to her side. They both headed out into the hall towards the stairs.

"Clayton took him and Christopher to the basement."

J.R. took hold of Miss Ellie's arm, lending his strength to help hurry her along then support her as they ran down the staircase. Bobby met them at the bottom and took Ellie's other arm.

"Is everyone inside?" Ellie asked Bobby.

"Everyone is in the basement, Mamma." Then he looked over at J.R., his face etched with worry. "Except Sue Ellen. She just ran out the front door. I wasn't close enough to stop her."

There was no time to weigh the consequences. J.R. released his mother's arm and turned to the front door.

"Look after John Ross and Mamma, Bobby, you hear?" J.R. called out over his shoulder.

Bobby sensed his brother's intentions and his first impulse was to physically pull J.R. back. At least tell him it was suicide to go out the door. But Bobby also knew he would be joining J.R. if Miss Ellie wasn't standing at his side.

"I will." Bobby shouted back even as he guided his mother to the basement. The storm howling outside was making normal conversation difficult.

J.R. was gone before Ellie could react. "No, Bobby! Go after him! Bring him back!"

"Mamma, J.R. is Sue Ellen's only chance now! Besides, he knows what to do. Daddy drummed into all of us." Bobby hoped the reassurance would calm his mother even as he carefully guided her down to the basement. "Let's just pray they have time to find shelter."

With that, Bobby slammed the basement door behind him and bolted it.


	3. Chapter 3

Wild Is The Wind, Part 3

Consciousness slowly returned, waking Sue Ellen in small doses, finally allowing her senses to return. She noticed the sound of her own breathing first. Then she could feel the cold concrete beneath her hands. Her stomach hurt. She was lying face down. She tried to move but her muscles rebelled with a dull ache filled with the sensation of a thousand stinging needles. She stopped fighting. Maybe she could just lie there for a little while longer. Wherever it was.

She became aware enough to open her eyes, trying to make sense of what had happened, hoping to see where it was she was lying. It did no good. Darkness surrounded her but soon vivid mental images returned including the horrible noise that still rang in her ears. The tornado. The storm cellar. They had survived.

"J.R.?" She weakly called our then coughed violently. Her mouth and lungs were still full of the heavy dust from the storm. "J.R., where are you?"

"I'm over here, honey," came a frail whisper she hardly recognized. "Thank God you're all right. You had me worried there when you didn't answer."

"I think I was knocked out," she said, fighting off the muscles aches as she tried to rise up off the floor. "Are you okay?"

"I've been better."

"What's wrong?" She answered, instantly on alert. "Tell me where you are, I'll come to you."

"No, stay where you are," he said, his voice a little stronger as he took command. "I need you to find the supply shelf … where the flashlights and lanterns are. I think you're close to it. Reach over … away from my voice. Feel for the metal shelves."

She did as he instructed, grateful not to have to think on her own. She wasn't sure if she could, she was still so dazed by all that had happened. After patting the floor for several seconds, she felt cold metal beneath her fingers and knew she had found the shelves.

"I'm there, J.R."

"Good girl," he said breathlessly. "The middle shelf … that's where they should be."

She stood up with difficulty, her legs stiff and bruised, but using the support of the shelf, she pulled herself up. Reaching out, feeling the contents of the shelf, a long cylinder was right where J.R. said it would be. She picked it up and pushed the switch. A portion of the small concrete storm cellar lit up including the shelf and she could see all the supplies in front of her now including two battery-powered lanterns. She flicked the switches on both, further illuminating the cellar.

Lifting one up, she turned, looking for J.R. To her surprise, he was lying on the floor not far from where she had been. He attempted to smile at her.

"I knew you could do it."

The pain in her muscles forgotten, she rushed over to him, kneeled down at his side. There was a deep gash on his forehead and blood covered part of his face. He was also trembling uncontrollably.

"You're hurt," she said softly, nearly unable to speak, and removed the handkerchief from his suit pocket, placing it against the wound on his head.

"You sure you're all right?" He replied, avoiding her statement. "Your cheek is bleedin'."

She reached up and touched her cheek with the palm of her hand. It stung and some blood wiped off but she knew it was only a scratch.

"It's nothing. What happened, J.R.?"

"Near as I can tell, the stable collapsed as soon as we got to the storm cellar. It crashed the hatch down on us but I think it also saved our lives." He coughed, grimaced at the pain, and closed his eyes, trying to stop the room from spinning. "Listen to me. We don't have much time.

"What do you mean?" She asked tentatively, a pang of fear ripping through her.

"My arm is broken, probably dislocated, and I'm pretty sure I have a concussion. I'm not sure how much longer I'm gonna stay conscious."

"J.R., don't say that."

"I'm fightin' it, honey but c'mon now … I'm countin' on you. You've gotta do a few things to get us outta this."

"Are we trapped in here?"

J.R. wasn't sure if they were or not but couldn't admit to it. "No, Bobby will know right where to look but if the stable did collapse on us, it's gonna take him some time. Over on the wall is a lever. Go over and pull it … it opens the outside air vent. We're gonna need some fresh air in here pretty quick."

Sue Ellen did as instructed, easily spotting the lever with the flashlight. The lever engaged and the vent clicked open but it also disturbed a spider that scurried away. She tried to withhold a frightened yelp.

"What's wrong?" J.R. asked, truly concerned.

"A spider," she replied, her voice still shaking.

J.R. couldn't help but softly laugh even though it made him cough again. "You mean to tell me you just survived a tornado and a little bitty spider scared you?"

"It wasn't little!" She said defensively as she came back to his side. His handkerchief was now soaked with blood. "Is there a first aid kit in here?"

"Should be, over on the shelf. The stable boys are supposed to keep this place stocked."

Sue Ellen went over to the shelf and after a short search, found the kit and some blankets. She scooped them up and returned to J.R.'s side.

"I didn't even know this cellar was here."

"Daddy put small ones like this all over the ranch, wherever anybody works. The tornados he saw in Oklahoma during his wildcattin' days really spooked him."

Sue Ellen smiled as she opened up the first aid kit and removed several items. "I didn't think Jock was afraid of anything."

"Just things he had no control over … like tornados … women."

That comment made Sue Ellen smile just as J.R. hoped it would, but the light mood didn't last long as she began to treat his head wound.

"You're going to need stitches."

"Just put some pressure on it. It'll be all right."

"Bet this isn't what you had in mind for your wedding day," she said as she opened a bandage package.

"No, but I think it was easier."

She smiled again then fell silent, pondering the question that was burning in her mind. After a moment, she finally asked. "Why did you come after me?"

"You didn't know what you were gettin' yourself into. But I'm not sure which was worse, tryin' to make it over here in time or pullin' you along with me." He smiled. "Damn! Did you have to fight me so hard?"

"How was I supposed to know you were trying to save my life?

"With a tornado that size barrelin' down on us, I was hopin' you might notice."

"Honestly … I didn't know what to think. You sure picked a hell of a time to go noble on me."

"Noble? Aw, hell … don't pin that on me. I just wasn't about to let my son grow up without his mamma."

The comment surprised her. "Do you mean that, J.R.?"

J.R. smiled again. "'Course I do. We took 'until death do us part' to the extreme today, didn't we?"

Even though his comment was light, the seriousness of the situation began to weigh down on Sue Ellen. "I'm sorry I put us both in danger. I had no idea. All I wanted to do was get out of there."

"I know," J.R. gently replied. "What happened upstairs … it shook both of us up." He paused for a moment then continued. "What were you doin' in my room?"

Sue Ellen looked at him, into his eyes for several long seconds. "Saying goodbye." She took a breath that ended in a sigh as she struggled to control her emotions. "J.R., it's got to end. All the damage we keep inflicting on each other. I'm not sure how much more I can take."

He nodded. "When we get outta here, we'll find a way … I promise. But for right now, we are stuck together. Think we can we call a truce?"

She nodded and smiled. "Sure."

With that, Sue Ellen tried to push all that had happened out of her mind. Finished with his bandage, she spread a blanket over him and he shivered.

"That feels good," he quietly said. "I'm so cold."

"You're going into shock, aren't you?" She needed confirmation of what she already knew even though she dreaded hearing it.

J.R. nodded his head slightly, trying to keep his eyes open. "Yeah. And I'm scared. I don't think I'm gonna beat this one, darlin'."

He never admitted defeat or fear and it startled her. Made her relive the time not so many months ago when she had pointed a gun at him and pulled the trigger. It didn't matter that only one of the three bullets barely scraped him. It was the thought she had wished him dead. Now, seeing him stretched out before her, pale and shaking from his injuries, knowing there was absolutely nothing she could do to save him, his death was the last thing she wanted.

"Please don't talk like that, J.R."

"Do one more thing for me?" He said as if he didn't hear her.

"What's that?"

"Just hold my hand … just for a minute."

Sue Ellen sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that blurred her eyes. She picked up his hand, held it in both of hers. It was so cold, so unlike the other times he had touched her, even like not so long ago, in his room, in front of his mirror. That now seemed years away.

His eyes closed and she called out his name. "J.R.! Don't you leave me! Don't you leave John Ross! Not like this. You keep fighting, you bastard! Do you hear me? You keep fighting because it can't end … not here … not like this!"

J.R. attempted to grip her hand even though his eyes remained closed. Her voice was becoming so distant. He knew he had to hang on but could hardly feel her hand.

"The first time … the first time I saw you," he whispered, he speech becoming slurred. "Knew I'd … love you … 'til the day I died." He could no longer feel the cold … the pain. His face relaxed into a smile. "I … was right."

His grip relaxed in her hand and he was gone, finally taken into unconsciousness by the shock and trauma from his injuries.

Sue Ellen wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand then placed it on his chest. There was still a shallow rise and fall from his breathing.

In the deafening silence of the room, looking down at the man who had just been so uncharacteristically heroic and saved her life at great risk to his own, the bits and pieces of what had happened began to come back to her.

She had run out the front door of Southfork, not noticing the terrible wind. All she cared about was reaching her car, getting off the ranch for good. The encounter with J.R. had disturbed her, made emotions resurface she thought she would never feel again. Emotions so close to love it frightened her.

He had abandoned her to win Kimberly Cryder and West Star. He had killed Nicholas even if it had been a terrible accident. He was involved with a sweet young girl he had seduced simply for the thrill of it. God, he was such a monster. Yet by the time she had reached her car outside, looked out to see the huge twister coming right at her, his was the arm she felt go around her, pulling her towards the main stable and the storm cellar they were now in. He had raced to her side, saved her life when he could have so easily just let her go.

So much of the past year had been spent hating him, plotting revenge. Thoughts of making him pay had consumed her. Yet she wouldn't have survived the day without him. She wouldn't have lived to see John Ross grow up and graduated high school … college … get married and make her a grandma.

John Ross. After all the battles they had fought over him, he was the only thing that mattered now. Out of it all … out of the storm and her bitterness and hatred for J.R. … an emotion surfaced, so strong it took her breath away. A feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time. It was hope. They would both survive this because their son needed them. Both of them. If anyone would find them, it would be Bobby. He would be there it in time to save J.R. He always was.

Yes, they were going to survive. She was going to make damn sure they did. There was too much unfinished business between them to let J.R. die.

He wasn't going to get out of it that easy.


	4. Chapter 4

Wild Is The Wind, Part 4

Sunshine streamed through the dark, swirling clouds, signaling the storm was truly over. A wide, barren skidmark snaked through the devastated Southfork landscape, the only trace of the tornado that had scrubbed the path clean. It was in direct contrast to the messy debris field that flanked it as far as the eye could see.

Broken limbs hung from the few trees that still stood. Ribbons of twisted metal lay in heaps, some driven into the ground at bizarre angles. Cattle huddled in dazed hordes, seeking now useless protection even as the horses pranced around, whinnying nervously.

Legendary stories of how tornados could pick and choose their targets had been proven true once again. Despite the devastation that surrounded it, despite blown-out windows and missing shingles, the ranch house was still intact.

The back door slowly opened and Ellie exited, moving carefully onto the patio that was littered with broken glass and debris. Fighting back tears, she gazed out over the ranch and the destruction before her. Trees were uprooted. Her flower gardens were bare. Fence lines and buildings were gone without a trace. The view she had known all her life was now barely recognizable.

A mixture of pain and despair welled up inside of her. How could this happen? Not on Southfork. Not on the land her father had worked into one of the best ranches in Texas. Not where she had met and fell in love with Jock ... raised his children ... symbolically buried him in the memorial they had planted out by the lake. Would it still be there?

"Mamma?" Bobby gently said, interrupting her incoherent thoughts.

His hand rested gently on her shoulder and Ellie finally surfaced out of her shock, turning to her youngest son. There were tears in his eyes, too. He understood. Behind him she saw the dazed faces of Clayton ... Cally ... her grandsons ... all of the guests who were there that day for the wedding. The wedding … J.R. and Sue Ellen.

"My God, Bobby ... we've got to find J.R. and Sue Ellen!" Ellie exclaimed.

"We will, Mamma," Bobby said gently and attempted a smile. "I'm headed out to look right now. If J.R. kept his wits about him, he headed for the storm cellar near that stables. That's where I'll look first. Can you stay here and make sure everybody is okay?"

Ellie nodded then wiped her tears away, summoning the inextinguishable inner strength she had always relied on. Southfork would recover. Their beautiful house has survived. Most importantly, her family was still at her side … most of them. But this was not the end of J.R. Ellie knew in her heart he was alive out there … somewhere. There was no doubt in her mind.

"Go, Bobby … find your brother. Be safe."

Clayton came up behind Ellie and put his arm around her shoulder. She reached up to hold his hand. Bobby looked over at his stepfather and nodded. No other words were needed. He knew his mother would be safe with Clayton.

John Ross suddenly emerged from the small, dazed crowd and ran over to Bobby. "Uncle Bobby, do you know where my dad and mom are?"

"I have a pretty good idea but I don't have time to talk about it right now. Stay with your grandma and I'll be back just as soon as I can and tell you all about it."

"No!" John Ross adamantly said. "I'm going with you to look for them and you can't stop me."

Bobby took a moment to adjust to the unaccustomed bravado of the boy. He was suddenly so much like his grandfather and namesake … so much like a Ewing. And if it were Jock who was missing, nothing would hold him back from searching, either.

"All right, partner," Bobby nodded, "let's go." He looked over at his own son. "Christopher, help Clayton and Teresa look out for your grandma and everyone else 'til I get back."

"I will, Dad." Christopher nodded.

As Bobby and John Ross turned to walk off, a short, curly-haired man approached and fell in step with them. "Don Lockwood," he said to Bobby in an English accent. "This is a hell of a way to be introduced but I escorted Sue Ellen here today. Mind if I join in the search for her?"

Bobby looked over at the man and shook his head. "No, not at all. I'll probably need an extra pair of hands." He pointed to the rubble heaped over the ground where the stable once stood. "Let's start over there."

Never before had seventy-five yards seemed so far to Bobby. Treacherous fragments of unrecognizable debris were scattered everywhere, slowing their progress. Added to that, the paddocks between the house and stable looked like a horrific parking lot full of the remnants of cars that had only minutes before filled the driveway. Some had been lifted and twisted by the wicked wind then deposited upside down. Others had shattered windows and scarred paint jobs, looking as if as if they had been in a war zone.

So did the stable. The closer he got to it, the more Bobby was awed by its destruction. All that remained standing were a few battered vertical beams that had once supported the roof. The roof itself had been ripped off and thrown into the pasture behind where it shattered into a million pieces. Just like everything else. Most of what was left reminded Bobby of kindling for a campfire.

"J.R. ... Sue Ellen?" He loudly shouted as he surveyed the pile of rubble before him. He silently hoped they hadn't taken shelter inside the stable as he moved towards where he thought the storm shelter was. One of the stable walls had collapsed over it. Had they made it there in time?

"Sue Ellen?" Don called out, remaining close to Bobby, unsure of which way to go but hoping for some signal from the lady he had accompanied to the ranch less than two hours ago.

"Mom? Dad?" John Ross echoed, moving along the side of what was left of stable, searching for anything familiar.

Below in the cold, silent shelter, Sue Ellen opened her weary, scratched eyes. She was sitting against the wall near J.R., her hand and arm resting protectively on his chest, afraid he would stop breathing and she wouldn't know. Had she dreamed her son's voice, only hoping to hear John Ross again? She waited, unknowingly holding her breath when the faint call came again ...

"Mom? Dad?"

Sue Ellen scrambled to her feet and went to the air vent. "John Ross! I'm down here, sweetheart! You're daddy is here, too!"

John Ross heard her faint voice and excitedly called out to Bobby as he wildly looked around, searching for any sign of his mother. "I can hear Mom, Uncle Bobby! Somewhere over here!"

Bobby moved quickly to join his nephew. "Keep calling out to her, John Ross!"

"Mom, Uncle Bobby is here, too! We'll find you! Keep talking to us!"

"We're in the storm cellar!" Sue Ellen shouted back. "But your daddy is hurt. Tell Uncle Bobby to hurry!"

By that time, Bobby had reached the vent. "I'm here, Sue Ellen! We'll get you out just as soon as we can! Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine but J.R. is unconscious, Bobby. Please hurry!"

"Hang tight just a little longer, Sue Ellen. The stable collapsed on the door and we're gonna need a tractor to uncover it." The faint sound of approaching sirens suddenly reached Bobby and he couldn't help but smile. In her usual way, Ellie had obviously somehow gotten help called to the ranch. "Sue Ellen, I can hear the sirens!" He called out. "Help is almost here!" He turned to John Ross. "Listen, you stay here and talk to your mamma. She needs to hear you more than anything right now. Okay?"

"Yes sir," John Ross nodded as he watched Bobby hurry off then looked down at the vent. "Don't worry, Mamma ... I'm gonna stay right here 'til me and Uncle Bobby get you outta there."

Below, Sue Ellen smiled even as she started to cry. Having her son there calmed her in ways she didn't think possible under the circumstances. "Thank you, sweetheart. That makes me feel so much better. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mamma," John Ross replied as he tried to hold back his tears. It was his first chance to be scared by all he had seen from his first tornado but he knew he had to be brave, just like his daddy had taught him to be.

Not far below where he kneeled, his mother was experiencing similar emotions. She was suddenly terrified, felt like screaming because of all she had seen and heard, felt like the confined shelter was suffocating her. But she knew she had to hang on, just like Bobby said. She had to be brave for just a little bit longer … but how?

"Mamma?" Came the echo of John Ross' voice down the vent. "Will you tell Daddy I love him, too?"

That was the answer. She suddenly knew she could hold herself together, be brave as long as needed for that little boy up there who truly did need both her and J.R.

"I will, sweetheart … I'll do it right now."

She turned and went over to where J.R. remained motionless on the floor and knelt down next to him, taking his cold hand in hers.

"Did you hear that, J.R.?" She whispered. "John Ross is here … and he loves you, very much. So, you hang on for him, damn you! You make sure you are here with me to see him grow up and get married. You make sure you are here to see his children because I'm not gonna be a grandma alone. Besides, there is still so much I want to fight with you about. Plus you owe me about a thousand apologies. So you hang on!"

In the following silence, she realized that even as angry as she had been with him, even after all the low tricks and horrible things he had said to her, there was nothing she wouldn't give to hear J.R.'s voice again.

"Please, hang on." She softly added.


	5. Chapter 5

Wild Is The Wind, Part 5

Bobby and Don worked frantically alongside Braddock County Sheriff deputies, paramedics and firefighters and within an hour, the storm cellar door was almost cleared. John Ross, who had kept a constant vigil at the vent, had talked to his mother the entire time and explained all that was going on above her.

"Uncle Bobby says we're almost to the door, Mamma," he called out.

Sue Ellen smiled, grateful he was still there. His voice was the only piece of sanity she had to hold on to as the cold, cramped walls of the storm cellar imaginarily threatened to cave in on her.

"Tell him I owe him a big hug, sweetheart … you, too," she called back. Then she looked down at J.R. and stroked his hand. "Not much longer now, darlin'," she whispered. Even in the eerie blue artificial light of the lantern, he was so pale. But he was still breathing and she could feel a steady heartbeat at his pulse point.

Before a minute had passed, John Ross excitedly called down to her again. "Mom, the door is cleared! Uncle Bobby is opening it now!"

The storm cellar door groaned as it was pried open then sunshine flooded the tiny room. Sue Ellen barely had time to blink her eyes and adjust to the new brightness before being surrounded by three large men in uniforms. Two of them bent down to attend to J.R. and the other knelt down next to Sue Ellen and took her hand.

"Are you hurt, Mrs. Ewing?" He gently asked as he closely examined her face. "You're pretty roughed up."

"No, I'm fine … just a few scratches and bruises."

The young man rummaged about in a blue canvas bag at his side. "You sure are lucky. That twister chewed up this entire section of Braddock County includin' your ranch. It's a wonder we didn't lose anybody today."

"So everyone on the ranch is all right?"

"Far as we can tell," he said as he gently ran some medicated cotton swabs over the scratches on her face.

"Thank God," she sighed.

"Amen," the paramedic echoed with a smile.

Sue Ellen looked over at J.R. then back at the young man attending her. "Please, look out for my hus ... for my ex-husband. He needs you more than I do."

"Yes, ma'am ... we surely will. We'll be movin' him outta here in just a few minutes. So, how 'bout if I help you outta here first so we have a little more room?"

Sue Ellen smiled weakly. "I'd like that."

"Can you walk?" He asked as he stood up and offered her his hand.

"Yes, but J.R. ... before he passed out, he said he thought his arm was broken."

"That's good to know," the paramedic replied as he helped her stand up. "We'll be extra careful with him then."

He led her to the stairs and guided her up even as a hand reached down to help her. It was Bobby and he pulled her up into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're all right," he grinned as he hugged her tightly.

"Thank you so much, Bobby," was all she could manage before a pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

She looked down to see John Ross hugging her tightly. Bobby released her and Sue Ellen twisted slightly so she could pull John Ross into her arms.

"It's all right, sweetheart," she gently said as she stroked his hair. "You were so brave. Your daddy and I are so lucky you were here."

John Ross looked up at her then over at the open cellar door. "Is Daddy okay, Mamma? He didn't ..." He struggled with the word of finality he couldn't bear to say.

"No, he's gonna be just fine," Sue Ellen reassured him. "The paramedics are taking care of him right now. Besides, your daddy would never give up on you that easy."

Finally getting her bearings, Sue Ellen looked around and was awed by what she saw. It was more than the jarringly chaotic destruction of the ranch and emergency vehicles with flashing red and blue lights that dotted the landscape. It was the overwhelming crowd of people, both in and out of uniforms, who had all joined in to get her and J.R. out. Neighbors, paramedics, firefighters, deputies … plus the faces of people she knew and loved ... Miss Ellie ... Clayton … Don.

A pang of guilt ripped through her as Don smiled at her. She was responsible for him being there, for him having to endure the dangerous past few hours. Yet she hadn't even thought about him or his safety when she fled the house before the storm. She hadn't thought of anything except escaping. How ironic that she had ended up trapped with the very man she was running from.

A slight commotion at the cellar door made her turn her attention back to the hole in the ground. With a great deal of effort, the paramedics were maneuvering J.R., strapped to a long spineboard, up the narrow stairs and out of the cellar. Hindering their progress were the IV tubes, monitors and oxygen tank attached to him.

Once they were out, the paramedics placed him on a stretcher and immediately went back to work on him even as they wheeled him to the waiting air rescue chopper over in the paddock.

Under the oxygen mask strapped to his face, J.R. looked smaller, helpless, so much like the time Kristin shot him. Sue Ellen involuntarily trembled. She had shot him herself not so many months ago without even acknowledging the consequences. Now it was all she could do to keep herself from running to his side.

Cally suddenly emerged out of the crowd and went to her husband, reaching out to touch his face. An odd pang of jealousy gripped Sue Ellen's stomach. What a difference several hours had made. She woke up loathing J.R. that morning. Now she worried if he would survive the night. With difficulty, she stifled the sob constricting her throat.

John Ross looked up at her. "Mamma, can I go see Daddy?"

Sue Ellen nodded and tried to smile. "Sure ... bet he'd like that. Hurry fast before they load him on the helicopter."

She watched as John Ross scurried over the debris to stand at Cally's side. As John Ross reached out to touch J.R.'s hand, the restrained tears finally escaped and Sue Ellen began to cry.

After a moment, Cally and John Ross were pulled back and watched with everyone else as J.R. was loaded into the waiting helicopter. As the rotors began to power up and turn, a dust storm kicked up from the paddock, making everyone turn to shield their eyes.

The harsh noise reminded Sue Ellen of the tornado and she shivered, feeling frozen inside and out, even in the warm Texas sun. As the chopper lifted off and quickly flew out of view, she felt someone standing next to her. She turned to see Don, sweat-streaked and dirty from the dust raised while working to set her free from the storm cellar.

"You all right?" He sweetly asked her in that adorable English accent she had grown to love. Sue Ellen collapsed into his arms, no longer able to contain the emotions that had suffocated inside her the past few hours. Don gently stroked her back and whispered against her ear. "Shhhhh … you're safe, luv."

Sue Ellen squeezed her eyes shut, trying to blot out all that had happened but the tears slid out the edges and ran down her cheeks.

"It's all my fault," she gasped. "J.R. …"

"He'll be all right," Don interjected as he tried to comfort her, hoping to calm the violent shaking that threatened to overtake her. "From what I know of the man, a little tornado isn't about to stop him."

"Sue Ellen," came a meek voice from behind them. Sue Ellen reluctantly released Don and turned to see Cally standing behind her, a look of confusion and anger clouding her expression. "How could you do this?" Her voice was dazed and monotone. "How could you pull J.R. away from the house … on his weddin' day … away from me and the others … nearly gettin' him killed?"

"Cally, I'm so sorry," Sue Elle quietly said, trying to regain control of her emotions while accepting the consequences of her actions earlier in the day. The silence of the storm cellar had given her more than enough time to deeply regret the revenge and spitefulness that had consumed her, driving her to attend a wedding that she had no place at. "I shouldn't have been here today."

"J.R. might … die," Cally replied, her eyes glassing over with tears.

Sue Ellen looked away, tears once again blurring her own eyes.

Miss Ellie approached Cally and put her arm around her shoulder. "Cally, this wasn't Sue Ellen's fault … it wasn't anyone's fault," she gently scolded. "Do you hear me?" It took a moment but when the words finally registered, the girl simply nodded her head, acknowledging the lady at her side. Ellie smiled. "And don't you dare give up on J.R. He needs all of us right now."

Ellie glanced over at Clayton who immediately came over and pulled Cally against him. "C'mon, sweetie," Clayton softly said. "Let's go back to the house and change so we can get to the hospital."

He began to walk her away. Dazed, Cally followed him without further protest. Once she was far enough away, Ellie turned to Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen braced herself, knowing she had another lecture coming and knew it was useless to defend herself against the woman she respected and loved more than her own mother. Instead, Ellie simply drew closer then gently touched her scratched cheek and pulled her down into a hug. Sue Ellen sighed and began to softly cry again.

"You take good care of yourself," Ellie softly whispered before pulling back and releasing her former daughter-in-law. Sue Ellen simply nodded, unable to speak. Ellie then looked over and spotted John Ross and called out to him. "John Ross, come here, please."

"Okay, Grandma," he answered back while running to her side.

Once he was close enough, Ellie placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "I need you to go with your mamma and stay with her 'til your daddy comes home. You need to look out for her. Can you do that for me?"

John Ross looked up at his mother and smiled. "Sure, Grandma!"

"That's my good boy," Ellie grinned then kissed his cheek. She looked over at Sue Ellen and they exchanged knowing glances.

Sue Ellen smiled gratefully at the older woman. With a few short sentences, Ellie had just smoothed over so many problems while at the same time giving her the one thing Sue Ellen needed more than anything … the presence of her son.

"Thank you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen softly remarked.

Ellie smiled at her then headed for the house. After a few steps, she suddenly stopped and turned back.

"Sue Ellen, John Ross," she said in a voice loud enough to carry over the crowd. "In a few days, we'll be holding a barbeque for all our neighbors and these brave men from the Braddock Country Sheriff's office who helped us today … to thank them all." She turned and surveyed the crowd. "No tornado is about to scare any of us off."

For a brief moment, the crowd was silent as they looked on at the fierce little lady before them. Then they erupted in a hearty, spontaneous cheer and applause.

They were going to make it. They were all going to survive this day. Braddock County would recover from the disaster that had hit it hard and Ellie Southworth Ewing Farlow was just person to show them the way.


	6. Chapter 6

Wild Is The Wind, Part 6

It was after midnight and Dallas Memorial Hospital was quiet. The lights had been dimmed, adding to the sedate atmosphere, and except for a janitor mopping the floor the hallways were empty. Just as Sue Ellen hoped they would be.

She cautiously approached the critical care unit where a nurse at the duty station acknowledged her.

"May I help you, ma'am?" The young girl asked with a smile.

Sue Ellen walked over to the desk. "Yes, I'm Sue Ellen Ewing. I know visiting hours were over a long time ago, but could you tell me how J.R. Ewing is doing?"

"Are you part of the immediate family?"

"Yes," she lied, finding it much easier than the truth considering the circumstances.

"Well, I just came on duty but if you'd like to take a seat in the waiting room, I can check?"

"Thank you," Sue Ellen replied with a grateful smile. "But may I wait here? I don't want to disturb anyone."

"Sure," the nurse said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

As the girl walked away, Sue Ellen suddenly felt very exposed. She looked down the hall but no one was there, especially not the Ewings and Cally. It was a relief. Avoiding them and another confrontation was the reason she had come to the hospital so late, leaving John Ross asleep at home while paying the housekeeper overtime to watch over him. Now if the nurse would just hurry back so she could leave again.

As she waited, the small television behind the desk caught her attention. A reporter on the late night news was rattling off several names she recognized:

"_The tornado in Braddock County today has been officially categorized as an F3. Although it touched down and ran along open range, several houses and barns were damaged in the final moments of the storm including Southfork Ranch, home of the Ewings, one of the most influential families in Dallas. Only minor injuries were reported throughout the county except for J.R. Ewing, who was admitted to Dallas Memorial Hospital. Details of his condition have not been released. For more on the tornado, we go to Jessica Jacobs in Braddock County …"_

The narrated video clip that followed showed vivid, disturbing images of how the once-beautiful property around the ranch had been torn up. Nothing looked the same. And there in the middle of it was the collapsed stable. It only emphasized how close they had been to being killed.

Her earlier trauma was forcefully rekindled and Sue Ellen turned from the television, unable to tolerate any more. The color drained from her face as she began to tremble, leaning against the desk for support.

An unexpected but supportive hand was suddenly on her back. "Sue Ellen, are you all right?"

Sue Ellen looked over to see Miss Ellie. "Oh, Miss Ellie … I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be here."

"Nonsense," Ellie gently interrupted. The older woman looked understandably tired but the usual warmth and kindness was still in her eyes and smile. "You have every right to be here." Her expression turned to concern again as she took Sue Ellen's hand, hoping to steady her. "But you're so pale … and probably exhausted. Shouldn't you be home resting?"

"This might sound crazy, but I just needed to see how J.R. is doing."

Ellie smiled. "That doesn't sound crazy at all. I'm actually glad to see you. Wish you would have come up earlier, when John Ross was here."

"I didn't want to intrude."

"Sue Ellen, you're family. Besides, I don't think J.R. or John Ross would want you anywhere else." Ellie motioned to a couch against the wall behind them. "Why don't we sit down for a minute so I can fill you in on what's been happening? Then you can go in and see J.R."

"Is Cally's here?" Sue Ellen asked apprehensively.

Ellie guided her to a couch. "No, she's out in the car with Clayton. We were just leaving when I saw you across the parking lot. I told them I forgot my purse."

Sue Ellen smiled at that. Being able to maintain such calm and composure while everything around her was in chaos was one of the many things she had always admired about Miss Ellie. It was also a trait she longed to emulate.

Ellie reached over and took Sue Ellen's hand again. "All things considered, J.R. is doing very well. He has a severe concussion and they are closely monitoring him tonight, but the surgery to fix his arm and shoulder went well. The doctors weren't sure he could tolerate the anesthesia but he did just fine."

"Was his arm badly broken?"

"No … it wasn't broken at all." Ellie paused briefly and looked down, still jarred by her son's injuries. "His shoulder was dislocated but the rest of the damage came from the tornado. It picked up fence nails and drove several into his arm, probably making it feel like it was broken." She reached over to tip Sue Ellen's chin so she could examine the cuts on the otherwise flawless skin. "That's also what probably scratched your face." She dropped her hand. "All things considered, you were both very lucky, Sue Ellen."

"So he was shielding me," Sue Ellen murmured. "No wonder he was in so much pain." She looked over at Ellie, trying to hold back the tears pooling in her eyes "I am so sorry, Miss Ellie. He shouldn't have been out there. He should have been in the house with you and Cally."

Ellie firmly gripped her hand. "Sue Ellen, J.R. was right where he needed to be. He was the reason you were out in the storm." Sue Ellen was surprised to hear a different point a view and Ellie clarified the statement. "Do you want to tell me what happened in the bedroom … before you ran out?"

After all that had happened, the blurred memories of that moment were finally starting to register again. Miss Ellie had been at the bedroom door. She had run past her when trying to escape from J.R.

"I thought we going to fight," Sue Ellen vaguely replied as she visualized that moment. "But we ended up simply saying goodbye."

"I see," Ellie said with a gentle smile, needing no further explanation. "Being together again … near each other … it changed things, didn't it?" The comment left Sue Ellen speechless and Ellie nodded. "I know. In some ways, your relationship with J.R. reminds me of what I had with Jock. No matter what he did or how angry it made me, seems like all he had to do was get close enough and all was forgotten."

Sue Ellen wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh, Miss Ellie … it's been a terrible year. We've been so awful to each other. I've said and done things to him I shouldn't have … things I wouldn't have even thought of normally."

"Including shooting him?" Ellie softly added. It wasn't an accusation.

"Yes." Sue Ellen softly replied. "Seeing him unconscious today … I realized that him being dead was the last thing I wanted."

Ellie nodded sympathetically. "Sue Ellen, I know my son. I know he is not an easy man to live with. No doubt he has given you more grief than I can ever imagine. But I've never seen him act more selfless than he did today." She smiled once again. "He must love you very much."

Sue Ellen fell silent, trying to comprehend the advice even as the young nurse appeared again.

"Mrs. Ewing?" The nurse called out.

"Yes?" Both ladies answered.

The young girl was momentarily taken aback when both women answered but she directed her information to the dark haired lady who had made the inquiry. "Mr. Ewing's vital signs are stable and he's sleeping. The anesthesia hasn't quite worn off yet."

"Young lady," Miss Ellie called out with a charming smile. "This is J.R.'s wife. May she go in and see him for a moment?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am. He's in 1221."

"Thank you," Sue Ellen said with a smile as the nurse left. She looked back at Miss Ellie who nodded her approval and winked. "And thank you, Miss Ellie."

"Not at all. I think it will do J.R. good, having you here." With that, Ellie stood up. "Now you go on in. Clayton will be coming after me soon if I don't hurry down to the parking lot."

Sue Ellen reached over and took the older lady's hand once more. "Miss Ellie, you letting John Ross come home with me … and coming back to talk to me … it means a great deal to me."

Ellie smiled and gently framed Sue Ellen's face with her hands. "And you mean a great deal to me, Sue Ellen. Don't you ever forget that." She lightly placed a kiss on her forehead. "Good night."

"Good night."

Sue Ellen watched Ellie walk out the door then sat for a moment, trying to make sense of all she was feeling. So much of what happened during the day was finally flooding back into her memory, making her head pound. But even more overwhelming were the conflicting emotions roiling inside of her, overturning all that had seemed right and reasonable. Less than twelve hours ago, she hated J.R. with a passion. Now what she felt about him was … unnamable … and very confusing. And why had she felt a twinge of pride when Miss Ellie introduced her as J.R.'s wife?

That damned tornado. It hadn't just blown the ranch apart. It had completely uprooted and twisted her life. How had J.R., of all people, suddenly become her hero? What about Nicholas, the man she had loved and lost? What about Don, the man she was starting to have feelings for? There was no room in her life for J.R. yet there he was … again.

Sue Ellen sighed, putting her face in her hands, rubbing her temples. Nothing made sense. She wasn't sure if it ever would again. But whatever it was she was feeling for J.R., she refused to be indebted to him. He wasn't going to hold it over her head that he had saved her life. For good or bad, they had been in that cellar together. They would take equal responsibility for being there no matter what happened between them in the bedroom. Maybe they would finally find a way to peacefully co-exist like they had in that cold little room. She paused. Peacefully co-existing might be asking too much. But then again, maybe the tornado had knocked some sense into J.R.

That thought gave her a much-needed laugh. Feeling a little better, she stood up and headed to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

Wild Is The Wind, Part 7

Sue Ellen paused at the door of the hospital room to look in on J.R. Even without much light, she could see he was still sleeping deeply, just as the nurse said. An oxygen mask covered his face but he didn't seem as pale. He actually looked much better than the last time she saw him, during that fleeting glimpse before they loaded him onto the helicopter.

She quietly walked over to the bed, needing a closer look, just to make sure. The sharp cynicism of the past year was gone from his expression, making him look younger … peaceful … non-threatening. Her mental defenses against him began to slip. She even smiled a little.

He still looked so sweet when he slept. Knowing that was a secret she always treasured, mostly because she knew how much he would hate it. It didn't matter that everyone looked adorable when asleep. Being vulnerable in any way, including while asleep, was unacceptable to J.R. It would go against the Ewing creed … would be a weakness his enemies might expose. Not that she would ever tell anyone. Even as much as she disliked him at the moment, she would never betray him for looking sweet when asleep.

She nearly laughed out loud at how ridiculous her train of thought had become. No doubt it was because she was so tired. But as she continued to look down at him, she admitted to herself that sleeping next to J.R. had actually been one of the things she loved about their marriage.

After the extravagances and drama of being his wife, it was the quiet, simple times that meant the most. Times like this when she could just look him without fear of being caught … when she could still see traces of the charming rake she had fallen in love with … when she could admire how handsome he still was.

She reached over and brushed back a silky silver lock of hair that had fallen across his forehead. J.R. was often overlooked next to his brothers. It would be difficult for any man to compete with the all-American good looks of Bobby or the frail blondeness of Gary. But if J.R. happened to make eye contact with that blue-gray sparkle or flash his deviously delicious grin, it was enough to charm even the most immune to his side. Which he did … often. Including practically any woman he wanted. The bastard.

How many times had she fallen for his charm … over and over again? Too many times to count. It seemed like she was forever in a constant cycle of being intensely attracted to him and intensely regretting it. Being away from him made her fight it even harder. Yet despite all her best efforts, J.R. could still turn her willpower to mush. What was there about him that short-circuited her good sense and judgment?

So many things he did annoyed her. Too many to list. But she was so drawn to the overwhelming aura of power and strength about him. He had such a sense of purpose, always knowing what he was doing, why he was doing it and what it would take to make it work. Whatever it took, whatever the risk, which also gave him a hint of daring and danger. It also made him insatiable.

Being born a Ewing had presented him with so much yet he still hungered for more. Food, women, money, power … he wanted everything he could get out of life. At certain times of their life together, he had even craved her the same way, coaxing her to love him so much it broke her heart. Yet being able to inspire her to such dizzying heights … well, there was something very attractive about that, too. Even seductive.

Seductive? That word and all it meant made Sue Ellen suddenly check herself, realizing almost too late she was heading back to him at full speed.

"Damn it," she whispered, clearly disappointed. It happened again. That instinct-like draw to him when J.R. was down or hurt or even asleep. She had to fight it. Feelings like that were impossible now, even unrealistic. Too much damage had been inflicted between them for anything even slightly romantic to be considered. She paused for a moment. They had also been through too much today for any more hate.

She felt it inside. The drive for revenge was gone. Not even what happened to Nicholas could justify it anymore. Not after J.R. had put himself at such great risk to save her life.

Sue Ellen reached down to slip her hand over his. He was warm again … and so familiar. Another unwelcome pang of attraction hit her and she quickly pulled her hand back as if she had been burned. Would she still be able to keep her distance from him? She had to. But could she?

Lacking her customary grace, Sue Ellen sank down to the stool next to the bed and sighed heavily, completely drained by the mental effort being used to sort everything out she was experiencing. She closed her eyes and rubbed them. If only she could get her mind to shut off … just for a moment.

She placed her arm on the bed rails then rested her head against it. If only she could sleep … just for a moment.

It was the last thought she remembered before drifting off.


	8. Chapter 8

Wild Is The Wind, Part 8

The dark, swirling mist was endless. No matter which way J.R. turned, he was surrounded by it. There was nothing solid within reach, even the ground below him felt liquid.

Every once in a while, he heard a sound, a whisper, more like a distant memory than anything he could focus on. Then came a faint rhythmic sound, so faint he almost couldn't hear it for his own heartbeat. But it grew stronger and louder, now falling in a very distinct pattern. A pattern he knew so well. It was the sound of hoof beats … a running horse.

In a flash, the mist suddenly lifted, revealing it was J.R. who was on horseback, galloping through the Southfork pastures, so much like the times when he was a boy and would ride for miles without encountering either a fence or another human being. He grinned. He had forgotten the intoxicating freedom and power that being on horseback gave him. Combined with the peaceful beauty surrounding him, he felt like there was nowhere else he would rather be.

But he shouldn't be there.

The last thing he remembered was the cold cement storm cellar, trying to focus on Sue Ellen's face. Sue Ellen. A combination of fear and anxiety made his heart beat faster. He had come so close to losing her in the tornado, closer than he dared admit. But they made it. They beat the odds again, just like they had done so many times before. He pulled up the horse and frantically searched the horizon. Where was she now?

A movement in the distance caught his eye. Someone on horseback riding fast. It had to be Sue Ellen. J.R. clicked his tongue and pulled the reins of the horse in the same direction, getting ready to ride out and meet her when it became clear it wasn't her. Instead, it was a tall, strong rider on a powerful white horse. Obviously a man, he was dressed completely in western wear from the white cowboy hat pulled low over his eyes to the boots planted firmly in the stirrups.

The rider soon approached and slowed his horse. When he gave J.R. a kindly, weatherworn smile, it left J.R. with a familiar, euphoric impression he had long ago lost hope of ever feeling again. J.R. grinned as he once more looked into the wise, wizened face of his father.

"Well, I'll be damned!" Jock shouted with a hearty laugh even as a loud crack of thunder sounded. He quickly dismounted his horse and looked up at his son. "Never thought I'd see you on a horse again, Junior!"

"Daddy?" J.R. skeptically called out as he dismounted and studied the man before him. "Is it really you?"

"It sure as hell is, son!" Another clap of thunder rang out and J.R. flinched. Jock waved off his hand and laughed. "Don't pay no attention to that noise. It's just the Range Boss Upstairs remindin' me about my swearin'." As if for emphasis, another low boom sounded, making Jock laugh again at the additional reminder of who was in charge. "Now get on over here so I can get a good look at you."

Jock's voice still had the warm, gruff texture J.R. remembered, making him laugh as he eagerly approached his father. Jock placed his hands on J.R.'s upper arms then pulled him into a bear hug that squeezed the air out of his lungs. J.R. returned the embrace as best he could before Jock pulled back to look down at his oldest son once again.

"It sure is good to see you! It was awful, not gettin' to say goodbye to you and your brothers and your mamma."

"So it's true?" J.R. said cautiously, his happiness instantly extinguished. "You're really dead?"

Jock placed his hand on J.R.'s shoulder. "I sure am, son. Went down in that chopper in South America, just like you and your brothers found out."

"I never wanted to believe …" J.R. suddenly stopped, realizing it explained where he was. "Does that mean I'm dead, too?"

Jock shrugged his shoulder. "Not sure. That was quite a bump on the head you got. It might'a killed you or maybe this is a dream. Could even be your conscience playin' a trick on you. But guess that's why they sent me here … to either escort you up there," he paused and motioned upwards with his thumb. "Or else give you a boot in the ass back to life."

Another clap of thunder sounded but J.R. no longer minded, amused by his father's total disregard for the swearing rule. He took the opportunity to look at Jock, took in everything about him. He was just as bold and brash as J.R. remembered, making him realize just how much he missed the man.

So much had changed since Jock hadn't come home from South America. The oil business … Ewing Oil … even the family was different with Clayton Farlow now living at Southfork. That had been the hardest change of all to tolerate.

"Daddy, could I go with you?" J.R. asked earnestly. "I'm not sure I wanna go back home."

Jock gave him a terrifying frown. "You mean to tell me you're givin' up?"

"No, sir." J.R. knew Jock never tolerated a quitter and decided honesty was his only option. "But I've got nothin' to go back for. I've lost everything … includin' Ewing Oil."

Jock looked at his son for a moment then chuckled. "Oh … that."

"Sir?" J.R. was surprised by his father's carefree reaction and Jock waved off his hand again.

"Ewing Oil isn't important, boy. Never was. It's the family that matters … your family. That grandson of mine is beautiful. You made a fine match with Sue Ellen. Just wish I understood why you kept company with all those two-bit hussies while she was at home waitin' for you." J.R. had no answer for the embarrassingly honest remark and looked down at his boots as Jock continued. "J.R., when you gonna learn that the only thing chasin' women will get'cha is a cold bed?" Jock's expression became stern. "It's time for you to settle down … start turnin' your attention to one woman like I did."

J.R. attempted his most repentant tone. "Yes, sir. There's a sweet, young girl I'm marryin' and …"

Jock laughed loudly, interrupting his son's ploy. "I didn't say settle down with some flighty filly, boy. Cally may be a honey but she's no match for you." J.R. again had no answer for his father's brutal honesty. "Besides, how long do you think it's gonna last? She'll wear you out within a year." Jock laughed again even as J.R. looked extremely uncomfortable. "Son, you know what your problem is? You need a real woman, like your mamma." Jock smiled at the recollection of Miss Ellie. "I loved the way she could fire me up." Jock looked over at J.R. "Plus your mamma's a Ewing in every sense of the word. You really gonna settle for anyone less than that?"

J.R. shrugged his shoulders. "Findin' a woman like Mamma would be impossible."

Jock eyed his son for several long moments. "Junior, I surely did you a disservice by takin' you to the whorehouses in New Orleans instead of sittin' you down and tellin' you how to really love a woman. You've got all the woman you could ever ask for right under your nose and you can't even see her."

It was no good feigning ignorance. J.R. knew exactly what woman his father was talking about. "You mean Sue Ellen?"

Jock smiled proudly at his oldest son. "I surely do. Just wanted to hear you say it. She turned out to be one sharp lady … so much like your mamma. One of the few women who lives up to the Ewing name." Jock chuckled to himself. "Plus she sure is nice to look at … best pair of legs in Dallas." His father's approval of Sue Ellen made J.R. smile but Jock's mood suddenly became serious. He folded his arms across his chest, making his imposing stature even more severe. "Now how 'bout tellin' me how you lost her?"

J.R. looked away. "I don't know."

"The hell you don't!" Jock shouted, matching the loud crack of thunder at his curse. "You put the oil business and everything else before her one too many times and she left you … didn't she?"

"Yes, sir." J.R. suddenly felt incapable of deception. Was it being back in his father's presence or was he truly experiencing a guilty conscience?

Jock continued. "How'd it feel when she wrangled West Star from you?"

There seemed to be nothing his father didn't know. At least nothing J.R. could hide from him. "I was angry."

Jock chuckled softly. "C'mon now. She showed you just how smart she could be, how well she could play your game. And you admired her for winnin', didn't you?"

The clarity of his father's words felt like an awakening for J.R. Being beaten out of West Star by Sue Ellen had been humiliating yet the deviousness of her planning and execution had honestly fascinated him, mostly because it reminded him so much of himself. He could still picture her standing next to Kimberly Cryder that day. The woman he had promised to marry and the woman he was married to … the woman he couldn't take his eyes off. J.R. slowly smiled.

"Yes, sir," he finally admitted. "I did."

Jock's voice dropped lower. "You found it excitin', too … didn't you?"

J.R. reluctantly nodded. "Yes, sir … I did."

Jock chuckled again. "Yep, no doubt about it … so much like Ellie, all silk and steel." After a moment of reflection, Jock looked over at his son with an intensity that made J.R. inwardly cringe. "Junior, you're goin' back. You've got too much unfinished business … too much you've gotta set straight."

"Daddy, no …" J.R. began to complain before Jock cut him off.

"But I'm sendin' you back with somethin' … somethin' I should'a given you a long time ago." Jock's tone gentled and he smiled. "My respect and love. I do love you, son. And I'm proud of you … damn proud!" Jock hesitated, waiting for another clap of thunder but none followed. He laughed and pointed upwards. "See, even He agrees." His expression turned stern once more. "But that doesn't let you off the hook. I want you to cut out the bullshit, J.R.!" The thunder loudly resumed but Jock was undeterred. "You'll attract a whole lot more flies with honey than you will with vinegar."

"Daddy, I never did understand what you meant by that." J.R. remarked with a frustrated frown.

"I'm talkin' about persuasion and charm, boy … not confrontation and lies. You've already lost Sue Ellen and Ewing Oil because of your shenanigans. Do you wanna lose everything else?"

"I don't wanna lose you, Daddy." J.R. quietly remarked.

Jock stopped and gently smiled. "Well, thank you kindly, son. But it's too late for me. I'm just a real good memory now. It's time for you to let go of me … and Ewing Oil."

"No, Daddy! Ewing Oil is your legacy … the company you built up from nothin'. I can't let it go."

"I'm not there anymore, son ... haven't been for a long time. And nothin' you do is gonna bring me back." Jock rapped his knuckles against J.R.'s chest. "This is where I am now, in your heart. You wanna leave that fine young grandson of mine a legacy, then you start there. You teach him everything I taught you … the _good_ things I taught you." Jock clasped his son's shoulder again. "J.R., it's time for you to step outta my shadow, be the man I taught you to be for both your family and the business. You can do it, son … I know you're capable of bein' a real good man. It's about damn time you start provin' me right."

The thunder suddenly seemed louder and J.R. looked around. The surrounding landscape was becoming fuzzy, the color bleeding away.

"Plus there is someone just itchin' to help you," Jock said over his shoulder as he headed back to his horse. J.R. could barely make him out in the haze even as the sound of his voice continued on in his ear. "Someone with the brains and polish to push you to the top of your game. You just remember it doesn't take my blood to be a Ewing."

J.R. blinked his eyes, trying to refocus on his father, but they were closed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't open them.

"Daddy, don't go …" J.R. tried to say but now his mouth wouldn't open.

"I'll be seein' you, Junior," he faintly heard Jock say. "You make me proud, you hear? And remember … oil ain't the only way to fuel a nation."

"Daddy!" J.R. tried to shout but had no voice. He was once again hopelessly lost in the dark mist.

"I'm gone, son," came a distant whisper. "Come outta my shadow … take what I taught you … make your own way … head your own family. Family … is … all … that … matters."

As Jock's voice faded into the darkness, J.R.'s eyes finally opened and he blinked several times, desperate to see his father again. His eyes slowly focused on the objects surrounding him. The dark mist was gone, replaced by a faint yellow light overhead that hurt his eyes. Tall metal towers floated over him, connected to tubes that snaked into his arm. One of the towers held a box with pulsing green numbers. As his eyes adjusted and more items materialized, his brain registered the contents of a hospital room.

His arm ached, so did his head, but he could still hear his father's words so clearly. _Family is all that matters_. Something inside J.R. snapped, making everything so clear, stirring up a thousand thoughts and ideas of everything he had to do. It was time to make some changes, just like his daddy said. Whatever it took, he wouldn't let his father down … never again.

"Love you, Daddy," he whispered hoarsely behind the oxygen mask.

Against his healthy arm, he felt something move then a silken trace of something brushed against his skin. With difficulty, he looked down to see Sue Ellen asleep against the bed, her long, dark hair flowing over his arm.

_Well, I'll be damned,_ he thought with a grin before drifting back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Wild Is The Wind, Part 9

Returning late from lunch, Sue Ellen hurried down the hall towards her office, hoping the productivity of the morning would continue during the meetings scheduled for that afternoon. It was her first day back at work, the second since the tornado hit, and routine was replacing the chaos and upheaval of the past few days. The trauma of the storm was fading just as surely as her cuts and bruises were.

Having John Ross with her had made such a difference. It was amazing how one boy could fill her big, empty house. Just thinking about him made her smile. He was also the reason she was late getting back. They had just had lunch together at the hospital after he visited his father.

According to John Ross, J.R. still had headaches from the concussion and a sling temporarily protected his injured arm, but he was feeling better. Sue Ellen felt a pang of guilt that she hadn't visited J.R. herself but waiting for John Ross seemed more appropriate. It was more than just the chance of running into Cally that kept her away. Seeing J.R. again was going to be difficult. What they had shared -- both before and after the tornado -- was still so intense.

They had said goodbye, even called a truce to the hate and revenge. Yet during that moment in his bedroom, they had been so close to making love it was terrifying. If the circumstances had been different … damn it, she angrily thought, snapping herself away from the "what if" scenario. Her inability to resist him was inexcusable and it didn't help that she had let her guard down again later that night by falling asleep next to his hospital bed. At least he didn't know about that. There was no telling what he would do or say if he knew she had been there.

Approaching the glass door of her office suite, Sue Ellen consciously shifted her mind back to business. J.R. would have to wait until later, when she had more time and the energy to think about him. That thought made her reluctantly smile. Would she ever be free of that man?

"Did you have a nice lunch, Mrs. Ewing?" Her young, dark-haired secretary cheerfully asked from behind her desk.

"I did, Kelly, thank you," Sue Ellen replied as she headed to her office door. "Has Mr. Lockwood arrived for our meeting?"

"No, ma'am, not yet. However, I do have a message for you from Mrs. Farlow." Hearing Miss Ellie's name made Sue Ellen stop and look back at the young woman. "She asked if you would call her as soon as you can. Seems Mr. Ewing checked himself out of the hospital and no one knows where he is."

"He was there a little over an hour ago," Sue Ellen remarked to herself, momentarily caught off guard by the news. She looked back at Kelly. "I'll call Miss Ellie right now. And please send Mr. Lockwood in as soon as he arrives."

Wanting to contact Miss Ellie before the meeting with Don started, Sue Ellen hurried into her office but abruptly stopped as soon as she opened the door. The long, relaxed figure of J.R. was stretched out on her couch, his cowboy hat pulled down over his eyes. When he didn't stir, she guessed he was asleep.

Sue Ellen looked back at Kelly and gestured towards J.R. When Kelly saw what her boss was pointing at, her eyes flew open in surprise and she shrugged. "I had no idea he was here, Mrs. Ewing."

"That's okay, Kelly," Sue Ellen said with a smile, both relieved he was safe and unfazed by yet another of his seemingly underhanded moves. "Please call Miss Ellie for me. Tell her he's here and that I'll call just as soon as I can."

"Yes, ma'am," Kelly replied as she picked up the phone.

Sue Ellen turned from her secretary and closed the door then warily surveyed her uninvited guest. Just as she suspected, the familiar, deep rhythmic pattern of his breathing confirmed J.R. was sleeping.

The apprehension at seeing him again was gone, replaced by amusement at the situation. The last place she ever expected to find him was asleep on her office couch.

"J.R.?" She softly called out. Still he didn't stir and she walked closer to the couch. "J.R.?" She called out again.

"What?" He replied from underneath his hat, his voice sounding both tired and irritated.

Still amused, Sue Ellen ventured closer. "Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?"

J.R. reached up to readjust his hat so he could look at her. "I've had my fill of that whitewashed prison so I checked myself out."

"Then what are you doing here? And how on earth did you slip past my secretary?"

"Ah, yes … that pretty little watch dog of yours out there. I just waited 'til she took a walk down the hall then came on in." He put his hand behind his head, making it seem as if it was now his couch instead of hers. "You really should lock your doors, darlin'. No tellin' who might walk in."

"I'll keep that in mind," she coolly replied, remaining aloof to his obvious bait.

J.R. smiled and looked around her office. "Nice place you got here. Much more peaceful than that damn hospital where everyone was always yappin' at me."

"Well don't get too comfortable. You're not staying."

"I'm stayin' 'til we get a chance to talk." The humor faded from his expression. "Why didn't you come up to my room while John Ross was visitin' a little while ago?"

She struggled to find the right words. "It didn't seem … appropriate."

"Appropriate? Hell, honey … after what we've been through, you're the only one who deserved to be there, besides John Ross." He softened. "You're the only one I wanted there."

"It would have complicated things, J.R. Cally was understandably upset when they pulled you out of that storm cellar. Having her bridegroom bleeding and unconscious was not what she had planned for her wedding day."

"I don't want to talk about Cally … I wanna talk about you."

"We need to talk about getting you back to the hospital."

"Why, so you can make up more excuses not to see me?" She fell silent, having no answer for that. "At least you were there with me that first night."

So he knew, just as she feared he might, but Sue Ellen feigned innocence. "What do you mean?"

"I know you were sleepin' at my side, honey. I just wish I hadn't been so drugged up so I could've pulled you up in that bed with me. No doubt I would've slept better with you there. I've been havin' the damndest dreams."

Sue Ellen nodded. "Me, too."

The softening of her tone was too tempting to resist and J.R. smiled as he patted the couch. "Come on over here and tell me about it."

Annoyed by the overly friendly request, Sue Ellen glared down at him as she folded her arms across her chest, posing in her most defensive stance. "J.R., if you're not going back to the hospital then you need to go home. Miss Ellie has already called here, wondering where you are. You probably have both her and Cally worried sick."

He grimaced as if in pain at that news. "The last thing I want is those two ol' mother hens smotherin' me." Then he looked back up at Sue Ellen and smiled. "Funny how Mamma knew right where to find me, though."

"Oh, yes … it's hysterical. Now just get yourself out of here and home to them."

"There is no way in hell I'm goin' anywhere near them, especially Cally." He stubbornly replied. "I'm tellin' you, that girl won't let me be! For the past few days, she's been hoverin' over me like I was on my deathbed."

"It's called kindness and compassion, J.R. Two things a wife is supposed to give her husband. It's quite possible she loves you, you know."

"Love," he remarked wistfully. "That's a word I've been thinkin' about a lot the past few days."

"Well then, there might be hope for you yet," she teased.

J.R. smiled at her in a way that made her nervous. "There surely is."

His eyes raked down her body bit by bit, taking in every curve and line of her figure. Looking at her was something he never tired of. Yet no matter how many times he had done it in the past, his penetrating gaze now made Sue Ellen shift uncomfortably, knowing only too well he was mentally removing everything she had on.

"You need to go home and discuss that with Cally."

Startled back from his visual appreciation of her, J.R.'s expression fell into a confused frown as he closely observed her for a moment. "Why do you keep pushin' me off on Cally?"

"Because she's your wife!" She knew instantly that yelling at him wouldn't accomplish anything and Sue Ellen reined in her temper. "Look, I've tried to be polite, J.R.," she added, the irritated tone in her voice clearly underscoring her impatience. "How about if I just call security and have you escorted out of here?"

"There's no need to get testy, darlin'," J.R. replied with a grin she found even more infuriating. But instead of losing her temper again, Sue Ellen took a deliberately slow breath and softened her tone.

"J.R., I have a meeting in a few minutes and it's not going to happen with you stretched out on my couch."

His playful smile finally faded. "You meetin' with that Lockwood fella you brought to the house?"

"That's none of your business."

J.R. finally relented. "Well, then … seein' you with him is bound to make me feel even worse than I do right now so I'll be leavin'." He swung his legs over the edge of the couch but winced with pain when he sat up, not only from the sudden headache caused by the swift motion but also from the way the sling cradling his injured arm had been pulled too tight.

The way he flinched quickly disintegrated Sue Ellen's irritation and she went over to kneel down next to him. He waved her off.

"I'm fine … I'm fine," he lied.

After a brief pause to let the pain subside, he removed his hat and sat it on the couch next to him. He looked pale now the hat wasn't shielding him and a large white bandaged covered most of his forehead, reminding Sue Ellen of how injured he truly was. The irritating bravado he had been giving her had all been an act.

"If I leave," J.R. finally said, his voice quiet and strained, "will you promise to meet me later? I really do need to talk to you."

Sue Ellen nodded. "I will."

J.R. tried to stand but realized he didn't have enough strength left to do it on his own. He looked over at her and smiled. "Could you maybe help me stand up, too?"

"Of course." She returned the smile, amused by his uncharacteristic request for help.

Getting to her feet, Sue Ellen reached down to take hold of his healthy arm. With the extra help, J.R. stood up but the momentum and her being slightly off-balance brought them fully against each other.

"You all right?" Sue Ellen asked unsteadily, the astonishment of suddenly being so close to him overruled by concern at how pale he was.

J.R. simply nodded, trying to catch his breath after the pain and subsequent energy drain it had taken to stand. Sue Ellen could feel him trembling and continued to steady him, allowing him to rest more fully against her, knowing he was incapable of faking this reaction.

The gesture was appreciated for more than the much-need support. Feeling her so close reminded J.R. why he left the hospital, just so he could see her … be with her … touch her.

"You shouldn't have left the hospital," she gently scolded as if reading his mind.

"You're right," he weakly replied, no longer having the energy to be obstinate. "But I did it so I could see you."

Sue Ellen didn't respond, didn't even move, and J.R. was grateful. It gave him time to look at her, take in everything about her. And the more he saw, the more captivated he became. He cautiously lifted his free hand to stroke her face as he closely examined the nearly healed-over scratches that slightly marred her beauty.

"You all right?" He asked, a gentle, deep echo of the question she had asked him only moments ago.

"Yes," she whispered.

"The tornado didn't leave any other damage on you, did it?"

"No."

"Good."

J.R. continued to stroke her skin with his thumb, gradually letting it drift down under her chin. When he tilted her head up, Sue Ellen knew he was going to kiss her. One kiss would be dangerous, reopening doors of so much promise that always led to heartbreak. Yet for all the reasons it was wrong to be so close to him, she found herself unable to move, inexplicably drawn in by the pale blue shade of his eyes that could be so cold yet now burned so hot.

His gaze shifted down to her mouth. J.R. slowly lowered his head but stopped just as his lips brushed hers, wanting any further contact to be from her. And for a brief moment he could see Sue Ellen hesitating before her hand slid up his chest and curled around his neck, bringing him down against her and completing the connection.

They kissed softly at first, then again and once more, each time increasing the level of intensity that slowly drew them more deeply into each other. For good or bad, what started between them that day in front of his bedroom mirror was finally being fulfilled, enhanced by the long-repressed electricity that always illuminated any moment they came in physical contact.

Somewhere through the mist that now clouded her mind, Sue Ellen knew she was in over her head. She was kissing her ex-husband in the middle of her office and Don would be walking in at any moment. But when she opened her mouth to protest, it simply gave J.R. complete access, allowing him to possessively claim her mouth and making any other thoughts of protest vanish as need overwhelmed logic.

No matter how they had denied it during the past few bitter months, their bodies remembered the desire they generated in each other. It was a hunger sparked so long ago, the moment they first met. It had outlasted anything they had done to ruin it. And here it was again, mocking the foolishness of their resistance.

As J.R. shifted to run his hand down her side, over her hip, a jolt of desire ripped through Sue Ellen that startled her, making her pull away although she remained against him, unable to make her legs to move.

They were both breathing fast and uneven, in synch in a way that was so achingly intimate and familiar. She looked up into J.R.'s face, expecting to find triumphant sarcasm in his expression at the seemingly easy seduction he had just accomplished. Instead she saw he was simply as astonished as she was by their reaction to each other.

Even though J.R. longed to pull her against him, seduce her until she finally gave in, he dropped his hand away in an uncharacteristically chivalrous move and silently granted her release. Yet when she didn't push away, his resistance was short-lived and he leaned forward to reclaim her mouth once again.

"No, J.R. … don't." She breathlessly whispered as she placed two fingers against his lips, the flimsy barrier being the only defense she had at the moment.

His words came in an unsteady rush as he kissed her fingertips. "Don't what, honey? Don't love you? Because I can't. Not anymore." The raw, emotional demand made Sue Ellen look down, recoil from him. It was not the reaction J.R. wanted from her. "I'm sorry," he softly said, trying to gentle all the wild emotions he suddenly wanted to share with her. As if surrendering, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "It's just that after nearly losin' you … I know how much I need you now."

Sue Ellen sighed wearily. "You make it sounds so simple … like we can just pick up where we left off."

He looked down at her again. "We can, darlin'. It will be different this time, I promise."

She recoiled once again. "That's a promise you've made so many times, J.R. What about Kimberly? And Nick? And Cally? And all the others?" He had no answer. "Too much has happened. I'll never trust you again."

He lifted his hand to stroke her cheek once more. "Give me a chance, Sue Ellen. I know I don't deserve it, but that tornado … it kicked my ass, made me see things so differently. There is no way I can live without you."

Tears unexpectedly welled up in her eyes. "You're going to have to. You've got to let me go."

The office door suddenly swung open, startling them both. Don entered but stopped when he saw Sue Ellen cradled against her ex-husband's chest.

"Sue Ellen?" Don said her name as both a question and accusation.

Sue Ellen looked over at Don and tried to smile as she acknowledged him. "Don. J.R. left the hospital too soon … he's still a little weak." She looked back at J.R. "I was the only thing available to keep him from falling down."

J.R. took a step backwards, reluctantly disengaging from both her support and warmth. "Thank you."

His response was eerily quiet and polite, making Sue Ellen sense his resentment at both her rejection and Don's sudden appearance. Surprisingly, it bothered her, making her reach over and place her hand on his arm held captive by the sling.

"We'll talk later, J.R. … I promise," she softly said. Then hoping to boost his mood, she playfully winked at him. "Call Kelly and make an appointment."

J.R. half-heartedly grinned, knowing she was teasing him once more. "Careful, darlin'," he replied as he reached down to retrieve his hat and placed it on a low, menacing angle over his eyes. "You're still tryin' to run my own playbook against me but I've got moves left you don't know about."

He looked over at her and for a split second they communicated more to each other than words ever could … relief, attraction, forgiveness, even a mutual understanding of how their formerly harsh relationship was changing for the better.

Sue Ellen took hold of his healthy arm and guided him to the door. "I'm glad to see you back on your feet. But please … take it easy."

"I will," he replied then broke away from her as they neared the door and Don. J.R. summoned what little strength he had left to stand tall as they approached, making it so he towered over the Englishman.

"I hear I owe you my thanks for helpin' to get us out of that storm cellar the other day," J.R. said as he looked down at Don.

"No thanks needed," Don replied with a relaxed, confident smile. "Just glad to see you're recovering."

"Huh!" Came the mocking bark of J.R.'s condescending, contemptuous half-laugh he used when irritated. "What were you doin' at my weddin', anyway? You got somethin' goin' on with my wife?"

"J.R.!" Sue Ellen angrily exclaimed, disappointed that his usual arrogance had reappeared so quickly.

"Don't you mean your ex-wife?" Don interjected as J.R. continued to stare down at him.

Sue Ellen quickly moved to take hold of J.R.'s arm again, deliberately placing herself between the two men then guided J.R. out the door. She looked over at her secretary for help. "Kelly, would you please see Mr. Ewing downstairs? And make sure he gets into a cab that will take him to Southfork?"

Seeing the predicament her boss was in, Kelly rushed to her side. "Of course, Mrs. Ewing." Then she looked up at J.R. "Mr. Ewing?"

"Thank you, _Mrs. Ewing_," J.R. echoed back at Sue Ellen, adding an extra amount of possessiveness to Sue Ellen's formal title for the benefit of Don. Then he looked down at Kelly and gave her his most charming smile. "C'mon, honey … let's you and me take a stroll around this place."

Sue Ellen watched until the two were out of sight before she turned back to Don.

"May I ask what all that was about?" He inquired.

Sue Ellen sighed heavily as she walked back into the office then closed the door, leaning back against it for support. "You can if you will give me some time to recover before I answer."

Don thought about her request then smiled and nodded, granting her request, factoring in how much she had been through the past few days.

"How 'bout if we take our meeting outside? A spot of fresh air might do us both some good."

With no typically possessive masculine tirade at what he had just seen, Sue Ellen gained an even deeper appreciation for the charming man before her.

"Let's go." She said with a smile.


	10. Chapter 10

Wild Is The Wind, Part 10

Despite his earlier protests, J.R. got in the cab in front of Sue Ellen's office and allowed it to take him home. It was a long ride and added to the exhaustion of leaving the hospital early plus the encounter with his ex-wife. But as cab pulled into the Southfork driveway, all other thoughts were pushed from J.R.'s mind. The tornado had battered the house but as it stood out from the debris surrounding it, making it look more beautiful than ever. He smiled. It was good to be home.

As he exited the cab, despite the swarm of construction workers around the place, no one was there to meet him and he was grateful. All he wanted was to somehow drag himself up the stairs and into his bed.

When J.R. stepped into the kitchen, he was greeted by Ellie and Cally and they made their usual fuss over him. _How did he feel? Where had he been? Why had he left the hospital? Why didn't he call?_ But he held them off, promising to answer their questions if they would help him upstairs.

The last thing he remembered was it being light outside when they helped him into bed and gave him a pain pill. It must have knocked him out because the room was now dark and quiet.

The clock on his bedside table read 4:30 a.m. He'd been asleep nearly 12 hours. From the light of the clock, J.R. could see a glass of water and the bottle of pain pills were in reach but even though his head and shoulder ached, he resisted taking another pill. So much had happened and he had already been asleep for so long. All he wanted now was to figure everything out and get his life back on track. That would require planning, the kind that left little time for sleep and the fuzzy-headedness the pain pills left behind.

A soft, sleepy moan unexpectedly came at his side and J.R. glanced down at the sweet-faced woman asleep next to him. Woman, hell … Cally was still just a girl. A girl he knew so little about. Yet if the tornado hadn't struck, she would be his wife. How had simply wanting a meaningless roll in the hay with the girl spiraled so far out of control?

The attraction he had felt for Cally was gone. It had cooled in Haleyville, cooled the moment she had finally been seduced. Just like so many others. Now the heat of that moment had been replaced with a realistic apathy and yes, even some fear. They were years apart and had so little in common yet she was pregnant with his child.

He had to marry her even though he didn't love her. He didn't want to do it but there was no choice. He would do it for the baby. Perhaps that was his retribution for so ruthlessly taking advantage of the girl. But never again would he turn his back on a child. Doing so with John Ross nearly cost him his soul.

He would also never again be so cold and unfeeling to his baby's mother. He would somehow make the best of it with Cally and give her a chance. The chance he had never given Sue Ellen while she was pregnant … or at any other time while they were together.

He had pushed Sue Ellen away. Threatened her with the sanitarium for her drinking. Made hollow promises to other women behind her back that they would be the next Mrs. Ewing. It had even reached the point of cruelty with two women he ironically now despised … Mandy Winger and Kimberly Cryder. Empty promises for them, anger and contempt for Sue Ellen, all for a middle-age insanity he had mistaken for love with the first and a move on a company he thought would get Ewing Oil back for the other. What a colossal waste of time and energy.

J.R. tightly closed his eyes, hoping to quell the sudden pangs of regret that made his head hurt. The only thing it did was to sharpen the finality of the words Sue Ellen had said to him at her office earlier that afternoon … _"Too much has happened … I'll never trust you again. … You've got to let me go."_

"Damn it," he softly cursed.

He had given Sue Ellen so many reasons to hate him. Yet at that moment, he would give every drop of oil he owned just to have her sleeping at his side.

That thought was unfair to Cally and he knew it. As naïve as she was, she certainly wasn't responsible for the situation. No. The blame for that rested solely on him even though owning up to it did nothing to stop the need for the woman he truly wanted who was now so far out of reach.

J.R. gently disengaged himself from Cally's embrace then rolled away and clutched his pillow. He had to forget about Sue Ellen. He had to find a way to live with a girl he felt nothing for. Find a way to show her he at least cared about her. But even as he tried to think of ways to do that, his mind betrayed him, wandering back to thoughts of earlier that afternoon. The way it felt to kiss Sue Ellen again. The way her body molded so perfectly to his. The problem wouldn't be finding a way to live with Cally. It would be finding a way to live without Sue Ellen.

Frustrated and angry at that realization, J.R. flung the covers aside. He was sorely tempted to reach for the pain pills and the unconscious reprieve they offered. Instead, he reached for his robe. Getting some fresh air to clear his mind seemed more appealing.

As he silently padded though the dark, quiet house, his thoughts strayed to Sue Ellen once more. She was so beautiful but it was so much more than that. She was intelligent … sophisticated … caring and nurturing in the way she looked out for their son. Then there was that killer business instinct she had only recently discovered that had torpedoed him more than once. He softly laughed. She was a worthy opponent. A worthy opponent with great legs.

Yes, Sue Ellen was a remarkable woman. In a league by herself. He could still vividly see her from earlier that day, remembered how her long, dark hair framed her big, beautiful eyes … eyes that had always enticed and beguiled him. He loved the way they snapped and danced whether she was arguing with him or surrendering in his arms. Why had it taken nearly losing her in a tornado to finally make him see all that?

J.R. gingerly rubbed his head, wishing the pain would go away. Wishing the memories would go away. He had always had a low tolerance for stupidity and never more so than at that moment, realizing he was just about the stupidest person he knew.

Sue Ellen had been his all those years, had shared his life and his bed in a way no other woman had. Yet he had never even attempted to explore all the delicious depths hidden just below her surface.

Pushing her away seemed so much easier at the time. He had convinced himself long before he met her that he didn't need anyone, especially not a woman. When she had proved him wrong, proved that she was indeed all that he needed, it had frightened him to feel that way. For all the wrong reasons, it was why he had gone from woman to woman, from one meaningless tryst to another, being openly and appallingly unfaithful to Sue Ellen. Always seeking the woman that would make him forget her … never finding the woman that could even compare to her. Now all he had left was this bleak loneliness in a house full of people and the prospect of a loveless marriage.

Sliding the kitchen door open, J.R. went out onto the patio, into the dark, moonless night and sat down in one of the table chairs. The fresh air made little difference. Revelations and regrets now suffocated him because no matter which way he thought about it, he could find no adequate explanation for the way he had mistreated Sue Ellen. The sad part was there was no way to make it up to her. She had been right earlier. In order to make their lives work now, he would have to let her go.

That realization hurt like hell, hurt much worse than his headache, but for both Sue Ellen's sake and the sake of the unborn child Cally was carrying, he would do it.

There was no other way around it.


	11. Chapter 11

Wild Is The Wind, Part 11

After having restlessly walked the ranch grounds for several hours, J.R. now stood at the paddock fence in front of the house, facing the road, his good arm folded across the top rail, his chin resting on his hand. Deep in thought, the only thing that brought him back was a soft touch that brushed against his shoulder.

"Can't you sleep, J.R.?"

He turned to see Miss Ellie looking up at him. "No ma'am. What are you doin' out here?"

She smiled. "Just looking over the ranch. Even with the damage from the tornado, this time of day still makes it all look so beautiful."

J.R. looked out and finally noticed the Southfork sky was displaying the colors of dawn, the dark night fading into shades of purple and blue. He stretched then winced and rubbed his shoulder.

"This night sure has flown by."

Miss Ellie's smile melted into a look of concern. "Is your shoulder bothering you?"

"Yes … some."

"Then let's get you into the house. The cool breeze out here can't be helping it any."

"No, ma'am, I'm alright. It actually feels kinda good bein' out here." He looked out across the land again. "How bad off did the tornado leave the ranch, Mamma?"

There was no way to sugarcoat it. Within a few minutes, the sun would reveal all the damage, anyway. "It's pretty bad, J.R. In some places, it will never be the same again." She smiled and patted his arm. "But we are all safe. And lady luck was smiling down on you and Sue Ellen that day. That's all that matters."

"Yes." J.R. nodded then motioned with his thumb to the house behind them. "Plus the house is still standin'. I don't know how it survived but it surely was a beautiful sight to see, comin' up the driveway yesterday."

"I've been wondering if maybe your Daddy had something to do with that. It's nice to think of him as our guardian angel."

They both laughed. As Ellie turned back to the land she loved, J.R. took the opportunity to look at her, really look at her, for the first time in years. She was still such a beautiful lady. Strong … independent … gracious … tough as steel at times. It was no wonder she had inspired such undying love and loyalty in his father.

"It's funny you should mention Daddy, Mamma." He said. "I've been standin' here thinkin' about him myself. Do you ever think about him anymore?"

Miss Ellie looked up at her oldest son, surprised by the question. "Of course, I do. He's never far from my thoughts."

"Even with Clayton bein' around?"

The question was an honest one and hadn't come from J.R.'s usually combative attitude about his stepfather. Ellie acknowledged that with a smile.

"What I feel about Clayton and your daddy are two different things."

"Yes, ma'am." J.R. nodded, reminded of the two women that had filled his thoughts for the past few hours. "I can understand that."

"What made you ask about Jock, J.R.?"

He sheepishly grinned and looked away. "You'll probably think it's silly."

"Try me," she said, amused by the reminder of the shy little boy he used to be, the one who would cling to her skirts.

"I had a dream about him while I was in the hospital, Mamma," J.R. quietly replied. "It was so real … like I was really talkin' to him again."

"Considering what happened to you, perhaps you were. Heaven might be a lot closer than we think."

J.R. simply nodded. "Maybe so. It sure was a wake-up call. Made me think I need to start takin' an inventory of my life and make some changes."

"Hmmm," Ellie murmured thoughtfully, knowing what he had been through was bound to make him reflective. "And what have you decided so far?"

"That I have made one hell of a mess!" He said with a chuckle then became reflective again. "I don't know. Guess maybe I'm just overwhelmed at bein' home … seein' Southfork all torn up. That tornado twisted everything all around."

"Yes, it did. For you more than anyone." Ellie was unaccustomed to the uncertainty in her son's demeanor but she welcomed it just the same and once again patted his arm reassuringly. "I was so scared when they pulled you out of that storm cellar. Wasn't sure you were going to pull through. But look at you … you're on the mend. And we'll make Southfork right again, J.R. We've survived worse than this."

J.R. half-heartedly smiled at her. "I've always loved your optimism, Mamma."

A few moments of comfortable silence passed between them before Ellie sensed there was more J.R. wanted to tell her. Plus she found herself still curious about his dream about Jock.

"Would you mind telling me what else your daddy had to say in the dream?"

After hesitating, J.R. started talking again. "He said that losin' Ewing Oil wasn't as bad as I thought it was." J.R. then looked over at her with an intensity that was slightly startling. "Daddy isn't in Ewing Oil anymore, Mamma. He's livin' in what he taught me … what I'll teach John Ross. But why couldn't I see that instead of wastin' so much time tryin' to keep it goin' for his sake? Then I lost it anyway. And my family."

"Do you mean Sue Ellen?" Ellie asked gently.

J.R. paused for a moment then nodded. "Yes. Sacrificin' her for West Star was one of the dumbest things I've ever done."

Ellie was both amazed and overjoyed by what she was hearing. Perhaps her oldest son was finally growing up, becoming the man his father had always wanted him to be. She gently squeezed J.R.'s arm and smiled up at him.

"It pleases me to hear you talk like that. And I know it would please your daddy, too." She smiled. "You're even sounding a little like him."

J.R. closed his eyes, grateful for the words he had longed to hear all his life even though they now scared the hell out of him. "Oh, Mamma … those are awful big boots to fill."

The apprehension in his voice was not lost on Ellie. "I know. But living his legacy is much better than living in his shadow. And you just took one hell of a big step towards doing just that."

J.R. looked down at his mother again, knowing what he had to say next would be difficult but it had to be done.

"And I've gotta keep goin', Mamma. There are some things I gotta do now and the only way to get them done is to set out on my own."

"Set out on your own? What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm thinkin' about startin' my own company again. And maybe tryin' to be what Daddy was for my own family." He paused, trying to find the right words. "But the only way I know how to do that is to move off Southfork." Ellie swallowed hard and looked away, obviously hurt, and J.R. attempted to finish his explanation before he lost his nerve. "This house … it's yours and Clayton's now, Mamma. Him bein' here has been eatin' at me since the day he moved in. But one thing I won't deny any more is that he makes you happy. Daddy would surely understand that 'cause I know he wouldn't want you to be alone. Besides, I know Clayton loves you."

That made Ellie look back up at J.R. She was touched by her son's honest statement and the pain in her eyes was now replaced by understanding. As much as she wanted to cling to her son and keep him at Southfork, she knew she had to let him go.

"Where will you go, J.R.?"

He chuckled and pointed out across the front paddock to the ranch just beyond. "Ol' Jackson Stratton across the road has been makin' noise about sellin' out. With the tornado tearin' up his property, this just might be the time to make him an offer."

Ellie thought about it then giggled. "That old coot. Your daddy had his eye on that property for years ... wanted to turn it into a stud farm. But he never could get Jackson to budge."

"Then its high time it became Ewing property, don'cha think?"

She grinned at him. "Yes, I do. What a lovely idea!" They both stood in silence for a moment, looking out across the property once more. Then Ellie gently added, "I hate to see you go, J.R. … but I respect your decision."

That had been easier than he thought and J.R. smiled down at her. "Thank you, Mamma."

"I'm just glad you'll only be across the road." Ellie added.

"I don't think I could ever be too far off Southfork land. I don't want John Ross to be, either." J.R. looked out across the property once more and for the first time, experienced a bolt of pride at the thought of owning his own land. Now he just needed the lady to share it with. "There was somethin' else Daddy told me in that dream. He told me I needed to find one lady to settle down with, like he did with you."

Ellie hesitated before asking the question she already knew the answer to. "Think that lady might be Cally?"

"No. I don't love her, Mamma … don't think I ever will. But I'll take care of her and the baby she's carryin'. There is no other way around that."

Ellie gripped his arm tightly. "Junior," she gently continued, using the name Jock had so often called him, "even though it might be difficult, when you start making choices like that, things always have a way of working out for the best." Ellie thought back to her conversation with Sue Ellen at the hospital the night of the tornado. "Whether things work out with Cally or not, Sue Ellen just might appreciate this change in you, too."

J.R. looked down at his mother, realizing she understood as well as he did that the lady he needed was Sue Ellen. "Until the day the tornado hit, Mamma, things had been so awful between Sue Ellen and me. Maybe gettin' hit upside the head the way I was …" He paused then quietly continued. "Maybe comin' so close to losin' her was the best thing that ever happened to me. 'Cause now I know I have so much to make up to that woman. Even if she isn't my wife, I hope someday I'll get the chance to do just that."

"I think you will. Your daddy and I always found a way."

"That man really loved you, Mamma."

Tears welled up in Ellie's eyes. "And I loved him, J.R. ... I still do. Your time will come." There was nothing more to be said about it. Ellie simply looked up at her son and smiled. "Say, when you go to talk to Jackson about the property, may I come with you?"

J.R. grinned. "Yes, ma'am, I'd love your company. Besides, I always did figure he was sweet on you. Maybe you can charm him into sellin' at a lower price."


	12. Chapter 12

Wild Is The Wind, Part 12

Across town in a high-end section of Dallas, Sue Ellen sat at the edge of the pool behind her mansion. Her feet dangled in water causing ripples to form and radiate out, making the colors of dawn dance in the reflection. It was beautiful. Fascinating. The liquid surface seemed to cover deep mysteries beneath, reminding her of the elusive answers that had made it difficult to sleep.

Recollections of the time spent the day before with both J.R. and Don had left her with so many questions. She could still recall the tingle on her lips from kissing J.R. On the other hand, Don had taken her away from the office and walked with her through downtown Dallas and Fair Park. He had made her laugh, made her forget about the tornado and all that had happened before and afterward. He had also made her forget about J.R.

As unexpected as it was, she acknowledged that her attraction to Don was deepening. He was the antithesis to J.R. … cultured, artistic, confidant yet self-deprecating. He also had the sweetest smile and sense of humor. Plus her past didn't matter to him. She had nothing to hide from him. He had read all the details of her life while using her diaries for the movie script. None of it seemed to matter. Neither did her reasons for making the movie.

The movie. The great epic of her life with J.R. How ironic that a week ago the movie had consumed her time and thoughts; now it was the most troubling thing in her life. It had started out as the ultimate weapon, the way to both keep J.R. at bay and blackmail him if needed. But she could now see the project had also magnified her own personal demons. Demons she could no longer tolerate.

If there was a reason to be grateful for the tornado, that was it. It had adjusted her way of thinking, liberated her from the hatred, cooled the driving need for revenge against J.R. It had also trivialized things like the movie while substantially increasing the value of others, John Ross being the most important of all.

Looking back on the past year, she realized the fine line she had walked between hate and love. Hating J.R. to the point of obsession, loving John Ross yet ignoring him. What truly frightened her about that was history was repeating itself. Both she and J.R. had suffered from being neglected and ignored by their parents in one way or another. It had played a big part in the damaged adults they had become. That fate was unacceptable for John Ross. He deserved better than that.

Sue Ellen silently vowed that changes would be made for the sake of her son and somehow she would find the way to drag J.R. along with her. From now on, John Ross would be their main focus instead of just another reason to fight.

That raised more questions, though. Would J.R.'s reconciliatory attitude since the storm last? If not, was she capable of being civil to the bastard? She sighed. If only she could overcome the thing she truly despised J.R. for.

As tragic and terrifying as losing Nicholas Pearce was, Sue Ellen knew in her heart it had been an accident. J.R. was no more to blame for Nicholas's death than she was. But instead of mourning Nicholas, she had allowed herself to evolve into someone she didn't like … an angry, vengeful, mean-spirited murderer. The bullets she fired at J.R. had missed but how did that matter when the intent to kill him was so coldly rooted in her heart? Sue Ellen shuddered. Trying to kill J.R. and plot his demise certainly hadn't brought Nicholas back.

It was all such a waste of time and energy.

Like John Ross, so much of her time with Nicholas had been spent plotting against J.R. instead of enjoying being with him. Why couldn't she just forget about J.R. and get on with her life? Was she fated to forever live in this continuous love/hate cycle that had ruled her attraction to him since their first meeting all those many years ago?

No. It had to stop. Now. No matter what it took, it would end for the sake of John Ross.

That sudden sense of determination startled her. Had she finally learned her lesson? Was she really ready to deal with J.R. on a rational level? She could see no other acceptable choice. That was the way it had to be. It was too late for Nicholas but perhaps she could at least honor his memory by letting go of the past. Maybe then she could finally give herself to another man. Maybe even to Don.

She wasn't sure John Ross was ready for her to have another man in her life. And upon deeper reflection, she wasn't sure she was, either. But with Don … well, eventually it just might be different with him. She might be different. It was certainly worth exploring. Maybe starting now.

Sue Ellen stood up and walked across the patio to the house. As she entered the kitchen, she went to the phone and dialed the number she had already committed to memory. It was early but she hoped he wouldn't mind. Maybe today truly would be the start of something new. That thought made her smile. For the first time in a very long time, she was looking forward to the possibilities of the future instead of dwelling on the past.

After three rings, the sleepy voice on the other end of the line finally answered.

"Hello?"

"Don … it's Sue Ellen," she said with a grin, finding it difficult to contain her enthusiasm.

"Well … good morning." Don replied groggily.

"I'm sorry to disturb you so early but there is something I need to ask you."

"Name it."

"Do you have any plans for today? If not, I was wondering … would you like to join John Ross and me at the party Miss Ellie is throwing out on Southfork this afternoon?"

Don thought about the request for a moment then smiled. "I would indeed. The lady called last night and invited me, too."

Sue Ellen giggled. "Oh good! Then I'm extra glad I called."

"So am I," he replied rather warmly.

Sue Ellen could feel her face flush. It suddenly felt like she was back in high school, asking a boy to the dance. "Would you like us to pick you up or would you like to meet us there?"

"Hmmm, I have a meeting this afternoon with Bruce Harvey and I'm not sure how long I'll be. How about if I meet you there?"

"Sounds wonderful," she said, her smile growing. "I'll watch for you."

"Please do."

"And Don …" Sue Ellen hesitated then took a breath and continued. "Thank you. I wasn't looking forward to being there by myself."

"Neither was I, luv. See you this afternoon."

The other line clicked off and he was gone but Sue Ellen kept the receiver to her ear. Luv. Had he meant that or was it just a general term of endearment?

Whatever it was, it had set off butterflies in her stomach.


	13. Chapter 13

Wild Is The Wind, Part 13

The morning turned into a beautiful day with the sun crisscrossing through white, puffy clouds in the brilliant blue sky, illuminating Southfork in shadows and light. It was the perfect kind of weather for a party, a complete contrast to the grey, dismissal afternoon when the tornado hit.

Invitations -- both paper and word-of-mouth -- had been sent throughout Braddock County and guests and neighbors had been arriving at the ranch since late morning. When the Ewings threw a party, it was an all day event with arrival and departure times set by the partygoers themselves.

The country music from the band set up on the driveway combined with the indistinguishable chatter of the crowd and drifted up to J.R. who was standing on the balcony, unhappily observing the activities below.

Southfork parties were usually something he looked forward to. It was a chance to dress up, eat good food, get to know the neighbors again, maybe discreetly flirt with a lady or two. Plus the drinking always made the good times even better. He wasn't in the mood for any of that today, though, especially not the drinking. Because of the pain pills, he didn't dare touch any bourbon and that was a shame. A stiff belt or two would no doubt help him get though the day.

If only his attendance wasn't mandatory. He wanted to go back to bed. After the restless early morning along with the dull throb in his head from the concussion and the ache in his shoulder, the party noise was too loud and the sunshine too bright. But he wouldn't disappoint Miss Ellie. Not after everything she had been through the past few days.

J.R. sighed then put on his sunglasses and steeled himself for the inevitable. It couldn't be put off any longer. He would join the party, mingle and smile even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He would be charming and social if only for his mamma. At least he wouldn't have to shake hands a thousand times today. The annoying sling cradling his right arm did have its uses.

Looking out over the crowd one last time, J.R.'s mood brightened when he finally caught sight of what he had been looking for … Sue Ellen and John Ross were walking down the driveway toward the house. Thank God they had finally arrived. The day wouldn't be so bad after all. Then he noticed a man coming up behind Sue Ellen, walking at her side and his mood crashed again. How disappointing. It was the Englishman whose bravado was about 10 inches taller than his actual height.

"Well, wonderful." J.R. muttered then turned to enter the house and walked downstairs.

As he exited the kitchen onto the patio, J.R. was stopped with kind greetings and warm wishes from people who were only vaguely familiar yet who seemed to know all about him, wanting to hear about his health, the new wife, and the state of the oil business. Making his way through the crowd, he caught himself wishing he had just videotaped his responses and flown to Galveston for the day. That was until he caught a glimpse of Sue Ellen.

When she looked over at him, their eyes momentarily locked in recognition and a spark of understanding flashed between them. They both smiled. As they gravitated towards each other, J.R. felt his stomach collapse and his mouth suddenly went dry. God, he was nervous. What would he do? What would he say to her? She looked breathtaking even in jeans and a jacket with her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. She looked liked she was ready to go horseback riding. That thought gave him hope. Perhaps it was the way he could get her alone later. Then do what? Why was it so impossible to think clearly? Early that morning, he had promised himself he would let her go, make Cally and the baby his main concern. Now looking at Sue Ellen, he couldn't remember the last time he wanted a woman so badly. If only he could take her upstairs to the bedroom they once shared and show her just how much.

"J.R.!" Came the grating sound of Cally's call, destroying the moment he was locked in, making Sue Ellen look away. The young girl bounced over to his side and took hold of his healthy arm. "I was wonderin' if you'd make it down for the party." She reached up and kissed his cheek.

"'Course I'm here, darlin'," he replied nonchalantly. "Wouldn't wanna miss a Southfork party."

"Well, I'm glad," Cally added. "People have been askin' about ya all day. How ya feelin'?"

"Fine … just fine," he lied as he gently tried to disengage himself from her embrace and continue toward Sue Ellen and John Ross. "Sue Ellen and John Ross just arrived." He pointed them out to her. "I'm on my way over to greet them."

"Oh," Cally glumly replied when she saw Sue Ellen, her enthusiasm thoroughly doused. "Then I'll go with ya."

They had almost reached Sue Ellen when John Ross spotted his father.

"Dad!" He happily called out as he ran into his father's one-armed embrace.

"Howdy, son!' J.R. grinned and patted John Ross on the back.

"How you feeling?" The boy asked.

"I'm feelin' just fine now you're here." He looked over at Sue Ellen. "I surely am glad to see you."

Without warning, J.R. removed his hat and leaned over to kiss Sue Ellen on the cheek. Being so close to her, if only for a moment, gave him a much-needed burst of energy.

Startled at both his waywardness and the unexpected tingle of excitement it had caused, Sue Ellen jumped back a little to look at J.R. like he had lost his mind.

"J.R.?" She said both as a reprimand and a question then turned to the man at her side. "You remember Don Lockwood?" It was a redundant question and Sue Ellen knew it but she couldn't think of anything better to say.

J.R. donned his hat once more, bringing it down over his eyes as he glared down at the man. "'Course. How could I forget Mr. Lockwood?"

"And Don," Sue Ellen interjected, looking over at her date, trying her best to smile, "did you have the opportunity to meet J.R.'s new wife, Cally, the day of the wedding?"

Don smiled at the pretty young blonde and reached out his hand. "Don't think I had the pleasure with all that happened."

"No, sir … nice to meet'cha," Cally replied with a half-hearted grin as she shook the man's hand, keenly aware of the lady standing next to her. Even after getting to know Sue Ellen on a friendly basis, she still felt funny standing next to her, like the whole crowd was comparing the two Mrs. Ewings and she was coming up short.

"Dad, when can I come back home?" John Ross asked, wanting his father's attention again.

"Well, thanks a lot!" Sue Ellen teased him with a laugh.

"Naw, that's not what I meant," he grinned back at his mother. "I just miss the ranch and Dad."

"I know you do," she said still smiling and lightly touched the tip of his nose.

"Won't be long now, son, I promise," J.R. added. "Maybe a couple more days. Your grandma and I and Uncle Bobby discussed it just this morning at breakfast. You and Christopher will be comin' home before you know it."

"Good!" John Ross happily exclaimed. "Bet that will make Christopher happy, too. He said he's getting sick of eating chinese food with his Uncle Cliff."

J.R. laughed. "Can't say as I blame him."

"With the ranch on the mend, any plans to reset the date for your wedding?" Don asked Cally, hoping to put the girl at ease, sensing they were both in the same predicament. He felt as uncomfortable for her as he did for himself at the moment. Why had he even agreed to come to this damn party?

"Well, when we do," J.R. answered for her in an overly sweet tone, "you'll be the first to get an invitation."

The two men exchanged hard looks, summing each other up, neither liking what they saw. Unnoticed, John Ross was doing the same thing. He wasn't pleased how things were turning out. Instead of having his parents to himself today like he hoped, he now had to share them with both Don and Cally. He rolled his eyes and wondered if Christopher was around instead. At least he could have some fun with him.

"Mom, can I go find Christopher?" John Ross asked.

"Sure!" She said with a smile. "Just be careful out on the ranch and stay out of the areas they are working on."

"Oh, Mamma." John Ross whined, feeling like she was treating him like a little kid again.

"Do as she says, boy," J.R. said, backing her up. "Stick close to the party and the house."

"Yes, sir." John Ross reluctantly agreed then ran off.

After several long moments of awkward silence, J.R. and Sue Ellen both spoke at the same time.

"Well …"

That was followed by several more moments of silence before Sue Ellen turned to Don. "How 'bout if I introduce you to some of the neighbors and we get something to eat?"

Don smiled at her gratefully. "Lovely. Lead on, luv."

Hearing that endearment, J.R.'s jaw clenched and it took all of his restraint not to reach out and hold Sue Ellen at his side. Instead, he simply glared at them as they walked past. Sue Ellen purposefully ignoring him only sharpened his temper.

He watched them walk away before Cally finally spoke up. "Ummm, J.R. … how 'bout if we get some food, too?"

J.R. looked over at his pretty young bride-to-be standing at his side and instantly regretted that he has been ignoring her. She didn't deserve it. None of this was her fault.

"No … thank you, darlin'," he softly said and put his free arm around her shoulder. "I'm not very hungry. But how 'bout takin' me over to the shade under the balcony so we can sit down? I'm feelin' a little light-headed."

"Sure enough!" Cally grinned and slipped her arm around J.R.'s back, grateful to have his attention again. "I'll do anythin' you want. Just name it."

J.R. internally groaned. He'd searched his whole life for women who would say those words to him and really mean them the way Cally just did. Pleasing him was all she wanted. She had certainly given him a great deal of pleasure in bed. Why all of the sudden, after years of craving only that, was it suddenly not enough?

Catching sight of Sue Ellen, mingling and laughing in the crowd with Don at her side, J.R. had his answer.


	14. Chapter 14

Wild Is The Wind, Part 14

For the next two hours Sue Ellen avoided J.R., strategically keeping the crowd and Don between her and her ex-husband. After years of studying J.R., feeling secure in how well she knew him, at that moment she felt like she hardly knew him at all. He had become unpredictable since the storm. He had become … nice.

The kiss on the cheek he had given her was especially bothersome. It probably looked like a harmless gesture yet he had done it in front of Don and Cally and half of Braddock County. That was not like him at all. What was worse is she had enjoyed it.

At least J.R.'s current disposition might help with her plans to make John Ross their highest priority from now on. But could she trust this current detente to last? She had her doubts. He had made so many similar promises in the past that had all been broken. Then again, he had never been side-swiped by a tornado before. It had left her changed in so many ways. Was it possible J.R. had changed, too?

Unnoticed, Don quietly approached and held out a glass of lemonade to her. "Here you go."

"Oh …" She said, a little startled, then looked over at him and smiled. "Thank you, Don."

"You were pretty far away there. What were you thinking about?"

"What wasn't I thinking about?" Sue Ellen said with a smile as she looked back out over the ranch again. "I don't know … I'm in such a funny mood. Maybe it's being back on Southfork, at another party. I've been to so many of them. They were one of the things I loved about being a Ewing. Plus this ranch … it is still so special to me."

"Sounds like there is a thaw taking place," Don observed. "You changing your mind about things? Maybe the movie?"

Sue Ellen shook her head. "I honestly don't know. It doesn't seem to matter as much as it did." She looked back to him. "And I'm sorry about that. You've put so much time and energy into it."

"Not to worry. It's just a job, luv … no hard feelings. But I am curious … have your feelings about J.R. changed as well?"

Sue Ellen looked out over the horizon again, seeing nothing, trying to find that answer for Don as well as herself. "I don't know that, either." She turned to him again with a questioning look. "I'm hopeless, aren't I?"

Don softly laughed. "Hopeless? No. Maybe just a little out of sorts."

"A little? You're being kind. This has been the strangest week of my life."

"No doubt." Don agreed, still smiling. "Nearly getting killed will do that to a person." He paused for a moment, carefully considering what he was about to say, then continued. "J.R. is probably experiencing the same thing."

Surprised by the comment because it so closely matched her own thoughts, Sue Ellen looked over at Don, hoping he would elaborate. "What do you mean?"

"Twice during the past twenty-four hours, I've seen him show you some genuine affection. That embrace yesterday … the kiss on the cheek today. If I didn't know better, I'd think he is falling in love with you again. Not that I would blame him, mind you."

Sue Ellen looked at him, almost disbelieving, but unable to argue with his proof. "How is that possible, Don? The day of the wedding, we despised each other. Now …"

When her words trailed off, Don simply nodded. "Well, from what I've seen, familiarity seems to breed contempt between the two of you. But on the other hand, it makes you emotionally attached to one another as well. You know him, probably better than anyone else, and he seems to allow you to do so … and only you. Plus you share a child. Added to that, you pulled together to survive the tornado. Stress like that creates a powerful attraction. It also puts him in the enviable position of being the only one who truly understands what you went through that day."

Sue Ellen looked at Don for a moment, taking in everything he had said. No one she knew had ever summed up her feelings like he had just done in a few short sentences. And more importantly, he understood while offering neither condemnation nor approval.

"Wow," she sighed, clearly impressed. "How did you figure all that out?"

"Because it's my business to know," Don said with a shrug, trying to discount that his knowledge was anything special. "Human conflict and emotion … that's the stuff great screenplays are made of, luv. You ought to know that. You and J.R. were well on your way to being immortalized."

Tears unexpectedly welled up in Sue Ellen's eyes. "Except I don't have anyone to write the finale and fade out for me."

"I'd be happy to volunteer," Don sweetly replied and cupped her cheek in his hand, gently stroking her skin with his thumb.

Sue Ellen returned his smile, drawn in by his gentle, understanding nature. Don could be so easy to fall in love with. Then she looked over his shoulder and saw her ex-husband standing a few feet away.

"J.R.," she said as she backed away from Don, hoping there wouldn't be a confrontation between the two.

"Excuse the interruption," J.R. quietly said to Sue Ellen. "I was wonderin' if you might have a minute, just so I can talk to you."

Sue Ellen knew avoiding him any longer would be pointless. She would have to face him sooner or later and maybe it was better to get it over with now. She looked back at Don and smiled. "Would you give us just a minute? This won't take long."

Don nodded and knowingly smiled. "I'll meet you on the dance floor." He winked at her. "I'm looking forward to that dance you promised me."

Even though they hadn't discussed dancing, Don had just given her an out and Sue Ellen was extremely grateful. She watched him walk away then looked back at J.R., who was closely watching her.

"What is it, J.R.?" She said as she led him over to a clearing by the paddock fence, knowing they might need the farthest distance possible from the closest pair of ears.

"You promised me in your office yesterday we would talk. You didn't call last night. You didn't call this morning. Now today you've done nothin' but ignore me. I wanna know why."

She shrugged. "I have no excuse. I'm just not real sure what to say to you right now."

"Well, at least that's honest," J.R. acknowledged, impressed by her bluntness. "Look Sue Ellen, I'm not tryin' to be difficult or push you or make demands. I am in no position to do that, anyway. But I do want to get things settled between us. We can't do that if you won't talk to me."

"What is there to settle, J.R.?" She replied, feeling both intimidated and susceptible to his vulnerability yet trying to remain aloof. "The divorce was final weeks ago. The custody of John Ross is worked out. It's time we get on with our lives."

Her callousness stung even thought J.R. saw right through it. "Why, because of that sweet moment I just witnessed between you and Lockwood?"

"That's none of your business!" She snapped back then took a deep breath, trying to force down her temper. "Why can't you just let this go?"

Instead of reacting to her anger, J.R. became unusually calm. "Since you have so obviously figured it all out, why don't you just fill me in 'cause I'm havin' one hell of a time figurin' it out for myself."

The request was simple and sincere and unexpectedly touched her because she now understood his point of view. More than that, she sympathized with it because she felt the same way.

"I know," Sue Ellen softly replied, her anger now gone. "Everything is so twisted right now."

He looked away from her, unsure of where to go next. "Things changed between us this week, darlin'. I don't know where I stand with you anymore."

She nodded. "We came out of the storm cellar so much different than when we went in."

"It's more than that, Sue Ellen," he softly said. "It was what happened between us up in my bedroom, before the storm."

"Damn it," she breathed, knowing he was right. "It was so much easier hating you."

J.R. nodded in agreement. "I know. But like it or not, it's the way things are. I'm not real sure how to handle it. I don't think you are, either. How 'bout if we figure it out together?"

"J.R., I …" Then she stopped, not wanting to reveal anything else. She felt too vulnerable and they were both too exposed. "I promise, we will talk. But not here. Not with Don and Cally and all the neighbors watching us, not to mention your mamma."

J.R. looked around and found the expectant faces she had singled out in the crowd. She was right. They were in a comprising position. "All right, I'll give you that. But there is one thing I need to know right now."

"What's that?"

"Why'd you kiss me like you did in your office yesterday?" He asked as the plans of commitment to Cally easily deserted him.

Sue Ellen felt herself blush but purposefully looked blank and shrugged her shoulders, hoping a little bit of humor would get her out of the uncomfortable situation. "I don't know … momentary lapse of judgment? Temporary insanity?"

Briefly confused by her change in attitude, J.R. soon caught on then grinned at her lighthearted denial. In a way, her covering it up confirmed the kiss had meant something to her, too. "Well, that's just fine, honey. You keep right on bein' cute and denyin' it 'cause it's gonna make the moment you give into me again that much sweeter."

Sue Ellen's humor quickly faded and she glared at him again. "I will not now or ever again give into you, J.R."

"Never is a mighty long time," he lightly cautioned, enjoying her reaction.

"Sue Ellen?" Came the call across the crowd. Sue Ellen and J.R. both looked over to see Don waving at her. "How about that dance now?"

"I'll be right there," Sue Ellen replied as she returned his wave then turned back to J.R. "Call Kelly and make an appointment, J.R. Maybe in a week or two, we can sit down and discuss all of this."

It was similar to what she had told him in her office yesterday and J.R. grinned again. "Why don't you let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night instead?"

"Because my office is safer."

"Safer than what?"

"Safer than you taking me out to dinner."

Their exchange made J.R. chuckle. "You keep playin' games with me, honey, you're gonna get burned."

"I've been burned so many times, I'm flameproof now, J.R." She replied then turned to walk off and meet Don on the dance floor.

"That's what you think," J.R. softly said to himself as he watched her go, enjoying the view of her legs that he never tired of.

The more he thought about it, her unintentional challenge made him feel good, the best he had felt in days. It would be a pleasure proving her wrong. He then headed back to the empty table under the balcony where he had been sitting. It was secluded enough to get him out of the noisy crowd but offered a great view of the party. He might not have the opportunity to talk to Sue Ellen but he could sure as hell look at her as much as he wanted.

Even her simplest movement and gesture was fascinating. Things he'd seen her do hundreds of times. The way she absent-mindedly tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. The way she smiled to accentuate her graceful charm. What delighted J.R. most was the sound of her laughter. It was also one of the things he regretted about losing her. Except for the times when they were first dating, he had never given her enough reasons to share her laughter with him.

Then he heard her laugh again and became irritated. What in the hell was Lockwood saying that was so amusing, anyway? On closer observation, J.R. finally realized she was teaching her new partner the Texas Two-Step. The man looked like a duck out of water and Sue Ellen was finding it extremely amusing although amusing was not the word J.R. thought of to describe it.

To make matters worse, the band soon segued from an upbeat version of "Cotton-Eyed Joe" to a slow, rather melancholy version of "Your Cheatin' Heart." J.R. rolled his eyes at the irony then felt his headache increase when he saw Lockwood pull Sue Ellen closer, keeping her captive for the slow dance, leading her in a dance he was obviously much more familiar with.

When Sue Ellen gave in to Don and rested her head against his, old familiar pangs of jealousy ripped though J.R. He had always been rather proud of his "love 'em and leave 'em" attitude with the ladies but when it came to Sue Ellen, he was openly possessive and jealous. It was the same reaction he had the moment he saw her on stage at the Miss Texas pageant when every male eye in the room was on her. It had only increased when she became his wife. There may have been times when he hadn't truly appreciate her but there wasn't a time when he didn't resent any man who did. And with her appeal and looks, she couldn't set foot off the ranch while they were married without attracting attention. Now that she had set foot back onto the ranch and had the attention of one man, it was even worse.

J.R. soon realized his jealousy was now coupled with something unfamiliar ... envy. Dancing with Sue Ellen had always been so enjoyable. It was a public, open invitation to hold her, move with her in a way that was only considered decent on the dance floor. Now another man was doing just that and as much as he resented it, J.R. envied Lockwood for it. Lockwood … of all people.

"What on earth does she see in that man?" He whispered aloud.

The longer J.R. watched them, the more irritated he became. And to make matters worse, somewhere in the crowd he could hear a shrill call of his name. It was Cally. His wife-to-be was obviously looking for him again.

"To hell with this," J.R. angrily muttered as he got up and walked around the side of the house then disappeared.


	15. Chapter 15

Wild Is The Wind, Part 15

The Braddock Tavern was a "good ol' boys" bar, best known for its simplicity. It was a place where a cowboy could simply spend a few hours playing pool while downing a few beers accompanied by Waylon, Willie, and Loretta on the jukebox.

Because it was just down the road from Southfork, the Ewing men were regulars – had been for years. It was one of Jock's favorite spots. Ray often stopped in on his frequent trips to Braddock. Even Bobby visited a couple of times a month for a beer or two after the office. And although the Oil Baron's Club was his preference, that afternoon the bar was J.R.'s choice.

He had escaped the ranch and party with very little trouble and after a few hours in the dark, smoky bar, his mood had improved. With the sweet, melancholy sound of Patsy Cline coming from the jukebox across the room, thoughts of Sue Ellen and Lockwood now seemed far behind. It was his father he thought about now.

Patsy Cline had been his daddy's favorite singer and J.R. vividly remembered her songs on the tinny speaker in Jock's old work truck as they checked oil fields. Those were great times, working with Jock … some of his favorite memories. Memories he should be sharing and creating with John Ross.

J.R. scribbled that thought down on a paper napkin in front of him. It was full of other notes, making up a detailed "to do" list that filled several other scraps of paper as well. All were things he wanted to accomplish and making memories with his own son just moved to the top of the list.

Also listed were several ideas about the new oil company. A company that would be all his then his son's when he was ready. No more sharing, no more having to answer to anyone else. The more he thought about it, the more he realized the new business venture wasn't just a dream. The resources were available to make it work and John Ross would be at his side the whole way.

John Ross … was he the partner Jock mentioned in the dream? Not that it mattered. He would bring John Ross up in the company anyway, involve him in the details just like Jock had done with him. Too bad Jock wasn't there to see it.

J.R. stopped and rubbed his eyes, trying to banish just how much he suddenly missed his daddy. But it was more than that. He missed being part of a family. Sure, there was Cally and the new baby to consider, along with John Ross, but it just wasn't the same. Somehow, it felt … empty. Would he ever be able to recapture the sense of belonging he had felt while his daddy was alive?

"_Where's this place called lonely street?"_ came the lyrics from the jukebox, echoing his feelings. J.R. tipped his glass in a silent toast to Patsy Cline. Like Jock always said, nobody sang hurtin' songs like she did.

In the front the bar out of J.R.'s view, Sue Ellen entered and looked around, her eyes trying to adjust to the dim light. After J.R. had gone missing, Miss Ellie had discreetly asked her for help finding him, knowing Sue Ellen would know better than anyone where he might be. So for Miss Ellie's sake, Sue Ellen had come to the bar on a whim, knowing it was one of the places J.R. loved to be when he needed to be alone, whether to think or console himself or just be where the memories of his daddy were most vivid. Today it was probably a combination of all three.

Standing behind the bar, an older lady with bleached-blonde hair and wearing a frilly apron saw Sue Ellen and grinned. "Why, Mrs. Ewing! It's good to see you again, hon!"

"Hi, Sally! Good to see you, too." Sue Ellen replied with a smile, instantly recognizing the owner, head waitress and barkeeper. Sally had been at the bar since Jock's time and Sue Ellen always suspected she had been sweet on the senior Ewing.

"You lookin' for your husband?" the older lady asked, knowing full well the pretty lady in front of her had divorced J.R. There wasn't much she didn't know about the residents of Braddock County, especially about the Ewings.

Sue Ellen nodded. "Yes, is he here?"

Sally pointed her finger to the back room. "Sure is. In there, where his daddy used to sit."

"Has he been flirting with the waitresses like his daddy used to?" Sue Ellen said with a wink.

Sally giggled. "No, ma'am, he's been real quiet. Too quiet even. I was just goin' over to take him some aspirin … said he had a headache. Would you like to take them to him instead?"

"Yes, I would." Sue Ellen replied as she walked over to the bar and took the pills from the waitress. "Thank you, Sally."

Sally winked at her. "Don't mention it. I think he'd like some company."

As Sue Ellen crossed the smoky room, she received several soft whistles and approving comments. Nothing like a Texan to make a lady feel welcome, she thought with a flattered grin.

Soon she could see J.R. at the secluded table in the back and she was surprisingly able to approach him unnoticed. He was busy writing something on a piece of paper and with the brim of his hat pulled down over his eyes and his head tipped down, he seemed to be blocking everything else out.

"Howdy," Sue Ellen said with a sardonic half smile as she reached down and gently tipped up the brim of his hat with her fingernail, forcing him to look at her. As he did, she was taken by the look in his eyes. It was a potent combination of excitement and eagerness, much better than the sullenness he'd displayed while back at the ranch. It was also a telltale sign he was plotting someone's downfall, brokering a hot oil deal or thinking about how to conquer some beautiful woman.

"Well, the ex-Mrs. Ewing," J.R. drawled with a grin that matched the mischief in his eyes. "What are you doin' here?" He dramatically looked around behind her. "And more importantly, where's your dance partner? Looked like you two were inseparable earlier."

Sue Ellen reluctantly smiled at his sarcasm. "I suppose I deserved that."

J.R. nodded at the small victory before observing her for several moments. She had removed her jacket and let her hair down, making her look even more appealing. "How'd you ever tear yourself away from him?"

"He's on his way back to Dallas."

"Oh really?" J.R. asked with a grin. "Why, did you wear him out dancin' with him?"

"No. We both agreed that his being there was upsetting you so we decided to separate. It's what mature, rational adults do instead of running away."

"Huh!" J.R. snorted at the insult but chose to ignore it. "Mamma sent you out lookin' for me, didn't she?"

Sue Ellen casually shrugged her shoulders, secretly irritated he had read her motives so quickly. "So what if she did?"

"Well, you can just go right on back to the ranch and tell her I'm not comin' home." He reached up and tipped his hat back to rub his forehead. "That place gives me a headache."

Sue Ellen knew he meant it and reached over to take his hand. When he tensed up at her touch, she realized she had startled him and enjoyed the feeling of catching him off guard, something that was usually impossible to do. Gently turning his hand over, she placed the aspirin Sally had given her on his palm.

"Aspirin … from Sally." She quietly said.

"Thank you," he genuinely offered at the gesture, his anger quickly dissipating.

As Sue Ellen withdrew her hand, J.R. took the opportunity to run his fingertips through her fingers. Even after all that had happened early, it still amazed him how simply having her nearby and feeling the touch of her hand could calm him. He popped the pills into his mouth then reached for his glass and swallowed some of the pale brown liquid inside.

"J.R., you shouldn't be drinking whiskey." Her reprimand was surprisingly soft and non-threatening and J.R. was grateful for that.

"Who says I'm drinkin' whiskey? Lord knows my head hurts enough as it is." He held up the glass. "Its iced tea. Care to join me?"

She considered the offer then sat down. "Yes, I would."

"Do you need to call your secretary and make an appointment first?"

Sally arrived at the table just in time to keep Sue Ellen from chastising J.R. for the repetitious dig and placed a glass in front of her. "Thought you might be joinin' Mr. Ewing."

"Ah, perfect timing, Sally," Sue Ellen said with an appreciative smile. "No wonder the Ewings love coming here."

"Thank you kindly, Mrs. Ewing." Sally grinned.

J.R. hadn't taken his eyes off Sue Ellen during the exchange. When the waitress left, he continued. "So, how'd you find me here ... _Mrs. Ewing_?"

"Took a guess." Sue Ellen replied, ignoring the mocking inflection he had placed on her last name. "How did you get over here? You didn't drive, did you?"

"No. I made one of the ranch hands bring me."

"Why did you leave the party?"

"None of your damn business."

Sue Ellen knew they were quickly approaching a stale mate. Slyly looking around for anything to help change her tactics, she noticed the napkins filled with J.R.'s handwriting spread out on the table.

"Okay, then how about telling me what you're working on?"

"Just the future of our son."

"Oh really?" She asked in what she hoped was her most charming tone. "Care to elaborate?"

"Maybe … when the time is right." J.R. replied as he collected all the napkins, pulling them together in a tidy pile then put them in the breast pocket of his jacket. "Now … don't you have a party you should be gettin' back to?"

"Are you coming with me?"

"No, I am not. Not until all those people go home."

"J.R., that's not very nice," Sue Ellen lightly scolded. "Miss Ellie is giving the party for everyone who helped rescue us. We should at least be making an appearance."

"You and Lockwood were makin' an appearance earlier. Now go on back to Dallas to find him and leave me alone."

Sue Ellen slowly grinned. "So, you are angry about me bringing Don to the party. I thought you might be."

"Oh you did, did you?" J.R. glared over at her. "Well, you're damn right I'm angry. Why was he there?"

"Your mother invited him, J.R., not me. Besides, he deserved to be there. He worked right along side Bobby to get us out of that storm cellar."

"And that is somethin' else I've had a tough time understandin'. What exactly was he doin' at Southfork the day of my weddin'? You two had no business bein' there."

Sue Ellen could feel her anger rising, both at the grudgingly astute comment and his continued stubbornness. But she held back. Arguing with him would lead nowhere. Besides, there had to be a better way to break his obstinate mood and get him back to Southfork.

"You're right … we had no business being there." She quietly agreed.

"Then why were you there?"

Sue Ellen was suddenly worn down by their games and felt no desire to continue. "Someday I'll have to tell you all about it."

J.R. shook his head and sighed. "Another stall. Do you ever plan on really talkin' to me?"

"Yes, I do." Then she suddenly leaned forward, bent her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. "But I am absolutely exhausted right now. You wear me out, J.R. You truly do."

J.R. looked at her then slowly grinned and began to chuckle. "The feeling is mutual, honey."

As Sue Ellen contemplated the way to get him out the bar and back home like Miss Ellie had requested, the music in the background registered with her. It was "Crazy," one of Patsy Cline's best love songs. How appropriate, Sue Ellen thought with a half-smile. If ever she and J.R. ever had a theme song that was it.

"Sitting here listening to Patsy Cline," she softly remarked. "You nursing a broken heart, darlin'?"

"So what if I am?" J.R. said a little sulkily. He studied the glass in his hand, avoiding her gaze, knowing she had finally caught on to him. "Can't tell you how much it pained me to see you dancin' with that little English fella. Must be quite a compliment for you, though, havin' someone look up to you like that."

Finally realizing what was truly bothering him, Sue Ellen nearly laughed out loud at his spiteful comment. "Oh, so that's it."

"That's what?"

"The reason you left the party. You're jealous because Don asked me to dance."

"I am no such thing," J.R. replied a little too defensively. "I don't give a damn what you do or who you do it to."

"I see," Sue Ellen nodded, trying once again not to laugh, knowing she was right. "All you had to do was ask, J.R. I would have danced with you."

"Is that a fact?" He asked, his voice falling into the deep, soft timbre. "What makes you think if I wanted to dance, it would be with you?"

Sue Ellen found herself drawn into his gaze but she didn't flinch. She simply held out her hand.

"Dance with me, J.R."

Surprised that she hadn't backed down, J.R. frowned at her request. "You kiddin' me?"

"No. Come on and dance with me."

"Sue Ellen, go away," he replied, no longer in the mood to banter with her or believing her offer was sincere. "I came here to be alone."

"All I want is a dance. Is that so tough? Besides, it will get your mind off feeling sorry for yourself." When he didn't move, she brazenly reached over and ran her finger down the strap of his sling. "Unless, of course, you don't feel up to it."

Without hesitation, J.R. unhooked the sling and removed it then placed it on the chair next to him. "Let's go," he said as he stood up and held his hand out to her.

Now it was Sue Ellen's turn to be surprised. Even though she had pushed him into it, she hadn't expected him to accept her offer.

"J.R., do you think that's a good idea?" Sue Ellen backtracked, now genuinely concerned. "What about your arm?"

"If I'm gonna dance with you, then I'm gonna do it right." He knew she had been working him, pushing all the right buttons, but he no longer cared. Challenging her was as close to seducing her as he would get from now on and the opportunity couldn't be passed up. "But maybe it's you who isn't feelin' up to it?"

As he had anticipated, a flash of anger darted through Sue Ellen's eyes before she stood up and took his hand then led him out onto the deserted dance floor. When she turned back to him, J.R. momentarily froze. He couldn't remember the last time they had danced together but the chance to be near her again, if even for a dance, overruled his hesitation. He took her hand in his and took command of their dance by possessively slipping his free hand around her waist to her lower back and gently pulling her closer, making their contact complete.

"You keep your distance," she gently warned as she pushed back, half attempting to resist both him and the tingle that ran down her spine at being so close to him.

"Why, do I make you nervous, honey?"

"Yes," she honestly replied. "As much as I dislike you … you're still a wonderful dancer."

He softly laughed at the begrudging comment. "I still got a few moves left for an ol' boy."

Sue Ellen found herself relaxing in his embrace, no longer wanting to resist. Watching him closely to make sure it caused him no discomfort, she gently slid her arm up around his shoulder then rested it there. Her fingers were soon at the back of his neck, touching him, although it was the last thing she had planned on. It was something she had very little control over, especially when dancing. The feel of both the starched cotton of his shirt and the warm skin just under the closely cropped line of his hair was irresistible. Just like it always had been.

J.R. smiled at the familiarity of her touch, the way she felt in his arms. She hadn't worn her usual heels to the party – probably for the benefit of Lockwood, he thought gleefully – so it made her shorter than she usually was. Yet when they began to sway to the music, with her head nested in the crook of his neck, he once again felt the disquietingly intimate way of how perfectly she fit against him.

It simply enhanced the dynamic between them that had always been so strong. Moving with her in the dance with his hands resting on her body, that was even more evident to J.R. Sue Ellen followed him, precisely matching his steps even to the point of anticipating them. In a way, she was subtly leading him but doing it in a way that made it look as if he was in control. He couldn't help but smile. Control was something he prized yet with Sue Ellen, he didn't mind surrendering it. At least a little bit because just like with everything else, she made him look so damn good.

He rested his jaw against the side of her head. Against the long, dark hair he had secretly admired for months. No matter the shade or style, he had always loved her hair ... the softness, the texture, the alluring smell that was so uniquely hers. He remembered how it felt as it grazed his chest when he held her at night. So many nights. So many times they had made love with her hair wrapped sensuously around her shoulders. Around him.

Sensing a subtle change in his embrace, Sue Ellen pulled back just enough to look up at him. "What are you thinking about?"

"If I tell you, you'll probably slap me and storm outta here," he grinned, hoping the flippant remark would cover being caught. But his smile quickly faded as he looked deeply into her eyes. Everything but honesty was stripped away from him. "I was just wonderin' how that long, dark hair of yours would look spread out across my pillow." When she stiffened in his arms and began to pull away, J.R. silently cursed himself. Honesty be damned … he now regretted being so vocal about something so private. "Look, I didn't mean that the way it sounded," he said, not allowing her to back away. "Well, yes I did, but ..." Then he smiled again, hoping to dispel her unease. "I guess what I'm sayin' so badly is ... you're the prettiest woman in here. And I'm damn lucky you're dancin' with me."

It took Sue Ellen a moment before she answered. The charming sentiment had diffused his other comment but she was unwilling to forgive him too quickly. "With the exception of Sally, I'm the only woman in here," Sue Ellen countered guardedly. "It's been a long time since you tried to sweet talk me."

"And how am I doin'?"

"Very charming … too charming," she mused as she distantly looked out over his shoulder. "Makes me want to forget all the other times you were so cruel to me."

Her comment stung especially because J.R. couldn't deny it. "I do have a mean mouth on me at times."

She nodded. "I know you so well but that is one thing I never understood. What did I ever do to inspire so much hate in you, J.R.?"

The pain in her voice was so real it sharpened the guilt J.R. had been experiencing about her the past few days. Hate? He had loved her … still loved her.

"It wasn't hate, Sue Ellen," he softly said. "I just made a rotten husband. Hell, I'm not even sure I should have gotten married. But the older I got, the more Daddy and Mamma expected it … expected me to settle down and have a family. So, I went out and found a wife. One hell of a wife, I might add. Only problem was I resented bein' tied down 'cause it kept me from the things I thought I really wanted… drinkin' … meetin' women … havin' a good time." He shook his head, disgusted with himself. "What a jackass."

"Why didn't you ever tell me that?" Sue Ellen quietly asked.

The hint of bitterness in her voice hurt J.R. even more and he sighed. "Would it have made it any easier?"

"No. But at least I would have understood."

"Darlin', the only thing you need to understand is what a waste of time it was on my part. A stupid, selfish waste of time. I could have been lovin' you this whole time. Now I'm tryin' to figure out how to live without you."

A waste of time. Living without him. They were the same conclusions Sue Ellen had reached that morning. It was also probably the most honest thing she had ever heard J.R. say. But even though it was a welcome surprise it didn't lessen how painful it all was.

"Regret is so simple on this side of things, J.R." Sue Ellen finally said, once again resigned to the inescapable damage of their past.

"It surely is," he replied and inched closer to her again, running his hand down her back, hoping to calm her. When she flinched slightly, he stilled his hand. "Especially when not one of those women ever measured up to you."

They fell into a tense silence, each lost in thoughts and memories of events that no longer needed explanations. It was over and done with. They were, too. They both knew it. Yet they made no move to separate now. Their dance continued as the slow, yearning music unexpectedly helped soothe their conflicting emotions.

"You know," J.R. finally said. "You were right, what you told me in your office yesterday. Too much has happened between us and now with Cally …" He stopped short, suddenly having no desire to mention Cally or the baby. "Well, I just know I've finally gotta settle down and stop actin' like such a …"

"Bastard?" She interjected.

After a brief moment the shock wore off and J.R. grinned at the use of her favorite curse word for him. "Yes, a bastard. Why thank you, darlin'."

Sue Ellen reluctantly smiled at his mock appreciation. "Don't mention it."

He rested his chin against her temple as his mood turned serious again. "Even though I can't get you off my mind, I'll let you go, Sue Ellen. Just like you asked me to."

It was both what Sue Ellen wanted to hear and what she didn't and her sadness at the finality surprised her. "I hope you mean that, J.R."

"I do," he nodded. "But only on one condition." Sue Ellen pulled back to look up at him, concerned at how high the price might be for her freedom. J.R. simply smiled down at her. "If I can't have you as my wife, I sure as hell don't want you as my enemy. I'm too damn tired to fight with you anymore. Is there any chance we might make that truce we called in the storm cellar stick?"

"Yes," Sue Ellen quietly answered with a nod. J.R. seemed to be answering all the questions and doubts she had had that morning and it was a relief. She cautiously smiled. "Too bad I'll have to abandon all the plans I've thought up to break you."

"Break me? Oh, honey … half the state of Texas has tried that and failed." J.R. softly chuckled. "Don't waste your time."

His arrogance amused Sue Ellen and she finally giggled at the absurdity of the entire situation. And they continued to dance.

Within the space of a heartbeat or two, they were back in synch, in their own special rhythm and in more ways than just the dance. It was how it had always been between them. They were never more vengeful while at war yet never more forgiving or able to forget as quickly as they were with each other. It was both the curse and the blessing of their overwhelming knowledge of each other.

The song on the jukebox faded out and another one began but neither made the move to stop. Instead, they settled into the slow rhythm of the new song and continued to silently dance for several more minutes.

So many thoughts were racing through Sue Ellen's mind. There were so many emotions pounding in her heart. The combination of the two left her very close to tears. But she vowed not to cry. Not now. Not ever again. She and J.R. had wasted enough time on negative emotions. It was time they started living again. Plus there was John Ross to think about.

"J.R.," she softly asked, finally finding the way to ask the question that had been on her mind all day. "What if we take all the energy we've used fighting each other … turn it into something positive and focus it on John Ross? He needs us ... both of us. That was never more clear to me than hearing him at the air vent of the storm cellar, talking to both of us until we were rescued."

J.R. looked down at her, surprised at the revelation. "He was there?"

She nodded. "Yes. I was so scared … about you and about being trapped and wondering if the tornado would come back. Without him there, I think I would have lost my mind down there."

"I'm glad he was there," J.R. quietly responded, both terrified and awed that their son had been right there, living through the hell of that day with them. "Makes me even more proud of him."

"His love for us is so unconditional," Sue Ellen continued. "Yet do we truly appreciate it? Seems like all we've done this past year is take him for granted and ignore him."

J.R. was momentarily speechless. She was right. And knowing how much both Sue Ellen and John Ross had done that day to make sure he survived made the tornado and it's aftermath suddenly seem like a distant second in importance.

"Maybe almost getting killed out there was what we needed to wake us up," she added. "Because if we don't, I'm afraid we're going to regret it for the rest of our lives. My God, J.R.! Our little boy is a teenager now. If we're not careful, we're gonna wake up one of these mornings and he'll be gone."

"Soon he'll be in high school … then off to college," J.R. echoed.

"And getting married and making us grandparents," Sue Ellen added.

"Us … grandparents." J.R. wondered aloud.

"What a frightening thought," Sue Ellen countered. She moved closer to him, needing the reassurance that being in his arms had always given her. This time she found the calming way he ran his hand over her back very welcome.

After quietly dancing with her for a moment more, simply enjoying how she felt in his arms, J.R. shared the idea that had just occurred to him. "How would you feel about spendin' time with him … and me … just the three of us? Maybe a couple of times a month? Just takin' him out dinner or seein' a movie?"

Sue Ellen looked up at J.R. and smiled, grateful that he had understood. "I'd be willing to give it a try. I think he needs to see both of us together every once in a while, just to show him we can get along."

J.R. looked at her for moment then pulled her closer once again. "And I need the both of you," he whispered.

The warmth of his breath through her hair made Sue Ellen's knees weak. She didn't dare look up at him, up into those eyes that could so easily seduce her. Instead, she looked off over his shoulder once more.

"Don't forget to include Cally, J.R.," she added distantly. "Don't shut her out of any part of your life."

Cally. A girl he knew so little about yet was now going to share his life. J.R. felt like he was going to be sick but swallowed hard and pushed the feeling down.

"I won't. I'm gonna be a proper husband to her." J.R. forced a smile, needing to change the mood before he broke down and never let Sue Ellen go again. "I just might surprise you."

"Nothing you do ever surprises me," she said with a soft, lilting laugh that thrilled him. Making her laugh was all he had hoped for back on the patio at Southfork. He had even added it to his list of things to accomplish. Now that his wish had been so easily granted, it made him even more determined to find other ways to keep on doing it.

"Cally is so sweet and will probably make you very happy," Sue Ellen added, trying to mentally distance herself from him even though physically it wasn't possible at the moment. "Just avoid the pattern we fell into. Bedroom to boredom, every single time we reconciled."

"Boredom?" J.R. was stunned by the comment. "You tryin' to tell me somethin'?"

Sue Ellen smiled half-heartedly. "No. But you didn't even try to cover up how bored you were with me at times."

"I was never bored with you, honey … especially not in the bedroom.

"Liar," she softly replied with another gentle laugh. Both the sound and the feel of it against the skin of his neck made it difficult for J.R. to concentrate.

"When somethin' is good," he added after a moment. "And I mean _really_ good … it always leaves you wantin' more. 'Cause if it's not then why the hell bother?" When she didn't respond, J.R. continued. "Sue Ellen, have you ever stopped to count just how many women have stayed a part of my life? I mean really stayed there?" Surprised, she looked up at him. "Just one. And I happen to be holdin' her at the moment.

The remark hung in the air between them. Sue Ellen knew he was telling the truth but had she really meant that much to him? Dancing with him suddenly felt different. Sometimes when they danced while married, even a few times they made love, it felt as though J.R. held her at a distance, like he didn't want her to get too close. Now as he held her … supporting her, protecting her … it felt as if he never wanted to let go. Even if they couldn't be together as a couple, perhaps there was a chance they could at least get to know each other again on a friendly basis. At least for the sake of John Ross.

As the song came to an end, Sue Ellen looked up at her ex-husband. He smiled down at her … a sincere smile, not his usual leer. But she noticed he was now sweating and looked very pale. The same color he had been while unconscious in the storm cellar.

"Come on," she said as she took his good arm and wrapped it over her shoulder, now supporting him. "You look like you don't feel too good. Let's get you back to your chair."

Suddenly winded, J.R. was grateful for her unerring instinct. An explanation would have taken too much energy. "How 'bout just takin' me home? Would you mind?"

He had finally given in to her. She had accomplished what she set out to do when she walked into the bar. But what a journey it had been. Things now seemed so different between them. Was that possible in the space of two songs? She doubted it but found herself looking forward to finding out if it could be true.

"No, J.R. … I don't mind," she said as she wrapped her arm around his back. "C'mon, let's get you home."


	16. Chapter 16

Wild Is The Wind, Part 16

_Love me, love me, love me_

_Say you do_

_Let me fly away with you_

_For my love is like the wind_

_And wild is the wind_

It was nearly dark by the time Sue Ellen's Mercedes pulled into the Southfork driveway and the few remaining party guests were slowly making their way to their cars. J.R. sighed, relieved the party was over, eliminating the need to exchange social greetings with anyone else.

As they neared the house, he looked over at Sue Ellen who had been quiet on the short drive home. He didn't want to get out of the car, didn't want to go into the house without her. But he knew he had no other choice.

"Sue Ellen," he gently said as she pulled the car to a stop. "Thank you ... for comin' out and bringin' me home."

She looked back at him then reluctantly smiled. "You're welcome. Now do me a favor and stop getting into trouble, will you?"

J.R. softly chuckled. "I'll do my best."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she quickly countered, making him laugh again. "Now how 'bout if I come around and open the door for you … maybe help you into the house?"

"I'd not only like that … I'd appreciate it," he softly replied. "I'm awful tired. And a little dizzy."

Her expression deepened into concern. "Maybe we'd better take you over to Braddock County Hospital and have you checked out?"

"No, no, no ... I'm fine." J.R. adamantly refused.

"At least have Miss Ellie call Dr. Danvers for you."

"I don't need that old quack tellin' me it's nothin' a little sleep won't cure. It's just been one hell of a day, that's all."

Sue Ellen nodded. "Yes, it has."

She turned off the car then got out and went around to the passenger side. When she opened the door for him, J.R. swung his legs out then Sue Ellen helped him stand up, allowing him to rest against her as they slowly walked up the driveway and patio to the house.

It was a moment of trust she had rarely experienced with him, even after being married to him for so many years. J.R. usually didn't ask for help with anything. As she supported him now, she realized how much she enjoyed the feeling that he was turning to her, needing her at such a vulnerable moment. If only he had trusted her more like this … what a team they would have made.

As they got closer to the house, both were startled by a figure that slowly moved out of the shadows and approached them. It was Cally and it was soon very obvious she had been crying.

"J.R.?" Cally meekly questioned. "Where ya been?"

"Nowhere important, honey. Just down at the Braddock Tavern."

"With Sue Ellen?" Cally's voice was becoming a little stronger.

J.R. looked down at Sue Ellen, realized how close they were with her supporting him, then looked back at Cally and smiled, realizing his young wife was misinterpreting Sue Ellen's presence. "Oh ... no, Cally! Sue Ellen just went down there lookin' for me then offered me a ride home. Now she's helpin' me into the house. That's all."

"Why was she lookin' for ya?" Cally countered, her voice now sounding angry. She looked over at Sue Ellen, expecting answers.

"Cally, Miss Ellie asked me earlier if I knew where J.R. was," Sue Ellen gently said. "I simply took a guess that he might be down at the tavern. That's all."

Cally's temper finally exploded. "Why can'cha just leave him alone! You don't want him … you divorced him! But you just keep hangin' around him! You just had'ta be at our weddin' 'n caused that whole mess with him gettin' hurt! Aren'cha ever gonna give him up?"

"Cally!" J.R. called out in a low voice. "Keep you voice down! You're gonna have the whole family out here in a minute. Besides, Sue Ellen doesn't deserve that."

"I don't care!" Cally yelled back. "I want everybody t'know what's goin' on between you two!"

"Nothin' is goin' on between us!" J.R. quickly countered, finding it extremely difficult to hold his temper with the girl. "Now you just go on in the house and cool yourself down, then we can talk about this later. 'Cause I'm not gonna have you out here makin' a fool of yourself for everyone to see."

"Why? 'Cause that ain't the way a Ewing behaves? Maybe Sue Ellen here can explain it to me." Cally glared over at Sue Ellen. "After all, you've told me so much other stuff 'bout J.R. and bein' his wife."

J.R. tensed and looked down at Sue Ellen. "What's she talkin' about?"

Sue Ellen looked over at Cally. "This isn't the time or the place, Cally. J.R. isn't feeling well and needs to lie down."

"I'm not goin' anywhere 'til I find out what's goin' on." J.R. quietly remarked to Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen looked up at him just as Clayton and Miss Ellie exited the house onto the patio and came over to them.

"J.R.?" Ellie called out.

"What's goin' on out here?" Clayton asked, annoyed by what looked to be yet another family confrontation with J.R. in the middle of it.

Cally went to Clayton's side, her sole friends since moving in at Southfork. "They came home together and I just wanna know why."

"I'd like to know that myself," Clayton said, giving Sue Ellen a disapproving look.

The look made Sue Ellen angry and she offered him a subdued warning. "Clayton, don't jump to conclusions."

"As a matter of fact, Clayton, why don't you stay the hell outta this and go on back in the house?" J.R. snapped at his stepfather.

"Everyone just calm down," Ellie firmly said, making herself heard over all of them. "It's been a very long day and we could all use some rest, especially J.R." She went over to her son's side. "You're awfully pale. Are you feeling alright?"

J.R. weakly smiled down at her. "I'm fine, Mamma. Thanks for sendin' Sue Ellen out to find me."

"Well, I'm not fine!" Cally angrily added, now glaring back at her husband. "J.R., I saw the way Sue Ellen was lookin' at'cha today … the way she was lookin' at'cha after the tornado. Can'cha tell she's still sweet on ya?"

"Oh, good grief, Cally." Sue Ellen replied. She would have laughed out loud at the sweetly juvenile explanation if it hadn't been so irritating. "Sweet on J.R. I am not and any feelings I had for him … other than contempt … died a long time ago." She maneuvered J.R. closer to Cally. "Your husband wasn't feeling well so I offered him a ride home. That's all." She disengaged herself from J.R.'s embrace then handed him over to Cally. "He's all yours now."

"Well, thanks a lot, honey," J.R. said to Sue Ellen even as he recoiled from Cally.

"Honey?" Cally angrily asked. "What's that supposed to mean, J.R.? You got feelin's for her, too?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do!" J.R. shouted back. "She is the mother of my son and probably the only women I ever truly loved! Are you satisfied now?" J.R. was met with stunned silence from Cally and all those surrounding him. Realizing what he had said, he sighed and rubbed his head. "Oh wonderful."

Cally's lip began to quiver then she burst into tears, turning into Clayton's chest to cover her face. Clayton embraced her and glared over at J.R.

J.R. reluctantly approached the girl. "Cally, honey … I'm sorry. I'm not feelin' very well and I'm talkin' crazy." The girl continued to cry and J.R. rolled his eyes. "Look here," he gently pleaded with her. "Let's you and me go on upstairs and we'll talk this over. What do you say?"

Cally finally looked at him, tears streaming down her face. "What's there to talk about? You're in love with Sue Ellen! But don'cha know? She don't love you! She told me so!"

Behind J.R., Sue Ellen visibly flinched, uncomfortable with the entire situation and J.R.'s revelation of love still ringing in her ears. There was no longer any doubt about it … coming out to Southfork that day had been a huge mistake.

J.R. reached over and took Cally's hand. "Listen, Cally … I'm sorry 'bout all this. I had no intention of hurtin' you tonight. I just needed some time to myself, that's all." He tried to smile. "Don't you know, I'm gonna take real good care of you and that little baby you're carryin'. I promise. 'Cause family is all that matters now, Cally. And that little baby … we're gonna give it everything, includin' all our love." When she started to cry even harder, J.R. frowned in frustration at the seeming rejection of his declaration of love. "Well, what the hell did I say now?"

Cally angrily wiped the tears out of her eyes and glared back at Sue Ellen. "Tell him, Sue Ellen! Tell J.R. your plan. Bet he'd love to hear 'bout it right now."

Sue Ellen looked at Cally for a moment, amazed by her foolishness, then looked back at J.R.

"Tell me what?" J.R. asked Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen casually shrugged her shoulders. "Cally's pregnancy is a hoax."

"A what?" Cally and J.R. asked in unison, the first not understanding the meaning, the latter understanding too well.

"I told her to fake the pregnancy so you would marry her," Sue Ellen said to J.R. "It was obvious she couldn't get you to commit to her any other way. And if it hadn't been for that damn tornado, she would have succeeded." Now it was Sue Ellen's turn to glare over at Cally. "Isn't that right, Cally?"

"Well, I ... uhhhh ..." Cally was confused by Sue Ellen's honesty. She had never expected the lady to fess up to the pregnancy lie let alone announce the part she had played in it.

J.R. blankly looked at Sue Ellen, trying to understand all she had said, blurred as it was by the throbbing pain of his headache. "You mean to tell me she isn't really pregnant?"

"No, she isn't." Sue Ellen said, shaking her head for emphasis as she gave him a slow half-grin. Then she defiantly folded her arms across her chest. "Imagine that. The Master Manipulator was almost taken in by the cute, naive little hillbilly."

"No, just by her wicked witch of a mentor," J.R. replied, both irritated and amused by Sue Ellen's ploy.

"Hey, I ain't no hillbilly!" Cally cried out.

J.R. turned to her and frowned. "And you ain't pregnant, either. You just lost your bargaining chip, Cally. If you know what's good for you, you'd best be quiet from here on out."

"Don't threaten her, J.R.!" Clayton angrily countered as he protectively wrapped his arm around Cally again. "You and Sue Ellen have obviously pulled this innocent girl into another one of your twisted games of one-upmanship. I won't stand for it!"

"Oh, you won't stand for it?" J.R. replied, astonished by the man's arrogance. "What, are you Cally's knight in shinin' armor now?" When Clayton didn't answer, J.R. shook his head in disgust. "Well, ain't that just typical. First Sue Ellen, then Mamma, now Cally. Are you ever gonna get tired of goin' after my women?"

Clayton lunged out with a punch that landed squarely on J.R.'s jaw. J.R. withstood the assault for a brief moment before he shuddered and collapsed to his knees.

"Clayton, no!" Sue Ellen cried out.

"Clayton, stop this at once!" Ellie said as she stepped in front of her husband and pushed him back. When he continued to struggle, Ellie pushed back harder, displaying a physical strength Clayton had rarely seen in her and he stopped. "That's enough! You take this up with J.R. when he is in better condition and able to defend himself!"

"That's the problem, he never will, the coward!" Clayton shouted back before allowing Ellie to push him back once more.

Sue Ellen quickly went to J.R. and knelt down next to him. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, dandy," J.R. groaned. He shook his head then spit blood out on the cement. "Sue Ellen … please," he whispered as he looked up at her. "My head is killin' me. I can't take much more. Get me the hell away from this place. Take me back to the tavern or a hotel in Dallas ... anywhere. Just please, get me the hell away from here!"

Sue Ellen was alarmed by the panic in his voice that was accentuated by his labored breathing. She quickly examined him and was relieved to see the blood was simply from a split lip. "J.R., you need a doctor."

"No! Just get me outta here! Please!"

"Shhhh, it's alright." Sue Ellen tried to comfort him and stroked his hair like she did for John Ross when he was having a nightmare. "We'll go. I'll take you anywhere you want. You've just got to calm down." J.R. looked at her closely, seeing she was sincere, then nodded in agreement. Sue Ellen continued. "Can you stand up?"

J.R. reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. Using her to steady him, he shakily stood up with a great deal of effort. Sue Ellen was quickly on her feet and at his side, propping him up, before he nearly collapsed again.

Cally rushed to his side, now regretting all that had happened. "J.R., are you okay?"

J.R. flinched away from her. "Leave me alone, Cally!"

"Cally," Sue Ellen gently pleaded with her, wanting J.R. to remain calm. "If you love J.R. like you told me you do, you will leave him alone right now. Just back off and give him some space."

"Yes, ma'am." Cally said and took a few steps back. "I'm sorry, J.R."

"Huh!" J.R. sarcastically barked out with a short laugh then winced at the pain it caused to echo in his head.

Sue Ellen looked over at Miss Ellie. "Miss Ellie, could you please find John Ross so we can leave?"

"Of course," Ellie said as she went to her son's other side and helped steady him. Then she angrily looked back at Clayton. "Clayton, you and Cally go find John Ross and send him here." When they looked at her blankly, still trying to assimilate all that had happened, she became more forceful. "Go now!"

Both scurried away like scolded children, unable and unwilling to argue with the order the powerful little lady had issued.

When Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie walked J.R. back to Sue Ellen's car and got him inside, Ellie turned to Sue Ellen.

"Sue Ellen, I know it's a lot to ask, but I need a favor. Could you take J.R. back to your house for me?"

Sue Ellen recoiled. "Miss Ellie, I don't think …"

"Please?" Ellie added, interrupting Sue Ellen's protest. "I'm extremely worried about him and don't want him spending the night alone at some hotel."

Sue Ellen considered the request, knowing by the determined, frightened look on Miss Ellie's face that she couldn't refuse. Besides, she was equally as concerned about J.R.

Attempting a smile, Sue Ellen nodded. "All right, Miss Ellie … I'll do it for you."

Relieved, Ellie smiled and reached up to kiss Sue Ellen on the cheek. "Thank you. I'll call Harlan Danvers and have him meet you there just as soon as he can."


	17. Chapter 17

Wild Is The Wind, Part 17

After accomplishing a graceful dive into the pool, Sue Ellen enjoyed the brief, temporary quiet beneath the surface. The water felt wonderful as it wrapped around and embraced her, reinforcing that her wounds had healed, the bruises had faded, and the muscle aches were gone, leaving her with the clean, clear feeling swimming always gave her.

When she resurfaced, John Ross gave her a smile that reaffirmed her decision to take the day off to be with him. When he had asked for one more day to stay home from school, Sue Ellen found it difficult to refuse. The tornado had affected him as much as anyone, especially with being forced to face the frightening idea of losing both his parents at such a young age. Sue Ellen suppressed a shiver. What a day of reckoning it had been for them all.

"Nice dive, Mom," John Ross proudly called out to her.

"Yes, it was," came an unexpected agreement from the other side of the pool.

John Ross and Sue Ellen turned to see J.R. standing at the edge, looking down on them and smiling. He was barefoot and dressed unusually casual with his shirt untucked. It was the most un-J.R. like Sue Ellen had seen him in years.

"Dad, you're awake!" John Ross happily exclaimed.

"How do you feel, J.R.?" Sue Ellen asked.

"I'm feelin' much better." He slowly stretched out his injured arm. "See, I'm finally free of that sling. Nothin' like a good night's sleep to make you whole again."

John Ross giggled. "Two nights, Dad."

"What?"

"You been pretty much asleep since Saturday night," Sue Ellen added, trying to clear up his obvious confusion.

"Isn't this Sunday morning?" J.R. asked, confused.

"No, it's Monday!" John Ross said gleefully. "Mom let me stay home from school another day."

"Monday?" J.R. wondered allowed. "Seems like I'm sleepin' my whole life away lately. Must be those damn pain pills."

"Plus a little extra," Sue Ellen added. "When we got you back to the house after the party, Dr. Danvers was here waiting." Annoyed, J.R. frowned at her and she quickly rebutted him with a gentle scolding. "And don't you dare look at me like that! It was your mother's doing and I wasn't about to argue with her. Besides, it's a good thing she sent him. He gave you a sedative because you were completely exhausted but refused to rest. J.R., he's worried that if you don't stop pushing yourself, you are going to end up back in the hospital."

"I'm just fine," J.R. muttered.

"He also said you were too stubborn for your own good, just like your father was. I agreed with him."

J.R. grudgingly smiled at her. "Well … thanks for lettin' me stay here 'cause the last place I wanna be is back at that hospital."

"Then how about just resting for a day or two until you're completely healed?"

He smiled at her request. "All right, I'll be on my best behavior, I promise. You won't even notice I'm here."

"I doubt that," Sue Ellen said, returning his smile.

"Hey, Dad!" John Ross called out. "Wanna see the new dive Mom has been teaching me?"

"Sure, son!" J.R. gladly replied, grateful for the distraction from Sue Ellen's lecture. "I'd love to."

J.R. watched as John Ross pulled himself up out of the water and scurried around to the diving board. When he executed a nearly perfect back flip, both his parents applauded.

"That was your best one yet, sweetheart!" Sue Ellen called out to him when he resurfaced.

"That's great, John Ross!" J.R. added. "How long you been workin' on that?"

"Only a couple of days … since I've been staying out here with Mamma."

"Well, I'm impressed, son. You're a fast learner." J.R. looked over at Sue Ellen. "Ain't he somethin'?"

Sue Ellen grinned at the simple observation. "Yes, he is."

"I sure do like having both of you here to watch me," John Ross happily remarked as he swam up to his mother. "C'mon Mamma, I'll race you over to where Daddy is."

J.R. watched them approach, side by side as they quickly cut through the water. The idea of joining them was tempting although the actual swimming looked like too much effort. Instead, he went to the steps in front of him and rolled up his pant legs. Stepping down into the water and sitting on the top step, he soon noticed John Ross had stopped swimming and was looking at him, perplexed.

"What's wrong, son?"

John Ross paused to think about it then smiled. "I haven't seen you in a pool for a long time."

J.R. nodded thoughtfully in agreement. "Yeah, you're right. We used to go swimmin' all the time, didn't we?"

"Yeah. You taught me how to swim."

"I sure did. And look at you now. You're just like a fish!" J.R. looked over at Sue Ellen, who had been watching them both. "You remind me of your mamma, the way you swim … poised, graceful, under control." He looked back at John Ross. "I love watchin' you both in the water. It's been a long time … too long."

Sue Ellen knew where he was headed, knew a heavy dose of charm wouldn't be far behind. Seemed like all he had done since the tornado was try to charm her. She even reluctantly admitted to enjoying some of it. The truce they had called was certainly better than fighting with him. But maybe a little bit selfishly, she wanted him to still work on convincing her he was sincere for just a little bit longer, maybe a little bit harder. That was the least he could do.

Perhaps a well-executed exit would remind him of that.

"I'm going to go check on breakfast," she said to John Ross.

Gliding through the water to the stairs, Sue Ellen rose out of the pool and began to ascend the steps. As the water slowly receded around her, it revealed more and more of her lithe body. The exact effect she was hoping for.

She knew she looked good, knew the swimsuit she was wearing was the perfect fit, highlighting and defining the best parts of her body. She had long ago embraced her age and the way motherhood had affected her shape but both were achievements in her mind, not hindrances. Besides, youth was highly overrated. Having the body of a 25-year-old like Cally's meant not having the experiences she had earned that made her a woman. A woman who knew how to make a man notice when she walked past him.

Working the slow reveal of her body so close to her ex-husband, showing him exactly what he had given up for so little was perhaps the sweetest moment of revenge she had ever thought of. And unless she didn't know how to read him as well as she thought she did, J.R. definitely noticed.

Knowing he was dumbly staring at her, needing to shift his gaze before his thoughts took him too far, J.R. looked up to Sue Ellen's face, framed by dark tendrils of hair and shining from the water that was quickly evaporating off her skin. Few women he knew would even go near a pool, afraid their hair and makeup would be ruined. But so few women looked so good wet.

The soaked material of her swimsuit made it cling to her like a second skin, defining every curve. Curves that made tiny rivers of receding water trickle down in patterns over her skin that J.R. wished he could trace with his finger. He slowly smiled. Some things never changed … they only got better. Sue Ellen was the perfect example of that. Watching her move so tortuously slow out of the water had just strongly reinforced it.

"I'm definitely gonna have to spend more time at this pool with you and John Ross," J.R. remarked so only she could hear.

Now standing on the top step, Sue Ellen paused next to J.R. and looked down on him for a long moment. The exquisite way she could make her eyes and expression smolder was in full force. When she slowly lifted her hand near him, J.R. hoped she would reach out and touch him. Instead, she quickly recoiled her muscles and flicked her hands and hair, splattering him with the now cold water droplets still falling from her skin.

Flinching as he tightly closed his eyes from the unexpected cold shower, J.R. slowly opened them again to look up at her.

"Oh … sorry about that, darlin'," Sue Ellen apologized insincerely, trying not to giggle about her immature yet very self-satisfying act.

As she walked away, J.R. wiped the excess water from his face and began to laugh in a combination of relief, wonder, gratitude and joy. He was alive. He was with the two people that mattered most to him. And the woman he adored had finally started to tease and flirt with him again instead of actively plotting his demise.

John Ross observed J.R., surprised once again at his odd behavior. He couldn't even remember the last time he had heard his father laugh.

"What's so funny, Dad?" The boy asked.

"Everything, son. It just feels damn good to be alive."

"John Ross," Sue Ellen called out from the patio. "Carmen has brought breakfast out here. Come and eat."

John Ross swam over to the stairs. "You hungry, Dad?"

"Starvin'," J.R. replied, still grinning. "But you go on ahead. I'll be there in a minute."

Several minutes passed after the boy left but J.R. still waited. He knew Sue Ellen would come back, feeling guilty about getting him wet no doubt. But still he waited, the tension and anticipation rising in his stomach and chest. What if he had guessed wrong? Then he heard the soft slap of bare feet on the pavement behind him.

"Coffee, J.R.?" Sue Ellen asked.

He chose not to look up at her, knew the grin he could no longer contain would give away how grateful he was she had proved him right.

"You comin' back to finish me off and push me in the pool?"

"No. You're safe … for now," she said with a grin. She held out the cup of coffee. "Here."

"Thank you, Sue Ellen," J.R. replied politely, taking the cup from her using his peripheral vision. "And thanks for bringin' me here last night … err, I mean the other night.

"You're welcome," she said as she pulled her wrap around her and tied it then sat down next to him "It was a rather intense night."

"To say the least." He paused to sip the coffee. "Well, for whatever the reason it happened, I'm glad it did or else I wouldn't be here with you and John Ross. It did me a world of good just now, seein' the two of you together in this pool."

"For him, too," she added. "Seems we are on our way to keeping that pact we made in the bar the other night about putting him first."

"Yes. Sure helps us both bein' in the same place. How long you gonna let me stay?"

"Tonight? Tomorrow night? Whenever you're ready to go back to Southfork."

"I'm not goin' back there," he said flatly.

Sue Ellen assumed his refusal was because of the fight with Clayton. "J.R., what did you expect Clayton to do? Of course he hit you … you say the rudest things to him sometimes."

"It's more than Clayton, Sue Ellen. Southfork is no longer my home. It hasn't been for quite some time."

"Really?" Sue Ellen asked, genuinely surprised. J.R. giving up Southfork would be like him giving up oil or women … or both. "Where are you planning on go?"

"I'm thinkin' about buildin' my own ranch." He finally looked over at her and smiled again. "Think I can stay here 'til it's ready?"

"Don't push your luck," she emphatically replied, her good humor fading. "Besides, how will it look, you staying with your ex-wife while trying to fix things up with Cally?"

"Speakin' of Cally," he said, purposefully changing the subject. "That was pretty damn devious, Sue Ellen, connin' her into fakin' a pregnancy so I'd marry her."

"You want to talk devious? What about getting that little girl into bed in the first place? Good Lord, J.R., at least your other conquests have been an acceptable age. Cally makes you look like a dirty old man."

J.R. paled and rubbed his forehead, the headache from his concussion suddenly reappearing. "Thank you for that, Sue Ellen. I feel so much better now."

"I hope it stings like hell. That's what happens when your actions finally catch up to you and bite you on the conscience." When he didn't reply, Sue Ellen softened a little. "Listen to me. At the risk of repeating myself, I think Cally really does love you. Very much. She was here yesterday, along with Miss Ellie. They are worried about you and both feel terrible about what happened at the ranch, especially Cally."

"Well, she should."

"Why don't you just go home and give her a chance, J.R.? She might be the best thing that ever happened to you."

He looked back over at her.

"You and the son you gave me are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"J.R., don't," Sue Ellen said, finding it difficult to contain her frustration. "We've already been through this. Nothing is ever going to happen between us again. We can't go back."

He looked over at her with a sudden intensity that took her breath away. "Then how about spendin' one last night with me before we separate for good?"

Her expression froze. "You're joking."

"I've never been more serious in my life, honey. Cally and I are through. Her bein' pregnant was the only reason I was gonna try to and make it work with her. Now I'm free to spend the rest of my life lovin' you. But if you're gonna keep me outta your bed for good, I want one hell of a memory to remember you by."

Sue Ellen was astounded by his nerve and even more so that for a split second, his offer was tempting.

"J.R., you have the most revolting sense of timing," she angrily replied. "If Bobby were here, I'd have him throw you in the pool for that remark."

"Why? For tellin' you the truth?"

"No, for even thinking I'd consider going to bed with you after everything you've put me through!" Sue Ellen quickly stood up. "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man in Texas."

"Aw, c'mon, darlin' ... you can't blame me for tryin', can you?"

"The hell I can't! Now come have breakfast with your son. He is the one you need to be spending some time with. He's the only one that can stand you at the moment."

J.R. listened as her footsteps faded away then finished off his cup of coffee and grinned. "At least I've got you thinkin' about bein' with me now, honey."


	18. Chapter 18

Wild Is The Wind, Part 18

J.R. and John Ross were at the kitchen table, talking over a game of poker when the familiar clicks of Sue Ellen's high heels made J.R. stop. Unconsciously holding his breath in anticipation of her arrival, he wasn't disappointed when she appeared at the door.

Elegantly dressed in black from polished high heels to tailored jacket and skirt, she was captivating. Dramatically so with her long dark hair straightened out with one side tucked behind her ear, revealing a simple diamond stud that matched her rings and solitaire necklace. She would own any room she entered that night, along with the man lucky enough to be at her side.

"You goin' somewhere?" J.R. asked as he admired how the short skirt accentuated her legs.

"Yes." Sue Ellen casually replied while secretly pleased by his reaction to her appearance. "I've been asked out to dinner."

"Thought we were gonna have dinner together, Mom?" John Ross asked unhappily.

She smiled at him. "We had lunch together in Dallas plus we'll have breakfast in the morning before you go to school."

"Awww, Mamma!" He complained. "Do I have to go back to school? Can't I spend just one more day with you and Dad?"

"John Ross, it's been a week," she said with a laugh.

"But I've got all my homework and assignments caught up."

"No, your mamma's right, son," J.R. interjected. "You might have all the work done but it's not the same as bein' there. Besides, I'll still be around for a few days… if your mamma doesn't mind."

Sue Ellen looked over at J.R. and gave him a curt nod, somewhat displeased at not being asked first for permission about his stay. "Of course, I don't mind."

John Ross reluctantly gave in. "Okay. If Dad's gonna be here tomorrow night, I'll go back school." John Ross finally grinned again. "He's already taught me a new game of poker."

"Hmmm, let me guess," Sue Ellen said. "Texas hold 'em?"

Surprised, John Ross looked up at her. "How'd you know?"

Sue Ellen looked over at J.R. who was smugly smiling down at his cards. "What else would your Daddy and Granddaddy play?" She bent down and playfully whispered in John Ross' ear. "Just don't be too easy on him. He doesn't know what a card shark you are."

"I'm findin' out quick enough!" J.R. grinned. Feigning interest again in sorting the cards in his hand, he offhandedly asked Sue Ellen a question. "So, who's the lucky fella who asked you out to dinner?"

Sue Ellen straightened up as she eyed him suspiciously. "Don Lockwood. Why?"

J.R. shrugged. "Just curious. You gonna be late gettin' back?"

She hesitated before answering. "Does it matter?"

"No … no … just wonderin' if I should wait up or not, that's all."

"Don't bother waiting up on my account," Sue Ellen answered, irritated by his subtle prying. Although their day together with their son had been pleasant, she still had no desire to be anything but cordial with J.R.

Without saying a word, John Ross got up and walked past them both, headed for the door.

"Where you goin', son?" J.R. asked, surprised by the boy's sudden retreat.

John Ross stopped and looked back at him. "Sounds like this is building up to one of those moments when you guys ask me to leave the room. Figured it would save time if I left now."

Properly chastised, J.R. and Sue Ellen awkwardly looked at each other, their guilty embarrassment instantly curbing their verbal game of one-upmanship they had started that morning at the pool.

"No, John Ross … c'mon back here." J.R. said, beckoning the boy back with his hand. "You're mamma and I … we're just jawin' at each other, that's all."

"Sometimes we get a little carried away," Sue Ellen sincerely added, wrapping her arm around John Ross' shoulder when he approached again. "I'm sorry." She glared over at J.R. "And I know your father is, too."

J.R. gave them both his most angelic grin. "I surely am."

John Ross didn't say anything, just nodded and dejectedly looked down.

J.R. knitted his eyebrows together in a frown, puzzled by the unexpected lack of reaction. "John Ross, you all right?"

He remained quiet, avoiding eye contact.

"John Ross," Sue Ellen said, gently pulling on his shoulders. "What it is, sweetheart? You've been so quiet lately." Still he said nothing. "What's bothering you?"

J.R. reached over and tipped John Ross' chin up so he would look at him. "Talk to us, son." Still, John Ross said nothing. "C'mon now. You can tell your mamma and me anything, you know that."

John Ross sighed heavily and began. "I'm just so tired of everything. All this stuff like the tornado and everything else that keeps messing up my life but nobody will ever tell me why."

"What do you mean?" J.R. gently asked.

"I don't know," John Ross said, his irritation growing. "It's just that … well, you and Mamma went from being together to not speaking to each other so fast. Then Mamma moved off Southfork and she ended up shooting you. Now Cally lives at the ranch and Mamma told me she won't ever live there again." As his list grew, the angrier he became. "All these people like Cally and the guy Mom is going out with tonight keep showing up and I'm supposed to like them right off. Why? Why do I have to like them when you spend more time with them than me?"

Sue Ellen and J.R. were equally astounded by his outburst but what was worse was they knew he was right. Their history was no longer theirs. It was starting to show on their son.

Not understanding their silence, John Ross looked first at his father then up at his mother and suddenly felt guilty for his outburst. "I'm sorry … I didn't mean to say anything wrong."

"No, sweetheart," Sue Ellen quietly said. "You didn't say anything wrong."

"If I did, please tell me," John Ross pleaded. "I'm old enough to understand stuff now. I really am."

"Yes, you are," J.R. replied, marveling at how mature his son truly was. "Seems like you've become pretty grown up before we even had the chance to notice."

"Just please don't send me back to that school, Dad … away from you and Mom."

"Is that why you've been so quiet lately, John Ross?" Sue Ellen asked.

John Ross looked away from her and shrugged. "Yeah … maybe. I figured if I stayed out of trouble and kept my mouth shut, you wouldn't send me away again."

"Oh, John Ross," J.R. said, reaching out to stroke his son's hair. "None of that happened 'cause of anything you did or said. And I want you to listen to me … I won't be sendin' you anywhere, ever again, no matter what you do. I put you in that school mostly to keep you away from your mamma. But that was wrong, son, 'cause I know you need her and need to be around her. I'm sorry I forgot that."

John Ross nodded then looked at his father so earnestly that the depth of emotion startled J.R. "I miss you and Mom so much. I hardly ever get to see you anymore. Why can't it just be the three of us again, like today? Maybe then you'd both love me like you used to and want to spend time with me, like before those other people showed up."

J.R. swallowed hard and couldn't speak for a moment. He looked up at Sue Ellen who was equally mute.

"John Ross," J.R. finally said, "your mamma and I love you very much. But this past year … well, it was pretty rough and we lost sight of what was important. Namely you."

"Your daddy's right," Sue Ellen agreed. "It was a tough year but sounds like you're the one who's been suffering because of it."

"That's all gonna change, John Ross." J.R. added. "Believe it or not, your mamma and I already talked about this just the other night. We knew something wasn't right where you are concerned and decided that from now on, you are gonna come first."

John Ross looked at both his parents. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Sue Ellen said with a gentle smile. "As frightening as that tornado was, something good did come of it. It made your daddy and me realize just how important you are to us."

"And even if we aren't all livin' together," J.R. chimed in, "we are still gonna love you no matter what."

John Ross thought about what they both said for several moments before answering. "But if you're not together, would it really be that tough for you to at least be friends?"

Now it was J.R.'s turn to think about his answer and when he did, he looked up at Sue Ellen and smiled again. "No. It wouldn't be tough at all."

Sue Ellen looked away from J.R. and squeezed John Ross by the shoulders. "You've probably noticed that your daddy and I can both be too stubborn for our own good at times. But I promise, we'll find a way to work this out. Because there is one thing we will never argue about and that is you. You are the best thing that ever happened to us."

"She's right, son." Then J.R. softly laughed. "See, there … we agreed on somethin'. Miracles really do happen."

John Ross hesitantly smiled and looked at both of his parents. "Being with you both today was the best. Think we can do it again soon?"

"You can count on it." J.R. grinned.

"Yes, you can," Sue Ellen said as she pulled him into a hug then kissed his head. "I love you, sweetheart,"

John Ross grinned shyly at her then hugged her back. "I love you, too, Mamma." He then went over to J.R. and hugged him. "Love you, too, Daddy."

J.R. closed his eyes as he held John Ross tight for a moment then smiled and patted him on the back. "I love you, son."

"Now, I really do have to do what you said I would," Sue Ellen said to John Ross. "I need some time alone to talk to your daddy. Would you mind?"

"Nah, I don't mind now." John Ross replied, still smiling. "I gotta go call Christopher, anyway. 'Night, Mamma."

"Good night." Sue Ellen said, briefly cupping his face in her hand. "And remember … bedtime is at 10 o'clock tonight so you'll be up in time for school."

"No problem, Mom," he said with another grin before disappearing down the hallway.

When John Ross left the room, Sue Ellen looked over at J.R. and sighed. "That could have been a disaster. Thank God we had already figured it out."

J.R. nodded. "Maybe we're finally catchin' on to this parenthood thing. We make quite a team when we want to."

"Where John Ross is concerned, yes."

"He is quite a young man."

"Yes, he is."

J.R. took a moment to admire her once more before looking back into her eyes. "And Lockwood is one lucky man. How 'bout callin' him and cancellin' your date? Stay home with me and the boy tonight."

"I can't, J.R." She said without hesitation. "Not tonight."

"Can't or won't?"

"It will be better for both of us if I go out tonight."

"Better how?" He said, now irritated. "You spendin' the night with him?"

Sue Ellen gave her ex-husband a quizzical look at the obvious signs of his disapproval. She was amazed and somewhat entertained that she could still get to him.

"Not that it's any of your business," she replied with a casual shrug of her shoulders, "but yes. Don and I might take that next step in our relationship tonight. I find him incredibly attractive." J.R. sighed in disgust and rolled his eyes. Sue Ellen would have laughed if she hadn't found his attitude so aggravating. "Why the sudden interest in my love life? Just because we're trying to get along for the sake of our son doesn't mean anything else."

"Is Lockwood why you turned me down this mornin'?"

"No. I turned you down because I have no interest in visiting our past. Let's just call it self-preservation."

"I call it a damn shame."

"J.R., if you're going to stay here, you had better stop pressuring me like this."

"Then don't go out and spend the night with another man while I'm here."

Sue Ellen came close to losing her temper but managed to control it. Time to change tactics, she reasoned … and fast.

A half-smile curved her lips. "Do you remember when sex was both fun and pleasurable, J.R.?"

J.R. looked at her blankly for a moment before answering. "What the hell kinda question is that?"

"It's something I've wondered about for quite some time now," Sue Ellen simply said, realizing the new tactic worked and he was caught off-guard. "Seems like the only use you have for sex anymore is to manipulate or overpower situations so you'll get what you want. That kinda takes the fun out of that particular pleasure, doesn't it?"

J.R. found it difficult to mask his discomfort especially at her new topic of discussion. He knew she had developed a new frankness, even appreciated it at times, but had never expected it about this.

"Sue Ellen, you know how I feel about this kinda talk," he warned, trying to stall.

"Yes, I do," she continued, disregarding his warning. "That has always puzzled me, too. How can a man with so many conquests be so shy about them, especially when they all took such different places in his heart? Let's see …" She held up her hand and began counting off on her fingers. "Julie Gray the secretary was so convenient, just like little sister Kristen. Leslie Stewart was because you couldn't have her … Afton was because you could. Marilee Stone had everyone else so why not you? Holly Harwood ... well, I can't imagine any amount of oil being worth her. Then there was Mandy Winger ... because her beauty entranced you," she added mockingly. "And my personal favorite was Kimberly Cryder, all because you wanted her daddy's company when Jeremy Wendell took Ewing Oil away from you as you handed it to him on a silver platter courtesy of the Justice Department." She studied J.R. for several seconds, enjoying his angry silence and decided to go even farther. "Now there is sweet, naive little Cally." Sue Ellen's feigned pleasantness quickly faded into disdain. "She is probably the most disgusting of all. You wanted her just because she had probably never even kissed a man let alone been to bed with one." She clapped her hands a few times before glaring savagely at him. "Congratulations on such a crowning achievement, J.R."

Sue Ellen's comments had both provoked and wounded him but J.R. refused to let it show and kept his reply subdued. "That was a rather cruel tirade, wasn't it? I thought we'd risen above all that the past few days."

"You might have," Sue Ellen answered resentfully. "You certainly are wonderful with your son. But guess I just needed to remind myself what a cruel man you are to the women you 'love'."

"So you're gonna sleep with Lockwood just to prove how little I mean to you … maybe show me how unavailable you are? Well, I gotta hand it to you, darlin' … you certainly have learned your lessons from me. Too bad you're not considerin' what the outcome might be."

"I already know the outcome too well."

"Play with fire, you're gonna get burned."

"Not a chance. I refuse to play.

"Funny how you left someone off that list you just handed me."

"Well, no doubt I did. There must be quite a few I don't know about."

"I'm talkin' about you."

"Me?" She shook her head and grinned cynically. "Oh no. I'm a little too close to the situation to make a fair assessment of that mess."

"Well, then let me see if I can help you. I'll admit ... and not too proudly ... that there is a grain of truth in every example you gave me. But goin' back to your original question ... do I get any pleasure out of sex?" He slowly stood up, advancing towards her. "There are times … when a woman challenges me, gives me reason to notice her in more than just a physical way … I enjoy the hell out of it." The steel glimmer in his eyes was a look of half provocation, half passion that suddenly left Sue Ellen feeling too exposed. She backed away as he approached. "Bein' with a woman like that excites me like no other 'cause she knows me ... anticipates me ... gives me what I want ... what I need."

Sue Ellen quickly ran out of space as her back flattened against the kitchen wall and J.R. stopped just short of touching her. Their faces were only inches apart, leaving her in the danger zone. Her rational mind screamed to get away from him. The only problem was his words along with those penetrating eyes, now the silver-blue of a clearing rain sky, had physically paralyzed her once again.

How she hated to admit she loved when his voice fell deep like it was now. She hated that he knew it affected her, used it for the specific purpose of making her swoon like a lovesick teenager. What was even more infuriating was his expression was unreadable except for a barely noticeable smirk that turned the corners of his mouth, enhancing the controlled challenge in his voice, making his presence more erotic than threatening. Her gaze instinctively dropped to his mouth. That secretive, lying, seductive mouth. Her defenses were collapsing and she was no longer sure she cared.

"When I'm with a woman like that," he continued in a low drawl, "we can spend hours just touchin' ... lovin' each other until dawn ... each time better than before ... and I can still feel it a long time after it happens." She remained silent as he paused to study the features of her face, once again taken in by her beautiful, dark eyes. "Yes, Sue Ellen ... I get pleasure out of sex when it's like that. But it's only like that when I'm with you."

Sue Ellen felt transported away from all that had happened between them, away from the anger, pain and frustration to the deep, dark secret place inside her soul only he could reach. J.R. always knew just what to say, how to say it, and it always caused her to fall into his arms so many passionate, consuming times. Before he had sacrificed it all for Kimberly Cryder and West Star.

"Too bad all your other women diluted what we had," she quietly said after a moment, once again firmly in the present and resenting it and him for being the reason. "How could I have been so naive, thinking a wife was meant to love and help her husband? All I was to you was expendable and every time you chose one of them over me, you proved it."

"No," he quietly disagreed. "All I proved is what a stupid son-of-a-bitch I was to ever put any kind of value on anyone above you. Not one of them compares to you, Sue Ellen. You outshine them all."

"That's just another line, J.R.," she wearily replied "Ever since the tornado you've been trying to charm me back into your bed. God knows why. We've been down that path too many times to count and I'm tired of it. So why don't you just leave me alone? Go after all the women you want just don't make me watch anymore."

"And I'm supposed to watch as you go off to Lockwood's bed tonight?"

"I don't give a damn what you do."

"Yes, you do. Remember that last time we were together?"

"No!"

"I remember everything about it. What you were wearin' … what you weren't wearin' … the smell of your perfume … the way you whispered my name against my skin. We didn't get any sleep that night and it didn't matter."

Sue Ellen shifted uncomfortably, reluctantly recalling the same details. "J.R., stop it!"

"I wish I could. It's takin' everything I've got not to pull you into my arms right now."

"Don't you dare touch me!"

"I won't until I'm asked."

"I won't be asking."

"What about the need we fill for each other, Sue Ellen? It's never been stronger than it is right now. I know you feel it, too."

"We were nearly killed by the tornado, J.R. We needed each other to survive. Haven't you ever heard of kidnap victims falling in love with their captors? It's the same thing."

"Rationalize it all you want. It doesn't change it." He paused to look at her once more then sighed. "Damn, I want you."

"Go home to your wife, J.R."

"You are my wife."

His wife. His lover. His possession. She hadn't been any of those things to him for so long yet he still so possessively attached the title "wife" to her. Some of her resolve slipped away at the thought of what it truly felt like to belong to him yet Sue Ellen remained resolute in her denial.

"No. I'm not your wife and never will be again."

"I don't believe that."

"Then that's your problem because I have another man."

"You tellin' me you'll settle for what that Englishman can offer you?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

Sue Ellen glared up at him and tried to break away but J.R. pinned her to the wall with his good hand on her shoulder.

"Let go of me!" She cried out as she tried to break free. "You only want me because you can't have me!"

"That's not true."

"The hell it isn't! But I'll be damned before I ever let you touch me again!"

Her threat generated a wild impulse inside him. He would take her right there against the wall, show her exactly how good it still was between them. But then his rational mind re-engaged. Doing so would scare her off, be an exchange for a few fleeting moments when a lifetime was what he wanted. Sanity quickly took back control, cooled his blood and he took in a deep breath that further calmed him. Just like a thoroughbred, gentling her over time would pay bigger dividends and she was infinitely worth the investment.

"Sue Ellen, look at me," J.R. gently replied as he held her in place with some difficulty. When she refused and continued to struggle, J.R. covered her body with his, pinning her against the wall as he put his finger and thumb under her chin, forcing her head up so she couldn't avoid him. "Look at me, honey," he pleaded once again and she finally held still. "You can spot a lie on me better than anyone so look at me now. You know I'm tellin' the truth. No matter what I've done in the past ... no matter what I've said ... I love you, Sue Ellen. You're in my blood and the way I need you gives you more power over me than any other person, dead or alive. Do you know how much that terrifies me?"

His determination was both daunting and frustrating and it frightened her. Once he set his mind on something, he was unstoppable and being his target was the last place Sue Ellen wanted to be. All she could think of was to lash out at him with the one thing she knew would hurt him the most.

"The only thing that terrifies you is disappointing your daddy!"

J.R. froze for a moment at the cutting comment then nodded. "Maybe so. Livin' up to his legacy meant there was no room for weakness. Lettin' anyone, includin' my own wife, have any kinda hold on me always seemed dangerous. So I pushed you away, slept with other women, treated you awful and said terrible things to you. But lyin' on that cold concrete after the tornado with you holdin' my hand ... I knew havin' you at my side is where I want you to be … no matter what it cost."

She shook her head, trying to mentally fight him off even though she couldn't physically. "You really expect the past twenty years to just fade away in six days?"

"I'm not the same person I was before the tornado hit … before I saw you standin' there in my bedroom, holdin' my tie."

Sue Ellen finally lost her temper. "I swear, J.R., if you tell me you've changed, I will lose my mind! I've heard all this so many times before."

"Yes, you have. And no ... I'm not gonna say that. The die has been cast. It's too late for me to change now." He lightly stroked her cheek before she flinched away from him. "But I can change my mind." He slowly smiled down at her with a warmth she reluctantly felt spread throughout her body. "You aren't my weakness, honey ... far from it. When you're at my side and in my bed, I feel like there is nothin' that can stop me. This past year proved that. Without you, I turned ice cold and had nothin' to show for my time. How's that for disappointin' my daddy?"

"You got everything you deserved."

"Includin' your wrath. You scare the hell outta me, woman. I had no defense for what you did to me at West Star."

She looked away from him. "Nicholas was the mastermind behind it."

J.R. nodded. "So I've heard." He paused, not knowing what to say to her. What could he say? "Listen, Sue Ellen ..."

She angrily glared up at him. "No ... stop! I don't want to hear another thing and especially not about Nicholas! Not even the apology you're about to offer me."

J.R. was caught off-guard at her anticipating his next sentence. "But I ..."

She angrily cut him off again. "No, J.R.! Nothing!"

He remained silent for a few moments, rethinking his tactics, but there was nothing left. All that remained was the question that had haunted him since Pearce's death.

"Would you have felt better if it had been me who had gone over the railing that night?"

That stopped her. Sue Ellen studied his eyes, knew he genuinely wanted an answer, and she had one for him.

"Yes ... I wanted it to be you."

J.R. flinched and sharply exhaled, her comment landing on him like a kick to the stomach.

"And it would have been so easy to tell Joseph Lombardi it was your fault his son died." Sue Ellen continued, her conflicting emotions finally showing in her voice. "He would have made you disappear forever."

The hatred in her voice shocked J.R. This wasn't the sweet, demur beauty queen he had fallen in love with so many years ago. She was cold, calculating ... just like he had been the past year. Like he had been with her for years. A realization formed in his mind, one he tried to fight back but couldn't ... he had done this to her with all the games, all the manipulations, all the lies. He had given her no other choice.

Sue Ellen absorbed his reaction, saw him visibly pale. She knew she had hurt him deeply. It was the moment she had longed for, the reason she has so carefully plotted out the movie she was making with Don. Victory had come early but it was all hers. Then why did it feel so empty?

"I couldn't do it," she sadly whispered to herself.

"You're not a killer, Sue Ellen," J.R. quietly replied. "Neither am I. If I could go back to that night, I would give you John Ross, make that fight with Pearce never happen 'cause seein' the way it destroyed you is killin' me."

"Damn you!" She softly cried as she impatiently wiped away unexpected tears. "Don't take away my anger! It's all I have left."

The grief and pain in her voice was so tangible J.R. felt tears forming in his own eyes. Jock's words rang out in his head … never let them see you cry, boy … never let them know they hurt you. But Jock had never prepared him for the feelings the lady in front of him could generate inside him. So many feelings he had fought like hell to avoid. All fighting them had accomplished was hurting her and turning his heart stone cold.

A tear escaped and ran down Sue Ellen's cheek. J.R. gently brushed it away with his thumb and was surprised when she allowed it.

"I have so much to make up to you," he said. "Let me."

Sue Ellen brushed his hand away. "No! I am what you made me, J.R. You're going to have to live with that."

J.R. became genuinely frightened. "Don't say that, Sue Ellen. Don't let this turn you into something you're not. Please, at least let our son grow up with a mamma and a daddy who love him and at least like each other, whether we are livin' under the same roof or not. 'Cause I'm sick of runnin', makin' excuses for not givin' you and that boy proper love. And I do love you both … so much. If that leaves me vulnerable, then so be it." He reluctantly dropped his hand and backed away, needing any further contact to come from her. "Now you do with that what you will."

The simple plea stirred such strong emotions inside her she had to look away. She wouldn't fall for him again, no matter what he said. No matter how sincere he was. It would be a betrayal to Nicholas.

"I'm going out with Don and expect to be late," she replied, her voice now distant. "Very late. Don't wait up for me."

J.R. reluctantly held up his hands in surrender and allowed her to go. As he watched her walk away and out of the room, he knew there was nothing else he could do.

After years of withholding it, he had finally declared his love to the one woman who truly mattered and she was going off to spend the night with another man. The irony felt worse than if she had picked up a gun and shot him again.

"Good night, Mrs. Ewing," he called out right before the door slammed shut.


	19. Chapter 19

Wild Is The Wind, Part 19

After John Ross went to bed, J.R. wandered around the big, unfamiliar mansion, trying to avoid the uneasy loneliness that had settled over him without the presence of his son or Sue Ellen. Or was it being alone with himself that made him uncomfortable?

Sue Ellen's words were still so sharp in his mind. She had certainly made an impression on his already guilty conscience and that in turn generated a severe attack of self-incrimination. Yet it all seemed so new to him, so painful. Had it really been that long since he had experienced anything this close to guilt?

It had been a long time.

Looking back, J.R. knew when empathy and compassion became trivialities and were banished from his life. He knew the very moment it happened. Hearing Jock was missing, finding his medallion at the bottom of that murky jungle lake, nothing had ever been the same again. He had warped into a cold, calculating bastard and had lost everything he gave a damn about.

"_Congratulations on such a crowning achievement, J.R."_

A cold chill ran through him at the echo of Sue Ellen's contempt. Now the one person who could pull him back was the one person who hated him most. She even wished him dead in place of Nicholas Pearce. Would it even be possible to change her mind? It all seemed rather futile.

He looked around the mansion once more. Staying in her house, he was surrounded by everything that mattered to Sue Ellen yet was never farther away from her. But as he continued to look around, it was difficult to feel sad. Instead, he found himself admiring both the place and the things Sue Ellen had picked out to fill it. Even as spacious as it was, it seemed like an extension of her … warm and comfortable yet very elegant.

He had always known Sue Ellen had an eye for decorating but never more so than seeing how she laid out the house to suit her own tastes. Being on her own, away from the territory of both their mothers, had obviously brought out a whole new side to Sue Ellen … that of homemaker. It was quite an accomplishment for her … a lifelong dream, really … and J.R. was able to smile at the warm burst of pride he felt for what she had achieved.

As he walked through the library, he was reminded of what an avid reader Sue Ellen was on all kinds of subjects. It was part of the reason she was such a brilliant conversationalist. Plus her ability to quickly understand new concepts had always amazed him. It was the main reason she had been able to develop a little backroom business into a multi-million dollar company, making her one of the richest women in Texas in just two short years.

Damn, what a woman.

J.R. stopped and wearily rubbed his eyes between his finger and thumb. Being in her house, surrounded by everything that mattered to her was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he couldn't get any closer to her than this and a curse for the very same reason.

He would leave first thing in the morning. He could at least give her that. No more games, no more attempts to woo and seduce her back. The game was finally over. But he wouldn't feel sorry for himself for losing her, either. She had given him so much when she was part of his life. And maybe … just maybe … sometime in the future she would accept his thanks for that, maybe his friendship or at least let peace replace all that had been destroyed.

But was that really possible?

J.R. sighed heavily, suddenly too tired to think about it or her anymore. Needing a distraction, he looked across the library shelves and found a book on Sam Houston. Taking it down, he absent-mindedly thumbed through the pages. Finding the contents intriguing, he headed upstairs to the guest room to read the book. Even though he wasn't tired, he hoped the book would at least relax him, maybe make him temporarily forget all that had happened. But after several long minutes he gave up trying to concentrate on the book as his thoughts returned once again to Sue Ellen.

"_That's what happens when your actions finally catch up to you and bite you on the conscience."_

Her earlier words now rang so true. The consequences of his actions had always been unimportant as long as he got what he wanted. But tonight, all those consequences seemed focused back on Sue Ellen and swamped him like a tidal wave. He was willing to accept the blame for all she had said. So many of the things she mentioned had been right on target. But what bothered him most was seeing her cry.

Hindsight was such a bitch.

All she had ever done was offer to love him in ways far beyond just being his wife and lover. She could coax him to keep going even at the worst times. She had that way of somehow understanding him without needing any details. But what always surprised the hell out of him was even with all she did know, she never judged him, only offered acceptance while understanding his ability to not give a damn what other people thought.

Was it any wonder Cally didn't feel right as his wife?

That thought caused J.R. a twinge of regret. Now that he knew she wasn't pregnant, he had been planning to simply sidestep the girl, get her out of Dallas as soon as possible with a nice, fat check. It wasn't right. He knew it wasn't. But if he went through with marrying her there was no doubt he would make her miserable. With her being so young and naive, Cally would never understand his life … wouldn't understand him. And even as attractive as she was, being in bed with her now seemed pointless. Living with her would be far worse. Better to cut his losses now than prolong the inevitable. Just like so many before her.

There had been so many marriage proposals to other women. So many he hadn't meant. Looking back, would any of them fared better than Cally? He doubted it. Julie? She would have crumbled under the pressures of being a Ewing wife. Kristin? She would have probably murdered him in his sleep. Leslie Stewart? Good Lord, he would have frozen to death on the honeymoon. Marilee Stone? He would have needed oxygen just to get through the honeymoon. Mandy Winger? So damn pretty but so damn superficial. And what about Kimberly Cryder? Would he have really been able to stand being attached to her and her constant chatter just to have West Star? No. Sue Ellen had done him a favor by stealing West Star out from under him.

J.R. couldn't help but laugh quietly to himself. Even though Sue Ellen had earlier given full credit to Nicholas Pearce for the West Star maneuver, he knew she had ruthlessly orchestrated it. Ruthlessly but brilliantly.

She truly was one hell of a woman.

The only woman he could think about anymore. Was it possible after spending most of his adult life in the pursuit of women he was suddenly becoming a one-woman man? If that woman was Sue Ellen, he surely wouldn't mind. It reminded him of that old story his daddy used to tell about the dog that used to drink whiskey with Digger. Digger thought seeing the poor mutt stagger around was hysterical but one day Jock had enough. He gave the dog his fill of alcohol and by the next morning, the dog was so sick it never touched the stuff again. Seemed like that's what the tornado had done to him, made him sick of other women. Or better yet, made him truly appreciate what he had with one woman. The only problem now was it didn't seem to matter to Sue Ellen.

Was it because of Lockwood?

Lockwood. What did she see in him, anyway? It was impossible. They were a total mismatch. There was no way he could hold much sway over her. But then again, the lucky little bastard was probably at that very moment capitalizing on whatever it was she did find appealing about him.

Frustrated, J.R. angrily threw the extra pillow tucked behind his head across the bed then reached over and turned off the light. He didn't bother changing into his pajamas. It would take too much effort. He rolled over but his shoulder and head ached, making it difficult to get comfortable. Maybe a pain pill would help. The thought of losing consciousness was tempting. At least he would quit thinking about her. But what if John Ross needed him? Or Sue Ellen came home early?

He sighed heavily. Damn that woman.

If she hadn't been so stubborn, they might be together right now. But had he really expected it to be that easy? J.R. reluctantly smiled again. No. She had never been a pushover. He wouldn't want her to be. Even with waiting three years and having to include a wedding ring, it had been worth it to bed her that first time. Even then she had been the exception. Why had it taken being sideswiped with a tornado for him to see that?

"Jackass," he muttered, quietly reprimanding himself.

Maybe he had lost his last chance with her but if Lockwood truly was her knight in shining armor now, just let her try to duplicate the kind of chemistry they shared. J.R. knew it wouldn't work. It never had for him. And he was willing to bet all the money he had stashed in Switzerland she wouldn't find their kind of magic with someone else, either.

He paused then slowly grinned. That thought gave him a glimmer of hope. Maybe he did have a chance of showing her how good it could be between them again. Now those were terms he could live with and to hell with Lockwood. That newly found resolve finally let him relax and soon his eyes closed as he drifted off to sleep.

In the place somewhere between consciousness and oblivion, his plans to reclaim Sue Ellen blended with memories of their past and fantasies of their future. His dreams weren't far behind … vivid, erotic echoes of their time together, making her only a touch away. It was so real … the scent of her hair … the smooth texture of her skin he never tired of stroking … the way her body felt wrapped around his in the spasms of ecstasy.

She whispered his name.

He was back in his bedroom at Southfork, back in their bed. He was waiting for her. The door softly clicked then opened and closed followed by the familiar slight shift on the mattress. She was there. She was in his bed. The welcome warmth at his back proved it.

But how could a dream be warm?


	20. Chapter 20

Wild Is The Wind, Part 20

J.R. rolled over and was met by Sue Ellen's warm gaze illuminated by the moonlight from the window.

"Sue Ellen?" He murmured sleepily.

"Damn you … you win," she softly whispered as she looked down on him for a long moment. "I can't get you out of my head, just like you planned. But don't you dare think I'm giving into you. This is only one night. One night like you said … one night we can just need each other. Nothing more, J.R. No promises ... no regrets."

Still dazed from sleep, he was spellbound by both her presence and words. Was she real or were his dreams leading him into an empty promise? He didn't dare move, didn't dare touch her fearing she would fade away. Then she reached out and stroked his cheek with the backside of her fingers, drawing them up to lightly trace the outline of the bandage on his forehead.

She was no dream.

The first few seconds of close contact with J.R. always caused a flood of anxiety, the kind that constricted Sue Ellen's throat, made her nerves tingle as though she were about to dive head first out of an airplane without a parachute. Panic set in. This was crazy. She shouldn't be there.

Then she looked down at her sleepy ex-husband and the dull, empty ache inside hit her again. She no longer wanted the cold, useless comfort revenge offered. She could no longer tolerate the empty bed she had imprisoned herself in since Nicholas' death. Earlier, when J.R. had pinned her to the wall, her senses had reawakened and her body once again demanded contact. The kind she had denied herself for so long. The kind only one man could give her. The kind J.R. was master of.

It had been so long since the last time they touched. They had both inflicted new scars on each other's souls with dark, terrible moments of retaliation. How could two people who were so attracted to each other make each other so miserable? Beyond the stupidity and unhappiness of their past, the inexplicable, unconditional hunger for him answered from the shadows, tightly gripping her stomach with need. Would it never stop? Would it never release her, let her find the same release in another man's arms?

Forgive me, Nicholas, she silently pleaded as she slowly stretched out along her ex-husband's side.

With her mouth slightly opened, she lightly ran her lips down J.R.'s jaw, teasing his skin with only fleeting touches, occasionally allowing her nose to caress him. The faint scent of his aftershave, the salty-sweet taste of his skin, the difference in the smooth skin of his cheekbone and the short stubble of beard on his jaw … it was all so achingly familiar even after so much time apart.

The overwhelming need to touch him soon followed. She ran her fingers through his soft, silver hair before allowing them to drift to the sensitive skin behind his ear, her lips mirroring her touch on the other side, both tracing down to the distinct features of his jaw.

She withdrew enough to look down on him again, to look into his eyes. Those eyes that could slice through her heart. For such a pale, enigmatic color they could tell her so much, let her see behind the many masks he wore. When finalizing a deal the pale blue muted to the hue of cold stainless steel. When pleased with himself the blue reminded her of a spring sky at Southfork. When provoked or impassioned, they became the deep silver-blue of a summer rainstorm.

The color they were now.

When her gaze dropped to his mouth, her expression intensified into a look of narrowly contained desire and J.R. felt his heart pound so hard in anticipation it rang in his ears. Could she hear it beating?

Now fully awake, knowing she wasn't just a dream that would disappear, J.R. wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her. Let her bring him back to life with her touch, pull him back from the brink of being forever encased in a tomb of unfeeling, uncaring ice. But more importantly, he wanted her right there with him, wanting him as much as he wanted her.

He sensed her doubt, saw in her eyes the mental battle she was both trying to cover and fight. She wanted him yet she didn't want to give in to him. He also sensed it frightened her. For that, he vowed to take extra care to woo her, win her over, take her to that place where she would abandon her fear and only feel. God, it would be a pleasure to do so. But he waited.

The choice had to be hers.

Sue Ellen knew she was staring at his mouth but couldn't stop. Oh, how she wanted to kiss him. Kiss him the way he often kissed her, the way it would make it difficult for him to breath or even remember his own name. But she hesitated. If she kissed him, that would be it. There would be no turning back.

No, the kiss would have to wait. There were other things … safer things … she could to do to him first. She slowly moved her hand over his chest and focused her attention on the buttons of his dress shirt. She fingered one button, toying with the smooth surface and connecting material then slipped it free. The same routine was repeated for each button until she could go no further. Then she slipped her hand under the material, onto the bare skin of his chest.

The contact made an uncontrollable jolt run through J.R. and Sue Ellen grinned mischievously as his breathing accelerated. There was an amusingly perverse pleasure in the way her cool fingers made the muscles under his warm skin jump.

With difficulty, J.R. willed himself back into control of his senses.

Although her touch had nearly drowned him, the emotions playing in her eyes as she concentrated on undoing the buttons still held him captive. She was so beautiful … in every way. The deep, dark eyes … the infuriating, sexy mouth. Would he never grow tired of looking into those eyes that held so much mystery? Would he go to his grave still wanting to kiss that mouth? Why had he wasted so much time on superficial girls when such a full-blooded woman was always within reach?

It was like he was seeing her in a whole new way. Everything about her now seemed so profound. She was so intelligent … so cultured … so sexy … so special. He had never been clearer about anything as he was about her at that moment. Now by some stroke of luck she was giving him the chance to show her.

He would make this night last as long as possible. Until morning. Until they grew old together. Until it no longer mattered. But with the way he felt at the moment, it would always matter. One or the other of them would probably die while in bed together, most likely from pure exhaustion. He nearly laughed out loud. It would probably be him.

What a way to go.

As if reading his mind, Sue Ellen stopped to smile seductively at him. She knew what he thinking, what he wanted. She wanted it, too. And with that decision came the desire to hold nothing back from him. But she wouldn't be dominated.

He was damn well going to remember she had come to him tonight.

When she quickly pulled away, J.R. whimpered, thinking she had changed her mind and would leave. Instead, what she did left him unable to think. Sue Ellen slowly pulled the sheer black slip she was wearing up over her stomach and chest, prolonging the reveal of her body much as she had done at the pool that morning only in reverse. The effect was much more devastating. This reveal made her even more beautiful as each part of her nearly naked body came into view highlighted simply by the moonlight. When the silky material finally slipped free over her arms and head, she shook out her hair leaving J.R. stunned.

How could anything he knew so well still hold both his mind and body hostage?

The way his hungry gaze touched each part of her generated a deep division of feelings inside Sue Ellen. She was victorious that she could still so obviously win him over simply with her body. But she was also fully aroused by the heat in his eyes that was equaled only by the way she knew he could touch her … would be touching her soon.

She needed that touch now.

Reaching over to him, she took his hand and intertwined her fingers with his before guiding him to the sensitive skin between her hip and lower stomach. Feeling his hand frozen beneath hers, her dark eyes locked on his light ones, momentarily amused by the surprised eagerness she found in his expression before her own gaze issued the erotic dare she had started with her hands. She wanted more.

It was the invitation he had been waiting for.

When Sue Ellen sensually flinched at the first move of his hand, J.R. felt empowered. His hand moved upwards with a deliberate, frustrating thoroughness, stroking her naked skin until stopped only by black lace. Then he retraced the same path down again. It was the kind of teasing touch he knew would both weaken and excite her, just as it was doing to him. So much for the foolish pride in his superior self-control where women were concerned. Nearly losing control simply by touching her would have been aggravating if it hadn't felt so damn good.

Yet this would only be the beginning.

Every place his hands were on her, every way he touched her, it felt like her skin both ignited and shivered. Tolerating the sensations as long as possible, Sue Ellen finally stopped him by once again taking his hand in hers, removing it from her skin before gradually sinking down against him again, enjoying the full length of his body against her own. All she wanted now was to rediscover the same sensation he had just enjoyed and experienced … the feel of his skin under her own hands.

Continuing where she left off with his shirt, she gently tugged on the material until it slipped free of his waistband. She then pushed back the soft fabric while tracing maddening lines across each patch of skin as it was exposed. When she reached his shoulder, he flinched so slightly it could have gone unnoticed but she knew the reactions of J.R.'s body almost better than her own and pleasure hadn't induced that flinch. His shoulder. She had nearly forgotten he was hurt.

She carefully pushed the shirt further away, making the damage inflicted on him by the tornado now faintly visible in the light from the window. Even in the semi-darkness, the angry reds and purples that surrounded the nearly-healed wounds made her gasp. She had no idea it was so bad.

The true significance of what he had done finally hit her. He had done more than pull her to safety that day. He had chosen the greater sacrifice, placed his own life before hers then withstood immense physical pain because of it. And he had uncharacteristically asked for nothing in return.

Suddenly the way he had previously shared his affection in trivial, thoughtless affairs rather than giving himself exclusively to her no longer mattered. She now had something none of the other women did. J.R. now bore the scars that showed her place in his heart.

The decision to be with him tonight suddenly felt so right.

J.R. had worried about her reaction to his injury. Now he found himself soothed by the smoldering tenderness in her expression and touch. The dull ache in his shoulder that had bothered him since leaving the hospital seemed less. When she lowered her head to lightly kiss the bruises, it was completely forgotten.

The sweet gesture sent a fierce, possessive pulse through his body. It has been a long time since he wanted a woman as much as he wanted the lady lying across his chest. She had been right earlier. Sex lately had been more of a routine than anything he really gained any pleasure from. But looking down at Sue Ellen now, he knew what he was feeling was anything but routine.

A wild gentleness about her pumped through his blood and coiled in every muscle including his heart. The arrogance that ruled him at times, especially with her, deserted him, replaced by a deep affection he had never experienced before. There had been no alternative to saving her the day of the storm because living without her would have been impossible.

She was all he wanted.

Sensing the sudden tension in him, moved beyond words at the pain he had obviously endured, Sue Ellen looked up at him once again, tears now shining in her eyes. When her gaze locked with his, the connection they had both shunned the past year flashed between them once more, stronger than it had ever been, leaving them both overwhelmed.

In the space of one short week, they had experienced unimaginable danger and pain yet made it through. It had reconnected them on a level neither ever expected, put them together at this moment like nothing could have done. Sue Ellen finally understood why the past year had been so brutal. Living without him, fighting against him so hard … it had left her soul half empty. Soul mates divided by self-serving games and lies, reunited by an act of God.

They had been through hell together. They had survived together. It was finally time to celebrate being alive together.

Not wanting to startle her, J.R. slowly reached out to Sue Ellen. When she let him stroke her cheek, tiny shivers of anticipation pulsed down his spine. He then looped one long, dark strand of her hair through his fingers, enjoying the way it felt, the way he had secretly fantasized about it feeling for months. Needing more, he fully laced all his fingers into it while gently guiding her head towards him. He rested his mouth against the corner of her eye and lightly kissed it before gradually trailing his lips down over her porcelain cheekbone to the firm line of her jaw.

Fearing this would be the last time, that she would never come to him like this again yet needing to give her all the reasons she should, J.R. silently promised to truly show her what she meant to him. If that made him vulnerable, so be it. He had missed her, more than he even imagined possible. Missed the way simply having her close made everything bad tolerable and everything good better. If only this night would remind her of how good they were together, maybe she would give him another chance.

The last of so many.

Sue Ellen had resented the way J.R. had been so blatant about wanting her since the tornado. Yet there was something about him now that said he needed her more than in just a sexual way. It was in his touch, so gentle yet demanding. It was in his eyes, the way the hunger in the ice blue fire burned her, making her whole body tighten. It was like no other woman existed for him.

No other woman did.

Giving her no time to think about withdrawing again, J.R. brushed his lips against hers in soft, teasing glances until finally bringing her fully against him. With a great deal of satisfaction, he felt a sigh choke in her throat as he deepened the kiss. Slowly. Methodically. Just enough to taste her, allow her to taste him, offering a hesitation that would let her control how far they went.

It left her feeling resistance was no longer possible … or needed.

When she softened and parted her lips, Sue Ellen gladly enticed the possessive way J.R. soon claimed her mouth. She was no longer afraid, knew he had no intention of dominating her. Instead, he was showing her how much she belonged to him ... with him. And she countered by shifting against him, molding her body against his the same way their mouths were now so perfectly fitted. The effect generated a passionate combination of mutual need and urgency that made them both shake.

With one kiss, they both challenged then conquered each other all over again.

The deeply repressed emotions that had been exposed in front of the mirror that day in his bedroom at Southfork then amplified by the tornado surged between them again, making everything they were feeling intensify to the point of pain. It was combined with a need for each other stronger than it had ever been before. When J.R. suddenly seized control, Sue Ellen was on her back, underneath him, his body covering hers before she could protest. The unexpected show of power would have frightened her only moments before but now she welcomed it. There was no other choice.

It felt too good to fight.

She desperately wanted him … wanted all of him … because there were no more doubts, no more worries. Even if he would never say the words, she learned everything she needed to know from his eyes. It was no longer hidden. It was no longer being denied. He loved her and belonged to her completely.

If only for that moment.

The time for gentle seduction was gone. They both wanted nothing more separating them. Skin to skin, soul to soul, like they had been so many times before. Like they had never experienced with any other person.

It still felt as electrifying as the first time all those years ago. It had simmered during alternating years of undivided attention and neglect, had always been lurking right under the surface until close contact made it impossible to resist or ignore. Every touch, every kiss was felt everywhere. Demands that couldn't be voiced because it was difficult enough just to breathe yet were understood and felt in every way. Unknown points of pleasure rediscovered and explored by each other. Heights of arousal never attained before that moment. Could a heart beat any faster or a brain be anymore disengaged yet the body still feel so alive?

It was the most simple, the most complicated form of communication of all. That moment when touch demonstrates need, when attraction merges two souls, when two bodies meet and counter each other, allowing both to find and lose themselves in a way only they could understand but without the confusion of words. All that mattered was everything finally felt right again when they were wrapped around each other.

It was the perfect antithesis to the difficult year apart.

When J.R.'s body finally relaxed, still so flawlessly fitted against hers, he protectively wrapped his arms around her. Smiling at the possessiveness of the embrace, her own body relaxed and Sue Ellen shifted slightly, cradling him in return, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder, his forehead against her cheek.

This was J.R. in her arms. The real J.R. Not the arrogant oil baron. Not the secretive, superficial ladies man who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Here with her like this, all his ridiculous "man's man" facades inherited with the Ewing name fell away and she was left with the person she had fallen in love with so long ago.

As their breathing slowed, she lovingly stroked his injured arm and shoulder. She had felt the weakness his injuries had racked his body with yet he had held nothing back from her … pleasured her in ways she had never experienced or even imagined. It had been the most intimate, enlightening moment of her life. And it was J.R. The man she thought she hated. The man she had tried to kill. The man she had vowed to ruin. He was really there in her arms. And with the exception of John Ross, she had never felt more protective of anyone in her life.

Nearly an hour passed but neither slept. They stayed wrapped in each others arms, their legs still entwined, maintaining as much contact as possible. For two people who were known as such great communicators, neither could find the words to express all the thoughts running through their hearts and minds. Instead, unhurried strokes and kisses explained what neither shared verbally. And it started all over again, this time maddeningly slow and sweet as they relearned all the things that pleased each other.

After fighting off the effect for days, both were now left amazed by how one day, one moment could change everything. The tornado had shaken them up, turned their lives inside out, forced them onto a whole new level of their relationship, one there was no turning back from. But instead of running away from it, they had finally faced it together and found there was no were else they wanted to be.

If only for one night.


	21. Chapter 21

Wild Is The Wind, Part 21

Later the next morning, Sue Ellen sat at her desk, staring out the window over the Dallas skyline, mentally drifting away from the letter she had been dictating. After dropping John Ross off at school and meeting with his teachers to make sure his transition back would be as smooth as possible, she had come straight to the office. She now berated herself for being such a coward.

Once the need that consumed her last night had cooled back to normal levels, a nagging apprehension settled in and bothered her even now. It was why she had left J.R. before dawn, not wanting to be at his side when he woke up. She hadn't known what to say to him … or what he would say to her. What was there to say? They hadn't spoken all night, at least not with words, but she had never been so deeply affected or totally confused by anything or anyone before. And it was J.R. who had done it.

She sighed. So much for her rock-solid plans for revenge and hating him. She should still hate him. She couldn't possibly love him. She would never trust him again. Yet no man had ever made her feel as good as he had last night.

Looking back, returning to his bed even if for a single night had been a stupid thing to do. It was supposed to be a few hours to make them both feel better, let them get past the ghosts of attraction the tornado had so viciously flung back at them. That was all. But what happened from their first moment of contact was anything but stupid. It had changed them both. She hadn't planned on needing him … needing him so much it physically ached until he touched her. And he had sensed it, given her everything she wanted and so much more. How was it possible that he still held the secret combination that unlocked both her body and soul?

It was why her thoughts were now consumed with him … the deep, unhidden passion in his eyes only hours ago … the way he said her name against her lips when he had taken her … the way the moonlight highlighted the sheen of his skin in the afterglow …

"Mrs. Ewing?" Kelly nervously called out after her boss stopped in the middle of a sentence in the letter she was dictating. There was a far-off look on Sue Ellen's face, a cross between sadness and love. Kelly had seen that look often since Nicholas Pearce died and it still worried her. She called out again. "Mrs. Ewing, are you all right?"

Brought back to reality by the sound of her name, Sue Ellen looked over at her secretary.

"Yes, Kelly?"

"Are you all right? You stopped in the middle of a sentence."

"I did? Oh, I am so sorry." Sue Ellen replied, a faint blush tinting her cheeks as she realized what she had done. Daydreaming about J.R. … she really had lost control. "I didn't get much sleep last night." Finding it difficult to come up with any other adequate explanation, she stopped trying. She looked at the girl across from her and smiled. "Kelly, would you mind if we took the rest of the day off then started again in the morning?"

Kelly returned her smile. "Not at all. There are no appointments that can't be rearranged." She stood up. "I'll take care of it. Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you. Just enjoy the rest of the day and close the door on the way out, will you?"

"Yes, ma'am."

As Kelly approached the door, she was startled when the tall figure of J.R. appeared. The other day he had been friendly, even charming when she walked him to the cab. Yet there was still something about him that made her very uneasy.

He entered the office, hat in hand, purposefully smiling at Kelly before looking over at Sue Ellen. "Mornin', ladies."

"Good morning, Mr. Ewing," Kelly coolly remarked before looking back at her boss, expecting to see a flash of temper or irritation in her expression. But it wasn't there. If anything, Sue Ellen seemed transfixed, only seeing the man at the door.

Sitting in her office behind her desk, in front of her secretary, fully clothed and twenty feet away from him, Sue Ellen realized as soon as their gazes locked it was happening again. With a simple look J.R. reclaimed her. Stronger than ever … deeper, more intimate than even last night. … impossible to explain …beyond hope of anyone understanding, including her. It made her realize with an equal amount of fear, resignation and excitement that making love to anyone else would never be the same again.

Making love. What a silly, outdated expression for what happened between them. Yet the clinical term of sex didn't quite cover it. Sex was mechanics. Even though last night was supposed to be exactly that, what happened had turned into so much more. Attraction … need … a fusion too hot and intense to resist. Sue Ellen inwardly groaned. God, she was waxing poetic about a man she had run away from not more than few hours ago simply because she didn't know what to say to him. And the way J.R. suddenly grinned at her … deliciously slow, deliberately setting all her nerves on fire … she knew he understood. Damn him.

Seemingly forgotten, Kelly observed the looks that passed between the two. Looks difficult to miss. It was like an entire conversation full of thoughts and emotions yet conveyed simply through their eyes.

Something had happened between them. The young secretary would have staked her job on it. Plus J.R. no longer seemed so threatening to his ex-wife. His condescending demeanor had vanished practically overnight and Kelly realized the great oil baron had somehow been thoroughly tamed. From the way he was looking at her, it had most likely been by her boss. Kelly smiled as her admiration for the lady instantly doubled.

"Will there be anything else, Mrs. Ewing?" Kelly politely asked, now feeling distinctly out of place and looking for a discreet exit.

Sue Ellen shook her head, forcing her eyes from J.R. "No, Kelly … that will be all."

As the young girl exited and closed the door, Sue Ellen looked back at J.R. and waited, purposefully increasing the tension between them. She knew she had to stay seated, knew her legs probably wouldn't work if she stood up because of the way they trembled at the moment, but mentally she forced herself to remain calm.

"So," she innocently said, trying to overcome the sudden dryness of her mouth. "What brings you to my office?"

J.R. chuckled. "Don't you try and play that game with me, honey … I taught it to you. But if you really wanna know why I'm here it's 'cause I've been havin' one hell of time this mornin', tryin' to figure out how I'm gonna sleep from now on without you there next to me."

"J.R.," she weakly tried to protest, her feeble defenses destroyed by his simple yet deep observation.

"I know, I know," he replied, holding up his hand. "You told me it was just one night and I'll accept that. But it didn't make wakin' up and findin' you gone any easier."

"I took John Ross to school early. I wanted the chance to talk to his teachers."

"Did you, now?" J.R. said with mock understanding while trying to hold back a grin.

Sue Ellen realized it was hopeless trying to placate him and stopped trying. "All right," she said with a heavy sigh. "Leaving you this morning was difficult for me, too. Happy now?"

"Hmmmmmm … happy," J.R. wondered aloud as he approached her desk, carelessly placing his cowboy hat on the stack of papers she had been going over. "That's not exactly what it makes me. When I woke up and found you gone, I really had to wonder if I'd been dreamin'. How'd you get away from me?"

Sue Ellen grudgingly smiled. "It wasn't too difficult. I know a thing or two about how to handle you."

"You surely do." J.R. grinned, amused at his own double-meaning. But the more he looked at her, the more the feelings of the previous night returned, making him drop the false, care-free façade. "At the risk of soundin' sappy … last night was amazin', darlin'."

"Don't, J.R.," she gently pleaded. "Don't say things like that when I'm trying to convince myself that it should have never happened … should never happen again."

"Why shouldn't it?"

"You know why."

J.R. sat down on the corner of her desk then reached over and took her hand, beckoning for her to stand up. She hesitated then finally did and he rewarded her by sliding his hands around her waist, pulling her firmly against him.

With her standing above him, looking up at her, the impulse to pull her into a kiss was difficult to fight but he knew he was already close to overstepping the fragile boundaries she had already started to rebuild around herself.

"Sue Ellen," he gently replied in the deep, aroused voice only she could generate. "If we are so bad for each other why does it feel so good bein' together?" He traced his hands over her hips to reinforce his statement and with a great deal of satisfaction he felt her tremble. "Did you really mean it," he slowly drawled, intentionally enticing her, "about last night only bein' for one night?"

"Yes." She adamantly replied.

J.R. slowly grinned up at her. "Then how do you feel about afternoons?"

Sue Ellen was finding it difficult to think as he leisurely traced circles on her hips with his thumbs. "It's, uh … non-negotiable."

"Non-negotiable." He whispered against her neck, his voice trailing off into a sigh as he gently pressed a kiss into the sensitive hollow of her throat. "And there's nothin' I can do to change your mind?"

His question was asked more as a gentle tease, the words breathed against her skin as he planted feather-light kisses along her neck. When she said nothing, J.R. couldn't contain his grin, enjoying the way his touch caused goosebumps to jump out all over her skin. He loved this part of seducing her, the moment when she fought to control her reaction to the things he did to her even though he could feel her succumbing. But what he loved most was how much she enjoyed it when the tables were turned and he was at her mercy.

"Nothing." Sue Ellen finally said, her own voice now just a whisper. She resented the way the ridiculously simple protestation sounded and the adolescent tremble with which it had been issued. However, any other concerns were obliterated as J.R. lightly ran his lips up her neck to her ear. The contact was only fleeting yet unmercifully teased her with promises of what could be. She momentarily gained control of her rational thoughts and tried to protest once again. "J.R., I don't think …"

"Then don't think."

His breath was warm against her ear, followed by a gentle nip that sent an erotic shock pulsing down the length of her body to places still so sensitive, still so in tune to him. The strength left her legs, making her wilt against him for support. She wished she was lying down … lying down with him. But even though she was completely at his mercy, she still struggled to resist.

"We can't," she whispered.

"We will."

"What happened last night …"

"Was wonderful."

"No. I mean … yes. I mean no! We can't … I can't let it happen it again."

J.R. secretly enjoyed her confusion. He was winning and quickly refocused on seducing her, whispering once again against her ear. "I want you."

It was such a simple, demanding request it totally captivated her. Desire shoved all other rational thought away and Sue Ellen finally welcomed the sensual defeat instead of resenting it.

The kiss she gave him was long, slow, and so tempting, acting like a drug on his brain, taking away his ability to think of anything but her. What a sexy woman she was … a woman so feminine her ability to seduce was like a gift. The sweetest gift ever. But who was seducing whom?

He smiled, chuckled deep in his throat, and it intensified their kiss. Sue Ellen was the only woman who could make him both instantaneously want her and want to give up everything he owned just to have her. How had he ever denied what she could give him ... what she could do to him ... for so long?

It wasn't enough. He had to have more of her. He took control of their kiss with very little resistance, slowing the pace down until it was intentionally deep and rhythmical. Just the way he knew she liked it ... the way he loved her to respond.

It would be so easy to seduce her right there, on the desk where she had plotted Mandy's demise through Valentines ... where she had bested him in the oil business by taking away West Star … something no woman had even done. It would be so easy to do and feel so damn good doing it. But no. The next time he seduced her ... and there was no longer any doubt there would be a next time ... it had to be in bed ... in her bed. It was the only other place except their bed at Southfork where she would truly be his again. So for now, he would settle for just kissing her.

Sue Ellen knew his every intention, felt the way he was controlling and manipulating her, but she no longer cared. Understanding him gave her the edge ... and the ultimate control over him ... so it no longer mattered who did what. All that did matter was that they somehow continue because he was right ... it did feel too good to stop and there was no way either of them could live without this anymore.

When she finally lifted her head, their breathing was hard and fast, mixing in such a deliciously intimate way she couldn't help but grin. She had finally mastered the master, made it so he clearly understood the fire in his blood was because of what she did to him. But oh, giving in to him ... allowing him to generate the same kind of response in her ... it now felt equally good. And they were equals now, in every sense of the word. Their connection had finally overcome their fight to resist it.

"Take me home, Sue Ellen," he whispered against her lips.

"No," she shakily replied, reluctantly pulling back from him. "There are too many things we need to discuss first."

"Let's discuss them later … in your bed."

Sue Ellen inhaled deeply, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach. "No, we need to discuss them now while I'm still rational."

J.R. finally stopped and looked up at her. "That sounds serious."

She nodded. "It is. But I don't want it to be." She gently stroked his face, tracing her fingertips over his jaw. "If we're going to be together … we have to keep it uncomplicated."

"It's a little late for that, isn't it, honey?"

"No. I don't want promises or expectations, J.R., and you're in no position to offer either one. So we need to keep things simple between us."

"Simple?" He asked, clearly disappointed. Simple was the last thing he wanted things to be between them. "That sounds like casual to me … casual as in affair." She nodded and J.R. frowned. "That kinda talk is what a married woman says when she's lookin' for somethin' extra on the side."

Sue Ellen shrugged her shoulders. "And who would know that better than you?"

"Why, Sue Ellen?" J.R. asked, trying to ignore her cutting comment even as he found it difficult to control his temper because of it. "Why do you keep puttin' on the brakes and handin' me phony rules like this? Is it because of Pearce … or Lockwood?"

Sue Ellen was surprised by his unexpected jealousy. Nicholas and Don hadn't been in her thoughts since early last night. The man in front of her had eclipsed them both and it was surprising how little that bothered her now. Even more surprising was J.R. thinking they were the reason for her reluctance to commit to him … until she realized why he said it.

"No, J.R.," she said, her tone softening considerably, "its not Nicholas or Don. And what I said last night about wishing it was you who died instead of Nicholas … that wasn't true. I'll admit it was at one time, but after you lost consciousness in the storm cellar, it scared me so much it made me realize seeing you dead wouldn't have solved anything. It wouldn't have brought Nicholas back or righted all the times you hurt me." She sadly sighed. "No. If I had a wish it would be that night never happened."

"Me, too." J.R. slowly nodded, greatly relieved by her change of heart. "I never wanted him dead, you've gotta believe me."

"I do. But at the same time, it's a reminder of how truly destructive we are for each other. Without our games, Nicholas would still be alive."

"It was an accident, Sue Ellen."

"And what will we call it the next time we end up hurting each other … or someone else? Or more importantly, what if we hurt John Ross?" She dropped her arms from around his neck and took a few steps away from him. "No … we can't do this, J.R. Not even casually. No matter how good it feels to be with each other again, the risks are too great if we continue."

"Honey, how can there be risks if we finally make a proper home for our son, give him his mamma and his daddy under one roof so we can love him … and each other … together?"

She sadly shook her head. "And what if those turn out to be more false hopes and promises? He's had enough to last him a lifetime."

"Damn it, Sue Ellen," J.R. swore out of frustration "I wanna make this work between us this time. What's it gonna take to convince you I'm bein' sincere?"

"Two things you detest, my darlin' … patience and fidelity. And we both know you're incapable of either one."

Her challenge gave him the tiny ray of hope he had been looking for and he smiled. "The hell I am. You just watch how capable I am … of both."

"You make it sound so simple, like changing will be nothing more than what it takes to change your cowboy hat."

He slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her close once again. "You're gonna be amazed how simple it will be."

Sue Ellen blankly stared at him for a moment then reluctantly giggled. He always had been so incredibly stubborn once he set his sights on something. Now he was focused on her and John Ross she hoped he would succeed.

"Then we're back to casual until you prove yourself to me," she countered.

"Does casual mean you're gonna keep seein' Lockwood?"

Sue Ellen's smile increased at his continued jealousy. "That's none of your business."

"You mean to tell me that while you're testin' me I just have to sit back and watch as you go off with him like you did last night?"

"Would that bother you?"

"Damn straight it would!"

"Then the answer is yes."

J.R. finally realized she was teasing him and held back the caustic comment that sprang into his mind. Instead, he resigned himself with a sigh. "Patience and fidelity … patience and fidelity."

"Good!" Sue Ellen said with a laugh, making him laugh, too. "You really might be able to pull this off, J.R."

"You just keep on testin' me, honey … I'm ready for ya." He pulled her into another kiss then asked the question that had been bothering him since last night. "So what exactly happened between you and Lockwood last night?"

"That would also be none of your business," she whispered against the corner of his mouth. "But since I know you'll enjoy the answer, I'll tell you, anyway." She pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes. "He wanted nothing to do with me. Said he'd wait 'til I was over you."

J.R. chuckled wickedly. "Then I'll be sure to send him a 'thank you' note and hope he has a nice, long wait." His smile faded as he became serious again. "Are you over me, Sue Ellen? Is that the reason for all the toyin' you're doin' with me? I'm only askin' 'cause after what happened last night, I'm not sure I can live without you any more. I also don't think Lockwood can give you what you need."

"And you think you can?"

"You know I can." She looked away from him but he placed his thumb and finger under her chin, forcing her to look back at him. "Damn, woman. You are puttin' up one hell of a fight against me but I ain't buyin' it 'cause last night meant just as much to you as it did to me. I know it did. So call it destiny or insanity but we are meant to be together. Can't we at least try to build on what we've found the past week?" When she didn't respond, J.R. continued. "I want a place in your life, Sue Ellen. I want you and me and John Ross to be a family again. I know I haven't earned the right to even ask but I will earn it. Just give me this one last chance."

Sue Ellen thought her heart would stop at his gentle plea. He knew her so well. Knew all the things that meant so much to her, things that unlocked her happiness and always drew her back to him. And she did want him … wanted him so much. But she wanted him so much more than just physically. She wanted all of him, his mind and heart along with his body. Yet she sadly knew that was an impossible wish. Asking him for fidelity was like asking him to give up oil. The latter was in his blood unlike the other would never be.

"And what happens when you fail?"

"What happens when I succeed?"

Suddenly weary of the fight against him, she rested her forehead against his while attempting to gain some semblance of control of her emotions.

"I wish I could trust you," she whispered sincerely. "I wish last night could have lasted forever and I could open up my heart to you like that again and it would take us right through until happily ever after. But we're so far away from 1967, J.R. … so far from the naïve beauty queen and her charming beau." She looked down on him, studied him earnestly for several long seconds. "There is something so different about you now, though … something so good. It makes me want to surrender everything and stay here in your arms for the next 100 years."

J.R. gently kissed her forehead. "Then do it, honey. You won't regret it."

She softly smiled but there was sadness in her expression. "I already do."

"Sue Ellen, you know lovin' people has never been easy for me. Seems like love always came with a price tag I couldn't pay so I never tried. That's the way I thought my daddy lived his life, too. But could I have been any more wrong about him?" She was surprised by his admission and J.R. nodded, understanding her reaction. "Yes, I was wrong. I wasn't seein' the way he was with my mamma, was I? Nothin' and no one mattered more to him than she did and now I know why." He shifted, gently guiding her closer, bringing her into as much contact as possible with him. "Bein' with you last night ... everything felt so right … so good again. Nothin' comes close to bein' with you. And it makes me understand my daddy that much more 'cause all I wanna do now is make every moment I have left with you count, just like he did with Mamma."

J.R. tried to pull her into a kiss but Sue Ellen slipped her fingers up over his lips, stopping his advance.

"Except we aren't married, J.R. And you have a sweet, young girl waiting for you back at Southfork. Cally at least deserves an explanation about what's happened and she deserves to hear it from you, not Clayton or Miss Ellie."

"I know. I'll take care of it."

"Take care of it today. This morning, if possible."

"I wanna spend the rest of the morning with you."

"Now who's being casual, my darlin'?" She gently teased. "As tempting as it sounds, we won't solve anything in bed." Sue Ellen looked at him for a long moment before disengaging from him completely. "Besides, there is something I need to take care of this morning, too."

"What do you mean?" He asked, disappointed by her physical withdrawal.

"I need to show you something."

Her words sent a wave of dread through J.R. She was serious … very serious … and it worried him. "Why do I get the feelin' I'm not gonna like it?"

She slowly shook her head. "Because you won't … I can guarantee that." She held out her hand to him, beckoning him to take it. "Come with me."

J.R. stood up as he took her hand, frowning at the sudden turn of events that was taking him where he knew he didn't want to go. But holding her hand in his … maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he imagined.


	22. Chapter 22

_(Revised May 7, 2009)_

Wild Is The Wind, Part 22

Standing alone inside the cavernous sound stage only increased J.R.'s anxiety about the situation. The ride over to the movie studio hadn't taken long but was painfully silent while Sue Ellen seemed fixed on her driving. Now she had left him in the big, empty place to retrieve what she had brought him there to see.

J.R. couldn't figure out her connection to the studio. Sure, there was Lockwood … Mr. Hollywood. Also some slick hustler named Bruce Harvey, the one responsible for the trashy skin flicks Mandy Winger had so gladly taken on. It had all been part of Sue Ellen's plan to get her out of Dallas and out of his life. Or was there more to that now?

That thought made J.R. stop. Was Mandy the reason he was there? Had Sue Ellen brought her back to Dallas in some sort of plot for revenge against him? God help him if they teamed up together against him.

An echo of high heels on the concrete floor began to distantly sound throughout the sound stage and J.R. turned, greatly relieved to see Sue Ellen approaching … alone.

"This place gives me the creeps, Sue Ellen," he called out to her. "I thought they only made movies in Hollywood, not in the middle of Dallas."

"You'd be surprised how far the movie business reaches, J.R.," she said as she approached then stopped in front of him, presenting him with a book of sketches she had been carrying. "You might even say it reaches right up to your doorstep."

J.R. looked at her for a moment, confused by her meaning, then took the portfolio and opened it. Inside were detailed sketches of Southfork. The living room … the dining room … the foyer and staircase … even their bedrooms.

"What's all this then?" He asked, still not understanding the purpose of the sketches.

"Those are the plans that are ready to go to the set builders. You see, Southfork is about to be recreated right here, right where you're standing, right down to the finest detail." She looked around and motioned to the building surrounding them. "This studio, J.R. … the sound stages, the office buildings, even the guard that greeted us at the gate … it's all mine. I bought it after I sold Valentines."

"Why on earth would you wanna get involved in the phony business of makin' movies?"

"It's simple, really," she replied matter-of-factly. "I'm in the process of making a movie about my life as Mrs. J.R. Ewing. It's how I met Don. He's not only my director, he's also writing the script. And that's why I brought him to your wedding that day, so he could see Southfork … and you … then recreate it all for me."

"Why?"

It was a shorter version of question he had just asked but this time it was much more subdued while being even more pointed, tinged with both anger and pain.

Sue Ellen sensed the thinly controlled emotion in him but she was surprisingly unafraid and continued.

"I wanted to embarrass you, J.R. … humiliate you with the film. It was something you would have no control over or have any chance of stopping. And I was going to release it to theaters throughout Texas … maybe even the country. That's how much I hated you."

"And how 'bout now?" He tightly replied, realizing he was still waiting to hear the real reason she had brought him to the studio and revealed her hand.

"Now?" She echoed back at him. "Now I'm seeing what a vengeful, mean-spirited person I've become and I resent the hell out of it." With each sentence, her voice gained power, making her sound even more resolute and convincing. "It's time we stop this endless cycle we've fallen into … this vicious, repetitive love/hate relationship of ours. I mean it, J.R.! We either find a way … right now! … to exist peacefully … or I'm taking John Ross and getting as far away from Dallas and you as possible. Because I swear to you, I am not going to live like this anymore and our son will no longer be witness to us caring more about destroying each other than loving him."

The conviction of her words left J.R. without a response. What could he say? She was right. And after a long pause, he finally nodded and quietly replied.

"I agree."

"So, what are we going to do about it?" She asked, expecting a fight.

He looked over at her for a moment longer as he searched his mind for something more to tell her, something that would finally convince her that he was with her, that putting John Ross first was the most important thing right now, and that the only things he truly gave a damn about were her and their son. But there were no words to describe all he was feeling … anger, resentment, fear … and love. Love like he had felt last night with her in his arms again. Love like he had never felt before.

Dropping the book of sketches on the floor in an intentionally careless manner, a loud "slap" rang out as J.R. went over to her. Sue Ellen thought he might slap her. Instead, he held her gaze, never flinched from the intensity still in her eyes as he brought his hands up to frame her face. Bending down, he captured her mouth with his in a long, deliberate kiss. She resisted but the more he coaxed her, the more she opened up until she was breathless and all her arguments were gone except one.

"None of what I've shown you matters?" She whispered against his lips, surprised at the love his was offering instead of the anger she had planned on.

"Oh, it matters," he gently replied. "It shows me just how far I was pushing you. Threatening you. Forcing you into things you didn't want to do. But no more, Sue Ellen … no more." He stroked her face then lightly kissed her again. "All I want to do now is love you, honey. So, take me home. Take me back to your bed. Let me show you. I'll take care of Cally and everything else … I promise. But it will have to wait a little bit longer 'cause I need you … need to show you what really matters to me. More than anything else right now."

He kissed her again, this time with a ferocity that would have frightened her if she hadn't been feeling the same level of need. But she broke away from him before it escalated further.

"All right then," she said, suddenly wanting everything he was offering as she took his hand to lead him to the door. "Let's go."

As they excited out the large metal door, it loudly slammed shut behind them and the sound stage fell silent once more until a creak of wood and the sound of footsteps floated down from above.

Don Lockwood appeared out of the shadows where he had been checking cable setups on the catwalk above the stage. He looked down at the door, still trying to process all he had just seen and heard then he shook his head and smiled.

"Bloody hell," he muttered to himself. "These yanks are mental."


	23. Chapter 23

Wild Is The Wind, Part 23

J.R. opened the door to Sue Ellen's mansion and watched as she silently glided past him. Once again, she had hardly spoken to him in the car but this time was different. With every passing mile away from the movie studio, despite her declaration of wanting to spend the afternoon with him, he had felt her withdraw farther and farther away.

J.R. mirthlessly smiled as he shut the door behind them. "You know, darlin' … even though you never did it very often, when you'd holler and throw things at me, it never scared me half as much as when you're quiet like this."

Sue Ellen turned back to him, silently studying him for several long moments. He was still so attractive … and charming … probably more so at that moment than she had ever known him to be. But the way she was losing herself to him again with such wild abandon was suddenly terrifying.

She had decided during the ride back from the movie studio that she had to stop giving into him so easily. If she didn't, she knew she would fall for him again and that was too dangerous. Because even after what they had shared the past few days, even after all the promises he'd made earlier in her office, he was still capable of destroying her, just like he had done so many times before.

"You havin' second thoughts?" He asked sincerely, unintentionally reading her mind.

"I'm just not sure where we're headed, J.R." She quietly said. "It was arrogant of me to think we could keep things casual between us."

"We movin' too fast for you?" He cautiously offered. "'Cause if so, we can slow down."

Now it was her turn to smile mirthlessly. "I'm not so sure. Not more than 10 days ago, I hated you, wanted you to pay for all you had done. Now I've agreed to spend the afternoon with you like nothing else matters."

"Nothing else does matter," he softly coaxed with a sweet smile. "Last night …"

"Last night was wonderful," she quickly countered before he could finish. "But what about Cally? Now I'm the 'other woman' and she is the one you are being unfaithful to. That stings, J.R. It really does. Because the last thing I want to be is another one of your mistresses."

"My mistress?" The disdain of both the word and the way she had used it bothered J.R. a great deal. "Don't say that, Sue Ellen. That's not how it is between us."

"Oh, that's exactly how it is between us with your wife at home at Southfork while you are here with me."

"We've been over this before," he replied tightly, realizing he had probably lost any chance of being with her that day. "Cally is not my wife. I may have been forced to marry the girl with a shotgun at my back but no marriage is ever gonna make her my wife."

"And that attitude is what worries me." Sue Ellen wearily argued. "It sounds so much like the callous J.R. I learned to despise because if it hadn't been for the tornado, you would have willingly married Cally again and would be with her right now."

"But the tornado did happen," J.R. calmly countered. "It made me realize that where I wanna be is right here with you. Not with Cally … not at Southfork. With you."

The honesty of his reply left her without an answer. When she cast her eyes down, finding it difficult to look at him, it made her long, dark hair drape dramatically over one eye. J.R. lifted up his hand and lightly brushed his fingers through her tumbled hair, guiding it back behind her ear before cupping her chin to make her look at him again.

"I know you're havin' doubts and a healthy dose of cold feet," he gently told her. "I can understand that. But you've already followed me through hell and back. Don't leave me now just when I'm finally tryin' to do right by you."

"If I don't," she replied, her voice tight with emotion. "I'm afraid I'll lose me all over again." She resented the tears that were stinging her eyes even as she tightly gripped his hand and held it against her face. "Last night you made me feel so good … made me feel things again I thought were gone forever. Like I'm special and really mean something to you."

"Don't you ever doubt that, honey."

"Except it is going to turn out the same, J.R. It won't be long before you find someone new then you'll turn on me, like you always do. And I can't stand another bout of your resentment just because I dared to love you."

Her words hit him hard. "That won't ever happen again. This time …"

"It will be different?" She quickly responded, finishing his sentence. She shook her head and lowered his hand. "No, my love … it won't be different. It will be just the same and soon I'll be running a distant third behind oil and the next pretty face that catches your eye. And if I have to settle for only a small part of you again …" She paused before continuing. "Then I don't want anything to do with you at all."

The determined finality of her statement was sobering. J.R. couldn't lose her now. Refused to lose her. Not after all they had been through. There had to be a way to compromise with her, gain the time he so desperately needed to prove that he was sincere.

"Sue Ellen," he desperately said, dropping all pretenses, "all I'm askin' for is time to prove what I've been sayin' to you is true. And I'm not foolin' myself, I know I can't do it in one afternoon. But honey, what I'm offerin' you is a whole lot of lovin' minus the hurt. Hang in there with me."

"Damn you," she uttered. "You keep talking about chances and how you want to prove things to me."

"And I've meant every word!"

"But I've seen you talk your way into and out of so many things, J.R. That's why I'm having such a hard time believing you've changed."

"Who said anything about changin'?" He defiantly responded. "I don't want to change. I'll be the same ol' J.R. I've always been and will be 'til the day I die. But that doesn't mean I can't wise up where you are concerned. Almost losin' you made me realize it's you I wanna be with … just you. And all I'm askin' for is some time to show you I mean it." Then he tried to smile, hoping to lighten up both her mood and his. "But if you wanna take the easy way out, then go to Lockwood. Or hell, give Bobby a call! He's in between women right now. I'm sure he'd be happy to bore you to tears."

"J.R. … !" Came her exasperated cry.

"Stick with me, darlin'," J.R. added, no longer teasing her. "I know you, I know all the things you like. And I'm bettin' there is a whole lot more I can learn. I'd sure love to try. Just give me one more chance."

"One more chance …" she skeptically echoed before pausing to study him once again. His logic was insufferable but in a way, his offer was tempting. Not only for her but for John Ross as well. "You're not going to give me a moment's peace until I do, are you?"

"No, ma'am." J.R. replied with a soft smile, pleasantly surprised by her unexpected attempt at humor and the hope she might be considering his request.

"And exactly how long would this second chance last? A day? A week? A month?"

"How 'bout the rest of our lives?"

Sue Ellen looked at him skeptically. "How about six months? Monogamy should be wearing thin on you by then."

"Then how 'bout I back it up with a ring? Marry me, Sue Ellen."

"You are already married. Besides, I am never going to marry anyone again. Especially not to you."

"We'll see about that," he said, his grin now mischievous. "And I'm gonna start right now. As much I don't want to, I'm gonna leave, get myself back to Southfork and start settin' things right with Cally and everyone else. 'Cause you are gonna marry me again. And this time it's gonna be for keeps."

Sue Ellen sighed heavily, feeling both dazed and exhausted. Loving him took so much energy but love him she did and admitting that to herself was liberating. It certainly was easier than trying to fight him off.

"We'll see about that," she repeated back to him with a tired smile.

J.R. renewed his grin, knew things with her might just be starting to turn his way. And he had a feeling proving himself to her and winning her back was going to be the most fun he'd ever had. No matter how long it took.

He looked at her longingly. "How 'bout comin' on over here and kissin' me before I go?"

Sue Ellen defiantly folded her arms across her chest. "From now on, I don't kiss married men."

"Oh, wonderful." J.R. groaned but reluctantly smiled. "You sure are gettin' a charge outta jerkin' my chain today, aren't ya?"

Sue Ellen walked over to him and patted him on his good shoulder then turned him toward the door. "You go on back to Southfork and decide what you're going to do with Cally. And it damn well better be nice, J.R. Then we will talk more about second chances and kissing and everything else."

J.R. grudgingly let her guide him to the door but stopped when she reached down and opened it.

"I should'a seduced you right there at the movie studio, you know that?" He protested.

Now it was Sue Ellen's turn to grin. "I got out of that kind of movie making when I ripped up Mandy Winger's contract." She gently pushed him out the door. "Goodbye, J.R."

J.R. suddenly resisted and no amount of force from her would have moved him if she tried. He quickly wrapped his uninjured arm around her waist and trapped her against the doorframe, silencing any protest from her with a kiss.

Unable to move, Sue Ellen verbally tried to object but it only allowed him to deepen their kiss. With her emotions and nerves already on overload, her response was delayed but her body understood and made her relax into him, even kiss him back.

When she stopped resisting, J.R. felt Sue Ellen respond in her slow, sweet way and he savored it. The woman had such a gift with the way she physically touched him but nothing compared to way she kissed him. It wasn't just the connection of their mouths or the way their movements so naturally synchronized to each other. It was the emotion she generated in him, the touch of a soul who knew and understood him yet loved him, anyway.

That thought washed over him with a feeling of wonder he had never experienced before. She was the only person who had ever made him feel like that, made him want so much. He had denied her for so long and now there was nothing more he wanted than to experience her in every way possible. Starting with this kiss.

When the feel of his kiss changed, Sue Ellen didn't fight it. She didn't want to. It had become more than just a kiss. It was now an unexpectedly emotional exploration that was taking her to undiscovered levels as if J.R. had been searching for something and was finding it within her. She kept expecting him to withdraw but he was actually pushing them forward, sharing unspoken feelings with her through the touch of his lips, the way his fingers explored her face, ear and neck, all the while expertly guiding her to allow him greater access to everything he knew she could give him.

Sue Ellen had known long ago that she loved J.R. more than he would ever love her. That had been difficult to accept but she knew now nothing she could have done would have changed it. But here he was, kissing her in a way she had always longed for. To have him so open to her was confusing … enlightening … exciting. As if he was finally letting her in past the barricade surrounding his soul. And it reopened a long suppressed need buried deep inside her.

Was what he had been telling her true? Could he really only want her? Did she dare hope it was possible that J.R. Ewing could ever feel "love" for her or anything resembling that emotion?

As if sensing her doubt, J.R. softened his kiss, reversing back to a slow seduction of her mouth that soon had her wanting him to never stop. If only he could make her believe this was really him so openly loving her. Make her know that the possibility of exploring "love" with him again was no longer a forbidden idea. Make her want him more and more.

Had she just heard herself softly moan into his mouth?

Damn it, she silently cursed to herself. He was winning again, pulling her back to a place she vowed never to return, the place where she loved him and craved him to return it but he never did. Yet how could something that should be so bad feel so good?

As suddenly as it started, she ended their kiss. As she looked up at J.R., the intense intimacy of their kiss remained in his eyes. The look was so profound she felt like her thoughts had betrayed her and he knew all she had been thinking.

He allowed her to withdraw only far enough to keep their mouths from touching but close enough that their breath mixed in a rhythm that was their own, found so long ago and perfected during so many sleepless nights.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me." He whispered as he lightly traced his lips over hers in a purposefully teasing way. Then he pulled back farther, still resting against her but no longer close enough to kiss her. "And I am gonna prove it to you by leavin'. God knows nothin' else could be keepin' me from takin' you upstairs to your bed right now."

The subtle, seductive taunt was like a flash of lightening across her skin, making her tingle and her stomach clench in anticipation. To cause that reaction with only his voice made her mind jump to memories and fantasies of other ways he made her respond. And she wanted him, more than anything or anyone she had ever wanted before, but she knew it couldn't be now.

"Go then." She whispered, trying to sound defiant but finding it difficult to control her voice. "Go while I can still let you."

A flicker of understanding passed through their eyes. J.R. slowly smiled once more then bent down to kiss her again, this time in a soft, fleeting way that generated the desire for them both that there would be a next time.

No other form of good-bye was needed.

When he was gone and the door shut behind him, Sue Ellen leaned back against the sturdy wood for support, letting her head fall back on the surface with a gentle thud as she closed her eyes. Even after several moments, her breath remained uneven as she still felt J.R. against her. But even though she was shaken by all he had said and done, she was unexpectedly content.

She raised her fingers to her lips, lightly brushing over where they still tingled. Maybe giving him one more chance wouldn't be so bad after all.

But it would definitely be his last.


	24. Chapter 24

Wild Is The Wind, Part 24

Sitting near the pool, the sparkling light show the midday sun made across the blue of the water made no impact on Sue Ellen. She wasn't there for the scenery she normally loved. It was simply where she had absent-mindedly wandered to after J.R. left.

At least J.R. was gone. Gone back to Southfork to deal with Cally … or more likely to the Oil Barons Club for a few doses of courage out of a bourbon bottle. But wherever he was, his absence was giving her a much-need reprieve to think.

Being away from him was like being free of alcohol. The clear-headedness that followed was very welcome but now the calm realizations that accompanied it were difficult to swallow. Somehow she had to make sense of the ambivalently frustrating yet unexpectedly endearing past few hours.

Thinking back, she didn't regret the decision to spend the night with him. It was an impulse that had led to a wonderful experience with a man she … what? Loved? She sighed heavily. It was the sentiment that had consumed her since the tornado, making her go back and forth about it over and over again. How could she love him again? Wasn't it too soon? Was it even possible? But one thing she couldn't deny was her attraction to him … an attraction more powerful than anything she had ever felt before.

She had done all she could to control it but she might as well have tried to control the tornado with a piece of tissue paper. Their feelings and emotions about each other had increased dramatically since the storm. She knew it was a typical reaction to the danger and fear they had experienced together. Last night was the natural conclusion to that. What bothered her about it, though, was her arrogance in thinking it would only be one night and nothing more would happen.

She should have known better. Nothing between them had ever been that simple. And much to her dismay, no matter how she tried to fight it, she did want more. She had wanted him over and over again. In her office … at the studio just a few hours ago … even volunteering to bring him back here and spend the afternoon with him. Thank God sanity had been restored to both of them before anything more had happened because even as good as it felt, the inescapable intensity between them was unnerving her, making her feel things about J.R. she didn't want and never expected to feel again.

She knew that was the risk even before she went to him the previous night but she had acknowledged and accepted it. Yet now it was done, why had she once again been reduced to this flighty, indecisive state about him she thought she had conquered so long ago?

Even as charming and irresistible as he had been, J.R. wasn't to blame … for once, she mentally added with a trace of a smile. He was as terrifying as the tornado with the things he was making her feel yet none of her misgivings or hesitations fazed him. She knew her indecisiveness had irritated him as much as it did her but his newfound resolution in wanting her, needing to prove himself to her, refused to waver. If anything, her trying to hold him back only made him more determined to push them forward.

That was a surprise, too. For as complex as he was, he had escaped the tornado with one basic need … to simply be with her and John Ross. Was that just an act? Would he soon return to being the cheating bastard she knew so well? Or did she dare repeat the foolish mantra that had sustained her through two farcical marriages … he had changed.

Typical, she thought, irritated by the idea. As it always was with him, she was suffering from a heavy dose of mental disapproval and fear that always accompanied being charmed back into the devil's embrace. He always had been able to seduce his way past her ability to think, generating this maddening "good girl/bad girl" schizophrenia in her. Was it any wonder she was so confused?

Then a thought hit her that was really a surprise. Did any of it even matter? Because damn, it felt good to be with him again.

"You are playing with fire," she softly muttered to herself then couldn't help but smile as memories of the previous 12 hours formed out of the mists of her doubts and hesitation. Last night, she had never felt more alive, such a welcome relief from the terror of the tornado. She had also never felt more connected to another person, simpatico to the point of being unable to think of little else. But most importantly, she had seen how much damage the tornado had physically inflicted on him. How could that have not changed him? Because how else would J.R. Ewing … the most selfish, self-centered coward she knew … go blindly into a raging tornado then withstand being injured and pain he would probably feel for the rest of his life all for her sake?

She sighed unevenly, her breath catching as emotion constricted her throat. Maybe it was possible that J.R. had come out of it a changed man. Maybe the tornado was their new line of demarcation where the past could be buried, giving them some hope for a future instead of them both being consumed with hate and revenge. If anything, John Ross certainly deserved that and a more stable future with both his parents. Besides, being at peace with J.R. certainly felt a whole hell of a lot better than being at war him.

"Earth to Sue Ellen," came a light-hearted call from the patio.

Both startled and relieved at the distraction from her thoughts, Sue Ellen turned to see Don walking towards her carrying a file box.

"You were miles away then," he remarked as he approached before stopping next to her chair to observe her. "I only hope he's worth it."

Sue Ellen knitted her brows together in a frown. "What are you talking about?"

"J.R., the lucky bastard," Don replied with a grin as he sat the box down and took the chair next to her. Looking over at her, he saw the confusion and a touch of irritation in her expression caused by his flippant remark so he verbally backtracked. "There is something you need to know about the movie business, boss. Just because a studio is empty doesn't mean it's empty." He pointed upwards. "The catwalks have ears."

Sue Ellen considered his comment for a moment then briefly closed her eyes as a slight blush colored her cheeks. "Good Lord, don't tell me you were there earlier when I was with J.R."

"Not by choice," he said with a reassuring smile. "I didn't have much opportunity to escape."

Sue Ellen thought about it further, recalling J.R.'s comment before he left ... _I should have made love to you right there in that studio_. She blushed further and softly laughed.

"My apologies, Don. Things have … changed … since we saw each other last night. You were right. Seems I'm stumbling towards a truce with my ex-husband at light speed."

"So I gathered." Don paused as he looked around. "I expected him to be here."

"No. Sanity finally overpowered us both. He's off to make things right with his …" She stopped as an unexpected pang of jealousy prevented her from calling Cally his wife.

"With Cally?" Don added. "Then with you?"

Sue Ellen considered his question then shrugged. "I told him it's going to take a whole lot more than that."

"Good for you for sticking to your guns then." Don looked at her for a moment then asked the question now burning in his mind even though he knew the answer. "But you are going to let him off the hook, aren't you? Cancel the film after all?"

She slowly nodded, appreciating his insight. "Yes. And believe it or not, that decision is not for his benefit. It's for mine."

Don returned her nod then smiled. "I can certainly understand your desire to make peace with him. However, there is no need for you to give up on the movie business. So this film didn't work out. I still think this past week and all that has happened to you would make one hell of a film."

"What, a disaster movie?"

The glib remark made Don softly laugh. He knew she didn't mean the tornado. "No, it's the simple formula that drives all good character-based stories. It's when a choice … or in your case, a situation and choices … brings on so many consequences."

Sue Ellen looked away from him, across the water of the pool, mentally replaying the words she had thrown at J.R. the day before only a few feet away from where they were now … _"__That's what happens when your actions finally catch up to you and bite you on the conscience."_ It was time to broach the subject she wished she could avoid.

"Consequences," she murmured. "Like what happened after we attended a wedding we had no business being at?"

Don sensed the regret in her words and took it as the apology she seemed to want to offer. As ridiculous as he had thought going to the wedding was that day, he had followed her there. He hadn't liked the outcome any better than she did but his admiration for her for owning up to it just doubled.

"I see it more along the lines of being at the right place at the right time, believe it or not," he said with a shrug. "Even if being with J.R. might not be where you need to be, the freedom you now have from the hate and anger for the man will no doubt bring you good things." Suddenly needing to lighten things up, he grinned at her. "On the other hand, if we'd stayed away from the wedding that day, we'd probably still be making our film and you would be falling madly in love with me because I'm so irresistible."

Sue Ellen looked over at him and softly giggled. "That you are. And a very sweet man." She considered him for a moment. "No accusations ... no 'I-told-you-so's' … even though you have every right to do so."

"It's because I'm a prince of a guy," he replied before his smile faded away. "But even if the tornado hadn't happened, I'm not sure I could have handled falling for you then losing you back to Ewing, anyway."

Sue Ellen was momentarily taken aback by the honest comment then nodded again, understanding why he said it. "I can't seem to escape him, can I?"

"I don't think you want to. Nor do I blame you." Don was instantly reminded of a quote from Shakespeare and he softly repeated it. "When love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with the harmony." He smiled at her again. "You've had a hell of a year, Sue Ellen. Years, really. But the tornado wiped the slate clean between the two of you. Now get on with it."

"After all you've seen and heard," Sue Ellen softly remarked after a moment, "you must think I'm crazy."

"Stark, raving mad." Don agreed. "But then again, so am I. Who isn't? It's rather like a film, really ... a bit subjective in what we get out of it no matter what the critics say because those same critics have no control over whom we fall in love with and why. That said, I will admit I think you're a bit of a daredevil. You've certainly chosen a path that looks like one hell of a roller-coaster ride. But you are a lady who deserves to be loved and even though I'm certainly not his biggest fan ... from the way I've seen Ewing look at you the past few days … there is little doubt he adores you."

Sue Ellen looked away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze. "That is very generous advice."

"And free of charge since I'm quitting before you fire me." He charmingly deflected.

"I don't think I would have ever fired you." She said warmly.

"We'll never know, will we?" It was a double-edged question they both left unanswered. Don tapped on the box he had been carrying then stood up. "And with that it, my work here is done. In the box are all my notes, treatments and completed parts of script … along with your diaries. It all belongs back with you now, boss."

"Don … I don't know what to say to you … except thank you."

Don smiled again, this time a little more shyly than with his usual bravado. "You're welcome." It was an odd sense of timing but memories of his dead wife came to him, happy memories he now cherished and would do anything to experience again. "Say, would you mind one more bit more advice before I clear out?"

"No, of course not."

"Don't fear what you're feeling, luv ... embrace it. Stop looking for guarantees in this mad, wicked world that gives nothing except what you pull out of it kicking and screaming. If Ewing is the man for you ... or even if he isn't ... take the way he makes you feel today and enjoy it instead of worrying about how he might make you feel tomorrow or in ten years. Because there isn't anything I wouldn't give to have one moment back with my wife, whether it be fighting with or loving her."

Sue Ellen smiled up at him and nodded, tears sparkling in her eyes. Don reached down and stroked her cheek then held it in his hand.

"I wish you only the best, Sue Ellen," he said as he smiled at her once again. "And if things don't work out with the mighty oil baron ... come over to London and see me."

Sue Ellen covered his hand with hers and held it tightly against her cheek before letting it go. It was as close to an embrace as they would ever get.

"Godspeed, Don," she said. "I'll be watching the Academy Awards, expecting an appearance from you."

"From your mouth to God's ears," he said with a big grin. "Goodbye, Sue Ellen."

"Goodbye."

As Sue Ellen watched him walk away, she felt a twinge of regret and loss at what might have been with Don. But he had been right. It was time to get on with her life … with J.R. … and take any consequences that might come because living without him now seemed a cold, lonely option when she could so easily enjoy the passion he incited in her. Even if it was only for a day … a month … or a lifetime.


	25. Chapter 25

Wild Is The Wind, Part 25

As the limousine he was riding in pulled into the long Southfork driveway, J.R. could feel himself start to sweat. This would be no happy homecoming.

He dreaded telling Cally it was over between them. He dreaded dealing with not only her reaction but also that of his family and Clayton, who would no doubt land another right on his jaw for it. That thought made J.R. groan. He wasn't sure if he had the strength for another confrontation like the last time he had been at the ranch but there was no other way around it. The only way back to Sue Ellen now ran straight through Cally and Southfork.

Factoring in the ranch made it even more difficult. As J.R. looked out the window, he could see construction workers swarming the property. The ranch was starting to resemble it's old self and even though his expression showed a hint of sadness, he was grateful. His mother still cherished the place and she deserved to see the ranch rising out of the destruction left behind by the tornado. For him, though, this would be his time to say goodbye not only to his child bride but also to the only home he had ever known.

Leaving Cally and Southfork behind, he knew he would find a way to wrangle Jackson's ranch away from him. He would start a new home there, hopefully a new life with Sue Ellen and John Ross. And he would build a new oil company from the ground up. Just like his daddy did. Just like he had taught him to do.

This time he would succeed.

When the car stopped and the driver opened his door, J.R. braced himself for what was to come but was unprepared for the noise that hit him. The loud clatter of the construction was unnerving. It warred with the traces of his concussion and made his head pound, making his resolution falter. But he gritted his teeth and got out of the car.

Searching the congested patio as he walked to the house, J.R. spotted his mother, Clayton and Bobby all huddled together at the table, going over what looked liked blueprints. With the noise and accompanying distractions, J.R. approached them unnoticed.

"Mamma?" He called out.

Ellie turned and seeing J.R., she grinned and quickly went over to him.

"J.R.!" She happily exclaimed as he bent down to allow her to kiss his cheek. "It's so good to see you! How are you feeling?"

"Real fine, Mamma," he lied with a fake grin. "Real fine." He turned from her to look across the pool, needing a reason to break away from his mother's knowing, concerned stare. "Say, where's Cally?"

As if on cue, Cally came flying out of the house and threw her arms around J.R., making him wince as the pain in his shoulder and arm angrily resurfaced at the sudden contact.

"I knew you'd come back!" Cally squealed as she pulled him down to smother him in kisses. "Welcome home!" She kissed him again. "I love you so much, J.R.!"

J.R. squirmed out of her embrace and gently pushed her away. "Don't, Cally."

"Don't what?" She sweetly asked while demurely looking up at him out of the corner of her eye. "Kiss my husband? 'Cause I plan on kissin' you a lot when I get'cha alone."

"Cally, we need to talk." J.R. replied, undeterred, still trying to end the contact with her. It was like arm wrestling with an octopus.

"Aw, there's nothin' to talk about," she reassured him. "I understand … about everything … and we can just leave it at that."

"No, you don't understand." He said, frustration creeping into his voice as he rubbed the back of his aching head. "Can we please go into the house and talk? This noise is killin' me."

"Sure enough." She purred as she snuggled up to her husband, thrilled at the possibility of getting him alone. She had thought long and hard about how to win J.R. back and figured the best way to start would be to remind him of their first night in Haleyville … their first time together. "Why don't we go on upstairs and I'll show you just how happy I am you're home?"

The girl's advances along with the construction noise and lack of sleep suddenly made J.R. physically sick. He recoiled from her as if she were covered in bees.

"No! That's not why I'm here!" He shouted.

His outburst caught the attention of Clayton and Bobby, along with several construction workers, who all turned to J.R.

"Now, come on in the house and talk to me 'cause we're makin' a scene." J.R. crossly added.

Clayton quickly went to Cally's side. "Don't start anything, J.R."

Exhausted and further irritated by his stepfather's unwanted presence, J.R. rolled his eyes and snapped back at the older man. "Clayton, I just want to talk to the girl! So please, just stay the hell outta this!"

"Whatever you have to say to her you can say with me standing here." The older man stubbornly replied.

"Well wonderful!" J.R. sarcastically returned. "Would you mind if we at last take it in the house so half of Braddock County doesn't hear?" He glared over at his mother and Bobby. "And by all means, you two join us. The more the merrier!"

"J.R., you don't look very well." Ellie commented, worried about the sudden paleness of his face.

"Then please help me get everyone inside!" J.R. uncharacteristically shouted at his mother, his patience gone. The look of surprise on his mother's face made him recant. "Please, Mamma?" He softly added.

Ellie could both feel the desperation in his demeanor and see it clearly in J.R.'s ashen expression. After a brief moment to visually sum up the situation, she did as he asked. "Come, everyone … let's go inside."

Without further complaints or distractions, everyone silently obeyed Ellie's request and entered the ranch house with her guiding them along.

J.R. sighed heavily, relieved at the chance to get out of the hot sun and noise, and followed behind his mother. Once inside, they formed an unintentional semi ring around the kitchen. Over by the fridge, Cally huddled close to Clayton's side.

_She looks like a scared little rabbit_, J.R. thought before the image was pushed out of his head by the sound of Clayton's voice.

"Now what's this all about, J.R.?" Clayton commanded. "Speak your peace and be done with it!"

J.R. furiously eyed the man. There he was, barking out orders again like the Southfork range boss. Only this time, J.R. no longer cared. Clayton had threatened and intimidated him since their very first meeting on the Southern Cross. He wouldn't do it anymore.

"Clayton," J.R. spoke up, his resolution renewed. "With all due respect to my mamma and the way she cares about you, what you did to me the other day -- hell, just havin' you standin' there shoutin' orders! -- reminds me this is no longer a Ewing house on Ewing land. Southfork is now Farlow country and I've had enough of you to last me a lifetime."

"Then what's stopping you from leaving?" Clayton countered. "There's the door … get the hell out!"

"Clayton …!" Ellie began in a warning tone before J.R. stopped her.

"No, Mamma … he's right. He finally wins." J.R. looked back at Clayton. "I _am_ leavin', you self-righteous son-of-a-bitch. And you can have the whole damn ranch 'cause I'm spendin' the rest of my days on Ewing property … with Ewings."

Something about J.R.'s demeanor had changed. He was serious … deadly serious … and Clayton's well-honed instincts told him not to retaliate.

"You'd do that to your mother?" Clayton wondered aloud. "Just to get back at me?"

"Get back at you?" J.R. responded with a sneer. "Huh! I don't even give a damn about you anymore. I'm doin' this for me and my family." J.R. paused and looked back at his mother. "Besides, Mamma knows all about it."

Surprised, Clayton looked over at Ellie and she stoically nodded.

"J.R., just give it some time." Bobby tried to intervene. "You've been through hell this week. Don't end things like this."

J.R. turned from his stepfather to look over at Bobby. "No, Bob … things are the way they've gotta be." He attempted to smile at his baby brother. "And as much as I appreciate you lettin' me back in at Ewing Oil … well, we both know it won't work so I'm givin' you my notice, too."

"You're not quitting, are you?" Bobby asked, clearly surprised.

"Not quittin', just leavin' Ewing Oil. Harve is drawin' up the dissolution of partnership papers as we speak. Now you and Cliff Barnes can have at it." J.R. paused for a moment then genuinely smiled at his brother. "Only watch yourself 'cause I'll be comin' up behind ya real soon."

"You starting up your own company again?" Bobby said with a knowing half grin, finally starting to understand his brother's motives.

"I sure as hell am. Maybe in a month or two, after I take some time to get to know my family again."

At the mention of "family" J.R. looked over at Cally who was quietly cowering against Clayton's arm. He considered her for a long moment, feeling very little except pity and concern for the girl. He turned to his mother and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Mamma, with your permission," he gently said, "I'd like Cally to stay on here at Southfork … 'til we get everything settled."

"Of course," Ellie nodded.

"What's that mean?" Cally finally cried out. "Settle what? I wanna be with you!"

J.R. gazed at his shotgun bride and slowly shook his head. "That's no longer possible and you know it."

"It's because of Sue Ellen, ain't it?" Cally sobbed. "She tricked you into stayin' with her!"

"Tricked me?" J.R. repeated, irritated by the girl's lack of understanding. "No. I'm with her 'cause that's where I belong. Funny thing is I'm not real sure she wants me there."

"No, J.R. … NO!" Cally cried out, now on the verge of hysterics. "What about all those things you told me about her? That she was an awful drunk … a terrible wife … an unfit mother!"

"I lied." J.R. said matter-of-factly. "She is none of those things. And God only knows, lookin' at you now, I'm not proud of what I did. But it's done … and I can't take it back." J.R. slowly approached her. "Cally, that's the way I am … the way I truly am. I'll do whatever it takes to win. I lie, cheat … even break a young girl's heart." J.R. reached out to touch her face in a very fatherly way, placing his thumb and finger gently on her chin to make her look at him. "The minute I laid eyes on you, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Even as worn-out as that sounds, it's the truth. You were the exact opposite of all that was wrong with me … young, innocent, so full of hope and promise. Plus you were the prettiest little thing in Haleyville. I wanted to be part of that … feel it … if only for a moment." She flinched from his touch and his hand dropped along with his expression as he finally realized how wrong he had been. "I took it too far. I should have kept my hands off you like Bobby warned me."

"My brothers … the sheriff … they was all right about you," she muttered quietly in between sobs.

Her mentioning the Haleyville lynch mob angered J.R. but he held back his temper. "Cally, as young as you are, you are a woman … a woman capable of knowin' her own mind. Yes, I seduced you. And as wrong as that may have been, playin' on your feelin's like that … I didn't force you. It wasn't rape like the sheriff accused me of. You came to me willingly and we spent a wonderful night together. Didn't we?"

Cally looked confused but she reluctantly nodded her head. 'Ye … yes," she stuttered before her anger took over again. "But they was still right about ya! You should'a never touched me if you didn't mean it!"

His patience reached the limit and J.R.'s expression merged into a sharp frown. "Hell, girl! That's what I've been tryin' to tell you! But don't you think I more than paid for what I did? Do you honestly think it was right that I was thrown in jail without a trial, chained up in a work camp because of what we shared? I wouldn't treat a dog like that much less a person yet there I was, trapped!"

Clayton and Ellie both exchanged surprised looks before Ellie turned to Bobby who looked equally surprised. J.R. obviously hadn't shared any of those details with any of them. Now they understood his long absence after the trip to Haleyville.

"When I escaped," J.R. angrily continued, his focus solely on Cally, "the only way I could spare my life was to marry you with a shotgun shoved in my ribs. Is it any wonder I didn't go back when I finally got away?" J.R. paused and took a breath, forcing himself to calm down. "You should have stayed in Haleyville. It's where you belonged."

"I belong with you!" She cried.

J.R. felt his impatience with the girl rise in his chest once more. "You sure have a funny way of showin' it, gettin' me to promise to marry you again 'cause you claimed you were pregnant."

"That was Sue Ellen's idea!" Cally helplessly tried to defend herself.

"Yes, it was … and it was damn devious of her!" J.R. stopped and tried to reason with her again. "But don't you see, Cally? Any one of the things I just mentioned … let alone all of them together … is no way to start a marriage."

"But I love you, J.R.!" She sniffed.

"Maybe so. But honey, you gotta believe me … I am no good for you. If you stay with me, I'll only end up hurtin' you. More than I already have."

"But J.R. …!" She tried to protest but it was no use.

"No, Cally … listen to me," J.R. insisted. "In the short time you've been here, just look what's happened to you. You've lost the one thing I admired most about you … your sweetness. You sure as hell don't deserve that. And I no longer wanna be the cause of it."

"I'll change!" She pleaded. "I promise, I can be anything you want me to be. I been workin' real hard at it and …"

"No!" J.R. stopped her again. "Don't ever change! Not for me or for anyone else! You need to be that sweet girl again." She fell silent again as tears ran down her cheek. "Cally," he continued, his tone now much softer, "some day, you are gonna meet a man who'll make you feel like I never will … make you feel things in a way that shakes up your whole world. Not just in the physical way. 'Cause someone like that makes you feel special every way. Better yet, they make you feel complete. And you know it 'cause you can hardly stand to be away from them. You're only happy when they are close." J.R.'s thoughts flashed instantly to Sue Ellen and he silently chuckled at the irony of her being that person for him. _Nothin' like takin' twenty years to figure that out, _he chided himself. Then he looked back at Cally and knew she deserved to hear that, too. "That's the way I feel about Sue Ellen, Cally. We might fight like cats and dogs and it took a tornado to make me see it … but there is no way I can live without her anymore. I'm gonna do everything in my power to win her back 'cause she is my wife, in every sense of the word … and I love her."

The entire room was stunned into silence by J.R.'s honesty.

"I'm sorry," he quietly added.

"What am I gonna do now?" Cally asked no one as despair finally merged with the increasingly difficult reality of her situation.

"You're gonna listen to me," J.R. forcefully said, making Cally look up at him again. "Don't you worry 'bout a thing. You'll be safe here with Mamma 'til we get things worked out 'cause I am gonna do right by you. I promise you that. You'll have enough money that you'll never have to worry about anything ever again."

At that moment Cally experienced what it was like when J.R. Ewing told the truth. He seemed to stand a little taller, straighter, and the determination in his eyes was hard to miss. All she could do was vacantly nod.

J.R. looked at her for a moment longer, then up at Clayton who remained silent as he still held the girl. When J.R. turned back to Bobby and Ellie, his little brother simply nodded while Miss Ellie reached out to gently touch his arm.

"I've got to go, Mamma." J.R. said to her.

"I know." There were tears in Ellie's eyes. Even as ruthless and cold-hearted as her oldest child could be, she was proud of what he had just done. He had owned up to his mistake and taken responsibility for it. So much the way his father would have done. It made her realize how much she still loved J.R. even with his flaws and would miss him terribly around the ranch. "Never forget you are always welcome here."

J.R. nodded then bent down to kiss her cheek. With that, he straightened up and took one more look around before walking out of the only home he had ever known. Yet even with the twinge of regret and nostalgia that hit him, he was relieved, even a little excited. He was going back to where Sue Ellen and John Ross were. Wherever they were would be his home from now on.

As J.R. disappeared through the door, Cally turned into Clayton's chest and finally let out all the tears she had been trying to hold back. Ellie quickly went to them both and tried her best to comfort the girl.

"There, there, Cally," she gently said as she patted the girl's back. "As much as this hurts, J.R. is right … the sting you feel now is nothing compared to the devastation you would have felt when he turned away from you. And he would have. As much as I love my son, I know he has broken too many hearts to count." She continued to pat the girl and rub her back, gentling her the same way she gentled her horses. She was grateful the effect was the same and Cally started to calm down. "You are going to be just fine," she softly added. "I will see to that."

"No, ma'am … I ain't," Cally miserably murmured. "And I ain't leavin' this town … and my husband … without a fight."

Ellie sadly shook her head, knowing the girl was probably telling the truth, as foolish as it was. Then she looked up at Clayton with pleading eyes.

"She needs some rest. I think she'd be better off in her room."

"I think you're right," Clayton angrily replied. "That son of yours is a real piece of work, Ellie." Ellie simply nodded in agreement and Clayton looked down at Cally to give her a reassuring squeeze around the shoulders. "C'mon, Cally. Let's get you upstairs."

"Yes, sir," she murmured, no longer able to think clearly. So much had happened and her life had just been turned upside down … again. She had some unfinished business to settle … with Sue Ellen most of all. But some sleep surely did sound good at the moment.

As Clayton led Cally to the dining room and out of the kitchen, Ellie turned back to Bobby. He graced her with a reassuring smile.

"Mamma, I do believe we witnessed a miracle just now. My big brother might finally be growing up. Because as much as I hate what he did to that girl, it sounds like he is trying to do right by her now. And Sue Ellen."

Ellie wearily returned his smile. "More than that, Bobby. It sounds like J.R. is finally starting to live up to your daddy's name."


	26. Chapter 26

Wild Is The Wind, Part 26

John Ross slowly rode his bike up and down the long driveway of his mother's mansion, not really wanting to go anywhere but not wanting to be in the house. He knew it was getting late. The sunlight was fading and he was expecting to soon be called in for dinner. But he would wait as long as he could.

His mother had explained why his daddy had gone back out to Southfork. She wasn't sure if he would stay there, though. That was what bothered John Ross most. His daddy wouldn't go home without him ... would he?

Dejected and frustrated, John Ross peddled down the driveway one more time. As much as he wanted to, he knew it was too far to ride his bike back to the ranch. Now more than ever, he wished his mother hadn't chosen to live so far away from Southfork. He understood her reasons, though. It was so she could be close to the city and her businesses while being as far away from his father as possible.

At least the tornado had pushed the three of them together again, forced them to all stay at his mother's house. It was so much easier, living with both of them, because he no longer had to miss his mother while he lived at Southfork. Now that all seemed to be falling apart, especially if his dad didn't come back from the ranch.

"Why can't they see being together is so much better than being apart?" John Ross quietly asked as if he would receive the answer to the question that was beyond his understanding.

If only things were different, he sadly thought afterwards. If only they loved each other again. If only they would even like each other again. He had hoped the tornado would change their minds, make them see how crazy they were to be living apart with other people. After all, he could see it … why couldn't they?

At least they hadn't been fighting as much. They had also promised him so many good things last night, like they would be spending more time with him … together. And it had been so much fun just being with them the past few days. Did he dare hope it would last?

If only his dad would come back.

Guiding his bike to the bottom of the driveway, John Ross stopped and eagerly looked each way, listening closely for any sign of a car. After a few moments of seeing and hearing nothing, a sad frown clouded his expression once more and he turned to peddle back to the house.

As he got closer, the front door of the mansion opened and his mother walked out. Even though he was unhappy, he did his best to smile and wave at her. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her or make her think he didn't want to be with her because if he had his choice, he would stay with her always. If only it was at Southfork with him and his daddy.

"John Ross," Sue Ellen called out. "Why don't you come in and get cleaned up? Dinner is almost ready."

John Ross slowly pulled his bike up in front of her then looked longingly back down the driveway again.

"Just a few more minutes, Mom? Please?" He pleaded. "I just know Dad will be showing up soon. I want to be here when he gets here."

Sue Ellen found the request difficult to deny and gently put her hand on his shoulder. "I know you do. But I don't how long he's going to be."

"Is he even coming back?" John Ross sadly asked.

"I don't know that either, sweetheart," she softly replied, wishing she had the answers to dispel his disappointment. "I hope he does … he's certainly welcome to stay here. He knows that."

"You hope he does?" John Ross echoed back to her, ignoring her attempt to cover up the sentiment she had expressed. "Does that mean you really don't mind Dad being here?"

Sue Ellen smiled at his keen intuition. It had always been difficult to hide things from him but at least John Ross now had some of the maturity required to understand just how complicated things could be where his father was concerned.

"No, I don't mind him being here," she gently replied, understanding his meaning. "It's been nice, having you both here. I've really missed you, John Ross."

John Ross shyly smiled and nodded, appreciating that his mother understood. "Yeah, I've missed you, too." Then his smiled faded as he looked back down the driveway. "I just wish there was some way the three of us could go on living together."

"Oh, sweetheart," Sue Ellen sighed as she went over to wrap her arms around him, pulling him close. "I know you do. And I know all this must be so confusing for you. Everything happened so fast."

"I just keep thinking of that talk we had a while ago, Mom," John Ross replied, trying to cover his disappointment. "When you told me Cally was Dad's wife now and you would never come back to Southfork and live with us again."

The boy's honesty was startling but it also filled Sue Ellen with a sense of pride and admiration.

"Yes," she nodded. "I remember that, too. And when I said that, I meant it because at that time I could see no other way. But who knew a tornado would come along and shake all of us up?"

"Kinda scary, huh?" John Ross added.

Sue Ellen considered the comment then nodded. "Very scary. But something good did come out of it. For whatever reason, it brought the three of us together again and I think that's a very good thing."

John Ross pulled back to look up at her. "Does that mean you and Dad aren't so angry at each other any more?"

Sue Ellen gently stroked her son's face. "No, I'm not angry at your father anymore. This past week, he has done and said things that make me think that maybe I want to get to know him again. But John Ross, we still have a long way to go. I don't want you to be disappointed again if things don't work out between us."

"Mom, even if you're not back together, all I want is for you and Dad to be happy again. Neither one of you has been happy since that barbeque at Southfork last year when Dad spent most of his time talking to some lady named Mrs. Cryder. Ever since then, it feels like the more time you spend apart, the angrier you both get, even though Dad has Cally and you have that English guy. Wouldn't it just be easier for both of you if you were together again?"

Sue Ellen was stunned at the simplicity of the boy's wisdom. It also suddenly made her wonder if her relationship with J.R. was the overly complicated mess it was simply because they had allowed it to be that way.

"Well, I must admit," she said with a smile meant to ease away the tension she could see in his expression, "you might be on to something there. You certainly sound a whole lot wiser than your father and I ever have. But fixing all that went wrong between us is going to take some time and patience, if we can fix it at all. Think you can hang in there with us for a little while longer while we get it all straightened out?"

"Sure," John Ross replied, finally smiling. "As long as it takes. I just really like us being together, Mom. That's all."

Sue Ellen returned his smile as she gently stroked his face. "I know you do. But I've got to be honest … your father still drives me crazy sometimes." They both giggled then she softened and sighed. "I do like having him here with you, though. Just don't you dare tell him I said that."

John Ross happily giggled again. "I won't, I promise." He looked at her for a moment before giving her a rather mischievous smile that looked so much like his father's. "So … does that mean that maybe Dad and I can stay with you … at least for little while longer?"

Sue Ellen found it difficult to resist his charm and she reached over to lightly touch the tip of his nose. "I don't see why not."

"Yeah!" He excitedly shouted then his smiled faded a little as he became serious once more. "Thanks, Mom. Even if you and Dad can't be married, I still want us to find some way to be a family again."

"So do I, John Ross. I promise to at least give it a try and I know your father will, too. But in the mean time, don't forget what we have both promised you. You are what matters most, to both of us, and for you we will somehow find a way to make all this work out."

The sound of a car interrupted their exchange as John Ross excitedly turned to see the long, black limousine he had been waiting for finally pull in. He and Sue Ellen watched as the car moved closer then stopped in front of them. Not waiting for the driver, the back door opened and J.R. slowly got out of the car.

"Hey, you two!" He called out with a big grin.

Even though it wasn't outwardly apparent behind his smile, Sue Ellen knew as soon as she saw J.R. something was wrong. He was so pale and looked exhausted. Without hesitation, she went to his side and reached him before John Ross could get off his bike.

"J.R., are you all right?" She softly asked as she unconsciously reached up to stroke his face. "Did something happen at the ranch?"

He was grateful for the unexpected gesture of concern from Sue Ellen even as her touch warmed him out of the cold weariness he had felt since leaving the ranch and the confrontation with Cally and Clayton.

"Nothin' 'cept my so-called family gave me one hell of a headache, that's all," J.R. softly replied.

"So glad you came back, Dad!" John Ross said, unintentionally interrupting his father as he moved to his side. "I've been waiting for you!"

J.R. looked down, away from Sue Ellen to John Ross who now stood at his side. Giving his son a smile, J.R. wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder.

"Thank you, son. I'm mighty glad to be here, too." He looked back over at Sue Ellen and grinned once again. "I'm beat. Mind if I stay with you a John Ross another night?"

"As a matter of fact," Sue Ellen replied as she looked over at John Ross and winked, "your son and I were just discussing that very thing. And you."

J.R. looked down at his son and playfully tightened his grip on his shoulder. "Conspirin' against me with your mamma, huh?"

"Nah, not really," John Ross giggled.

"We've decided," Sue Ellen continued, "that even though you drive us crazy most of the time ..."

"That was mom's part," John Ross chimed in with another giggle.

"Of course," J.R. said as he rolled his eyes and looked back at Sue Ellen who had to stifle her own laughter.

"… and even though we aren't exactly sure why," she continued then softened. "We do want you to stick around."

"We want to try and be a family again, Dad." John Ross solemnly added. "No matter which way it works out. We just need to be together somehow."

J.R. was uncharacteristically speechless for a moment before he answered. "I couldn't agree more, John Ross." Then he looked over at Sue Ellen again. "Does that go for you, too?"

She simply nodded. "Yes. For now."

Even with her still guarded hesitation, J.R. was thrilled he might be getting the chance he'd asked her for.

"Well, there's nowhere I'd rather be than with the two of you," he softly replied and hugged John Ross close to his side.

When he looked over at Sue Ellen once again, an old, familiar sensation ran through him, so much like the first time he saw her. It was a revelation so strong it left him a little breathless. But he loved the feeling. How could he not? It was generated from simply loving her … being in love with her … and loving their son, the most precious gift she had ever given him.

As J.R. continued to look at Sue Ellen, the sentiment that popped into his head was an old, clichéd Texas saying but it had never had as much meaning as it did at that moment.

"Good Lord, woman … you truly are a sight for sore eyes."

Sue Ellen blushed a little and looked down from him, flattered by comment and the meaning behind it. The smile that brightened John Ross' face suddenly caught her eye and he winked at her, revealing he had enjoyed hearing his father compliment her as much as she had.

Looking back up at J.R., Sue Ellen's eyes met his once again and their gaze lingered, exchanging more information than their words ever could. After so much turmoil, perhaps they finally had reached a peaceful plateau where they could all three co-exist. It was so much better than the self-imposed, angry isolation she and J.R. had each banished themselves to the past year.

With no more hesitation, Sue Ellen reached out her hand towards her ex-husband and smiled. "Come on in the house. Dinner is ready."

J.R. gladly took her hand then securely laced his fingers through hers. His grip was strong, reassuring, just as it had always been and Sue Ellen suddenly realized how much she had missed holding his hand. Missed him.

At that moment, walking beside J.R. with John Ross next to him, Sue Ellen truly appreciated the advice she had received from Don earlier that day … don't fear the feeling, embrace it. Because being with them, even if it was only for dinner, felt like there was no other place she wanted to be.


	27. Chapter 27

Wild Is The Wind, Part 27

Their first dinner together in over a year turned out to be very enjoyable. John Ross clearly liked that his wish for the three of them to be together had come true. But most importantly, the change in his mood had been unmistakable with his smile and laughter spreading to both his father and mother.

Even though J.R. had added his usual charm to the conversation, leaving John Ross unaware, Sue Ellen noticed he was still pale and unusually subdued. He also didn't have much of an appetite. She knew he was trying to fight off the lingering effects of the concussion and injury to his arm, but they were obviously still bothering him. With the way he had refused to rest, it was expected. However, it did worry her.

To her surprise, when dinner was finished, she suggested that he turn in early and J.R. agreed. John Ross soon followed at his scheduled time, also without a fuss, and the resulting quiet was a welcome change.

Sue Ellen took advantage of it, finally giving herself the much-needed chance to mentally step back and consider all that had happened throughout the day. Even with the loss of Don and the movie, even with J.R. asleep upstairs instead of at Southfork, she found herself at peace with the outcome. Most of her anger and fears were gone, replaced by a sense of calm, even hope. And even if the detente with J.R. didn't last, she would at least be looking to the future now instead of languishing in the past.

Something else that happened during her time alone was equally encouraging. Miss Ellie called and to the delight of them both, their conversation lasted nearly two hours. It had been a long time since they had really talked and Sue Ellen was grateful to find out that Ellie had not only forgiven her for the mistakes of the past year, she was also firmly back on her side.

Ellie told Sue Ellen about the confrontation between J.R., Cally, and Clayton. It had been a revelation and sounded as if J.R. truly was trying to do right by Cally, even if in his own unconventional way. When Sue Ellen mentioned that to Ellie, the older lady thoughtfully added that he was also trying to do right by Sue Ellen. To confirm it, Ellie confided with Sue Ellen about her early morning conversation with J.R. and his plans for the new ranch.

At first, it had been unsettling for Sue Ellen to hear just how deep J.R.'s devotion to her now ran. At the same time, it sounded promising. She was on the brink of taking such a huge risk, both mentally and emotionally, in even remotely trusting him again. Yet from all Miss Ellie had said, it sounded like this time he might finally be worth it.

Hearing J.R. had given up Ewing Oil and Southfork was the real clincher. Both places had long defined who he was and Sue Ellen never considered he'd give up either one let alone both. It made her wonder how he would survive without them. It would certainly test all that he had pledged to her the past few days. However, without them in his life and the mental scars they had left on them both, she hoped he might finally reveal the true, bare essence of the man he really was, something even she was unsure of.

Sue Ellen smiled to herself. Yes, it was going to be interesting to see the J.R. who emerged from the rubble especially now she had unexpectedly ended up with a front row seat. Whatever the outcome, she was certainly finding it more entertaining and infinitely more valuable than any of the revenge she had dreamed up for him.

It was like Miss Ellie had told her … J.R. was on his way to stepping out of his father's shadow and becoming his own man. If that really was the direction J.R. was headed then Sue Ellen had even greater hope, not only for her but their son as well.

Truth be told, she had started to worry about John Ross growing up with J.R. as a role model, especially now their son was in his vulnerable teenage years. Yet somehow, with the emergence of the new maturity in J.R. and the strong signs of John Ross' own developing maturity that he had demonstrated earlier in the driveway, their son had the chance of turning out even better than she hoped for.

She caught herself. There it was again … that word 'hope'. Maybe it was naïve of her, thinking everything would work out for the three of them after only one day. She still had so many doubts. Yet she could no longer deny how right it all felt. The tornado had caused so much pain and destruction but the place she was in now was so much better than where she had been the morning before it happened. They all were.

The clock on the mantel struck midnight, officially sounding the end of the day. What a day it had been. Sue Ellen sighed heavily, suddenly realizing how tired she was. She wearily rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her mind, putting off any other considerations or decisions. There was still so much to think about but getting some sleep would probably help more than anything. Then she smiled. On the other hand, like Don had told her earlier that day, perhaps it was simply time for her to just enjoy it all and stop looking for guarantees.

With that, she finally decided to climb the stairs and go to bed.

As she passed the door to John Ross' room, she couldn't resist the maternal instinct to look in on him. When she cracked the door open and saw him sleeping peacefully in his bed, she smiled again. Even though she was his mother and overly partial to everything about him, she couldn't have been any prouder or loved him any more than she did at that moment. Plus it was so good to have him living with her again, no matter how long it lasted.

She quietly closed his door then moved further down the hall toward her own room. As she passed the guest room, just like at John Ross' door, Sue Ellen couldn't resist the urge to look in on her ex-husband. Slowly opening the door, she carefully looked in but found both the bed and room empty.

"J.R.?" She softly called out but received no answer. Entering the room, she looked it over but found there was no sign of him except for his jacket that had been carelessly slung over the corner of the bed and his boots discarded nearby.

Puzzled, Sue Ellen began going through a mental list of all the places he could be before a flicker of a memory from earlier that day sounded in her head.

_Take me home, Sue Ellen … take me back to your bed._

It had been J.R.'s request while they were at the movie studio and Sue Ellen moved quickly out of the guest room and down the hall to her own room.

She found the door ajar and when she gently pushed it open, she smiled at finding her suspicions correct. J.R. was indeed asleep on her bed. When she walked over to him, it looked as if he had simply made it that far then collapsed, not even bothering to remove his clothes or slip under the covers.

She stood there and looked at him for several long moments, debating whether to sleep next to him or ask him to leave. He looked so peaceful, though, and he was such a heavy sleeper she knew getting him to move would be impossible. No, if anyone left, it would have to be her.

Deciding it might be better to sleep alone in the guest bedroom, Sue Ellen went to her bathroom and quickly got ready for bed. When she came back out, dressed in a simple satin robe and gown, she picked up a spare blanket then returned to the bedside to drape it over J.R.

"Sue Ellen?" He sleepily asked as the blanket floated down over him.

"J.R., what are you doing in my bed?" She softly countered.

Assured it was her, J.R. smiled and closed his eyes again. "Sleepin'. But don't worry, you won't even notice I'm here."

"You're a little hard to miss."

He looked up at her, the faint light of the window sparkling in his eyes. "Ain't it funny, considerin' how long we've been together, that I've spent more time sleepin' without you than I have with you?"

Sue Ellen reluctantly grinned at his observation. "And whose fault is that?"

"Ya got me," he replied with a yawn. "Must be that weird fondness you have for sleepin' in any room but mine." He slowly repositioned himself to look at her. "But I really do like it a whole lot better when you're sleepin' next me. Just like when I woke up in the hospital and found you there."

"Speaking of the hospital," Sue Ellen softly remarked, intentionally deflecting the charming statement as she felt herself slipping under his spell once more. "I'm worried about you. You didn't have much of an appetite at dinner and I've never known you not to be hungry. You feeling all right?"

"Just a little tired," J.R. softy replied as he tried to grin. "I'll make up for it at breakfast tomorrow … just watch me."

"It was rough out at the ranch today, wasn't it?" She persisted, undaunted by the lightness of his reply. J.R. warily looked back at her, silently questioning her, and she nodded. "Yes, I know. I talked to Miss Ellie. She told me what happened."

"Clayton came to Cally's rescue again," J.R. sighed. "That man is always meddlin' in my life one way or another."

"What do you expect, J.R.?" Sue Ellen pointedly replied. "You've run so many rotten schemes on Clayton over the years yet for the sake of the your mamma, he has always turned the other cheek. Maybe your treatment of Cally was the last straw for him."

"Just whose side you on, anyhow?" J.R. asked, irritated by her lining up behind Clayton again.

"I'm not on anybody's side!" She defensively replied. "It's just that I've been so impressed with the progress you've made the past few days, the way you've distanced yourself from the J.R. I once hated to someone I … well, someone I'm starting to care about again." She paused and shrugged her shoulders, cooling the sudden burst of emotion she was feeling. "I don't want to see you slip back to being the bastard you were before the tornado knocked some sense into you."

J.R. looked at her for a long moment, appreciating her honesty and that he had made an impression on her, then grinned. "Is that a fact?"

"Yes … just don't get too comfortable," she responded as if reading his mind "You are going to have to keep on behaving if you expect to stay here and that means you'll have to stop stirring up so much trouble, especially with Clayton. If not …"

J.R. held up his hands in resignation, stopping her. "All right ... all right … you made your point. Now how 'bout if we table this discussion 'til tomorrow? I really am dead tired and my head is poundin' like a cattle stampede."

"See, I knew you didn't feel good," she said, reluctantly giving in to him. "Have you taken anything for your headache?"

"No, and I don't want to. I hate those damn pain pills. Besides, it's nothin' some sleep won't cure." He relaxed against the pillow and closed his eyes again. "Now how 'bout shuttin' up and comin' to bed, honey?"

"Just as long as you know this discussion isn't over," she added, finding a way to have the last word with him. "Far from it. It's the first of many and if you think you can just give me that smile of yours and I'll fall back into your arms, you've got another thing coming, buddy."

J.R. would have laughed out loud at her impudent persistence and the delicious battle it promised if it didn't require so much energy.

"Yes, ma'am," he simply remarked with a smile. "Now come on over here and lie down."

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," she suddenly added.

J.R. groaned miserably then reluctantly opened his eyes again. "Sue Ellen, there is no need for you to sleep in the guest room. Like I told you, you won't even notice I'm here. And believe me, you have my word that nothin' will happen. I'm too damn tired." Then he softened. "Besides, after what happened between us last night, there is no need for you to be shy. So just let me hold you, will ya?"

Sue Ellen considered the simple request for a moment then sighed. "Damn you."

Not wanting to fight anymore or having the energy to do so, Sue Ellen walked over to the bed and slid under the blanket on the side of his uninjured arm. J.R. softly chuckled as he gently pulled her against his chest, enjoying both the feeling of her against him again and that she had finally given into him.

"Why is it," he murmured against the softness of her hair, "that when anyone calls me out, even my mamma, I can it shake it off like a duck with rainwater on its back. But when its you, I just have to put up with it."

Sue Ellen slowly grinned, his admission bolstering her once again as she relaxed against his chest and closed her eyes. "Because you know I'll tell you the truth whether you like it or not."

"Which I usually don't."

They felt silent for a moment then J.R. couldn't resist asking one more question.

"Say, exactly how much did my mamma tell you about what happened at Southfork this afternoon?"

"She told me everything."

"Everything? Even the part about me lovin' you and wantin' to do everything I can to win you back?"

"She told me that first thing," she softly replied. "If she hadn't, there is no way you would be sleeping in my bed tonight."

"Oh," J.R. wearily replied then chuckled again. "That's right. You don't kiss married men let alone sleep with them."

"Well … maybe just this once."

Sue Ellen rose up to softly kiss him then laid back down on his chest. J.R. smiled once again as he tucked her head back under his chin. She was right where he wanted her, right where she needed to be.

It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Wild Is The Wind, Part 28

J.R. heard himself inhale then the deep breath exited as a sigh, signaling he was coming out of the vast, unfocused expanse between sleep and consciousness. It was a wonderful sensation, unusually calm and peaceful, so unlike the quick, restless way he usually woke up. There were no meetings beckoning to him, no negotiations or phone calls on his agenda. Yet there was no panic at the lack of mental activity, either. Instead, he felt good … rested … like everything was in place.

It had been a long time since he had felt that kind of peace, the kind that granted him the deep, restful sleep he was just waking from. It was like when a good deal had been closed … after all the work had been done and the negotiations were locked in, the pieces finally came together making everything complete.

Funny how things change.

When he was younger, sleep was usually a low priority and a bed was simply the conduit used to get his way with any woman he chose. Now he was older, he appreciated a soft bed simply to sleep in. Just sleep, with no other expectations or demands. But then again, even without the sex, an empty bed felt just that … empty … especially when there was no special woman to share it with.

What a long, twisted path he had taken before he finally appreciated what it meant to sleep with the same woman every night. Sharing a bed like that created an unspoken trust, a bond that could only come from the warmth of two bodies lying asleep together, giving him a sense of trust like he rarely felt. Plus there was nothing like waking up with the familiar feel of long, silky hair spread over his chest … smooth, feminine skin against his … soft curves molded so perfectly against him …

Like now.

With a grin, J.R. realized his body had been aware of Sue Ellen lying next to him long before his drowsy mind had caught up. When he opened his eyes and found her against him, her arm and hair spread over his chest, he gently bent forward to place a light kiss on her forehead then relaxed back simply to look at her.

Damn, she was beautiful. The soft, early light of sunshine from the curtained window cast pale shadows across her face, gently defining her features, making her skin look like a pearl against the black water of her hair. It also outlined her mouth in a tempting curve of a half smile. It would be so easy to kiss her, so hard to resist not kissing her. But he would resist … for now. Now more than anything, he simply wanted to hold her.

How many times had he awakened, wanting to find her next to him then being disappointed at finding an bed empty or worse, finding some woman who was never quite as attractive in the hard light of day. It hadn't been just the past few months since Sue Ellen had moved off Southfork, either. Looking back, he now knew he had missed her every night she hadn't been there. All those nights she had spent in the room across the hall. All those times he had not gone home at night so he could chase some woman who ultimately meant nothing to him.

Then again, as different as he was now, so was she. She was so strong, so vibrant, so different from the young, shy beauty queen he had met and married. Now she was in complete control of her life, successfully managing everything from her finances to the tender emotions she once wore so openly on her sleeve. Emotions so strong she often found the need to drown them in vodka.

That thought caused a pang of regret to rip through his chest, knowing he had so often been the cause of her pain. But it was coupled with an intense sense of pride at all she had conquered and accomplished. She truly was an amazing woman. Yet even as deep as his appreciation for her now ran, it also raised a fierce duality, one that tore open the same old frightening vulnerabilities he had perceived as a weakness in the way he loved her only to now find his real weakness was how worthless and cold he felt when she was gone.

Somehow he had to find a new way, the right way, to show her exactly how much he did love her. Would he be able to find the way? Would she even give him the chance?

J.R. closed his eyes, shielding himself from the alternative. He would find a way … he had to. But he also knew he would need to just let go and let it happen because if he applied any kind of force or demands, there was no doubt he would lose her permanently. He couldn't let that happen, not now when she was so close to being his again.

Besides, losing her again was unthinkable.

His head pounded as his thoughts continued to race, swamping him, stirring up the remaining side effects of his concussion. Knowing he would be no good to either of them if it continued, he forced himself to relax back against the pillow again. Answers and guarantees be damned, the only thing he really needed was right there next to him, anyway, and he could gladly settle for simply having Sue Ellen asleep in his arms.

Finally content, J.R. returned his focus back on her. He lightly brushed a few fingers through her hair, pushing a long, dark strand behind her ear, revealing the enticing, sensitive part of her lower ear and neck. His fingers lovingly brushed against the skin the way he wished his lips could. Then he dropped them further down to her shoulder, over the silky material of her nightgown, taking time to follow each of her soft curves as he used his other arm to gently bring her more fully against him.

Sue Ellen made a soft sound deep in her throat, trying to say something even though sleep still held her. All she could sense was the secure, warm embrace she was dreaming of. Giving into the caress, welcoming the mysterious tingle of pleasure that came with it, she instinctively arched her back and slowly became more conscious to the feeling as it radiated out into a sense of anticipation and need, making her realize she was no longer dreaming. And not alone. That was no surprise, though. The sensations coursing through her were too familiar, too unique to be coming from anyone other than J.R.

"Mmmmm, good morning." Sue Ellen softly murmured as she opened her eyes, reveling in the alluring yet familiar way he had awakened her.

"Uh-huh," J.R. replied with a distracted nod, seemingly entranced not only by her body but also the opportunity to be touching her again.

He gently shifted to roll her onto her back, pulling the blanket away from them as he did, as he carefully pinned half of her beneath him. Even though they were both still clothed, he took advantage of her being less so, letting the thin, yielding material of her nightgown give both his hand and eyes more access to the curves of her torso.

Amused by how sweetly preoccupied he was, Sue Ellen took a moment to study his face, savoring both the adoration and arousal she found in his expression and in the silver color of his eyes.

His gaze felt like his hands, skimming gracefully over her as his skilled, elegant fingers barely touched the fabric of her nightgown. Yet she could feel every movement as his warmth transferred to her through the flimsy material, heightening the sensation his touch was causing, making her realize just how much she had missed it.

It was so sweet, so tormentingly slow, she shuddered slightly each time he hesitated to stroke her with his thumb then continued his descent, all the while closely watching his progress with an awed, hungry look that made her breath catch.

Once again, she was reminded how just two nights ago she accused him of using sex only to manipulate or overpower situations, finding no enjoyment in it any more. What he was doing now ... how he was doing it ... was proving her so wrong. This was no favor, no required reciprocation or scheme to win her over. She could see it was simply what he wanted to be doing, more than anything else, and he was enjoying it immensely.

So was she.

"So … how are you feeling this morning?" She asked a little breathlessly, trying somewhat rebelliously not surrender to him too quickly.

"I'm feelin' fine," he replied as he continued to watch his fingers slowly move down over her stomach. When he felt her tremble just a bit, his voice dropped in pitch to signal his satisfaction. "But not nearly as good as you feel."

His slow, sensual drawl combined with his touch, making another stronger zip of electricity race down her spine. Sue Ellen trembled again as she became completely sensitized to his touch. She knew she should stop him, knew where it would lead if she didn't. J.R. loved to make love in the morning. They had been late or missed too many Southfork breakfasts to count. But now was not the time to rediscover their passion, not when their teenage son would soon be waking up in the room just down the hall.

Fighting back a tiny cry of pleasure, Sue Ellen bit her lower lip and inhaled deeply through her nose, trying to focus back on him.

"J.R. Ewing," she weakly protested, placing her hand over his, "don't you even think about it."

He lightly stroked her again, taking her hand with him, making her outwardly shiver. "Mmmmmmm, think about what?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." It was another weak admonishment made even lamer as she tried to suppress the giggle caused when he inadvertently tickled her. "Our son is just down the hall and he will be waking up any minute now."

"So?" J.R. casually replied as he continued to seductively stroke her despite her hand over his. "He's gonna have to get used to me sleepin' with his mamma again, anyhow." Then he looked up at her and slowly gave his most wicked grin. "I have a feelin' he's not gonna mind a bit."

"We at least need to explain it to him first." She half-heartedly added, attempting to reason with him once again.

J.R. finally stopped, giving her a wondering look, hardly believing she had just agreed with him. "Does that mean you won't mind me sleepin' in here with you?"

"I should!" She playfully shouted before finally releasing the giggle she had been suppressing. "But I think I'm stuck with you."

"And you will be for a long … long … time to come," he drawled, emphasizing his words with renewed strokes of her skin.

The steadfastness of his voice mixed with the gentle feel of his fingers, setting off a new series of tingles that radiated from the pit of her stomach outward. When she giggled again, J.R. looked up at her, amused.

"That tickles." Sue Ellen softly explained.

"Uh-huh," he repeated with a deliciously wicked grin that signaled he had no intention of stopping.

"All right," she sighed, finally giving into the sensations. "You have until the alarm goes off. Then I've got to wake John Ross up and get him breakfast before I take him to school."

"Uh-huh," J.R. softly murmured again.

Even as good as his attention felt, Sue Ellen suddenly felt a pang of uncertainty, making her want something more from him than just a quick physical connection. She wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. It had always been such a hopeless quest, getting him to open up, yet something prompted her to try one last time.

"Look at me," she said as she gently framed his face with her hands, trying to bring his gaze up to meet hers.

J.R. resisted, instinctively knowing from the change in her voice what she wanted from him. Even though he had promised himself over and over again that he would give her anything she wanted just to be close to her again, the stakes were so high it still scared him to death. He had never loved anything like he loved her at that moment and there would be no turning back if he finally gave her his heart. But it would also mean he might finally achieve the one thing his daddy always had that he had never wanted for himself … the love and support of one hell of a good woman. With that, he boldly looked up at her.

Sue Ellen recalled a time not too long ago when she would have despised that look in his eyes. It would have reminded her how shamelessly he would make love to her, the way he would make her willingly give into him, make her give him all she was, only to have him turn on her, leaving her stranded in the emotional cold as he shut her out again. But now that same look was proving her so wrong. In his eyes she found the same dogged determination that made him formidable in the oil business but it was coupled with the kind of adoration he had only shown his mother and John Ross. Being in such select company would have been more than Sue Ellen ever hoped for yet there was something else, something she had never seen when he looked at her. It was a tenderness that once again stole her breath.

"You look like you want to promise me the world and love me forever," Sue Ellen whispered as a hint of emotion escaped her control.

J.R. gently smiled at her deliberate oversimplification but he was also amused how she had once again read his mind. "That and so much more, honey."

"I hope so, my darlin'," she replied as she unsteadily ran her fingers through the hair above his ear, hoping the seemingly casual gesture would diffuse her emotional awkwardness. "Because you've got me shaking in my boots right now."

J.R. knew she was telling him the truth even as she was trying to disguise her fear with bravado. "Don't be frightened of me any more, Sue Ellen," he softly replied as he leaned into her touch and kissed her hand. "I'm not gonna hurt you … never again."

Her hand froze and she looked away from him, smothering any other need to touch him … to reply to him … even to move. The honesty behind his words was extremely moving but it couldn't compete with the lingering phantoms of mistrust that suddenly welled up deep within her. She needed something more from him, something she couldn't name that would dispel her doubts. But whatever it was, he would have to be the one to find it.

Feeling both her emotional and physical withdrawal, J.R. searched her eyes for the reason. This was not the reaction he had anticipated after his declaration of love.

"What is it, Sue Ellen?" He pleaded, devastated that he might have somehow unintentionally hurt her again.

She found answering him difficult but J.R. guessed at what was bothering her. It was what had been making her hesitate and resist him since the tornado, no matter what he promised her with both his words and kisses.

"God only knows how our history together must be gnawin' at you," he wondered aloud as he stroked her face, gently coaxing her to turn her gaze back on him. "But if I'm gonna get any kinda' chance with you, you've gotta let go of all that. Hang on to me instead. I can't promise you I'll be perfect. Hell, I can't even promise you I'll behave all the time. It just ain't in me. But I can promise you I'll do everything I can to make you want to be with me. And neither one of us will ever have to wake up in an empty bed again."

Sue Ellen nodded with a reluctant grin, grateful he was indeed finding the way for her to follow as his words were right on target. But after a moment, her smile faded as more doubts surfaced.

"I'm just worried," she replied hesitantly, "that as good as it can be between us, I will never be enough for you. I never have been, no matter how much I wanted to be."

It was another deep, painful truth that was difficult to hear but J.R. knew she had a point. It made him pause to carefully consider his response before he spoke again.

"There is one big difference this time around, though," he quietly began. "Now, this ain't a pretty truth or one that I'm proud of, but we both know I've gone through my life only wantin' a woman to spend a few hours with … maybe a night." He smiled at her. "Not anymore. Wakin' up with you this mornin' … well, it just reinforced how much I want one woman to spend the rest of my life with. I want you."

Sue Ellen said nothing for a moment, choosing simply to enjoy the closeness of him while she pondered what came next. She could easily give into him. He was saying all the right things and his sincerity was as enticing as his touch had been earlier. Yet the impulse to give into him completely stilled warred with the misgivings of their past.

"You make it sound so easy."

"I know," he nodded, his smile fading as he became serious again. "And I don't mean it to 'cause I know it's not. I also know you've given me more chances than any one ever has even though I never really deserved them." He paused and sighed heavily. "But I surely would love to make that all up to you. You are special, Sue Ellen … the only woman I know with the body and brains to keep me goin'." He looked down at her for a long moment before he smiled at her again. "No, it ain't gonna be easy, us finally givin' in to each other. But oh, honey … it's gonna be worth it."

He was indeed saying all the right words, finding the magic combination she had been searching for to unlock the rest of her heart. But once again she fell silent.

Even though her continued silence worried him, J.R. didn't move, didn't shirk from the intensity of her gaze. He had verbally laid everything out there for her, revealing just how vulnerable he was to her, yet she hadn't accepted it yet. Not that he had expected her to immediately melt into him but he hadn't expected no response at all.

No doubt she was thinking, considering all her options. Maybe she was coming up with a way to kick him out of bed and her house. His head began to pound again at the internal conflict but he forced himself to breath. If she was going to kick him out he'd damn well savor the way she felt under him at the moment, the unique way they were breathing in rhythm for what he feared might be the last time. Then he felt the leap of her heart even before she spoke again.

"If I do this," she cautiously remarked, "it will be on one condition."

"Name it," he replied without hesitation even as his pulsed skyrocketed at her tentative agreement.

"There can be no talk of marriage, J.R.," she adamantly replied. "No promises at all because promises lead to regrets and heartbreak and I won't take that any more." She hesitated again, letting her emotional outburst settle before continuing in a softened tone. "But, God help me, I don't think I've ever stopped loving you … I probably never will. And I do want to be with you … with you and our son … so I will share a bed with you even though I vowed I never would again. I will also treasure every peaceful moment we spend together and with John Ross. But when it's over … and we both know it won't last because it never does … we are going to part amicably and go our separate ways with no more regrets and no more wars between us."

"That sounds pretty damn bleak, you puttin' it that way," he answered, anger starting to creep into his voice as disappointment settled on him after the initial elation of her declaration of love.

"What choice have you given me?" She replied defensively.

J.R. looked down and away from her for a moment, the decaying spiral of their conversation striking him like a slap in the face. This was not how he wanted this moment to be. But then again, she was right about certain things … again … damn it.

"All right," he quietly conceded, looking back up at her. "I'm gonna take you any way I can get you so you've gotta deal. However, I am gonna reserve the right to ask you about marryin' me again on the condition that, say in 6 months, I'll have proven myself to you again and earned the right. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do, Sue Ellen. You can count on it."

Sue Ellen studied his expression, looking for any outward traces of his usual deviousness. But when she found nothing except an adoring earnestness that held her spellbound, all other doubts were tabled and she nodded in agreement.

"Okay … you've got a deal."

"You are really gonna make me work for this, aren't ya?" J.R. teasingly remarked with another of his notorious grins.

"You're damn right I am." She grinned back.

Regardless of what it took, he knew being with her was going to be one of the sweetest deals he'd ever brokered, one that would allow him to acknowledge the mate he had always longed for, the one who had always been at his side, even as the liberation of openly loving her promised so much excitement.

"Then stop wastin' time talkin'," he growled.

J.R. quickly lowered his mouth to capture hers just as the irritating beep of the alarm clock sounded. He stopped, hovering just over her mouth, then swore under his breath as he reached over to turn off the clock, practically slamming his fist against it.

"Patience, my darlin'," Sue Ellen said as she softly laughed at his barely audible, wicked words. His reaction not only reinforced his impatience but also secretly thrilled her by just how much he wanted her. Needing to touch him if even just a little bit, she slowly ran a finger down the length of his jaw to his chin then back again. "If you meant what you said," she added, "we are going to have a lot more mornings together."

"I'm lookin' forward to it," J.R. replied, kissing her hand before reluctantly withdrawing so she could get up. When she turned away from him, he seized the opportunity to run the back of his finger down her spine, making her gasp as she momentarily convulsed into a shiver. "I have really missed wakin' up with you next to me."

"Are you getting sentimental in your old age?" She gently teased, looking back at him as she got up off the bed.

J.R. chuckled, watching closely when she stood as the silky material of her nightgown fell into place, once again accenting her curves, reinforcing how he would never get tired of looking at her.

"I keep tellin' ya', honey," he warmly remarked. "That's what gettin' my ass kicked by a tornado did to me."

The sensual tone of his voice wasn't lost on Sue Ellen but she countered with the lightening-fast counterpoint she had learned after battling with and loving him for so long.

"I didn't think anything would ever knock some sense into you," she lovingly teased again as she slipped on her robe.

"You're partly to blame, you know," J.R. casually answered as he sank back into her bed, placing the hand of his uninjured arm behind his head. "You just had to be a smart ass and show up on my weddin' day, just so you could have the last word."

Sue Ellen stopped to look back at him and momentarily lost her breath. The combined light-heartedness of his words and blatant sexual desire in his expression caused another shiver to run up her spine. But it wasn't the only reason. He looked good lying there on her bed, like it was where he belonged. And he did belong there. Just as she belonged to him … with him. She had always known that even as she had tried so hard to deny it. It was about time she finally admitted it.

"But look where it got us, my darlin'," she replied, her voice dropping in pitch, revealing the enjoyment of giving into him even if only verbally. "You're back in my bed."

"Right where I belong," he added with a grin.

"To the victor, the spoils."

"Oh, you think you've won, do ya?" J.R. asked, aroused by their continued verbal one-upmanship. "Well, if this is what losin' to you feels like, I'm gonna enjoy it 'cause I wanna be fightin' and makin' up with you for a long, long time to come."

"How about after I take our son to school?" She temptingly offered.

Now it was J.R. who lost his breath.

"Hurry home."


	29. Chapter 29

Wild Is The Wind, Part 29

_You touch me_

_I hear the sound of mandolins_

_You kiss me..._

_With your kiss my life begins_

_You're spring to me_

_All things to me_

_You're life itself_

------

Inside Sue Ellen's bathroom still steamy from his shower, J.R. briskly ran a towel over his damp hair then stepped in front of the mirror. Draping the towel around his neck, over the robe that was keeping the chill off his skin, he absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it into place before reaching for his shaving kit.

He took out his straight razor, shaving gel and aftershave then hesitated as he considered leaving all the things out on the vanity. Did he dare? The temptation caused him to grin at his own reflection as he contemplated it. After all, he was right where he wanted to be … right where he belonged. Then he thought better of it. He'd only just been invited back into Sue Ellen's bed. Better not overstep his welcome … yet.

He chuckled contentedly to himself, enjoying the good mood he was in. It was a feeling unlike anything he'd ever experienced and was difficult to describe. Just being with Sue Ellen and John Ross had become so satisfying. Being with them even made him surprisingly comfortable in a house other than Southfork. Probably because of the way they wanted him there, especially Sue Ellen.

He had never been one to put much sentimental value on anything but not even the ranch he grew up on nor his mother and father … not even Ewing Oil had ever given him this much enjoyment. Then again, nothing else had ever mattered to him as much as what had happened in this house the past few days. Somehow he had been given a second chance with his wife and son and being part of their lives, even in a house that wasn't his, was now the most important thing in his life.

Just the thought of Sue Ellen and John Ross made him stop as he lathered his face. His wife and son … just his wife and son … no more parents … no more brothers … just the three of them … together … his family.

J.R. grinned again through the foamy gel now covering his face then started shaving. He could finally name what he was feeling, something he had never really experienced in his life until now. After all, the burst of pride and longing in his chest could be no other thing. He loved Sue Ellen and John Ross … like he had never loved anything else. And it felt damn good.

As he continued shaving, his thoughts wandered back through the past few chaotic days … over all the unexpected places he'd been … retracing the emotional highs and lows he had never felt so deeply … so many of those emotions that led straight back to Sue Ellen.

Again J.R. smiled as he thought of her. She truly was an amazing woman, one that now eclipsed all others in his mind. She could be his most terrifying enemy … his most sarcastic reminder of all his weaknesses … the one person in the world who knew where he kept most of the skeletons locked in his closet. Yet there was no one who could unlock both his mind and heart like she had, freeing him from all the uptight conventions he had forced himself into most of his adult life. She made him fight harder than anyone he'd ever known while inciting a passion in him that only shot higher every time they encountered each other. However, now even that felt different.

The depth of the commitment he now felt toward Sue Ellen was totally new and it honestly surprised him. He'd been such a ladies man his whole life and committing to just one woman when there were so many to choose from had always seemed idiotic. Even while he was married. But after waking up with Sue Ellen little over an hour again, he knew he was bonded to her like never before. Felt things about her so unlike anything he had ever felt about anyone else. Not even for his mother … or John Ross … not even for the father he revered. With Sue Ellen, it felt like she was a part of him … a part he couldn't live without. And he didn't want to. Never again.

There would be no more short-termed reunions or fleeting moments of contact they had constantly engaged in for the past 20 years. Now he wanted to savor every moment with her … plan a future with her. And waking up with the same woman every morning for the next 20 or 30 years suddenly seemed a whole hell of a lot more enticing.

Starting right now.

With only a few strokes left to shave on his face, out of the corner of his eye J.R. caught sight of the bathroom door slowly opening. A charge of anticipation raced through him until Sue Ellen's eyes captured his through the reflection of the mirror.

In her gaze J.R. found the same kind of excitement and need he was experiencing, making a shiver race down his spine, further spiking the promise she had made that they would spend the morning together. As if to confirm it, he also noticed she had changed back into the satin robe she was wearing earlier. From the smoothness of the fabric, she was wearing little else.

"Hi, darlin'," J.R. casually tried to call out to her, his voice a little deeper than usual. It was suddenly difficult for him to control the bladed razor in his hand so he stopped trying. "You're back sooner than I expected."

"Mmm-hmmm," Sue Ellen pensively replied. "There wasn't much traffic."

J.R. could plainly see all the emotions she was experiencing. They were so clearly shining in the rich, deep color her eyes. Yet even though he was thrilled she was no longer trying to hide her feelings from him, he also sensed a somber thoughtfulness about her that made him cautious.

"Aw, I was hopin' it was 'cause you couldn't wait to get back here to me," he gently teased, hoping to lighten her mood.

She finally smiled. "That, too."

"Why didn't you come in and join me in the shower?" He grinned.

"I thought about it," she said as the tone of her voice fell serious again. "Guess I wanted something a little more … lasting."

J.R. looked at her for a long moment, finding himself totally captivated by the raw look of want on her face that echoed her comment, destroying any other coy impulses he had.

"Yeah," he sighed, the playfulness in his voice now gone.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself back to the task of shaving. He had to finish and remove any remaining trace of his beard. He wanted nothing to keep him from feeling everything she was about to give him.

With most of his face now clean, Sue Ellen concentrated on the small strip that remained unshaven. She found herself admiring the way J.R.'s long fingers held the razor as he deftly removed the last traces of his beard. It secretly amused her, seeing him use the straight razor instead of an electric shaver. She knew he usually used an electric one at the office or when he was in a hurry in the morning. But she also knew when he had the time, like now, he preferred the complete control a straight razor gave him, allowing him the closest shave possible. And she couldn't wait to test just how smooth his skin was.

There was no denying how much value she was placing on what was about to happen between them. She also knew it was dangerous feeling that way about him again. It had been so long since she had placed any kind of hope or trust on J.R. But no matter what happened, whatever way it turned out, she was determined that she would damn well enjoy it. He would, too.

She wanted him to know just how much she wanted him, wanted him to know how much she wanted this moment between them to happen. She would show him … God, how she wanted to show him. If he didn't feel the same way, though, she would know it and for once would understand. But either way it went, she knew it would be a moment they would both remember. There was just too much heat between them at that moment for anything less.

Catching glimpse of the new, eager look in her eyes, J.R. flourished the last stroke of his razor, finishing his shave, then bent down to quickly turn on the water and splash away any remaining traces of foam on his face. When he stood back up, he found Sue Ellen at his side, holding his aftershave bottle and carefully studying it.

"I remember the first time I bought a bottle of this for you," she remarked, her voice warmly distant from past memories as she traced the outline of the bottle. "It was just after that whole fiasco with B.D. Calhoun."

"Mmm-hmm," J.R. barely replied, fascinated by the way she was touching the bottle. When she looked back up at him, the look in her eyes made the breath catch in his throat.

He gently took the bottle of aftershave from her and opened it then shook a little of the liquid on his hands before setting the bottle back down on the vanity. Concentrating back on his reflection, knowing Sue Ellen's gaze was closely following his every move, J.R. ran his hands over his jaw and cheeks, letting the lotion energize his freshly-shaven skin.

"That's why I like it," he softly remarked. "It reminds me of the time we spent together after all that."

Some of the best times they had ever shared, Sue Ellen thought to herself. His words and the temptingly masculine scent of the aftershave caused a thrilling jolt of possessiveness to run through her, greatly enhanced by her finally hearing that that time together had mattered to J.R., too. More than Kimberly Cryder … more than Cally. Enough to make him keep something as a reminder of that time, an open sentimentality he rarely revealed.

J.R. fought the temptation to pull her into his arms as Sue Ellen reached up to stroke his cheek, letting the palm of her hand curve down around the outline of his jaw. The woman always did have the most expressive, seductive hands and could claim him as much with her touch as she could with her eyes.

When she looked back up into his eyes, their gaze locked as a familiar current of attraction passed between them. Suddenly the only thing that mattered was having their mouths on each other.

J.R. swept his head down, bringing it to hers in a skillful move made better by the unification of the perfect fit of their mouths. There were no hesitations, no clumsy adjustments to make because as they discovered once again, kissing was as natural and easy for them as breathing.

Sue Ellen slid her hands up around his neck and shoulders, bringing him closer even as he gently pushed her back against the vanity, trapping her against him. The deep internal spark that had flickered and returned when her eyes caught his in the mirror was now an intense heat, making her gladly follow where he led with the kiss, making her want more and more.

It wasn't long ago that the way she so willingly opened up to him would have infuriated her. Was this all he had to do? Bring her body against his and kiss her until she was incoherent? Well … yes when it felt like this. It felt too amazing to fight. And with that, she freely ceded the last bit of the control she had fought so hard to win from him. When she did, she was rewarded with him melting into her, totally giving himself to her in return.

It was only one kiss … it shouldn't matter … yet it made all the difference in the world as it became a mutually possessive claim, the kind that connected their minds as well as their mouths, clearly branding each as "taken" while making them both remember just how good it felt when they finally gave into each other. Yet they both felt how their bodies wanted more.

Feeling himself sinking into the kiss too fast, too deep, J.R. pulled back just a fraction. Not enough to separate from her or even stop kissing her but enough to give him back at least a little control over his own body. He feared it was the only way he would be able to find out and fully experience just what "lasting" had meant when she said it earlier.

"Damn … I want you," he breathed out, his words barely audible as he gently teased her mouth with fleeting contact.

As much as his verbal demand seared into her own need, Sue Ellen found herself awed by her seemingly easy ability to seduce him when she looked up into the steel blue of his eyes and found them no longer reservedly amused but burning with the never-satisfied hunger she knew so well. A wicked need to further tease him made her slowly smile and run the tips of her fingernails down his back, making him flinch, even as she matched the advance-and-retreat of the playfully enticing way he kept kissing her.

"Take me then," she whispered as both a challenge and surrender.

As if kissing her hadn't been enough, her words surged the tidal wave of desire higher, wiping out any further idea J.R. had to be playful. It was time they were in the bedroom … on the bed … now.

Continuing to kiss her with small, glancing grazes of his mouth, J.R. slid his hands around her hips then guided her out of the bathroom, out into the bedroom toward the bed.

"What are you doing?" She grinned, clearly surprised.

J.R. gave her a slow, sensual smile that hinted at exactly what he was doing before his drawled out words did. "Gettin' us onto your bed."

The blatant explanation combined with the slightly dizzying sensation of walking backward while being kissed, causing an excited tingling that tightened her stomach, making Sue Ellen want to both giddily laugh and squeal with terror. But with the strong support and guidance of his arms and the insanely tempting way he continued to trail tempting kisses across her face, she gave into him and trusted the way he was guiding her across the room. It wasn't long before her knees buckled slightly as she felt the edge of the bed stop their progress.

Again J.R.'s mouth came down to claim hers, this time completely, refocusing both their attention back on their desire, making it engulf them once again after the concentration their dance-like journey across the room had taken.

Raising his knee up, resting it on the edge of the bed to balance him, J.R.'s arms clinched around Sue Ellen's back to support her as he slowly guided her down on the mattress.

He had done it before, used the move to get her both on the bed and under him in such a slick, practiced way that Sue Ellen had always fallen for it. Even now. Maybe even more so, it felt so good. But then she noticed a flicker of pain cross his face that he quickly tried to conceal with a half-hearted smile.

When J.R. saw Sue Ellen's concerned gaze dart to his injured shoulder then back to his face again, he knew there was no way he could bluff his way past the pain he had felt but tried anyway.

"I'm fine," he gently reassured her.

"The hell you are," she tenderly replied and she lightly ran her fingers over his chest and sore shoulder. "You never have given yourself a chance to properly heal. You're not ready for this."

"The hell I'm not," he playfully echoed back. "I was just fine night before last when we were together. I'm even better now." Then he slid his leg over hers, pinning her to the bed and against him in an easy, unthreatening way. "Besides, I don't give a damn about how I'm feelin' right now except for how much I need you. Don't you dare run out on me now, honey."

Sue Ellen had considered just that … ending what was happening between them before it escalated higher and caused him any more pain. Yet that sensibility was raging against the deep desire he had ignited in her … and it was losing. She wanted him … so much. Knew he wanted her the same way. Then an idea hit her, one that would have probably made her blush if she hadn't already been so sensually saturated.

"How much do you trust me?" She softly said as she continued to stroke his shoulder and chest.

"Completely," he said without hesitation.

The quick conviction of his reply made Sue Ellen look into his eyes, expecting to find traces of his usual deception there. What she found, though, was an honest devotion that momentarily stole her breath, removing any other uncertainty about her plan. He did trust her, would trust anything she did to make this happen between them. Then it occurred to her it might even give her another reason to believe all he had been promising lately. If he trusted her enough to cede control just this once, he might finally trust her enough to let her in and love him like she always wanted to.

So much for simply spending the day in bed together. The stakes were now so much higher than that.

J.R.'s expression knitted into questioning surprise as he felt Sue Ellen shift from under him then as her hands strengthened against his chest to firmly push him away. Panic struck him, fearing she was leaving him, until he realized she was instead guiding him over onto his back. Giving into it, he rolled over and found himself looking up at the ceiling until Sue Ellen was over him, her face and long, dark hard blocking out anything else but her.

"Slide up here on the pillows," she softly commanded.

Using his good arm, J.R. slowly inched higher up on the bed as she kneeled at his side, carefully watching that he showed no signs of pain. When he was settled and she was satisfied he wasn't hurt, she smiled at him.

"How does that feel?"

"Fine," he impatiently replied. "Now c'mon over here."

He reached out for her but she easily evaded him even as she took hold of and held his hand. She placed a lingering kiss on the backside of it then held it against her cheek. The elevated heat of her skin quickly transferred to him through his, matching his own.

Sue Ellen hesitated for a moment longer as she held his gaze, mentally daring herself to go on, then inched closer to him. When she was close enough, she straddled his stomach in such a graceful move J.R. was momentarily stunned. If he hadn't been so intoxicated by her, he might have been amused at the bold challenge she was offering. She had rarely been this blatant with him before, usually demurely giving him control. This was a whole new experience.

When he was with a woman, J.R. wanted to be in control and set the pace. But the way it felt as she adjusted to him, settling down with such a mind-numbing slowness, she let him know she knew exactly what she was doing and he found himself enjoying it. Immensely.

There was something about her actions that said this wasn't just because of his injuries. It was as if she was doing it because she now knew she was the only woman who could get away with it. Yet the way she never took her eyes from his, he also knew this was so much more that just about sex. Even though she wouldn't say it, he knew she craved some proof of the fidelity and trust he had promised her so many times during the past week. For that, he would give her anything she wanted because his response to this moment, this incredible moment that was becoming so much more intimate than anything he had ever experienced, would be the start of their future together.

Feeling him yield, Sue Ellen framed his face in her hands, letting her fingers trace over his smooth jaw, savoring how close his shave had been. Her hands then dropped to his neck … collarbone … chest … making him involuntarily shudder at the path she was taking even as the open silk of their robes flowed so soothingly across them both.

Until that moment, Sue Ellen had mentally kept herself away from him, using careful deliberation to keep protective barriers up that would keep J.R. from getting too close to her heart again. Yet during the past week, he had been so determined, so caring about what she thought and felt, trying to please her to the point he might have been willing to make his pleasure secondary to hers. That alone was a startling and refreshing change about him. But she had to wonder if she would have really enjoyed that.

With a slow, wicked grin that could have been a mirror image of her ex-husband, Sue Ellen's rebellious side surfaced again. Even with J.R.'s injury, having this time together be one-sided for either one of them was out of the question. If they were going to be together like he had suggested then they would be a couple again in every equal sense of the word and she was about to show him how.

What a cliché to say this time was different. But it was. Their sexual reunion a few nights earlier had taken the keen edge off their need, granting them a slower, more patient and attentive rediscovery of each other now. Just like their kisses that had started it all, their tempo became a mutual give-and-take that wantonly coaxed each other higher.

Ambiguity had defined the risky games they had both played throughout the years of their unstable relationship. But it had also brought them to that moment in time when uncertainty was extinguished, finally overpowered by the erotic non-verbal communication they had developed into precision. They no longer needed to hear what the other was feeling, they felt it through this brash new, honest exchange of movement and emotion that had started on the cold, dark cement floor of the storm shelter and lead them to this moment.

It was a sheer, sincere level of ecstasy that made all the doubts they had faced all week no longer matter while giving them a release so intense it both exhausted and overwhelmed them, irrevocably locking them together both physically and mentally.

Truly and finally mates in the best sense of the word.


	30. Chapter 30

Wild Is The Wind, Part 30

Later that afternoon, wearing only their robes, J.R. and Sue Ellen stood together at the kitchen counter, quietly talking about nothing important as they snacked on fruit, cheese, and crackers.

It was an easy contentment they found with each other, like nothing they had ever fully experienced together, sharing the mutually satisfying lovers aura that remained after love accompanied lust. Wanting it to last, they remained physically close, rarely separating for long.

J.R. leaned against the cabinets, leaving one hand free for the food as he held Sue Ellen with the other, her back against his chest and her long, dark hair between them.

"I knew you'd be hungry." Sue Ellen remarked with a smile as she handed J.R. back a slice of cheese.

"I'm starvin'," he replied as he chose to take the slice from her with his teeth instead of his fingers. When she giggled, he laughed, too, pleased that he had amused her. He then wrapped his other arm around her waist, bringing her completely against him as he whispered against her ear. "But you don't have to wait on me, you know."

"I know I don't," she said shyly, adoring both the strong, supportive feeling of his arms around her waist and the brush of his breath against her ear. "But I kinda like being nice to you … for a change."

J.R. grinned again and kissed the top of her head. "Well, I could get used to it. It surely is better than you bein' mad at me."

"I agree," she said reflectively as she arched back to rest the side of her head against his jaw. As if to verify her words, she placed her hands over his resting on her waist and stroked her fingertips over the skin of his wrists and arms.

"You know, as good as this is," J.R. muttered, deeply affected by her touch as he gently shifted to guide her around to face him. "There is somethin' I need more than food right now."

When Sue Ellen was facing him, he carefully studied her expression and once again became entranced by the depth of her eyes. They were so animated, the windows to her emotions. The spite and indifference was gone, replaced by a warm sparkle that became brighter when she smiled at him as she was doing now. With a twinge of regret he realized her eyes had been too dark for too long, mostly due to the way he had neglected her over the years.

What a gift to have her standing before him, giving him an opportunity to reverse some of that damage. Gently framing her face with his hands, J.R. pulled Sue Ellen into a slow, soft kiss. As they both gave into it, it quickly deepened, reigniting all the sensations of the past few hours.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" She asked breathlessly as he traced the kiss down over her jaw. "The fact that I gave into you?"

"Honey, if this is what it feels like when you give into me," he replied against her skin then raised his head to look at her, "how come I feel like the one who's been completely undone? And thoroughly enjoyin' it, I might add."

In response to the sweet vindication of hearing he was experiencing similar emotions, Sue Ellen's expression became a mixture of amusement and contemplation as she ran her fingers up over the silky material of his robe to the back of his neck, letting her thumb lingeringly trace over his skin to the collar of the robe.

"How is that two such brilliant people …" she softly remarked before being interrupted.

"Brilliant … I like that," he teased.

"How is it," she repeated, giggling again at his show of ego, "that two such brilliant people can be so stupid about each other?" That made a questioning expression flash through J.R.'s expression and she explained. "After all the time we've been together, we are only just now finding a way to understand each other." She lovingly drew him closer to offer him a quick kiss. "What a way to find out. But we've wasted so much time, J.R."

"I know," he nodded wistfully in return as he rested his forehead against hers. "But let's just keep right on goin', no matter what, 'cause who knows what else we'll find."

Sue Ellen smiled again. "Mmmmm, that sounds good."

"No more reservations about us bein' together?" He carefully asked.

"Some," she replied honestly. "But we made one hell of a step forward today."

J.R. grinned again. "Yes, we did."

With the importance of their feelings acknowledged, their conversation trailed off and Sue Ellen relaxed against his chest, letting J.R. wrap his arms around her. In response, J.R. protectively skimmed his hand down her back in a long, steady stroke, enjoying the way her body settled against his with no resistance to his touch. All the fight was gone out of her, at least for now, and it left him feeling satisfied to the point of unconsciousness. But as tired as he was, he didn't want to go back upstairs and give into sleep. Not just yet. He couldn't bear to miss a thing about her at that moment.

In the quiet coexistence that settled between them, the magic of all that had happened came back in rational, breathtakingly clarity, leaving them both awed.

Sue Ellen was thrilled by how truly open he had become with her, finally verbalizing all he felt instead of so secretly keeping it to himself. But she also knew it would have never happened if she hadn't given into him.

What a relief that her need for control where he was concerned was gone. It no longer mattered that she had exposed previously unthinkable vulnerabilities to him, giving him her body and soul without question. In no way had it felt like defeat, though, because surrendering to him had brought out his own unguarded response, making them equals on a whole new level.

He had whispered things that would have normally made her blush but instead it had driven her wild, just as he planned. Yet what started out as a running dialogue of his most vivid, love/hate memories of her became promises of what they were going to do and feel together then culminated so beautifully in all the things he loved about her. Things he had never told her in either sane or incoherent moments. Because of that, he had made her feel like the center of his world, a feeling she fully reciprocated.

Simply holding her, J.R. found himself enjoying everything about the lady in his arms. Not only because of the way his body still buzzed from all Sue Ellen had given him but also for the newfound freedom she had helped him rediscover in his soul. He had let himself become practically incoherent earlier with all he had whispered to her, about her. But it was twenty years worth of things he had denied telling her and once released, it came out in a flood of loving words he couldn't stop nor did he to try. She had granted him a pleasure so intense and in a way no one else had ever done that it freed him from any more anger or self-condemnation just because he finally chose to love her.

What a revelation to find out he had been so right about her all along … she truly was special. She had to be. He had never felt such a possessive, consuming grip in the center of his chest about anyone else. How could he? The way she felt in his arms … under his hands. He had belonged to her the moment he had laid eyes on her so many years ago. It had only taken twenty years and a tornado before he finally admitted it.

In a way, finally being so open with each other had also released them from the self-inflicted damages they had carried since childhood. Their relentless drive to succeed both in spite of and to please their controlling parents no longer mattered because they had completely pleased each other. It was as if by finally letting each other in, they experienced not only a love like nothing they had ever imagined but also an acceptance that finally removed any disapproval their parents had left on their souls.

"Damn," J.R. softly wondered aloud at the progression of his thoughts.

Sue Ellen raised her head to look up at him and nearly melted with the way he was looking at her. There was such a softness in his smile and the blue intensity of his eyes it confirmed a love she had previously only hoped he had hidden somewhere in his soul for her.

"Tell me what that look is for," she gently asked, needing to hear if she was right.

J.R. paused and considered her request then smiled. "I'm not real sure I can."

"Would you try … for me?"

Once again, she was tempting him to open up, this time verbally, and in way he had never done before. Yet instead of feeling uncomfortable like he usually would have, J.R. found himself willing to do anything she asked, especially this.

"You've ... won me over," he cautiously replied, carefully considering his words. "In a way I never really expected. It's like I'm seein' you … feelin' you … in a way I never have. And it's growin' stronger by the minute." He paused for a moment then smiled as he continued. "I'd move heaven and earth for you … all you have to do is ask."

Sue Ellen wondered up at him, stunned by the simple sincerity of his words. "Do you have any idea how sweet that sounds?"

J.R. looked away from her for a moment then shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know … guess I'm not too good at this."

"No, you're wonderful!" She grinned.

His gazed darted back up to her and he returned her smile. "Well … I am enjoyin' it … and you." J.R. silently looked at her for several long moments and found more he wanted to share with her. "Sue Ellen, you've been so angry at me for so long. And for good reason, I ain't denyin' that. But when you'd glare at me … damn. It would make my blood run cold." Then he gingerly touched his jaw. "And that right hook you landed on my jaw at the Oil Barons Ball ... I can still feel that." They both smiled knowingly at the memory then J.R. fell serious again. "I'm not real sure what you find in me that still makes you want to be here. But I sure as hell am glad you are."

Sue Ellen was stunned once again by his words as she replayed and questioned what he had just said. Could it be that J.R. had never truly felt worthy of being loved by a wife who had adored him? Is that what had turned him against her so many times? If so, there could only be one reason for it … the strict, emotional reserve that had been forced on him since childhood. Damn Jock Ewing to hell for doing that to his oldest son and namesake.

Her expression twisted into an empathic acknowledgement of understanding as Sue Ellen was finally convinced she had done the right thing by granting J.R. this last chance. As if to confirm it, she tightened her arms around him and once he was securely against her, she tipped her head down into the crook of his neck and cradled against him further.

The comfort J.R. found with her in her arms made him realize it was the one place he was finally safe to simply be who he really was. No more games, no more deceptions, no more unattainable expectations. He was truly free.

"I've got no room for error here," he gently said against the softness of her hair. "No more second chances. One more screw-up ... hell, even the tiniest hint of betrayal ... and you will be gone. That terrifies me, Sue Ellen. And, God willin', it's gonna keep me on the straight and narrow from now on."

As if to reassure her, J.R. softly stroked her back, knowing she was considering all he said. Then he felt the unexpectedly light trace of the muscles in her cheek contracting against his chest and knew she was smiling.

"So, are you going to be eternally devoted to from me now?" She sweetly teased.

"You can count on it, darlin'," he grinned. "So stop worryin' this ain't gonna last between us." He pulled back to look down at her. "Lord knows I've never given you reason to believe in my fidelity. And it's only been this past week since I got the hell beat outta me by that tornado that I've truly known I was capable of it. But you and the boy are all I want now." J.R. suddenly recalled his dream about Jock. "My daddy had it all … the family, the ranch, the company … stuff I always figured I had no chance of ever havin' so I never really tried. But now I know why he had it … he had just one special woman to come home to every night and share it with. You are that woman for me, Sue Ellen. I just hope you'll wanna stick around now."

Sue Ellen found herself deeply flattered by all he said, especially being compared to Miss Ellie. And even though the image of her and J.R. becoming the next generation of his parents was amusing, it was also an incredibly enticing possibility.

"You keep on proving to me you're worth it," she replied with a slow, tempting smile, "and I won't be going anywhere."

With that, J.R. pulled her into a kiss that he had every intention of turning into something much more. And even though she allowed herself to enjoy it momentarily, Sue Ellen soon resisted and pulled back from him.

"J.R. Ewing, don't you even think about it. You are not getting me back into bed."

"That's exactly where we're goin," he replied, undeterred.

"No, not until you're feeling better," she gently resisted.

"Sue Ellen, will you stop worryin' about me?" He complained as he trailed a kiss from her brow down to her nose. "I'm fine. Now c'mon back upstairs with me."

"Listen to me," she resisted again, drawing back far enough to capture his attention while avoiding the temptation of his kisses. "If you want to start proving yourself to me then you can start right now." When J.R. stopped and knitted his brow in a confused frown, Sue Ellen lightly kissed him. "I know you have a headache. You do, don't you?"

"Sue Ellen …" he sighed, trying to protest before she quickly kissed him again, briefly silencing him.

"I _know_, J.R." She added emphatically.

J.R. realized arguing with her further would require a lie and lying to her was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. When he finally relaxed, signaling his consent, he was rewarded with another kiss.

"All I want is for you to rest, sweetheart … really give yourself a chance to recover," she softly requested between another kiss. "That's all. Just stay in bed and sleep today … maybe tomorrow, too. Would you do that for me … please?"

When she finished, J.R. slowly smiled at her as the wisdom of her words sank in. Resisting such a caring, simple request would be impossible and in all honesty, he was exhausted. His head and shoulder also still ached from the injuries he had sustained during the tornado. What wasn't a surprise, though, is that she knew. She always had known him best.

"Truth be told," he reluctantly replied, "I haven't been feelin' all that good. The shoulder is all right but I do still have this damn headache. So … I promise. I'll go back to bed." Then he stroked his fingers lightly down her spine, making her involuntarily arch into him. "Any chance you'll come with me?"

Sue Ellen blushed then grinned. "Neither one of us will rest if I do." J.R. chuckled, pleased by the implications of her honest answer. "Besides," she continued, "I need to pick John Ross up from school this afternoon." Then she smiled up at him. "But I will sleep with you tonight. Would that work?"

"Oh, honey," he grinned, "it surely will."

"All right then. Let's get you back upstairs and in bed."

"Wait a minute … before you go," he said, holding her against him when she tried to pull away.

Sue Ellen looked back up at him, surprised that he was still resisting her. Yet in his eyes she found a look she couldn't fathom before it softened into something she had always wanted to see but rarely had.

J.R.'s smile gentled as ran a long lock of her hair through his fingers, giving him a moment before he revealed something else he had always longed to tell her.

"I just want to tell you," he started then paused, uncharacteristically revealing a shy hesitation before he continued. "That I love you, Sue Ellen."

Sue Ellen froze. She had dreaded hearing those three words from him since the tornado. The same three words she had heard from him so many times before when he didn't mean it and had broken her heart because of it. It was why she had vowed never to trust hearing those words from him again.

Yet she had spent the past year dissecting and rationalizing all the disillusions she held about J.R. Ewing. It had given her a keen awareness about him, allowing her to gauge his words by his body actions, clearly knowing when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. This time, she knew what he was saying was different. This time, she knew he truly meant it.

"J.R.," she quietly pleaded, still finding it difficult to fully accept his declaration of love. "Please say those words to me again in a few months … after you have given me enough reasons to really believe it."

The near desperate tone of her voice startled J.R. It wasn't the response he had expected but he had never expected her to fall completely for the admission, either. And the more he thought about it, the more overwhelmingly attractive her hesitation and request became. He would prove to her he meant it. He was even more determined to do so. And he would make damn sure she enjoyed every minute of it.

"I plan on it, honey," he grinned. "And I'm lookin' forward to the day you'll say it back to me."

Even though it terrified her to admit it, Sue Ellen knew she was in over her head with him. Falling in love with J.R. again would be impossible … impossible because she was already there.

Reaching up to pull him down to her, Sue Ellen kissed J.R. with all the pent-up hopes and frustrations she was feeling, letting the kiss land on him with the passionate, desperate impact of one of her notorious right hooks.

It was all there in that one kiss … the love she had once felt for him, the bond that came from giving him a son, the pain of all she had lost when he had abandoned her, the passion of their renewed union.

The kiss bound Sue Ellen to J.R. like nothing else could, making him revere her like never before. And even though she hadn't said it, he knew she was his again. This kiss was all the confirmation he needed. But just as quickly as it had started, she ended it and pulled away.

"Now go back to bed," she breathlessly whispered against his lips.

J.R. stood braced against the cabinet for moment, in a temporary state of paralysis at both the unexpected depth of the kiss and her rapid withdrawal. But as the shock wore off, he grinned at her again, both awed and excited by the velvet-gloved power she now held over him.

"Yes, ma'am."


	31. Chapter 31

Wild Is The Wind, Part 31

At dinner that night, Sue Ellen sat with John Ross at the dining room table, discussing his schoolwork as they ate.

"Are you sure you missing so much school after the tornado isn't going to mess up your final grade?"

"Nah, don't worry about it, Mom," John Ross assured her. "I've got it all worked out. I'm even all caught up on my homework."

"Wow, that didn't take you very long," Sue Ellen replied, impressed. "But then again, I should have known. After all, you're not only handsome, you're very smart."

"Aw, Mom," he shyly grinned. "Cut it out."

"I have every right to make a fuss over you," she gently teased. "That's what mothers do."

"And do real well, I might add," came a masculine voice from across the room.

Surprised, they both turned to see J.R. walking toward them casually dressed in a shirt and slacks instead of the robe Sue Ellen expected.

"Hey, Dad!" John Ross exclaimed, happy to see his father.

"Evenin', John Ross," he grinned as he approached the table, rolling up his shirtsleeves. Then he looked over at Sue Ellen and quickly bent down to kiss her cheek. "How you and your mamma doin' tonight?"

"Great!" His son exclaimed as he closely watched his parents, surprised by the quick moment of closeness they had just shared. "But Mom said you weren't feeling very well and you were sleeping."

"She was right, I was," J.R. replied then he looked down at the table and the food spread out around them. "But who could sleep with all this food smellin' so good down here." He pulled out a chair and moved it close to Sue Ellen. When he sat down, he smiled at her before taking her fork from her and taking a bite of food off her plate.

Both irritated and amused at his nerve yet overjoyed to see him looking so well-rested … and handsome, she mentally added, Sue Ellen called out to her maid.

"Carmen, would you bring Mr. Ewing a plate and silverware, please."

"I'll be right there, Mrs. Ewing," her maid replied from the kitchen.

Looking back at J.R., Sue Ellen said, "I could have brought something up to you if I'd known you were awake."

"No, this is just fine," J.R. disagreed with a smile as he took another bite off her plate. "I'd rather be down here. Besides, I wanted to talk to John Ross."

Suddenly concerned, John Ross looked warily over at his father. "Did I do something wrong, Dad?"

"Oh no, son!" J.R. grinned back. "Not at all. What I want to talk to you about … it's all good."

Carmen entered the room and placed the plate and silverware in front of J.R.

"Thank you, Carmen," J.R. said appreciatively to the maid. "This food looks wonderful."

"Thank you, Mr. Ewing," she cheerfully replied, impressed by his unusually good mood as she looked over at her boss. "Will there be anything else, Mrs. Ewing?"

Still looking at J.R. and smiling, Sue Ellen shook her head.

"No … thank you."

As the maid exited the room, Sue Ellen marveled at her ex-husband. He looked younger, more vibrant than she had seen him in years. Maybe he was experiencing the same kind of exciting feelings that had been coursing through her. Was is just the sex or was it really possible they could find this much happiness together again? After all they had been through, that last thought was difficult to believe but incredibly enjoyable to consider.

"I'm starvin'," J.R. said as he dished a little bit of all the different dishes onto his place.

Sue Ellen rolled her eyes and softly laughed. "You are always starvin'."

"With good reason," J.R. replied and looked over at her with a heat that both made her tingle and slightly blush before she realized their son was carefully watching them both.

"Is something going on?" John Ross cautiously observed.

"There sure is, son," J.R. beamed at him. "And it's what I wanted to talk to you about. I did something today you need know about."

Sue Ellen quickly looked over at J.R., her eyes revealing an expectant panic that he would reveal too much. But J.R. just winked at her and continued.

"John Ross, what I did today was amazin'," J.R. repeated, a rare sincerity warming his voice as he reached over to take Sue Ellen's hand. "I told your mamma that I loved her. I also told her I wanna be with her and you from now on. I want us to be a family again. How would you feel about that, son?"

John Ross was having a difficult time believing he had actually heard what his father said. His eyes grew wide as he looked first at his father then over at his mother, who gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.

"Whoa, are you kidding me?" John Ross finally replied. "I'd love it!"

Both J.R. and Sue Ellen laughed at his enthusiasm.

"But wow, what happened to change your minds?" He innocently asked.

Sue Ellen felt herself blushing again and J.R. squeezed her hand.

"Your mamma and I ... well, we came to an understandin' this mornin'," J.R. explained. "It just ain't the same when we are livin' apart and neither one of us likes livin' without you, so ... we figured the three of us livin' all together would solve the problem."

"What about Cally?" John Ross carefully asked his father.

"I told Cally, John Ross. She knows your mamma is who I belong with."

"And what about that English guy?" John Ross asked his mother.

"Don knows I've decided to give your father another chance."

"You've both been so mad at each other for so long," John Ross wondered. "Does this mean you are both okay with each other now?"

Sue Ellen looked at J.R. then back at John Ross. "We are working on it, sweetheart."

"Wow," he wondered aloud again. "Just when I thought everything about the tornado totally sucked, this happens." He grinned at them. "Us being together again is all I've wanted for a long time, Mamma and Daddy. Thanks!"

"Awww, son," J.R. grinned. " Thank you. You've been so patient with us."

"And we are both so glad we now get to spend as much time with you as possible." Sue Ellen happily added.

"There's just one more thing, though." J.R. added, his voice becoming serious. "Even though I'm not married to your mamma ... yet ... I still want to live with her like she's my wife." J.R. laced his fingers through Sue Ellen's as he smiled at her. "And she has agreed." Then he looked back at John Ross. "Would you be okay with that, your parents livin' together even though we aren't officially married?"

"You mean like you would kiss each other and not yell at each other like Uncle Bobby and Aunt Pam used to do?"

"Well, I can't guarantee there won't be any yellin' 'cause sometimes I just have a way of gettin' under your mamma's skin," J.R. added then looked back at Sue Ellen. "But the kissin' part ... you got my word on that." He looked back at his son. "Because John Ross, your mamma truly is my wife in all the ways that matter. It just took me gettin' hit upside the head by a tornado to really appreciate that."

John Ross looked at his mother, needing confirmation once again. When she nodded and happily smiled at him in a way she hadn't done in a long time, he knew everything was going to be all right.

"I think I'm gonna like this," John Ross grinned in agreement.

J.R. gently squeezed Sue Ellen's hand again. "Me too, son ... me, too."

John Ross noticed the looks that passed between his parents, looks he had seen between them right before that last barbeque at Southfork before his mamma left the ranch. He had even seen the looks a couple of times during the past few days since the tornado and had wondered what they meant. But now he knew the reason, he realized they both seemed happy like he hadn't seen either one of them be for a long, long time.

He simply shrugged and grinned at them then continued eating. His parents could act so crazy at times but he did love them both. And now they loved each other again. Even better, he would no longer have to choose between them.

No matter how long it lasted, he knew it would be good.


	32. Chapter 32

Wild Is The Wind, Part 32

Sue Ellen glided through the pool, concentrating on a rigorous set of laps. The water felt wonderful as it flowed across her skin, molding to her before slicing away, clearing her thoughts and easing the buzz of nerves she was still experiencing from the past few days. It was a break she welcomed, making her accelerate her pace, pushing harder, faster through the water as she got all she could out of the exercise.

Finally satisfied with the workout, she stopped at the deep end of the pool then inhaled and dived back into the water. Nearing the surface at a spot along the side, Sue Ellen tilted her head back, letting the water slick her hair into place just as the water broke open around her.

The mid-morning breeze cooled her wet skin, making an invigorating difference between the temperature of the water and the warm, sultry air. Enjoying the sensation, she pulled herself up, leveling her arms across the warm cement of the edge then rested her chin on top of them. As her breathing slowed and the water weightlessly balanced her, the silent seclusion of the patio made her grateful for the time alone.

John Ross was at school, Kelly was handling the office, and J.R. was still asleep upstairs. The quiet, just like the water, gave her time to think … time to recover … time to simply enjoy.

A smile slowly curved her lips. She did feel better. Hell, she felt fantastic! The brisk exercise had left her feeling refreshed both mentally and physically. It was the perfect compliment to the sound way she had slept during the night with J.R. against her back.

Looking up at the bedroom window on the deck above, Sue Ellen's thoughts turned to her ex-husband. Even at the worst moments of their marriage there had still be a comfortable sense of security about sleeping with him. The quiet reassurance of his presence last night proved that.

Still exhausted, J.R. hadn't stayed long with her and John Ross after dinner the night before. By the time she went upstairs, he was in her bed, his steady breathing confirming he was sleeping deeply. After quietly getting ready for bed, Sue Ellen carefully slipped under the covers next to him and when he didn't stir, she thought she had succeeded in not disturbing him. It wasn't long, though, before he unconsciously shifted toward her, instinctively wrapping his arm around her waist then pulling her gently against him. Relieved she no longer had to fight him, Sue Ellen welcomed the feeling of having him so close and it was how they remained the rest of the night.

When J.R. still wasn't awake by morning, Sue Ellen carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, wanting him to keep resting as much as possible. But when he was still asleep by the time she returned from taking John Ross to school, she realized she had been right about him once again. His injuries and all the emotional upheaval they had both been through the past few days really had taken a toll on him. In response, his body had finally shut down to catch up on the rest, giving him no choice but to comply.

No choice but to comply … it was an ironic choice of words. How many times had she felt that way about him? Her thoughts unexpectedly switched to the moment she first saw J.R. She had immediately felt herself going under, drowning in the intense silver-blue of his eyes. But now she wondered if she hadn't been so smitten by his charisma and charm, would she have been able to see the whole man? Not just the lover but the cold, calculating, cruel side of him as well? She shrugged. If she had, maybe her attraction wouldn't have been so consuming. But it was, she reasoned. No changing that now. Especially now when she felt more strongly about him than she ever had.

The physical attraction between them had been there from the start, making any time they were together nothing less than incredible. But the sheer magic of what happened between them yesterday eclipsed even that. Thinking back on it, Sue Ellen allowed herself the rare self-indulgence of a daydream when she was suddenly jarred out of her thoughts by the sound of raised voices at the patio door.

Looking over, she saw the doors fly open followed by Cally storming onto the patio with Carmen frantically closing in on her. Once Cally spotted Sue Ellen in the pool, she suddenly stopped and froze where she was standing.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Ewing!" Carmen fretfully called out.

"It's all right, Carmen," Sue Ellen reassured her maid as she waived her off. "Cally obviously has something on her mind. Don't you, Cally?"

It was a tactic right out of J.R.'s playbook. Disarm the enemy by confronting them first. Even though Sue Ellen dreaded hearing what the girl had to say, she had known the confrontation was going to happen sooner or later. It was time to get it over with.

"Yeah … well," Cally stammered as her determination shrank away. "I, uh … came over here to talk to you, Sue Ellen."

Sue Ellen simply stared at her unfortunate opponent, making her uncomfortably wait as she decided how to make her first move. Then she silently glided over to the steps and gracefully ascended from the pool.

Watching the older lady get out of the water and move towards her, Cally suddenly felt an uncomfortable surge of self-consciousness. She had never seen Sue Ellen in a swimsuit. Someone had told her Sue Ellen was a beauty queen once … Miss Texas if she remembered right. And even though she was probably twenty years older than her, Cally thought she looked like she had just stepped out of one of the fashion magazines Lucy always had sitting around the house. It was no wonder J.R. was so crazy about his ex-wife, the girl thought. She was beautiful.

"That will be all, Carmen … thank you," Sue Ellen said with a nod as she approached then picked up her swimsuit cover. Slipping it on, she was finally ready to face Cally.

"Cally, whatever it is," Sue Ellen gently warned, cutting the girl off from the opportunity to speak first. "Please don't make a scene right now. I won't lie to you, I am worried about J.R. He hasn't fully recovered from his shoulder injury and concussion and he is in no condition for another fight. So please, just give him a few days then you can come over here and give him hell for all I care. He certainly deserves it where you're concerned."

Cally felt her jaw drop open, startled by the calm, concise statement and apparent support from her supposed enemy.

"No … I ain't here to start no fight," Cally replied as she timidly shook her head, all the nerve she had mustered up on the drive over to the house deserting her. "Could I just talk to you, though?"

"Of course." Sue Ellen said, surprised at the change in the Cally's demeanor even though it looked like there were tears in the girl's her eyes. "Please," she gently added, gesturing to the patio chairs near the pool. "Come and sit down. I'll have Carmen get us some tea."

"No … thank you," Cally warily said as she looked around, making sure they were alone. "I ain't stayin' long 'cause I really don't wanna see J.R. It's just that …" The girl suddenly looked back at Sue Ellen and totally lost her nerve. "Oh, comin' here was a bad idea!" She cried out and turned to leave. "I best be goin'!"

"No, Cally … it's all right," Sue Ellen replied, reaching out to stop the girl by taking hold of her arm. When Cally stopped, Sue Ellen tried to reassure her once again. "I'm actually glad you're here because I owe you an apology."

After a brief pause, Cally turned around to face the lady, surprised again by what she had said.

"An apology? For me?" Cally asked, the confusion clearly on her face.

"Yes," Sue Ellen nodded and dropped her hand from the girl's arm. "An apology for the time I spent with you … before your wedding to J.R." Embarrassed by what she had done, Sue Ellen hesitated briefly then forced herself to continue. "And an apology for even being at your wedding to begin with. I had no business being there … we both know that. But as much as I regret it now, you've got to know it had nothing to do with you. My fight was with J.R. and everything I did … well, it was all about getting back at him." Sue Ellen paused to look at Cally then regretfully shook her head. "What a terrible thing to do to you in the process. For that, I am truly sorry."

Cally was stunned by Sue Ellen's words once again. She had come over to the house expecting a fight. It was why she had so rudely burst in before she could be refused entry. Now the lady she had come to confront was unbelievably apologizing her to.

"Yeah, well …" Cally shrugged her shoulders and looked down, finding it difficult to express her emotions any better. "I'm sorry, too. I've been actin' terrible the past few days. It just ain't like me."

Sue Ellen looked over at Cally then smiled and motioned to the patio chairs again. "Please, Cally … come and sit down."

Finally Cally agreed and nodded. "All right."

Both women walked silently over to the chairs and after Cally sat down, she looked over at Sue Ellen for several long moments before she spoke again.

"I'm goin' away, Sue Ellen," Cally finally admitted sadly. "Back to Haleyville. Dallas ain't no place for me. I knew that from the start. But I was just so bowled over by J.R. … well, it made me do things I ain't too proud of."

"I know the feeling," Sue Ellen nodded in agreement. "He has that way with women. He makes you want to do all kinds of things for him you know you shouldn't do."

"He surely does," Cally dejectedly agreed. "But I spent all day yesterday thinkin' about him … and you. And the truth has been out there, just as plain as the nose on my face. I've just been refusin' to see it." She paused for a moment, trying to regain control of her emotions but knew she was losing as the tears began to roll down her face. "He loves you, Sue Ellen," she blurted out. "No doubt he always will from the way he looks at'cha. And that don't leave no room for me."

Sue Ellen felt sick as a cold, uncomfortable sense of déjà vu hit her, one that tightened her stomach with dread. She had been in Cally's place too many times to count and it made her feel sorry for the girl now.

"All this has broken your heart, hasn't it, Cally?" Sue Ellen sincerely asked, speaking from experience that had also broken hers. "Please believe me, I never meant for what happened after the tornado to happen. It just …"

"Happened." Cally added then briefly paused, wiping her tears away with a tissue she took from her purse. "Try as I might, I can't be mad at'cha for that, though," she sniffed. "From where I'm standin', it's like you two were just waitin' for a reason to be together again. The tornado just opened the door for ya."

Sue Ellen shook her head in disbelief. "No … it wasn't like that."

Cally slowly nodded. "It was to me."

"That's impossible, Cally," Sue Ellen tried to refuse again.

"No, it ain't," Cally persisted. "And that's what I don't understand. How could the two of you not know what was goin' on between ya then let yourselves get all involved with me and that nice English fella I met the other day?"

Sue Ellen uncomfortably shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know." Then an internally directed sarcasm crept into her voice as she looked over into the water of the pool, finally realizing the girl was partially correct. "Maybe it's because once our fighting starts, it becomes impenetrable, leaving us deaf and blind to anything … or anyone else."

Cally shrugged again, having trouble understanding both the older lady's words and sarcasm. "Well ... I can't speak much for that 'cause I don't understand it. But it just don't seem right … or very fair."

"No, it doesn't." But very few things were fair when loving J.R., Sue Ellen angrily thought.

Both women fell quiet for a moment before Cally finally spoke up again.

"Sue Ellen?" She said, making her name a question. "Even though I don't understand it … and I don't agree with it … I can at least see why whatever it is that makes you and J.R. fight like cats and dogs also makes you crazy 'bout each other."

Sue Ellen kept her eyes locked on the water, still unable to hold the girl's honest gaze.

"When the two of you are together," Cally continued, "like the way you was at the barbeque at Southfork the other night … watchin' ya is like bein' too close to lightnin'. It's dangerous and excitin', all at the same time."

The simple, clear observation finally made Sue Ellen look back up at the girl.

"Yes, Cally … but actually living that way is terrifying, believe me."

"Oh, I can believe ya," Cally sadly agreed. "And God help anyone who tries to come in between you and J.R." She stopped to consider the lady across from her once more. "I just hope he won't let'cha out of his sight this time. I truly do. If he does, he ain't as smart as I think he is." She paused again before continuing. "And Sue Ellen … I'm gonna miss him somethin' fierce, so please take good care of him." Then she sadly smiled. "But losin' him to ya ain't as bad as I thought. You're quite a lady … and he really does need someone like you."

"You're quite a lady yourself, Cally," Sue Ellen countered, genuinely affected by the sweetness the girl had offered. "And even though this has been so difficult for you, I'm going to see it you are very well taken care of."

Cally tried to wave her off. "No, Sue Ellen, that ain't why I'm here! I don't want nothin' from none of ya!"

"I know that," Sue Ellen interjected, stopping her protest. "But Cally, don't you dare fight it. You take this opportunity and J.R.'s money and make a nice life for yourself. You deserve that at the very least."

Finally realizing all the bad things she had thought about her rival weren't true, Cally felt herself blush at the advice and protection Sue Ellen was offering.

"Well, then … I'll try … and thank you," Cally gratefully acknowledged then stood up. "Now I best be goin'. I really don't wanna see J.R."

Sue Ellen nodded, understanding the girl's concern then rose to walk with her to the door

"Take care of yourself, Cally." Sue Ellen offered.

The girl nodded. "I will. And would you mind tellin' John Ross 'goodbye' for me, Sue Ellen? He really is a sweet boy."

Sue Ellen swallowed hard, feeling a surge of emotions difficult to comprehend.

"Thank you … I will," she softly responded.

With nothing left to say between them, Sue Ellen stopped and watched as Cally entered the house, closing the patio door behind her. When silence finally settled back over the patio, Sue Ellen uncomfortably stroked her fingers through her damp hair, visibly shaken by all Cally had said. Then she looked up to the deck above her, into the expectant eyes of J.R.

"You really owe that little girl, J.R.," she quietly said, emotions constricting her voice. "You make sure you are generous with her or there will be hell to pay."

The look Sue Ellen gave him, a powerful, compelling mixture of distress and anger, made J.R. inwardly cringe.

"You can count on it," he replied. "I've got Harve Smithfield already workin' on it."

Then he smiled down at Sue Ellen, telegraphing to her how impressed he had been not only that she had known he was there listening but also how proud he was at the way she handled Cally.

"Damn you," she hissed as she continued to glare up at him, unfazed by his smile. "You have so much to make up for."

"Yes, I do," he nodded in agreement as his smile faded away.

J.R. studied her for a long moment, searching for something … anything to say that would remove the anger encasing her, cutting him off from her again. But all he had was the truth … and it wasn't pretty. He leaned down on the deck railing, suddenly tired in a way he felt to his bones, then attempted to explain it to her.

"Ain't it interestin' how a little over a week ago, regret wasn't even in my vocabulary," he added. "I could care less who I hurt, includin' that girl who just left here, just as long as I got what I wanted." When he saw Sue Ellen flinch and look away, he knew he had hurt her again but he continued. "I'm not proud of that, honey. But all I can do is try and set it right. And I'm tryin'. Believe me, I'm tryin'. For you, more than anyone else. Because right now, lookin' into those dark eyes of yours …" He sighed heavily and lightly tapped his chest. "Damn, I can feel it right here. Makes me never wanna hurt you again."

An uncomfortable silence fell between them before Sue Ellen finally spoke again.

"If I'd heard you say that before the tornado," she angrily replied, "I would have laughed in your face, knowing I had finally made you feel … made you hurt … the way I did for so many years." Then she shook her head as the anger left her, replaced by an overwhelming sadness. "But not now, J.R. Not after being schooled by that little girl who just left here. It just brings it all up again … makes it hurt in all new ways."

"I know," J.R. sadly nodded in agreement. "Especially because nothin' I ever did was worth hurtin' you for."

He fell silent again, mentally searching for something to say that would soothe her. All he came up with was the wisdom of the simple, sweet country girl he had almost married for all the wrong reasons.

"Sue Ellen …" J.R. gently called out, beckoning for her to look up at him. When she did, he attempted to smile at her again and continued. "Cally was right. You truly are quite a lady. And I do need you. More than ever. So stick with me, honey."

Sue Ellen found herself resenting his words, resenting the way they were defeating her anger and making her soften towards him again.

"You sneaky bastard, listening in like that," she muttered, unsure whether to smile or frown as his charm reluctantly took the edge off her emotions.

"Hell, can you blame me?" He shrugged, relieved her anger seemed to be dissipating. "The minute I heard Cally's voice comin' through the bedroom window, I figured she'd brought a shotgun and her crazy brothers here to get me."

"She should have," Sue Ellen replied. "It would have served you right."

"And you would have made my charmin' widow," he drawled. "You always did look mighty fine in black."

"J.R. … go back to bed," Sue Ellen replied, shaking her head at his exasperatingly familiar, arrogant nerve.

"I will if you tell me somethin' first," J.R. gladly answered back, her reluctantly amused half-smile being exactly what he wanted.

Sue Ellen hesitated, sensing she would probably regret giving into him. But she also refused to be intimidated by him and fought back her uneasiness to boldly meet his gaze.

"Now what?"

"How'd you know I was standin' up here, listenin'?"

The question was totally unexpected and so silly it made Sue Ellen laugh, releasing her at last from the anger and frustration she had been feeling. She had once again gotten the better of him and she was amused he knew it.

"How did I know?" She repeated, still smiling. "Because I can't imagine you resisting the chance to hear two women fussing over you, no matter how sound asleep you are."

J.R. looked at her blankly for a moment then laughed, too. "You got a point there. And truth be told, Cally's voice comin' through the window really did scare me to death."

"A big, strong man like you … scared of that little girl?" Sue Ellen playfully mocked.

J.R. simply shrugged his shoulders and nodded, hiding his real reason for being on the patio. He had intended to interrupt the women's confrontation before Cally's wrath could reach Sue Ellen. But when he saw Sue Ellen so ably handling the situation by herself, he willingly stood back just to watch her.

"I sure the hell am afraid of her!" He answered. "You should have seen her out at the ranch the other night. She was a wailin' little wildcat!"

"Good for her!" Sue Ellen gleefully added then began to laugh again.

J.R. grinned then sighed contentedly as he continued to look down on his wife. Soon his gaze fell along the tempting curves skimpily covered by her swimsuit wrap, down to her long, shapely legs that still knocked his breath away. The longer he looked at her, the more profound his pleasure was about the intelligent, enticing lady before him. Momentarily satisfied, he once again raised his eyes to meet hers.

"You still mad at me?" He asked after a moment.

"Yes." She replied without hesitation.

"Well, then … I gotta tell ya. Havin' you mad at me has never felt so good."

"J.R. … go back to bed!" Sue Ellen forcefully repeated, attempting to resist his charm once again.

"Come on up here and join me," J.R. half asked, half demanded.

His drawl had dropped in pitch, liquefying into that practiced, irresistible tone he had developed during too many seductions to count. The difference now was the raw need lying just underneath his words … a need that mirrored Sue Ellen's, reluctantly making the her pulse accelerate.

His suggestion should have been incredibly inappropriate after what had just happened. Cally's visit had been a stark reminder of how heartless J.R. could be, the way he had been before the tornado when Sue Ellen despised him. Having that anger and resentment resurface made her wonder if it really was possible he could change so much in the space of a few short days. But from the way he was looking at her now, Sue Ellen didn't doubt there really was something new and appealing about him.

"That won't solve anything, J.R.," she resisted once again.

"Yeah, it will," he countered. "It will let me show you how much I love you 'cause I'm clearly strikin' out with my words. Besides, darlin'," he gently coaxed. "There is nothin' we can't handle when we're together. Cally … tornados … even the mess we made of our past." He quickly corrected himself. "The mess I made of our past." When she didn't reply, he tried again, unwilling to give up on her. "How 'bout if we start replacin' that past of ours with all new memories … good memories? Startin' right now."

As it had always been when they touched, even with their eyes and words as they were doing now, the contact between them burned. It was a slow unification of their gaze to their emotions, beckoning for their bodies to follow.

Thinking of it as love was still impossible for Sue Ellen to believe but if all of his promises came true, she guardedly let herself believe they really might have a future together. And from a dark corner of her heart, she even found herself hoping it might be possible to love him again without losing herself in the process.

"C'mon up here," he further tempted, this time with a grin. "Let me show you."

That grin of his, she thought … that maddening, irresistible grin. It further melted her resolve leaving Sue Ellen with little reason to resist him. She knew a few hours in bed with him wouldn't solve anything. But joining him there would at least let her briefly have the amazing way he could make her feel, letting all that happened become something physical she could hold on to. Besides, she thought, she now craved his closeness after all Cally had said.

With that, Sue Ellen looked up at him once more, this time in acknowledgement, then silently went over to the patio door.


	33. Chapter 33

Wild Is The Wind, Part 33

The sunlight of the late afternoon cast golden shadows across the bedroom, warming it with a soft aura that matched the lazy contentment J.R. was feeling. He closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the sensation, wanting never to forget it. Not that he ever could. Even if it only existed in that room for that one moment, he had finally found a place with Sue Ellen where there was no past, no problems, no betrayal, and no lies. Only light.

Opening his eyes as he thought of her, J.R. looked over to see Sue Ellen sleeping next to him and he smiled. The unrelenting combination of swimming, confronting Cally, then their following makeup session in bed had worn her out, letting her easily drift off to sleep once satisfied. But J.R. had resisted sleep, resenting how much time he had already lost to it the past week. No, he couldn't afford to lose any more time with Sue Ellen. He had already missed a lifetime.

Wanting to see more of her, J.R. slowly rolled over then propped himself up on the elbow of his uninjured arm to look down on her. Her expression had softened, the momentary displeasure about Cally now gone. With a self-satisfied grin, he hoped the slight trace of a smile that lingered on her lips might have something to do with him … what they shared … in this amazing light of day that gave everything it touched, including them, such an incredible glow.

Although timing never really mattered, there was something special about spending time in bed with Sue Ellen during the day. The light allowed him to see as well as feel her. Especially today when she so wantonly, daringly looked him in the eyes as he took her. It had struck him like a bolt of lightening square in his heart.

With that moment so strong in his mind, the impulse to reach out and touch her again hit him. But J.R. resisted, allowing her to rest while he took in everything about her with his eyes instead.

Stretched out on her stomach, Sue Ellen's head rested on her arm, letting her face J.R. even in sleep, while the other arm was extended towards him, her hand resting near him. Outlined under the sheet that covered them both, a defining sweep of curves started at her shoulder then dipped down along her ribs to her toned stomach, flaring back up to her hips as it slowly descended back down along her legs and ended at her feet.

She was so beautiful … in so many ways he had never realized. Far more beautiful than just in her looks. The past few days, J.R. had found beauty in her anger, her passion, the compassion she offered Cally, the depth of her emotions she so willingly gave to both him and the son they had created. She was everything he had ever found attractive in a woman, wrapped up in one sleek, sexy package with spirit and nerve to burn and a hell of a brain to match.

Such joy accompanied that epiphany that J.R. nearly laughed out loud. He was far too experienced not to realize his sex-smitten brain had no choice but to elevate Sue Ellen so high after what they just shared. But he also knew that not even the lingering traces of his body's attraction to her could discount all he was feeling. He knew it as sure as anything he had ever felt before.

It had finally happened. Happened even though he thought it was impossible. He had woken up in that hospital bed after the tornado, knowing exactly what he needed most in the world even though she was completely out of his reach. Yet there she was, asleep at his side.

Sue Ellen was his again.

No longer able to resist the temptation to touch her, J.R. bent down to gently trail slow, lingering kisses across her exposed shoulder.

"Sue Ellen," he whispered against her skin.

"Hmmmmm," she sleepily replied, becoming aware of both his voice and the renewed sensations he was causing as her body once again responded to his touch.

J.R. felt his heart leap to his throat at her response. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much she needed to know. But his ability to think suddenly deserted him along with his courage.

"Uhhhh … don't you have to pick John Ross up from school?"

The hastily invented question was so ineloquently timid J.R. almost laughed out loud again, this time at his own spinelessness. Never before had anyone held so much influence over him … not even his father. But instead of being terrified by it, J.R. found himself enjoying both the humor and the challenge of the way Sue Ellen kept mentally knocking him on his ass. It made him want her even more.

"He's taking the bus home with Christopher," she answered after a moment, still not quite awake. "Your mother called this morning … asked if he could spend the night at the ranch."

God bless Mamma, J.R. thought with a broad grin.

"You mean I've got'cha all to myself?" He remarked, his voice dropping in pitch to reveal how pleased he was at the potential of a night alone with her.

Finally awake, Sue Ellen smiled at his observation in the slow, drowsy way J.R. loved. When she rolled over onto her back and opened her eyes, she was met by his approval, both in his grin and the sparkle of his blue eyes as he watched her with anticipation.

"Yes, we're all alone," she replied. "I gave Carmen the rest of the day off, too." She raised her hand to run her fingers through the hair above and behind his ear. "So, what are you going to do with me?"

When J.R. leaned down to secretly whisper his reply in her ear, the sensation and his suggestion made Sue Ellen giggle.

"Besides that," she replied, still smiling.

"Mmmm," he softly said against her ear before pulling back to look down on her again. "There ain't nothin' besides that, honey."

She gave him a disapproving look then giggled again. "You are insatiable."

J.R. lazily traced his fingers across her shoulder, down her arm, gladly making her shiver. "If I am it's your fault."

As his fingers came to her hand, he noticed the set of wedding rings on her finger. The same rings he had put there during their second wedding ceremony. Gently sliding his fingers under her palm, he lifted her hand then ran his thumb across the large diamond and gold bands. Even after all they had been through, she hadn't taken his rings off.

Thinking back, J.R. couldn't remember a time she had been without them. So unlike his own wedding ring that he had stopped wearing long ago. The difference struck him, making him wonder exactly when he had stopped wearing his ring until Sue Ellen's voice pulled him back to the present.

"I know," Sue Ellen said, the tone of her voice a cross between regret and sadness. "I probably should have taken them off when I left Southfork. But as much as I thought I hated you … as much as I didn't want to be married to you … wearing the rings reminded me I was a Ewing. The only family I ever really felt a part of. And I have missed the family, J.R. … so much."

It was yet another thing he had deprived her of. All for the sake of acting like some perpetual college playboy. What a jackass, J.R. silently reprimanded himself before focusing back on her.

"I'm glad you're still wearin' 'em," he gently said as he lifted her hand to kiss the rings before resting his mouth against her fingers.

It was such a simple sentence and gesture to acknowledge everything she said but J.R. knew no other words were necessary. As if to confirm it, the need to have her mouth under his resurfaced. He reached out to cradle her face then ran his thumb along her soft, enticing lower lip, just like he did with her rings, before lowering his head to kiss her.

The kiss reignited the slow, sweet fire he craved from her as Sue Ellen responded to him without hesitation, moving her mouth in perfectly synched counterpoint to his. She slid her arms around him and when he deepened their kiss in response, she let her fingers wrap around the nape of his neck, trailing his hair through her fingertips.

As it always did, her touch at the back of his neck sent a shiver of pleasure though J.R. and he responded with a deep chuckle of satisfaction. But even as much as he wanted her, he wanted to romance her, make the rest of the evening special for her. So after a moment, he slowly, reluctantly ended the kiss to look down on her once again.

"How'd you like to go to dinner with me tonight?"

Surprised by the question, Sue Ellen smiled at him in return. "You asking me out on a date?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," J.R. grinned. "I think we ought'a get all dressed up and hit the town."

"I'd love to … but," Sue Ellen stopped and contemplatively traced her fingers along his jaw, "it will be our first public appearance together."

"As a couple, you mean?" He hopefully asked.

"Yes. Are we ready for that? For the reaction it will cause? Because the last thing the Dallas community heard about you, you were about to marry another woman. Now you'll be out with …"

"The wife I should'a never let go," J.R. inserted before she could continue. "No mystery there, darlin'. Besides, they all gotta know by now we made it to that storm cellar by the skin of our teeth. I can't see how even the blackest heart in this town wouldn't understand that bein' the reason … the damn good reason we got back together."

"You've got a point there," Sue Ellen replied, smiling at the emphasis he placed on it. "So where you taking me?"

"I was thinkin' about the Oil Barons Club." When she didn't respond, J.R. explained the choice. "No better place to show you off." Then he looked at her for a moment, sensing the reluctance behind her silence. "But you still havin' doubts?"

"No, not about us being out together," she uneasily replied. "It's just … it's been a while since we were at the Oil Barons Club."

As J.R. thought back to the last time, a wave of regret washed over him when he realized his choice related back to a time he had only minutes earlier tried to ignore himself.

"It was that dinner with the Cryders," he awkwardly remarked, finally understanding her hesitation. "That's what's botherin' you, isn't it?"

When she looked down and away from his gaze without answering, J.R.'s fears were confirmed. He knew this was another one of those moments when their past threatened to rip her away from him again. But he wouldn't allow it. Not after all they had survived the past few days.

"Tell me somethin', honey," J.R. softly asked as he mentally tried to find a way back to her. "That night … you knew what was goin' on with Kimberly even then, didn't you?"

Sue Ellen considered his question. Even though she knew J.R. wasn't intentionally being cruel, his words stirred up all the hurtful memories of that time. Feelings she thought she had successfully locked away. Having them free again, especially so soon after having dealt with Cally, hurt. But lying with J.R. at that moment, adoring the way he felt against her, she knew it was time to put the whole Kimberly Cryder fiasco away, just like they had done with so many other unpleasant moments of their past.

"Yes, I knew," she finally answered.

J.R. remembered the way Sue Ellen had set that night up, the way she manipulated him, Kimberly and Wilson Cryder without them even knowing it. Her entire purpose had been to put on a show for Kimberly and make him uncomfortable. And she had succeeded … all too well.

"It all makes sense now," J.R. distantly remarked. "You were feedin' me just enough rope, inch by inch, to hang myself. And I gladly took every bit of it."

Sue Ellen stroked her fingers through his hair again, making his gaze return from the past and focus back on her.

"You still angry about that?" She gently asked.

"Aw … hell no," he slowly grinned. "What you did that night was brilliant … vicious, but brilliant. You really raked Kimberly and me over the coals and dumb ol' Wilson just sat there, not knowin' what to think about you." He paused and gave her another approving grin. "If anything, I admire your skill."

Sue Ellen reluctantly smiled back at him as a touch of self-satisfying smugness tugged at her ego. Thinking back on what happened with Kimberly, seeing it now through J.R.'s calculating, exacting gaze, she realized she really had performed brilliantly.

"Even though it eventually cost you West Star?" She asked, needing to have the entire situation and the resulting consequences out in the open. "I'd never seen you as angry as you were that night after the board meeting."

"Yes … I was angry," J.R. agreed. "But it cost me a whole lot more than West Star. That was the night you walked off Southfork … and I lost you to Pearce."

"That was your plan, wasn't it?" Sue Ellen replied, a touch of resentment suddenly rising up at the mention of Nicholas. "I thought you wanted me with him … to get me out of the way."

As her last word faded away, an uncomfortable silence stretched out between them. J.R. knew he had hurt her again yet he was no longer sure he could make it better. All he had been trying to do since she woke up was to tell her how much he loved her and never before had words so completely failed him. But then he knew he had to keep trying until she understood.

"The only thing I wanted," J.R. finally said, "was to be back in the oil business … back in power. No matter what it took. And for that …" He paused briefly before continuing. "I'm sorry."

Apologies from J.R. were such a rare thing. Admitting remorse was equal to admitting defeat for him. But Sue Ellen had rarely been as touched by anything he had ever said to her.

J.R. caught the way the color of her eyes darkened, realized he might have made a difference with his honesty. Needing confirmation, he lowered himself against her then kissed her again. When she responded, he knew she was on her way back to him.

"You have no idea how devastatin' you were that night with the Cryders, do you?" He whispered appreciatively against her skin as he trailed kisses down along her jaw, hoping to further lighten her mood by revealing exactly what she had done to him that night. "I remember your dress … I couldn't take my eyes off it. And the way you relentlessly flirted with me …"

"To get at Kimberly," she hotly interjected, feeling a potent mix of anger and arousal.

"To hell with Kimberly," he growled in response. "You got to me. I should'a just taken you straight home to our bed that night because no company … no title … no amount of money is worth you."

The kiss J.R. gave her was demanding yet so sweet with the loving, longing tenderness he was offering Sue Ellen gladly accepted it. Any other thoughts of Kimberly Cryder and West Star were obliterated along with the jagged, angry emotions she had just experienced. If that was a superficial exchange, so be it. They could hammer out the rest of the unrequited emotions of that moment of their past later in a more rational setting. But right now, everything J.R. was doing to her made her capable of only focusing on him.

"What I wouldn't give to have you always think that way about me," Sue Ellen sighed as he slowly traced his lips down to the spot just under the back of her jaw they both found so much pleasure in.

The seriousness of her tone made J.R. stop and pull back to look at her. Sue Ellen saw the perplexed frustration in his expression and she attempted to explain.

"I know you so well, J.R.," she said as she traced her fingers over his jaw. "As good as what we have right now feels, you're soon going to need something more. Because we both know you won't be content until you have something to take the place of Ewing Oil."

J.R. would have been deeply frustrated by her continued resistance to his demonstrations of love if what she said hadn't been so honest. She really did know him better than anyone and it removed any need to lie to her.

"You're right," he quietly admitted after a moment. "I am gonna want to be back in the oil business. It's the only thing I know. But there is gonna be one hell of a big difference this time. I won't be doin' it please my daddy or compete with that baby brother of mine. No, this time I'll be doin' it for me … for you … and for our son. And it's gonna make all the difference in the world."

"Talk like that makes me believe you can move mountains," Sue Ellen remarked, clearly impressed by his words.

"You just watch me," J.R. grinned. "But for right now, the oil business can wait 'cause I wanna spend my time gettin' to know you and John Ross again. Especially you … startin' tonight. And I'd be so damn proud to be out with you I'll take you anywhere you wanna go, Sue Ellen. Just name the place."

Sue Ellen considered his offer then smiled. Having the Dallas community … especially those who frequented his favorite spot … find out she was reunited with J.R. now seemed an intriguing idea.

"Let's go to the Oil Barons Club," she responded.

There was that stubborn spirit of hers again, the one that so perfectly mirrored his own. J.R. proudly grinned at her and nodded appreciatively.

"You truly are a Ewing," he said. "We go where we want, when we want … to hell with what people think. Now let's go get dressed 'cause I can't wait 'til this town finds out we're a couple again."

Before J.R. could move away from her, Sue Ellen suddenly pulled him back down and kissed him with a fierce possessiveness that startled him. She always did know how to surprise him, keep him off balance, make him want more. And he gladly took everything she offered.

As their kiss lingered then slowly ended, J.R. watched as Sue Ellen gradually opened her eyes. The color was now even darker than before, the depth enhancing her expression in that special way that only came from pleasure. Pleasure he had given her. No more pain, no more sorrow. He never wanted to hurt her again.

"Sue Ellen …" he gently said with a blue-eyed intensity that stole her breath. "Nothin' is gonna come between us ... ever again. You can count on that."

His conviction removed yet another layer of doubt, making Sue Ellen realize once again he really might make all he promised come true.


	34. Chapter 34

Wild Is The Wind, Part 34

It was early evening and even as the light faded and dimmed the patio, the gentle waves from the pool illuminated it with blue reflections that danced across the surfaces. Near the edge of the water closest to the house, J.R. leisurely paced back and forth, patiently waiting for Sue Ellen to join him.

He was fully dressed in a suit, ready for their planned night out, and the distinct sound of his boots on the cement made a faint echo with each of his footsteps. Deep in thought, his hands rested in the pockets of his slacks, making his buttoned jacket trail over his arms.

Idle times like this were when he usually had a drink in his hands. But surprisingly, he had thought very little of alcohol since the tornado. Maybe it was because mixing it with his painkillers would have been suicide. Maybe it was because he had been asleep so much he hadn't really cared about bourbon. Then J.R. stopped and smiled, realizing what the real reason was. He just hadn't needed it. Hadn't needed the reassuring slap on the back ... the instant courage ... the need to feel numb so he didn't feel at all.

He glanced up at the window above the balcony. No, the only thing he had needed the past few days was upstairs in that room, getting dressed for the date he had promised her. And the more J.R. thought of Sue Ellen, the more he was looking forward to it.

Their afternoon together had been another incredible encounter. He had never known a woman so capable of openly loving him on such a physical level. And even though he still sensed so many emotional boundaries in her, she had trusted him enough to talk to him, really relate to him like never before, giving him the chance to discover even more about her and himself in the process.

J.R. grinned again. For lack of a better explanation, she amazed him. He had known the lady for so long yet was only now realizing he had never really known her at all. And the more he learned about her, the more fascinated he became.

It would have been so easy to just keep her in bed the rest of the night and continue to enjoy her. But taking her out, showing her off, just enjoying the evening with her would be even more rewarding. It had been a long time since she had been out on his arm … too long. And it was time Dallas found out they were a couple again. A couple to be reckoned with if he had his way. There were still so many things he planned on doing to make sure that happened.

When the distinct staccato of her high-heeled footsteps sounded out near the house, J.R. turned to see Sue Ellen walking towards him.

"Sorry," she called out. "That took a little longer than expected."

"We're in no hurry," J.R. replied with an easy smile. As she approached, his patience was paid off simply by her appearance and he let her know he approved. "Besides, the way you're lookin', it was worth the wait."

She wore an exquisite long-sleeved, high-necked dress perfectly tailored to her form. The material was a rich, deep green that shimmered faintly in the light as she walked even as each shift of her legs made the fabric mold to her, subtly flaunting all her features. Finishing off the look were her trademark black stockings and heels. And as if to give her even more elegance, her hair was swept back to reveal golden hoop earrings that matched the jewelry at her wrists, around her neck, and the metal chain that was loosely-draped around her waist, acting as belt.

"And what way am I lookin', darlin?" Sue Ellen drawled, smiling at his words and appreciative gaze.

J.R. was amused by her playful mimicry and didn't hesitate to explain. "You look beautiful … sophisticated ... sexy. Everything I love about'cha."

Her eyes lit up at his words and when she stopped in front of him, she reached out to touch his tie in the familiar way she had then gently pulled down on it, beckoning him closer.

"You have moments when you are completely irresistible," she subtly replied. "Do you know that?"

"Well, I'm tryin', honey," he grinned.

"Keep it up," she sweetly pleaded.

Her offer was too tempting to resist and J.R. tipped his head down to kiss her. But Sue Ellen pulled back slightly to gently place two fingers across his lips, stopping him.

"No … no kissing," she teased. "You'll end up with my lipstick all over you."

"I can think of worse things," J.R. murmured as he settled for kissing the soft skin of her jaw.

"I'll make it up to you later," she promised.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," J.R. whispered against her ear.

He settled on just being able to hold her and slipped his hands around her waist to pull her against him. When she instantly fit against him, he started to dance with her even though there was no music. But no music was needed as they easily fell in synch with the natural rhythm they had with each other.

The sensation of being held so securely made Sue Ellen smile. J.R. had always known just the way to hold her … respond to her … give her exactly what she wanted. There had been some special men in her life … some kind, loving men who had offered her so much. Yet never had any of them held her like J.R. was holding her at that moment, making it feel as if the world had faded away and all that mattered was what was happening with him.

Enjoying the way he felt, wanting more, Sue Ellen ran her hands over his back, letting her fingers glide over the soft, quality material of his suit. The dark, charcoal-grey color had a faint pinstripe and was immaculately tailored in the classic, formal way J.R. always wore. The rest of his clothes were custom matched. His white dress shirt had a dark gray pinstripe that complimented the color of the suit and was set off by his royal blue, patterned tie. Combined with his black boots and belt, the entire outfit amplified his air of power and authority. For so long, she had found that part of his appearance intimidating. Now, being so close to him, it struck her as rather dashing and extremely attractive.

"Nice suit," she softly whispered against his neck.

"Yes, it is," J.R. nodded with a smile. "Quite a surprise to see it layin' out for me after my shower. Any idea where it came from?"

"Well," Sue Ellen grinned as she looked up at him. "I knew I wouldn't be able to keep you in the house forever and I wasn't quite up to going out to Southfork to pick up some of your suits. So, a couple of days ago …"

"You went to my tailor and had one made for me," J.R. replied, finishing her sentence the way they both could do for each other.

"Yes, I did," she agreed. "And there is a new dark grey cowboy hat waiting in the hall to go with it."

"Even bought me a new hat, huh?" J.R. grinned.

"Couldn't have a new suit without one," Sue Ellen nodded in agreement.

"True." J.R. stood up a little straighter. "And I do love this suit. I couldn't have picked a better one if I'd been there with you."

"You do look handsome," she replied as she drew closer to him again and rested her head against his chin, still enjoying their impromptu dance.

"Mmmm, a good suit is like a good woman," J.R whispered as the soft texture of her dark hair brushed lightly against his face. "They both do a lot for a man's confidence."

Sue Ellen softly laughed. "Like you need any more confidence."

"I do tonight, the way you're lookin', honey. Every eye in the place is gonna be on you and me 'cause I'll be standin' at your side. So …" He paused to lightly kiss against the corner of her eye. "Thank you, darlin'. I haven't looked this good in a long time. I've really missed you shoppin' for me."

"I must say, even though I've liked seeing you the past few days in something a little more casual …"

"Or nothin' at all," J.R. quickly added.

"Yes," she added with a soft laugh, amused by his naughty schoolboy tone. "But you do look good in that suit … even if it does put you back in your business-as-usual oilman armor."

J.R. knitted his eyebrows together and frowned. "Oilman armor? That sounds a little severe. It ain't that bad, is it?"

"It's a little intimidating, seeing you dressed for battle again," she remarked then looked up to give him a half-smile. "But I think I can handle it now."

"Yes, you can," J.R. sighed and pulled her close again, understanding her double meaning. "Besides, doin' battle is the furthest thing from my mind tonight."

They quietly danced together for a few moments longer before Sue Ellen spoke again.

"It's funny, this reminds me how it used to be between us … a long, long time ago. We would dance together … even just talk and laugh together … for no reason at all."

"And it all feels so much better now," he softly said against her temple. "'Cause now, us bein' together is all that matters."

"God, how I used to wish you be like this with me," she whispered, her voice tight with emotion as she moved deeper into the reassurance of his embrace. "I never doubted you were capable of it. I just never thought you would ever come back and share it with me again."

The compelling emotion in her voice surprised J.R. Even with as much as they had been through the past few days, even with as much as he had promised her, he realized once again he still had so much left to prove to her. His history with her left him with no other choice.

"You can have anything I got," J.R. gently reassured her.

His pledge made Sue Ellen want to be free of her lingering doubts and concerns about him. There was so much she wanted to tell him, wanted to share with him. But did she dare? Would he end up using it all against her in the end? Taking a chance, she chose to verbalize some of the things she was feeling instead of keeping them hidden from him.

"J.R., don't make me fall in love with you again just to pull away from me like you've done in the past," she softly implored. "Just this once, please be honest with me, no matter what happens."

Her request made J.R. pause to consider his answer. It would be so easy to just tell her he loved her and be done with it. But he knew how important it was she understood his point of view.

"Sue Ellen, lemme ask you somethin'," he gently asked in response. "Can you still hear the sound of that tornado? Hear the way it blocked everything else out, makin' it sound like the entire world was bein' ripped apart?" Sue Ellen trembled at the memory and J.R. quickly moved to reassuringly run his hands down her back. "I know, honey … I know you hear it, too. It won't be somethin' either one of us will forget for a long, long time. I know I'll hear it 'til the day I die 'cause that sound reminds me of everything I almost lost that day. How would I have ever survived if I'd lost you? If I'd never been able to hold you like this again?" He gently kissed the corner of her eye before continuing. "I'm not worth a damn without you. And I don't wanna be without you … ever again."

Sue Ellen pulled back to look at him and in the depth of her dark eyes, J.R. could see she needed something more. There was only one thing left to give her and to hell with her lipstick. Kissing her to reinforce what he was saying was more important.

The way he kissed her was so smooth, so skilled, so deep and slow, Sue Ellen could hardly remember to breath let alone worry about her lipstick. Both his mouth and hands gently coaxed her to respond equally. Yet she also felt there was something special about this kiss, like he wanted to make everything about it count. Maybe it was the surprising hint of need she sensed in him, like he wanted to her to know how much the kiss meant. There was no doubt he did. But it also left her feeling like she had been waiting for this moment since the day she met him. It was the moment when it felt like he truly loved her.

Sue Ellen responded by wrapping her arms around him, deepening their kiss in the process. It was exactly what J.R. wanted.

"Get used to this, honey," he said after a moment when their kiss climaxed then slowly ended. He pulled back only far enough to look down at her. "Get used to me bein' here for you and get used to us bein' together 'cause damn … this feels too good to stop now."

"J.R., I'd follow you to hell and back," she softly said against his lips before kissing him again. "In so many ways, I already have. All I've ever wanted in return is your loyalty."

Loyalty. Total devotion. A promise to be faithful. They were all unfamiliar concepts to J.R. But was withholding any one of them from her worth more than she was offering? He quickly realized just how small a price they were to pay.

"They're yours," he offered in return. "Every one of 'em."

Any superficial pledge of love and devotion used to placate her would have doomed him because they both knew she would have seen right through it. Instead, his honest offer generated a sensation of hope for the future of their relationship like nothing else ever had. Sue Ellen looked up at him for a moment before she moved back a few steps then reached out and took his right hand in hers.

"You've got a deal then," she replied a little unsteadily then sighed, releasing the tension she was feeling as she shook his hand in the age-old sign of agreement.

J.R. smiled down at her and returned the handshake. She had surprised him again, both in the way she had acknowledged him with a gesture he was so familiar with and that she had, in essence, agreed to let him love her again.

"All right then," J.R. nodded approvingly then turned their handshake into the opportunity to hold her hand. "Now c'mon," he gently coaxed, tugging on her fingers. "Let's get outta here before I need more than a handshake and take you back upstairs."

His sudden change of subject made Sue Ellen softly laugh, just as he hoped it would, and she followed his lead towards the door.

"I got the car and driver waitin' out front," he added.

"J.R., I could have driven us over to the Oil Barons Club," she replied even though she was flattered he had been so thoughtful.

"Uh-unh," he adamantly answered back. "I want you in the back seat with me, undistracted."

Sue Ellen nearly laughed at the way he could turn nearly anything situation into something sexual. But when he turned back to smile at her, she pulled back on his hand, making him stop.

"Wait a minute."

When J.R. stopped, clearly puzzled by her hesitation, Sue Ellen grinned at him as she lifted her hand to his face and smoothed her thumb over his lips, removing traces of her lipstick.

"Told you you'd end up wearing my lipstick," she taunted as the last trace of red was removed.

"Well, good!" He happily exclaimed before the tone of his voice fell into the deep, sensual tone that made her breath catch. "Just don't plan on puttin' on any more 'til we get to the Oil Barons Club 'cause I plan on kissin' you again on the way over there."

Sue Ellen shook her head, feigning disdain, then couldn't help but smile, revealing her approval of his suggestion. As J.R. took her hand once more and led her to the door, she was still grinning as a giddy rush of excitement made her stomach tingle.

Their night out was turning into something memorable in more ways than one.


	35. Chapter 35

Wild Is The Wind, Part 35

As the elevator going to the Oil Barons Club started up, the brief sensation of falling before it began to rise didn't help the already anxious feeling in Sue Ellen's stomach. When she sighed, trying to calm the feeling, J.R. looked over at her. Seeing the uneasy look on her face, he offered her some support by wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"You all right?" He gently asked as he pulled her closer.

"Just a little nervous," she replied, leaning into his chest.

"Yeah, me too," he said with a smile.

"Liar," she lightheartedly answered back, finally feeling able to return his smile. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Is it workin'?"

Sue Ellen glanced over at the floor numbers lighting up then fading on the elevator panel. It reminded her of how close they were getting to their destination and the nervousness returned.

"Just don't let go of me," she timidly replied.

J.R. softly chuckled. "Not a chance."

As the numbers on the panel climbed higher, Sue Ellen looked up at him. "J.R., were we maybe being just a little bit presumptuous in coming here tonight?"

"Honey, once we conquer this, the rest will be a piece of cake," J.R. reassured her. "Besides, there ain't nothin' we can't do if we do it together … includin' facin' the crowd at the Oil Barons Club."

Sue Ellen reluctantly nodded. "Maybe you're right."

The hum of the elevator faded and the slight feeling of movement began to slow. J.R. straightened up and released her then quickly took her hand and gave it a supportive squeeze.

"'Course I'm right," he boldly announced with a matching grin even though his own nerves were a little unsettled. "And I'm about to prove it to you." A soft ding announced they had reached their destination and the elevator doors smoothly slid open, revealing the Oil Barons Club. "Now, c'mon," he softly coaxed as he led her through the doors by her hand. "The Dallas oil community just loves good gossip and we're about to give them somethin' to really get their tongues waggin'."

Regardless of the apprehension they were feeling, what they couldn't see themselves was the confident, united appearance they presented as they entered the club. On their own they were both powerful, attractive personalities. But together, they shared and strengthened each other's aura. It was as if the king and his queen had just stepped into the room, making all eyes turn to them whether in resentment or awe.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ewing, how good to see you!" The owner and hostess of the club, Dora Mae, said as she approached them.

"Thank you, Dora Mae," the couple responded in unison with genuine smiles, both pleased by the gracious comment.

"We've been so worried about you ever since news of the tornado first came over the television," Dora Mae added, looking first to Sue Ellen then to J.R. "Thank God you're both all right."

"Amen to that," J.R. said with a quick nod in acknowledgement to the hostess. "And this bein' our first chance to get out, we couldn't think of any place better for a quiet celebration than the Oil Barons Club."

"That's wonderful!" Dora Mae exclaimed, pleased by his compliment. "It makes your being here even more special then."

If anyone knew the torrid past between Sue Ellen and J.R., it was the well-known hostess of the Oil Barons Club. Dora Mae knew all the secrets of the Dallas oil community. Some of those secrets had even taken place in her restaurant. But she had decided long ago never to judge her customers, choosing to focus on the people behind the businesses and bank accounts instead, thereby granting them her absolute loyalty and discretion. That made her special to her unique clientele, allowing them to trust her in ways a regular restaurateur would never know. And because of that, they always came back, just as J.R. confirmed.

"Would you like your usual table, Mr. Ewing?" Dora Mae asked as she picked up two menus.

"No, Dora Mae," J.R. replied as he handed his hat over to her to check. Then he looked over at Sue Ellen and smiled. "How 'bout somethin' a little more secluded?"

"Yes, sir," she cheerfully nodded. "I have just the table."

As Dora Mae deftly led them through the restaurant and past tables of club patrons, J.R. and Sue Ellen received greetings from acquaintances, some even mentioning it was good to see J.R. up and around again. If anything, his appearance at the club so soon after the tornado further strengthened his formidable reputation.

Two people who knew that reputation too well were Franklin Horner, a Ewing Oil banker, and Jordan Lee, a member of the cartel that shared deals with Ewing Oil. They weren't close enough to speak to J.R. and Sue Ellen but seeing the former couple together again was enough to spark an animated discussion between the men. Just as J.R. thought it would when he noticed them together.

Dora Mae soon stopped at a table towards the back of the room. "How's this, Mr. Ewing?"

"Perfect, Dora Mae," J.R. replied as he pulled out a chair for Sue Ellen. He then sat down next to her. "Thank you."

"Please let me know if you need anything else tonight," Dora Mae said as she handed them menus. She then retreated and soon the head waitress of the club approached.

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Ewing," Cassie said with a smile as she walked over to the table with her tray. "Welcome back!"

"Thank you, Cassie," Sue Ellen said, returning her smile.

"Would you like to start off with your usual drinks tonight?" The waitress asked.

"How 'bout some sparklin' water ... for the both of us?" J.R. answered.

"Yes, sir." The waitress nodded. "I'll be right back with your drinks."

Sue Ellen leaned over to him. "J.R., you can have a bourbon. I don't mind if you drink."

"I know." Then he looked over at her with the same passion she had seen in his eyes earlier that afternoon. "I just don't want nothin' dullin' my senses … no pain pills … no alcohol … 'cause I wanna feel everything about you tonight."

Sue Ellen returned his gaze with an equal intensity then reached over and lovingly stroked the top of his hand with her thumb.

"You keep talking like that and we won't make it through dinner."

"Now there's an idea," he grinned.

Catching sight of a movement just behind J.R.'s shoulder, Sue Ellen glanced over to see Marilee Stone approaching their table. Knowing the resident black widow of Dallas would be nothing but trouble, Sue Ellen straightened up, preparing for the coming confrontation.

"You might be needing that bourbon after all, darlin'," Sue Ellen warned. "Marilee is on her way over."

"Oh, wonderful," J.R. unhappily replied. "And she'll no doubt be makin' one of her usual scenes." Then he sighed and resigned himself to the inevitable. "Well, better to get it over with now than have her ruinin' our dinner." He looked back at Sue Ellen. "You ready?"

"Hell, yes!" Sue Ellen defiantly replied, the thought of facing her long-time adversary emboldening her. "After what we've been through, we can handle Marilee Stone just fine."

J.R. softly laughed at her show of nerve then laced his fingers through hers, bringing her hand firmly into his. "Now that's the kinda attitude I been talkin' about. And damn, don't I love it!"

He was interrupted by a shrill voice coming at him from behind.

"My, my, my … would you look at this," Marilee sneered as she approached their table, noticing the couple was holding hands. "The former Mr. and Mrs. J.R. Ewing, cozy together once again. Is the war truly over or is this just another of your notorious truces?"

"Marilee, go away," J.R. responded with open contempt, ignoring the question as he surveyed her and the large, well-built young man at her side.

"First, I have to congratulate you, J.R.," she replied, unfazed. "You've used up another of your nine lives and survived that tornado. Bullets from the Shepard sisters … B. D. Calhoun and the feds … now natural disasters. Is there nothing that can stop you?"

"Nothin' I can't handle," J.R. coldly grinned.

Marilee blatantly looked him over and seductively raised an eyebrow. "None the worse for wear, I see. No permanent damage, I hope?"

"Not a thing," Sue Ellen sarcastically spoke up, her words as sharp as her glare as she silently fumed about Marilee's "Shepard sisters" remark. "He is just fine, Marilee … believe me."

"Why, thank you, darlin'," J.R. sweetly said to Sue Ellen as he smiled warmly at her.

His added affection was simply to back Sue Ellen up but it had the unexpected benefit of inciting Marilee's contempt. She saw there was something different about the way J.R. looked at Sue Ellen. Something she had never seen from him before. It was as if he really meant it … in a way he had never shown her during their times together. And she deeply resented them both for openly flaunting it.

"Oh, come now, Sue Ellen," Marilee replied as she returned her glare. "Don't tell me you've been taken in by him … again?" She disapprovingly clicked her tongue then turned her glare back on J.R. "This latest lovefest won't last … will it, J.R.? After all, don't you have a sweet, young bride-to-be tucked away somewhere?"

"Nope."

"What, you drove her outta town already?" Marilee persisted, almost laughing.

"Marilee, it's a shame you never loved anyone but yourself," J.R. replied. "'Cause if you had, then maybe you'd understand why there is only one woman I want at my side now and that's Sue Ellen."

"How touching," Marilee snidely countered. "But I wouldn't exactly describe what you and Sue Ellen have as 'love.'"

"Well, then try this on for size," he added, the fake good humor fading from his voice. "That tornado almost killed Sue Ellen and me. And there ain't nothin' like almost dyin' to make you really look at your life. You finally figure out what's important and realize just how stupid the mistakes you made were. And believe me, honey, gettin' involved with you was a mistake … one I just don't give a damn about anymore."

"Careful, J.R.," Marilee countered. "Don't burn your bridges with me just yet. There's a rumor spreading that you left Bobby and Ewing Oil. If so, there is still a lot I can do for you." Then her voice softened into a seductive purr. "But you're going to have to be nice to me to get it … extra nice."

J.R. paused to study the rude woman, his gaze sharp with contempt at her brazen proposition even as he was secretly pleased by what she had just unwittingly revealed about his change of status at Ewing Oil. The news was spreading faster than he had planned but he knew it could work to his advantage. And as tempting as it would be to call Dora Mae over and have Marilee thrown out, reason reminded him that the one thing she was good for was gossip. She could be his outlet for advancing the news of his planned comeback in the oil business and reunion with Sue Ellen. And using her like that would be the sweeter revenge.

"I already told you, Marilee," he finally replied with a wry grin. "Nothin' you got is the least bit of interest to me anymore. But I will be happy to confirm that rumor for you … I have left Ewing Oil. And here's a little somethin' extra … I'm plannin' on stayin' in the oil business and startin' up a new company."

"With what?" Marilee snickered.

"With all the Ewing Oil assets," J.R. confidently answered.

"With all the Ewing Oil assets?" Marilee weakly repeated, the fire instantly draining from her scorn. "That's impossible. Bobby owns Ewing Oil."

"Bobby owns the Ewing Oil name," J.R. corrected, enjoying her unhappy reaction. "I got the assets … every last one of 'em,"

Having revealed what he most wanted Marilee to know, J.R. sat back to gauge her reaction. When she visibly paled, he knew he had her.

"Why, Marilee … you look like you just seen a ghost," he gleefully remarked. "I'm guessin' that means you've figured out I'm still a major player in this business." As if turning off a light, J.R. ended all other pleasantries with her. "You also know it's gonna be a cold day in hell before I come knockin' on your door … for anything."

"You'll never make it without me and the cartel," Marilee quietly seethed.

"No, I'm thinkin' you and that ragtag bunch of vultures will never make it without me," J.R. replied, further using the advantage he held against her. "You couldn't find oil in the aisle of an auto store. And I'm done helpin' you and that pitiful little company you own."

Marilee conceded the verbal defeat where oil was concerned and quickly shifted to the other area where she knew she could strike back at J.R., perhaps even wounding the woman at his side while she was at it.

"Well, I still say it won't be long before you're coming to me for your other needs," Marilee silkily coaxed, placing her hands on the table to lean closer to J.R. "You always do because we both know one woman will never be enough to satisfy you."

Sue Ellen had been content to sit back and watch as J.R. manipulated the stupid woman in his game of cat-and-mouse. But now that Marilee had insulted her again, Sue Ellen put her hand on his arm, signaling it was her turn to respond.

"Marilee, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you're jealous," Sue Ellen replied with her most deceptively innocent tone, knowing too well that Marilee had always wanted J.R. for herself. "But then again, how could you be jealous? We both know one man …" She paused to briefly glance at the young companion at Marilee's side then back at her. "… or even one boy has never been enough to satisfy you, either."

"Sue Ellen, if I were you …" Marilee furiously replied, resenting that she had now been bested in the war of words by both Ewings.

"Marilee," J.R. interrupted, the hard resolve in his voice quickly silencing her, making her look back at him. "My patience with you is wearin' thin so let me just share one more thing then we'll be done. Sue Ellen is my partner now … in business and at home. She has my complete loyalty, like I haven't given anyone since my daddy died. And that leaves no room for outsiders."

Stunned into silence by his declaration, the likes of which she had never heard from J.R. before, Marilee studied his expression, looking for any hints of deception. Finding nothing except a strong determination that backed up his words, she straightened up and drew back from him.

J.R. impatiently waved her off. "Now get outta here. I wanna enjoy dinner with Sue Ellen … alone."

Marilee coldly stared at J.R. for several long seconds before she shrugged and attempted to smile. There was no longer any doubt that he meant every word he said but she wasn't about to let him know it meant anything to her. Especially because the Ewing Oil assets were substantial and it probably would mean she would be going to him for deals in the future instead of the other way around. But more importantly, Marilee realized J.R. was recovering his strength, both physically and financially, in a way she hadn't seen him do since the Justice Department closed Ewing Oil after his involvement with B. D. Calhoun. It was an intimidating realization, one that made her dismiss any other thoughts of challenging him.

"Well then, you have a wonderful evening," Marilee mockingly replied before pulling on the arm of her escort and walking away.

"I'm gonna enjoy knockin' that woman down a peg or two once I get goin' again," J.R. thought out loud as he watched her walk off.

"I wouldn't mind helping you," Sue Ellen added. "Did you mean what you said, about me being your partner?"

J.R. looked back at her with determination that momentarily surprised her. "You and I have never been closer than we've been the past few days. And as far as business is concerned, even though I haven't come right out and asked you to join me, it's somethin' I've been thinkin' about. Marilee just gave me the opportunity to say it out loud. You interested?"

Sue Ellen thought about the proposal for a moment then replied. "It's tempting, especially if we side against Marilee. That woman has been a thorn in my side since our days in the Daughters of The Alamo together and I certainly wouldn't mind teaching her a lesson. What have you got in mind?"

"Oh, there are several things her company's got that I'd just love to take away from her," J.R. replied, the seriousness lifting from his mood. "Startin' with a couple of prime reserve fields over in Odessa."

Sue Ellen looked at him for a moment then slowly smiled. "As always, you're prepared for the worst but are ready to take advantage of any opportunity that opens up."

J.R. realized Sue Ellen had picked up on his strategy and nodded. "And Marilee sure did give me my opportunity just now. I gave her those bits of information, knowin' that by tellin' her, the majority of this room will know by tomorrow that I am back in business." He turned to look out across the club then discreetly tipped his head in the direction of Franklin Horner and Jordan Lee's table, signaling to Sue Ellen to look over. "See, it's already happenin'. She went straight to Franklin and Jordan and looks like she is blabbin' all about us to them."

Sue Ellen glanced over at the table J.R. mentioned, saw things were happening exactly as he said, then looked back at him and smiled. He really had turned what could have been an unpleasant experience into something that would give him the advantage. In the process, he had also defended and praised her in a way he had never done before.

"What matters most to me, though," he added as if reading her mind, "is that these people now know you are back at my side … back where you belong."

"Thank you for that … and for the way you defended me against Marilee," Sue Ellen said as she traced her thumb over the back of his hand again, demonstrating her approval through the caress of his skin.

Her sensual touch made J.R. focus his attention back on her. "Let's not waste any more time talkin' about that old hussy." He suddenly grinned at her. "We got better things to discuss."

Sue Ellen coquettishly looked up at him. "Like what?"

"Like us." J.R. took her hand again and wrapped it in his. "Like our future together. Do you remember that list I was workin' on when you came in and found me at the Braddock Tavern?"

"You mean the stuff you were writing on the napkins in front of you?" She asked in reply. "The napkins you were so secretive about?"

J.R. softly smiled at her teasing reprimand and nodded. "Yes. That all came about as I sat there, thinkin' about everything that mattered to me. It got me writin' down all the things I wanted to do from then on." He paused to look at her, taking in everything about her, before continuing. "One of the most important things I wrote down was findin' ways to make you laugh again, like Lockwood did that day at the barbeque. As much as I resented him doin' that, it made me realize just how much I love hearin' you laugh. And I haven't given you any reason to laugh … or even smile … in a long, long time."

"But you have quite a few times the past few days," she softly replied, touched by what he said.

"And I wanna keep on doin' it."

Sue Ellen breathed out, trying to contain her exhilaration about what he was saying. "Do you have any idea how good that sounds?"

J.R. nodded and smiled. "I gotta a whole lot to make up to you … and to John Ross. And I surely am lookin' forward to makin' some good memories with the both of you."

"I have loved seeing you and John Ross together the past few days," Sue Ellen agreed.

"What do you think about me takin' him out to some of the oil fields?" J.R. asked. "Maybe start teachin' him some of the basics of the business, like my daddy taught me?"

"I think you'd have one happy boy on your hands," she said with a smile. "I'd even like to go with you … if you wouldn't mind having a girl along."

J.R. softly laughed. "No, we wouldn't mind, long as that girl is you. You might get awful dirty out there, though."

"I'll leave my high heels at home," she teased back.

They both laughed then J.R. continued. "Somethin' else I was writin' on those napkins was ideas about what kinda company I wanna build. It's gotta be somethin' with a future, somethin' I can leave behind for John Ross now that I don't have Ewing Oil." He looked back at her. "Sue Ellen, I've been preachin' to him about Ewing Oil for so long, I just hope he won't be disappointed about not havin' it now."

"Ewing Oil isn't what matters to him, J.R.," Sue Ellen replied as she briefly tightened her grip on his hand. "Being at your side, like you were with Jock … that's all John Ross wants."

J.R. once again felt humbled by her honest, exact observations and smiled at her in approval. "You know, if I weren't so damn crazy about you, it'd scare me to death, what you know about me."

She softly smiled at his comment. "Keep making me this happy and you won't regret it."

The tone of her voice and the look in her eye was a seductive cross between a threat and a dare that made J.R. appreciate her even more.

"Yes, ma'am … I surely will," he said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

When he drew back, Sue Ellen placed her hand on his cheek in return, touching him to show her approval.

Cassie discreetly approached with their drinks and sat them down. "Are you ready to order?"

"Oh, Cassie … we haven't even looked at the menus yet," Sue Ellen offered apologetically, a little flustered by J.R.'s attention and that they hadn't had time to even considered the real reason they were at the restaurant … to eat.

"How 'bout just bringin' us a couple of your best steaks, Cassie?" J.R. added, not wanting to waste any time on the decision. "You know the kind I like." Then he looked back at Sue Ellen. "Is that all right with you, darlin'?"

"Sounds fine," Sue Ellen agreed even though one of the steaks J.R. usually ordered was twice as much as she normally ate.

"Yes, sir," Cassie replied with a knowing smile then collected the menus and left the couple alone.

"Tell me something," Sue Ellen asked J.R. when the waitress left. "Was it true what you said to Marilee … about owning all the Ewing Oil assets?"

J.R. nodded. "It's true. I got 'em all back from Wendell and own 'em outright now."

"And what barrel did you have poor Jeremy over to get them back?" Sue Ellen remarked with a half-smile.

"A nice, uncomfortable one," J.R. grinned.

"All the Ewing Oil assets," Sue Ellen wondered aloud. "No wonder Marilee looked like she was going to be sick when you told her that."

"Marilee looked sick 'cause she knows she'll have to be comin' to me for deals now instead of the other way around," J.R. smugly added. "And she's gonna find me unavailable."

"Can you really work without her and the cartel?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know," he replied with a rare, uncertain honesty. "But I sure as hell wanna try. I'm sick to death of the way the independents in this town operate like the Dallas City Limits is the end of their world."

"That sounds like you're thinking about expanding outside Dallas," Sue Ellen remarked, intrigued by what he was saying.

J.R. grinned at her, appreciating her newfound business intuition. "That's exactly what I'm thinkin' about doin'. How was it when you took Valentine's national?"

Sue Ellen was flattered he had both noticed the progress she made with her company and that he asked her opinion.

"Well, it was terrifying at times … but ultimately rewarding. It certainly paid off when I sold it."

"C'mon, you can level with me now," J.R. charmingly coaxed, already knowing the answer to what he was about to ask. "How much money did you make on that deal?"

Sue Ellen knew he was toying with her and returned his grin. "Why do I get the feeling you already know?"

"'Cause I do," J.R. softly chuckled. "That's one of the benefits of public disclosure."

"So you've been checking up on me?" She playfully asked.

"You had me curious, honey, that's for sure," he grinned. "But I gotta tell you, that looked like one impressive deal."

She gave him a nod. "Thank you."

"Made you one of the wealthiest ladies in this town."

She nodded again. "Yes, it did."

"It sure put the likes of Marilee to shame," J.R. added, amused at the irony. Then he paused to consider Sue Ellen for a moment and slowly smiled again. "But I've always wondered where you got your initial startup for that little lingerie business that turned into such a moneymaker."

"Have you now?" Sue Ellen playfully countered. "Well, considering the game I was playing at the time, it seemed especially sweet that my unknowingly generous husband funded the initial purchase."

"What'd you do, write out a check from my account?" J.R. asked, amused at her audacity.

"I thought about that," Sue Ellen replied. "But it would have been too easy for you to find. So, since I still had the money from our first divorce settlement that you never asked me to return, I invested it instead."

J.R. laughed again. "Good Lord, woman … you truly are a force to be reckoned with. But now you've got me wonderin' if maybe you owe me half of what you got for Valentine's, just 'cause I was your unknowing silent partner."

"I don't owe you a damn thing and you know it!" She retorted, amused by his teasing suggestion.

"You're right," he agreed, also amused but equally impressed. "You earned what you got out of it. But it also makes me hope you'll share some of those skills with me now I'll be startin' up a new company."

"J.R., about this new company," she thoughtfully remarked, the amusement in her expression fading into concern. "I just hope you'll keep everything legitimate this time. No more Holly Harwoods or Kimberly Cryders … no more B. D. Calhouns. You are so much better than the direction you went with those people."

J.R. was momentarily uncomfortable with her honesty but soon realized she had a point. "And not one of them were ever worth the trouble they caused me in return."

It was an uncomfortable subject for Sue Ellen, too, but she knew there was one more warning she had to give him.

"I also hope you know," she carefully started, "that I won't tolerate your, 'its just business' attitude to justify using sex as part of your deals like you did with Holly and Kimberly. And not just because of the way it hurts me. The oil business is vicious enough without that factored in to it. The way Marilee acted tonight is a prime example. Do you really want our son exposed to that now you'll be introducing him to the business?"

Hearing Sue Ellen connect his past actions to their son made a repulsive image pop into J.R.'s head. The vision was of John Ross in a few years standing at the side of Marilee Stone, just as the young man he had noticed earlier had been. It was more than enough to make him realize how valid Sue Ellen's concerns were.

Misinterpreting his silence, Sue Ellen gentled her tone as she continued. "J.R., just share your intelligence with John Ross … your skill … your ability to cut right through to what really matters in a deal. And if you end up working with a better class of people while you're at it, then so much the better."

The way her admonition had turned back into an inspiring compliment made J.R. thoughtfully gaze over at her.

"Both you and John Ross do deserve a better class of people than the ones I've been dealin' with, that's for sure," J.R. softly replied before slowly grinning at her. "All the more reason for you to join me."

Sue Ellen knew from the enigmatic look in his eye he was devising something. "You're really serious about that, aren't you?"

"You're damn right I am! I think we could really shake this town up if we join forces." Then he noticed Cassie returning with their salads. "Just give me a little more time to work out the details then I'll have some specifics for you."

As the waitress placed the plates in front of them, Sue Ellen studied J.R. He had reeled her in with the tempting offer then stalled, making her even more interested. She smiled, realizing it was one of his classic moves. He would always need his secrets and schemes … there was no getting around that. But the past few days had given her enough incentive to trust that he was planning something worthwhile for their future … a future that would now be jointly shared by their son. Because of that, she could wait for him to reveal whatever it was he was planning. Besides, knowing it somehow involved her really did make it an exciting possibility.

"Then how about if we put off any other talk of oil until after dinner?" She demurely replied, giving J.R. with one of her tempting half-smiles. "I'm starvin'."

J.R. laughed at Sue Ellen using one of his favorite sayings then picked up his fork and began to eat even as he continued to marvel at the lady at his side. She had entered the club with hesitation and doubt yet had ended up making one hell of an impression on the people surrounding them, especially Marilee. But most importantly, he knew Sue Ellen was firmly back on his side, giving him the feeling they could conquer the oil business … Dallas … hell, even the entire planet as long as they did it together, just as he told her they could before they stepped off the elevator. And because of that, he would find a way to keep her involved in the new business every step of the way.


	36. Chapter 36

Wild Is The Wind, Part 36

The entryway of Sue Ellen's mansion was quiet until the faint sound of jingling keys being placed in the lock were heard. Within seconds, the bolt smoothly slid open and Sue Ellen entered through the door, followed by J.R.

"I gotta tell you," he said with a happy grin as he closed the door behind them and handed the keys to Sue Ellen. "I'm still so damn proud of the way you handled yourself with Marilee tonight."

Sue Ellen turned back to him and grinned. "Well, to be honest … so am I. There was a time when she scared me to death."

"But not anymore," he proudly boasted. "You sure did make an impression on her. Hell, the whole room was in awe of you tonight!"

"Why, thank you, darlin'," she reservedly said even as she appreciated his sentiment. "Although I do think you're being a bit biased."

"Why, because I was the one lucky enough to have you at my side tonight?" He burst into laughter. "Then you're damn right I'm biased! I have every right to be."

Sue Ellen softly laughed at the enjoyment he was getting out of what happened. "I just hope you don't mind we came home a little earlier than planned."

J.R. stopped to look at her and his excitement morphed into a gentle smile that in no way diminished his delight. "Not at all. And I know you suggested it because you're still fretin' about me gettin' tired out with this concussion and all." He shrugged his shoulders and continued to grin at her. "To tell the truth, I am kinda tired. But what a night!" He slowly approached Sue Ellen as he spoke. "The best part about it, though," he said in his low, most charming voice as he placed his hands on her hips, "was us bein' left alone for dinner. Which I enjoyed … a whole helluva lot."

"Even though it was rather uneventful compared to the way it started out?" She gently teased.

"Mmmm," J.R. softly murmured as he slid his arms around her waist, locking his hands behind her as he gently brought her against him. "Even though I loved the way you entered that room at my side and made the whole place take notice then battled Marilee with me, I loved just bein' with you even more."

Sue Ellen smiled and glided her hands over the material of his suit covering his outstretched arms. "J.R. Ewing, you are going to make me blush with all this praise."

He bent over to place a light, lingering kiss on her cheek. "You deserve it. I really am proud of you."

"Come on, you charmer," she sweetly replied as she slipped out of his embrace and took his hand. "You need some rest."

"You're right, I do," he said as he quickly reversed her hold and redirected them both into the dark living room. "So, c'mon in here with me."

Once inside the room, he released her hand to quickly slip out of his jacket and loosen his tie then gracefully pulled her down onto the couch with him. Sue Ellen gave into him without any resistance. She even grinned at the idea. It had been a long time since they had spent time on a couch together in a dark room.

Enjoying the rare moment of quiet when all he needed was the woman at his side in a way more intimate than sexual, J.R. wrapped his uninjured arm around her back and rested his other arm over his chest, bringing her free hand up to cover it with his. Once settled, he began to trace light, mindless patterns down and across her back, making her shiver when he found the sensitive places he knew so well.

As if to acknowledge the pleasure he generated simply with his touch, Sue Ellen gently removed her hand from his then caressed it in return. Becoming bolder as each languid moment passed, she slowly raised her head to place light, fleeting kisses across his jaw, cheekbones, and forehead then down his nose to his mouth.

She couldn't remember the last time they had been together like this, just kissing, just for the hell of it. It reminded her of the first time they kissed and the sweet, innocent thrill that came from it. A moment so much like now.

The lingering then retreating glances of her mouth made J.R. tightly close his eyes in mock frustration that the pleasure in his smile quickly betrayed.

"Sue Ellen …" he playfully pleaded, his voice only a whisper.

"Hmmm?" She leisurely answered, continuing to kiss him.

"That drives me crazy, you know that."

"What does?" She teased.

"The way you're kissin' me … or not kissin' me," he breathlessly replied even as he continued to endure the enticing torture.

She simply grinned in response as she imitated his own wicked chuckle he delighted in using when teasing her. Then she traced her lips back down over his jaw to his ear, making it clear she had no intention of stopping.

"Who taught you to be such a tease?" He asked after a moment with same soft chuckle, the question needing no answer since he knew exactly who had taught her what she was doing.

Sue Ellen finally stopped and lifted her head to look down at him. As she rested against his chest again, J.R. was captivated by the look in her eyes that was as alluring as it was amusing.

"You know exactly who taught me … and when," she replied in a slow, sensual drawl. "It was all those nights we spent talking … listening to the radio … just holding hands on my mamma's couch at her house down in Austin." The recollection made J.R. softly laugh again even as she incriminated him further. "That was the first place you kissed me … where you taught me how to kiss."

"Yes, it was," J.R. agreed, still grinning. "It took forever for me to get up the nerve to kiss you first."

"I always wondered about that, why it took you so long," Sue Ellen remarked with a smile. "I thought it was because you didn't like me enough to kiss me."

"Didn't like you?" He remarked, genuinely surprised. "Oh, honey … it was just the opposite. I wanted you like I'd never wanted a woman before. But you were different … special … and I wasn't gonna kiss you just for the hell of it."

"Really?" She said in amazement, never having heard him say anything like that before.

J.R. simply nodded, knowing he had made another much-needed impression on her. As much as he had always resisted sharing what he felt about her, always thinking it was inappropriate or unnecessary, the new, easy honesty he was finding with her was blowing all of his old misconceptions like that right out of the water. And he was finding he enjoyed it, especially her reactions to what he revealed.

"I knew the minute I kissed you, I'd be hooked," he added. "And I was right." Then he grinned at her. "From then on, I started plannin' my trips down to Austin when I knew your mamma would be gone, just so I could get you alone on that couch."

Sue Ellen softly laughed. "Yes, you did. And didn't I love it." She paused to study him for a moment, memories from the past making the light in her eyes sparkle. "You were so different from any of the boys I knew. You made me feel things I'd never felt before … things I thought ladies weren't supposed to feel. But it felt so good."

"Mmmm, yes it did," J.R. agreed with a proud, wicked grin.

Sue Ellen traced a finger over his chin. "It always reminded me of that Dusty Springfield song … oh, what was the name of it … something about 'the son of a preacher man.'" J.R. softly laughed at being even remotely compared to something religious but she continued. "It wasn't the title that meant anything, J.R. … it was the lyrics, the way she sang them. She was singing about everything I was feeling about you at that time. My mamma didn't want me to marry you … she didn't think you had enough money. But that just made you even more exciting … tempting … forbidden."

Amusement lighted J.R.'s expression at her recollection. It had been a long time since he had taken the time to just listen to Sue Ellen and he found himself enchanted by her all over again, just like at dinner earlier that night … just like those nights she was talking about back when he was courting her.

"And her thinkin' that about me made me work twice as hard to convince you we needed to be together," he replied. Then his smile faded as his mood turned serious once more. "Seems we've come full circle, honey. I'm gonna be workin' just as hard to convince you we need to be together now."

Sue Ellen looked at him for a moment longer, her expression a mixture of contentment and hesitation, then she lowered her head to rest against his chest again.

They fell once more into a comfortable silence and Sue Ellen realized that just like the times on her mother's couch, she was enjoying the chance just to listen to J.R. with his voice in the low, sweet pitch when the deceit was gone from him and he had nothing to hide or prove. This J.R., she thought … this J.R., she loved.

As if to reinforce that, her head rested close enough on his chest to hear his heartbeat. She closed her eyes as the steady beat reminded her of all the nights she had been in his arms like this after they were married and things had started to change between them, moments when she wished with everything she had that somehow she could do something to make his heart change back to the way he had been when he courted her. Back to when she thought he genuinely loved her.

Was it really possible that change had finally happened to him? That the way he had been the past few days since the tornado and the words of love he had so freely offered her were genuine?

She still had so many reservations, even after all they had resolved and recovered. Yet even with so many of the old wounds healing, some still lingered. How could they not after their vicious war of words the past year?

Forcing herself to put a mental brake on those thoughts she still found so overwhelming, she concentrated back on how good it felt just to be in his arms, just for that moment.

"This is nice," she softly remarked.

"Yes, it is." J.R. gently replied as he kissed her forehead. "Much better than goin' out dancin' like I planned."

"I had a feeling you weren't ready for that," she replied, expressing her concern for him once again. "But this is better. Maybe it's because I've been so spoiled, having you all to myself the past few days. I kinda like being the center of your attention."

"Do you now?" J.R. grinned as he briefly tightened his hold on her. "Me, too. I just didn't want you thinkin' I was a borin' date."

His comment made Sue Ellen softly laugh as she looked up at him again. "You, a boring date? About as boring as a jump off Reunion Tower."

J.R. proudly grinned at her comment. "Why, thank you, darlin'!"

They fell silent for another moment before Sue Ellen spoke up again, a faint trace of hope in her voice.

"It would be nice if we had time to be together like this more often."

"It was a little tough, gettin' time like this alone at Southfork, wasn't it?" J.R. replied.

"Yes, it was."

"Well, then you just plan on more moments like this in the future," he promised. "Because bein' alone with you like this is another reason why I'm not gonna miss livin' at the ranch anymore with all those Ewings … and Ewing wannabes … runnin' 'round the place."

She gave him a brief, disapproving look at his derogatory comment about his relatives before she smiled again and stroked her fingers across his chest.

"J.R., you sure you're not going to miss the ranch?" She gently asked. "Southfork means so much to you."

"At one time, it did … and I wouldn't have left it for nothin'," he answered back. "But I found out this past week there is somethin' more important than Southfork … Ewing Oil … even the Ewings. And that's my family … you and John Ross. Wherever you two are is my home now."

Sue Ellen released an uneven breath, genuinely moved by his words. "I do love hearing you talk like that."

"And I mean every word of it." Then he attempted to explain it to her. "Maybe it's 'cause I'm gettin' older … maybe a little smarter. Almost dyin' certainly reinforced it. But all I want to do now is just settle down and start enjoyin' this second chance I got. And I hope you'll stick around and enjoy it with me 'cause there is no doubt I could take the rest of my life gettin' to know you all over again. You surely have been full of surprises the past few days."

"I still can't believe how little time it took for us to get back together," she said with a smile, purposefully avoided answering him. "I even feel a little guilty, how fast I went from hating you to ... not hating you."

Her slight hesitation hit J.R. like a tanker truck. She had almost said "... from hating you to loving you." He felt it in his soul. But even though she had once again resisted saying she loved him, the fact that she almost had was enough to make his pulse jump.

"There's nothin' to feel guilty about, honey," he casually responded, attempting to reign in his excitement, knowing she still needed time and proof of his commitment. "It happened so fast 'cause we both know it's where we belong. It's like this whole week, things I never really thought about before suddenly matter a whole more. Somethin' as simple as just bein' able to hold you like this feels so good now. And somehow, I wanna convince you it's where I wanna be. Where I wanna stay."

"If you're going to be courting me like this again, like you did the first time around," she added with a playful half smile. "I'm going to have a hard time resisting you, just like then."

As J.R. looked into her deep, soft eyes, he felt his heart beat a little faster again, making him smile as he cupped her face in his free hand and traced his thumb over her cheek.

"Even if I can't get you to marry me again … at least for now," he resolutely replied. "I do plan on givin' you every reason possible to keep me around."

She softly laughed, finding his challenge both amusing and appealing. "And I'm just tempted enough to let you."

"Good!" J.R. replied, genuinely relieved at her consent. Then he paused for a moment to look at her, his head tipping slightly to the side as he considered once again how many things he admired about her. His mood mirrored that as his voice became reflective. "There is such strength in you now," he remarked, a deep, appreciation enriching the pitch of his voice already warm with attraction. "A strength I never knew you had."

Sue Ellen self-consciously looked away from him even as she smiled in return at the compliment. J.R. had never been one to openly share his feelings but he had done so several times since the tornado, especially tonight, with each time surprising her while further endearing him to her.

"What a nice thing to say," she modestly remarked.

"I mean it, Sue Ellen," he persisted. "Even after all you've been through … even after all I put you through … you've overcome it all and made yourself better because of it. You've become such an independent, self-assured woman who doesn't owe anyone a damn thing … especially not me. And if that ain't bein' a Ewing, I don't know what is."

Sue Ellen grinned at the way he had found the way to somehow tie her accomplishments back to him. But she knew it wasn't from his usual arrogance. Instead, he had meant it as a genuine compliment, one of the highest he could bestow.

"I've often wondered if I would have found that strength in myself if I hadn't become a Ewing," she replied then momentarily paused to really consider what she said. "Being a Ewing … seems like it's a legacy Jock instilled in all of us. And we all take what we need from it. Your mother uses it to compliment her Southworth strength and determination. Bobby uses it to justify doing whatever he damn well pleases, going back and forth from the ranch to oil."

Her assessment of his baby brother made J.R. laugh. "Ain't that the truth."

"And Gary," Sue Ellen continued, "he found very little in being a Ewing and found his own way … just like Jock would do. Even Ray, despite him not using the Ewing name, seems to have found his own worth in simply being Jock Ewing's son." Then she looked up at J.R. for a moment before continuing. "Then there's you. Although your methods are questionable at times, you seem to be the one who is the Ewing in the way Jock always wanted. You have the sense of family and the reasons why it matters being a Ewing, just like he did."

J.R. nodded, pleased by her remark. "Yes."

"It must be why it's been so difficult for you, seeing your family change, especially after losing your father the way you did."

"I could never really convince anyone of that, Sue Ellen." J.R. replied, a shade of repressed urgency in his tone even as he felt the relief in someone finally understanding him.

She nodded. "I know."

J.R. fell silent as he considered all she had said and reached out to trace the back of his finger across her cheek.

"You're just the opposite of me," he said after a moment. "I refused to believe things were different when Daddy died … tried like hell to keep it the way it was before he left. But you ... you always seem to find a way to adjust to changes like that. Just look at the way you've handled how that tornado shook us up and shoved us back together. I know a big part of that's gotta be that unending ability you have to love, no matter what. And I wanna learn how you do that, if you'll teach me. I know I can ... somehow, someway. My daddy can't have beat it all outta me 'cause I still feel so much when I look at you and John Ross ... when I feel you here against me like this."

The seriousness of his voice and expression was staggering in sincerity. It was something Sue Ellen had never seen or felt from him before. And once again, she found herself touched by him, amazed by this man who was the most infuriatingly complex yet compelling person she had ever met.

He had done so many terrible things to her in the past, made her hate him at a level she had never knew existed until each new transgression happened. Yet moments like this with him ... the way he could read her heart and mind, make her feel things more intensely than any other person ever had … it was why she continually felt unable to resist him despite the danger of the pain he was capable of inflicting.

Besides their son being a bridge that would eternally connect them, Sue Ellen now knew severing ties completely to J.R. would be futile. Like it or not, he was the key to so many of things she now was. In a rational view, that might make her a masochist or glutton for punishment. But her ability to be rational about him was also impossible. She was the only one who would ever understand all the tiny threads that wove J.R. Ewing so completely into the fabric of her soul. And never before had she understood that ... or him ... so clearly.

J.R. watched her intently. The combination of her silence and the clarity in the way she looked at him took his breath away. It was just as he had always thought and feared. Loving Sue Ellen so much and trying to explain what he felt to her seemingly robbed him of his power, brought all his vulnerabilities out in the open. Yet as terrifying as being so open with her was, it was nothing compared to the thought of living without her again.

"Thanks for havin' the guts to stick around and give me this one last shot," he quietly added, trying to verbalize his thoughts despite the risk he felt.

The way his simple, honest statement reinforced her own thoughts immobilized Sue Ellen, trapping her in the dichotomy of her own emotions. A few days ago, hearing something like that from him would have both terrified and angered her. Now it was incredibly precious to her in so many new, unexpected ways.

The dark passion he could now see in her eyes let J.R. know his words had worked, drawing her to him once again. But it was no victory as it once would have been, no game he played to win her over to his side. Instead, he was the one succumbing to her with the look in her eyes making him feel as if her were coming apart and being rebuilt the way she wanted. And he gladly gave into the sensation.

They came together in a kiss that communicated so much more than their words ever could, granting each a satisfaction that stripped them of any remaining defenses. It was a kiss of ownership and commitment, of acceptance and fate, a kiss that sealed the new, inexplicable understanding they were finding despite all that had worked against them in the past. But most of all, it was kiss that continued to build on what had started out of their control in the cold, frightening dark of the storm cellar … as they gave up the fight, it freed them both to finally belong to each other completely.


	37. Chapter 37

Wild Is The Wind, Part 37

Even though it was the weekend, the manager in charge of the small, local bank in Braddock proudly led one of his best clients down a back hall to a private conference room.

"Here we are, Mr. Ewing," the formal, well-dressed man announced as he opened the door, letting J.R. pass by him. "Everything is just as you asked. And if there is anything else you need, sir, please let me know. I'll be in my office."

"Thank you, Robert," J.R. said with a nod, appreciating once again that he used the bank for his personal business due to their flexibility and personal attention. "That'll be all for now."

Watching as the door closed behind the man, J.R. then turned and was greeted by the expectant grin of his secretary, Sly.

"J.R., it's so good to see you up and around!" The pretty, young blonde said as she approached her boss to give him a hug.

"Aw, thank you, Sly!" J.R. happily chuckled as he returned her platonic embrace then drew back to look down at her. "It's good to see you, too. Thanks for meetin' me out here on your day off and with such short notice."

"That's no problem at all. It was good to get your call." She paused for a moment to observe her boss then smiled again. Instead of the pale, injured man she expected, he had a healthy color and looked very well rested. Plus there was more, something about the bright, fired up look in his eyes. All were things she hadn't noticed about him in a long time and it was good to see. "You look so much better than I expected. I thought you'd be pretty roughed up after what you went through. Instead, here you are, looking rested … relaxed … so full of life!"

"Well, I gotta tell ya," he replied with another laugh at her enthusiasm while being pleased by her comment. "The tornado be damned, this past week has been good to me."

"That wouldn't have anything to do with you being out with Sue Ellen last night, would it?" Sly said with a knowing smile.

Surprised, J.R. looked over at her. "Well, it surely would. How'd you know about that?"

"It's in this morning's paper." Sly handed him a copy of the paper folded to the section she wanted him to see.

"Marilee and that big mouth of hers must be workin' overtime," he muttered to himself as he took the paper from her and looked it over. After he read the brief blurb in the society section, J.R. looked back at Sly then began to laugh. "And bless her little black heart because of it."

Sly closely studied him. "You're not upset by that?"

"Hell no!" He grinned "That's the way I planned it, why I took Sue Ellen to the Oil Barons Club in the first place. Marilee just took it a whole lot farther than I ever expected with her blabbin' to the paper." Seeing the confusion on his secretary's face, J.R. explained further. "You see, Sly … now it's more than just the Oil Barons Club that knows I'm with Sue Ellen again … it's all of Dallas. And that's good 'cause I'm gonna be back in business soon, I'm gonna be partnered up with Sue Ellen, and the whole town better get ready 'cause we're gonna make them all sit up and take notice."

"The two of you in business together … that sounds great!" She enthusiastically replied. "But that must also mean the rumors about you leaving Ewing Oil are true, too?"

"Yes, it's true. But it's nothin' for you to worry your pretty head about 'cause when I'm out on my own again, buildin' up a new company with the Ewing Oil assets, I won't be able to do it without my best secretary at my side now will I?"

"No, you won't." She beamed. "Thank you, J.R.!"

"So, for right now, you just cool your heels at Ewing Oil. I'll work that all out with Bobby. 'Cause I gotta whole lot of things to set in motion before we get goin' again. But before I do, I'm also gonna be takin' some time off for a little bit."

"Some time off?" She unintentionally interrupted him, surprised by what he said.

"Yeah, I know," J.R. grinned. "Vacationin' isn't one of the things I do best. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I had more than two days off in a row … well, besides that fiasco in Haleyville. But right now, there is nothin' more I want than to just spend some time with my wife and son, gettin' to know them again."

"That sounds wonderful, J.R.," Sly replied, genuinely happy for her boss and finally understanding his transformation. "It really does."

"In the mean time," he continued with his instructions, "I need you to work on gettin' all my files in order and field my calls for me. I'll be stayin' with Sue Ellen so you can contact me there. Plus I need you to get in touch with Bob Johnson. I want him to get me a rundown on Stonehurst Oil … you know, the usual information he supplies me with. I wanna know just where Marilee's strengths and weaknesses are."

"Yes, sir," Sly said as she wrote down what he said on the notepad she had brought with her.

"And Sly," J.R. said as he slyly looked over at his secretary with a playful, devious expression. "While I'm outta the office, how 'bout keepin' an eye and ear on my baby brother and that idiot Barnes? If anything interestin' comes up, be sure and let me know, will ya?"

"Of course," Sly nodded with another perceptive smile.

"Now then …" J.R. said, looking around the room then over at the box on the long table at their side. "You got my safety deposit box ready?"

"Yes, sir," she replied, turning to it. "I unlocked it just before you got here."

"Puttin' you on my list for this box was one of the best things I ever did," J.R. said as he walked over to the box and opened it. "You're not only a great caretaker, it sure saves me a lotta time." They both approached the box then J.R. opened it and looked inside. "The envelope I'm lookin' for … it's white and has Sue Ellen's name written out 'cross the front of it. You know the one I'm talkin' about?"

"Yes," Sly replied as she fingered through the contents of the box, already having everything neatly in place in her usual way. "If I remember right, it's in the back, towards the bottom."

Just as she said, tucked away at the back of the box among J.R.'s personal papers and deeds was a small, misshapen envelope with the words "Sue Ellen" written out across the front in his handwriting. Sly picked it up and handed it to him.

J.R. took the envelope and studied it carefully. The intention had always been that if something happened to him and the box was opened, Sue Ellen would receive the envelope and it's contents. At the time he put it in the box, it seemed the best thing to do. Now, as he stood staring down at the envelope, he realized just how wrong that decision had been. The contents should have never been hidden away in his safety deposit box. There was somewhere more important it belonged.

With no more hesitation, he carelessly tore off the end of the envelope then slowed his motions to tip the opened end into his hand, letting the contents slip onto his palm. A simple gold band was suddenly there, glistening up at him from the fluorescent light of the room. Then he smiled, realizing he was once again holding the wedding ring Sue Ellen had placed on his finger so many years ago during their first wedding ceremony.

Handing the torn envelope to Sly to discard, J.R. turned his attention back to the ring and held it up for closer inspection as he considered what he was about to do and the reason why he was doing it. The gold band, hidden away in a bank vault, represented more of the terrible lies he had told Sue Ellen over the years. But at least it was one of those lies he could correct.

He had thought of so many excuses why he stopped wearing the ring. Excuses so easy to find when he really wanted to. Some he couldn't even remember. He had probably even said he had lost the ring. But then again, Sue Ellen had never asked why he stopped wearing it even though he knew she had noticed.

J.R. remembered exactly when he had taken the ring off. He had stopped wearing it just before John Ross was born. With the baby's parentage in question and Sue Ellen so distant, the ring had felt like the heavy, unbearable symbol of all that chained him to the things his father and mother wanted, not what he wanted.

What he had wanted at that time was to be the carefree playboy he had been in college ... going where he wanted, when he wanted, and seeing any woman he damn well pleased. Although he could easily cheat on Sue Ellen whether he was wearing the ring or not, not wearing it seemed symbolic of not being married … just as he wanted … and taking it off helped sever the ties to a wife he thought he didn't love and a baby he would grudgingly have to pretend was his.

Neither belief could have been farther from the truth, he sadly thought.

With all honesty, J.R. knew that Sue Ellen hadn't been the problem back then but he had never bothered to consider her feelings. He had made her a Ewing by marrying her, given her the life, status, and money that went with it. In return, he had expected her to accept anything he did. And she had tried. Tried so hard it had it had given her even more reason to withdraw from him, making her turn to a bottle of alcohol and other men.

That was just as he had hoped for, just as he had planned. Only now, after everything they had been through the past week, after nearly losing her and nearly being killed himself, the way he had mistreated her throughout their marriage once again stung like hell.

Concerned by her boss' sudden silence and the distance she could see in his expression, Sly gently reached out to put her hand on J.R.'s shoulder.

"J.R.," she softly called out. "Are you all right?"

Jolted back to the present, J.R. released the breath he had been unknowingly holding and attempted to grin over at his secretary.

"Yeah … yeah … I'm fine," he replied, trying to gloss over his mood change. "It's just everything I've been through this week with the tornado and all ... guess it's made me a little reflective."

"That's understandable," Sly sympathetically agreed. "I'm still amazed at you being back on your feet and looking so good after such a short time."

"Yeah," J.R. nodded as he fingered the ring in his hand. "Nothin' like bein' with a good woman to get me whipped back into shape."

Sly was intrigued by what her boss said. There was no doubt he was talking about Sue Ellen. Of all the woman she had seen him with over the years, there was only one who truly made an impression on him, over and over again, and that was his ex-wife. But what Sly hadn't realized until that moment was just how deeply J.R.'s feelings were for her in return.

"This ring, Sly," J.R. said, holding up the gold band. "It's the first one Sue Ellen gave me. I've decided to start wearin' it again."

"I, uh … noticed ... the two of you had words before the wedding was supposed to start … before the tornado," she said, struggling for the right words.

"Yes, we did," J.R. agreed. "The weddin' …" He stopped and sighed. "God, that feels like years ago and it was only last week. Little did I know that day I was gonna end up with the woman I was meant to be with all along."

Sly smiled once more at her boss, both genuinely pleased for J.R. and that he had obviously realized how mismatched he was with Cally. She had never had any problems with Cally personally. The girl was actually very sweet. But Sly had overheard so many derogatory comments about J.R. and his "hillbilly bride" in the copy room and break room, it would be a relief he was back with Sue Ellen, a woman who was so much better suited to him in so many ways.

"You sound happy, J.R.," Sly warmly said.

J.R. looked over at his secretary for a moment then nodded and smiled in return. "I truly am, Sly … I truly am."

He looked once more at the ring in his hand then picked it up to slip it onto his ring finger. Flexing his hand, opening and closing his fingers, allowing the gold band to settle comfortably into place, J.R. then curled his hand into a fist and looked down at the ring once more. Seeing it on his finger again gave him an odd feeling of strength. It would now be a reminder he would always have with him even as it regained the symbolism of what it was originally meant to be … proof of his commitment to the woman who gave it to him so many years ago. The woman he was now bound to like no other.

"And now," J.R. added, slamming the lid on the safety deposit box closed as if he was slamming the door on the terrible past actions he now wanted to make right. "It's time I was gettin' myself out to Southfork to meet my wife and son for the day we've got planned."

"That sounds nice." Sly agreed. "And J.R. … about the ring," she carefully added. "I have a feeling once Sue Ellen sees it on you, it's going to make quite an impression."

"I hope so, Sly," J.R. said with a sigh. "I need all the help I can get. I gotta a lot to make up to that woman." He paused and became reflective again. "You know better than anybody. It's been a while since I'd did the right thing versus the most expedient thing." He flexed his left hand again, reminding him of the ring once again on his finger. "But this time around, I have every intention of keepin' this commitment."

"You go, then … go and meet your family," Sly grinned. "I'll finish up everything here."

"I'd be lost without you, you know that?" J.R. said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "So, don't you be goin' nowhere and leavin' me, you hear?"

"No, sir … I won't." She grinned.

"I'll catch up with you early next week. And call if you need anything in the mean time."

"I will. Enjoy!"

"See you soon!" J.R. went to the door then stopped, pausing for a moment before he turned back to his secretary. "And Sly … if you talk to your Uncle Harry, do me a favor and tell him I'd like to buy him a beer sometime … if he's up for it."

Sly knew the two men had had a falling out but she had never asked either for explanations. The business they did together had always been too secretive for her to pry into. But she did know it had bothered her uncle, whatever it was, and would gladly give him the new message from J.R.

"I'll be happy to, J.R. Anything else?"

"Nope, that's it," he said with one last grin and a wink. "Thanks again."

With that, he was gone. Sly slowly shook her head and smiled, marveling at her boss once more. He had always been one of the most confident people she had ever dealt with … maybe even a little overconfident at times. But now, there seemed to be a renewed purpose about him … a better sense of what he wanted and whom he wanted to be with. Could he have really changed that much in the space of a week? She shrugged her shoulders. How could nearly getting killed not change a person? And with that person being her boss, she hoped it would only bring better things for both him and her.


	38. Chapter 38

Wild Is The Wind, Part 38

As Sue Ellen turned her car into the Southfork driveway, just like she had done so many times before, it felt like she was going home. Yet there was a nagging anxiety about it in the pit of her stomach. Southfork hadn't been her home for some time and according to J.R., it was no longer his home, either.

She still had difficulty believing that. Was it really possible for him to give up Southfork? Only time would tell. But before she could think about it further, she was jolted back to the present as she neared the house and saw Clayton and Miss Ellie on the patio. She had hoped to avoid Clayton after his confrontation with J.R. the night of the barbeque.

What a night that had been. All the latest dirty laundry she and J.R. shared had been aired out in front of the family, yet again, with Clayton ending up giving J.R. a split lip. He deserved it … he always did. But what really concerned her now was Clayton had to know she had allowed J.R. back into her life and he was bound to disapprove.

"This should be fun," she sarcastically muttered to herself as she steered into the parking area at the edge of the patio. That last thought about Clayton's disapproval hadn't helped her nerves at all.

When the car stopped, she turned off the engine then spotted the older couple approaching. She was about to find out just what Clayton thought, one way or the other, and it would be better to face it head on. So with that, she gripped the door handle and got out of the car. Besides, could facing Clayton be any worse than the combination of a tornado, Cally showing up at her house, and having J.R. back in both her life and her bed? That made her smile. No, Clayton wouldn't be a problem.

"Good morning, Clayton ... Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen warmly greeted the couple as they met near the end of the patio.

"Sue Ellen, you're just in time for some coffee," Miss Ellie said with smile. "Would you like to join us?"

"No thank you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen replied, returning the lady's smile. "I'm here to see if John Ross would like to spend the day with J.R. and me."

"I bet he would love that!" Miss Ellie happily mused then looked out over Sue Ellen's shoulder. "Where is J.R.?"

"He had some business in Braddock this morning and said he'd meet me here." Sue Ellen looked back behind her, down the driveway, suddenly wishing he was there at least for moral support. "I'm kinda surprised he's not here already."

"That was quite the news in this morning's paper about the two of you," Clayton finally said, the edgy tone of his voice clearly letting Sue Ellen know he was indeed unhappy about her current situation.

"What news?" Sue Ellen replied unknowingly, turning to face him directly as she mentally prepared for the confrontation she now knew was coming.

"There were just a few lines in the society section about you and J.R. having dinner last night at the Oil Barons Club," Ellie quickly said, trying to smooth over Clayton's comment, knowing her husband was gearing up for a fight. "That's all."

"I didn't even think to read the paper this morning ..." Sue Ellen remarked before Clayton interrupted her.

"You two couldn't even wait a day or two until after Cally was gone before you were out celebrating?" Clayton impatiently asked.

"Clayton, that's enough!" Ellie strongly intervened. "You have been on a slow boil since Cally left the ranch yesterday even though none of this is your concern!"

"The hell it isn't my concern!" He uncharacteristically snapped at his wife. "What goes on at this ranch is my concern, whether your son likes it or not!"

"No ... stop!" Sue Ellen shouted, verbally overpowering them as they both looked over at her surprising show of force. "Please don't do this," she pleaded once she had their attention. "Don't argue about us. Not now ... not ever again." After a moment, she attempted to explain herself. "J.R. and I have caused enough damage in the past, to ourselves and everyone around us. But it's got to stop ... now ... today." She looked up at Clayton. "Clayton, I know you don't approve ..."

"How can I approve, Sue Ellen?" He quickly asked, cutting her off as he tried to reason with her. "It's emotional suicide, you being with J.R. It always has been and it always will be!"

"I agree," Sue Ellen surprisingly concurred with him. "And I'm not stupid enough to have some fairy tale belief that he will be any different this time. But after a year of choking on nothing but rage and bitterness …"

"Because of J.R.!" He said, cutting her off again.

"Yes, because of J.R.!" Sue Ellen agreed again. "That's why we've got to put an end to it!" She sighed heavily and her words slowed, revealing just how mentally exhausted she was even as she tried again to explain herself. "The only way I know how to do that is to make peace with the one thing that has been causing me the most heartache ... J.R. Maybe it doesn't seem right or make sense to anyone but me. I certainly didn't want it in the papers. But this truce of ours just might be working."

Before she could explain further, Clayton tried to reason with her again. "But what about Cally? I know J.R. doesn't care about the girl but you, of all people ..."

"I, of all people, know just what Cally is going through," Sue Ellen quickly countered. She studied Clayton for a moment and met his disapproving glare with a resolute one of her own. "Cally and I actually spoke yesterday before she left town and we parted on peaceful terms, did you know that?"

Clayton was clearly surprised by the news but simply shook his head as he replied. "No."

"Then to answer your question … yes. I do care about Cally and what this has done to her. I told her so. And no, J.R. and I were not out last night celebrating that she was gone, although I will admit that going out so soon might have been a little thoughtless." She paused and her expression sharpened. "But I will not make excuses or apologize for it."

Even though he was impressed by the calm straightforwardness Sue Ellen now seemed to possess, Clayton continued to attempt to reason with her.

"Doesn't it even bother you that less that two weeks ago, J.R. was only minutes away from marrying Cally?"

"Of course, it bothers me," Sue Ellen honestly replied. "It also bothers me that if I hadn't interfered by getting her to tell him she was pregnant, he probably wouldn't have offered to marry her in the first place. But even though Cally is a sweet girl who should have never been mixed up with the likes of J.R. and I, she is also an adult and very capable of making up her mind. Which she did yesterday when she decided to leave this town with a great deal of courage and dignity in spite of everything. And believe it or not, J.R. does care what happens to her, too, and she will be well taken care of. You have my word on that."

"All right then, I'll give you that," Clayton stoically replied while still refusing to give up on trying to reason with her. "But I still think this will end up just like it always does ... a disaster for the both of you and anyone who stands in your way."

His words stung as an image of Nicholas flashed into Sue Ellen's mind. She knew all too well how much harm she and J.R. could do. Cally was just their latest victim. But before she could reply to Clayton, Ellie, who had been closely watching Sue Ellen, interjected her disagreement with her husband.

"No, Clayton," the older lady replied, carefully choosing her words, "I think this time is different. Isn't it, Sue Ellen?"

"Oh, there is a huge difference now, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen replied, relieved that someone might actually be trying to understand her. "I'm with J.R. now because I want to be, not because I need to be. I don't need the title of being Mrs. J.R. Ewing anymore. I don't need his money. And I especially don't need the approval of my mother and my so-called friends from Dallas society just because I'm married to one of the richest, most powerful men in Texas." She looked back at Clayton. "All superficial, self-serving motives that caused harm to me and so many others. But not any more. Never again."

"That's what I've been trying to get at, Sue Ellen," Clayton sincerely offered, his anger dissolving. "You have so much to offer when J.R. is out of your life. Why not go out and find a man you can settle down with and really love and who will love you back?"

Sue Ellen couldn't help but smile ironically at his statement. "You mean, find a relationship like you have with Miss Ellie?"

"Yes!" He excitedly exclaimed, pleased he might actually be making some progress with her.

"What you two have is so very rare," Sue Ellen wistfully replied, taking a deep breath as she tried to control the flood of emotions she now seemed swamped in. "I don't think I'll ever have that, especially not with J.R. But what I do have with J.R. is an indescribable bond that for God knows what reason was electrified by a tornado that beat the hell out of us but also yanked us out of the destructive ruts we were mired in." Then an amazing thought occurred to her and she said it aloud. "And maybe even somehow healed us in the process."

She stopped and shrugged her shoulders, looking back into Clayton's eyes. Was it even possible to explain it to him? Or to herself? She had to try.

"I know it sounds crazy," she continued. "It has certainly felt crazy living it the past few days. But you've got to understand that I've chosen to have J.R. in my life to find some peace. Finally. And I truly believe we are starting to do just that. He's even meeting me halfway, which he would never do before. But even if it doesn't work out between the two of us, at least from now on John Ross will know that we not only love him unconditionally but that we are also capable of behaving like rational adults who can at least be in the same room together. So, for right now, the three of us are going to just enjoy this time together ... for however long it lasts ... with no more fears and doubts and anger from the past because I want our son to have some happy memories of his parents. He deserves that. And even if you don't agree with the way we're going about it, I hope you will at least not fight us anymore because we really are going to try and make this work."

Finally, Clayton was speechless and a silence fell between the three.

Miss Ellie felt a surge of pride at her former daughter-in-law's words. She had seen Sue Ellen change so much over the years, mostly in destructive ways as she watched her either desperately try to hang on to J.R. or flat out try to destroy him. Yet despite it all, Sue Ellen had obviously won. The simpering, alcoholic trophy-wife was gone and in her place stood a woman of hard-won maturity and determined purpose who was obviously now in complete control of her life, even a force to be reckoned with. And maybe ... just maybe ... her oldest son had finally met his match in the woman who had always been at his side but had finally found her true potential.

Without another thought, Ellie quickly closed the space between them and enveloped Sue Ellen in a powerful embrace, communicating her pride through the most honest way she knew how. And Sue Ellen instantly understood, having seen Miss Ellie grant the same kind of embrace on Pamela so many times. She had always so envied Pamela for it. But now it was her turn to experience this rare display of approval from the lady she greatly admired, it meant even more.

Ellie soon stepped back and cupped Sue Ellen's face in her hands. "Being a Ewing isn't always about blood. Jock defined the name and made it legendary in this town by sheer will and the strength of his character, regardless of the money and oil. And that's the same kind of character that now seems to have surfaced in you, Sue Ellen." She broke into a wide grin. "So, give that son of mine hell!"

Sue Ellen softly laughed in relief then tightly hugged Miss Ellie again as the sentences she spoke truly sank in. At that moment, it was as though some of the things she had always craved in her life had finally become hers ... a sense of belonging, a sense of family, and most importantly, the love and pride of a mother. Miss Ellie had surely been more of a mother than her own had ever attempted to be.

"Thank you, Miss Ellie," Sue Ellen softly whispered, her vision blurring with unshed tears. "You are truly an amazing woman."

Ellie was both touched and slightly embarrassed by such a grand title as she reassuringly patted Sue Ellen on the back before pulling back from her once again.

"Not at all," the older lady replied with a sweet grin. "Just someone who is proud of how far you've come. Because we both know just how hard that road has been for you up to this point, don't we?"

Sue Ellen simply nodded, her voice temporarily failing her.

"Don't ever let go of this new-found strength, Sue Ellen," Ellie continued. "Not for anyone."

Sue Ellen nodded again and feeling more tears start to sting, she quickly dabbed her thumbs in the corner of her eyes. Sensing the need for a change of subject to relieve the emotions swirling around them, she diverted her attention to John Ross.

"Now," Sue Ellen said almost as a sigh before she smiled again. "Where is that son of mine? Can't believe how much I miss him when he's not around."

"Well, he's been good as gold, as always," Ellie grinned. "He's down at the foaling barn, helping take care of Sage's new colt."

"He always has taken after his grandma with the way he loves horses, hasn't he?" Sue Ellen said with a wink.

"And his mother, too," Ellie beamed.

"Come to think of it, I have missed being around horses," Sue Ellen remarked almost to herself.

"Sounds like that son of mine needs to get you both back into ranch life as soon as possible," Ellie hinted, recalling J.R.'s plans to buy the ranch across the way from Southfork.

"Yes, well ... maybe," Sue Ellen hesitated. "But that's a whole different discussion."

"Well, when you have a place," Ellie assured her, "the colt will go to John Ross. I've already promised it to him."

"He must be thrilled!" Sue Ellen paused for a moment and looked at the older woman. "Thank you, again, Miss Ellie. For everything."

Sue Ellen then looked back at Clayton and reached over to place her hand over his arm.

"And thank you, Clayton. I understand your concern and value it, I truly do. I just hope you'll trust me with this, just one more time. Because one way or the other, this is going to settle things between J.R. and me once and for all."

"Well then … like Ellie said," he reluctantly replied then smiled, "give 'em hell, Sue Ellen."

Sue Ellen gave him a hug, which he returned without hesitation, before she turned and headed for the foaling barn.

As Clayton and Ellie watched her go, Ellie looked up at her husband as she threaded her arm through his, pulling up against him.

"Clayton, I know Sue Ellen has always been special to you," she gently remarked. "You've always felt an understandable need to look out for her. I have, too. But it's time we let her find her own way." Then she smiled. "And from the sound of it, she's doing just fine."

"I hope you're right, Ellie," Clayton confirmed, squeezing her hand. "She does seem awful determined. And God help your son if he screws it up this time."

"Exactly."


	39. Chapter 39

Wild Is The Wind, Part 39

As Sue Ellen walked towards the stables, she was in awe once again at how the tornado had smashed the stables near the driveway to splinters, raining it down on top of J.R. and her, yet not more than 200 yards in either direction stood the family stables and the ranch house unscathed. So close, too close …

She shivered and mentally forced herself away from those thoughts and the terrifying places it took her, instead concentrating back on the stables in front of her. In contrast, it was a much happier place to be thinking about.

Out of all the stables on Southfork, it was her favorite. It was a shiny white row of connected buildings grouped near the house where all the family horses were kept. The close access and 24-hour staff of the best hands on the ranch made riding at any time of the day easy for the busy Ewings while also allowing Ellie to personally care for her favorites.

Horses were practically part of her genetic makeup. Her ancestors had been on horseback long before the Southworths settled in Texas. And her father had taught her from an early age both how to ride and care for her mounts at all stages of their life, especially for the foals. Because of that, the newborns had always held a special place in her heart.

No matter the circumstances, there were many risks for both the mare and foal during the delicate time of foaling. It required planning and hard work to get a strong, healthy foal on the ground. Because of that, Ellie had set up a separate, state-of-the-art foaling barn in the stable complex to make the ranch's foaling success rate as high as possible. And the thrill of watching the foals thrive and grow was always her greatest joy and payoff.

Stopping to admire the facility from the doorway, Sue Ellen marveled at how the entire operation was such a fine tribute to Miss Ellie's dedication. She was the one Ewing who didn't need anything to do with oil and was so much better for it. And having been away from horses, the Ewings, and Ewing Oil for so long, Sue Ellen could appreciate that about her mother-in-law even more.

She breathed in deeply, focusing back on her surroundings. There was such a unique smell about the stables. It was a combination of horse, fresh hay, leather, saddle soap, and herbal medicines that heightened her appreciation even as it stirred up memories of all the many times she had spent on horseback during her time at the ranch.

It had been so long since she had been on a horse and for so many reasons. Mostly because her new business ventures had kept her so busy in Dallas. But she could also now admit that riding had reminded her too much of Southfork and how much she missed the ranch. Being back at that moment, though, with so much resolved between her and J.R. and his mother, she now cherished the happier memories of riding.

She had never really owned a specific horse, instead chose to ride several of those available in the family stables because she enjoyed all their different personalities and moods. They could be so human-like at times. Some were beautiful with warm, pleasant dispositions that made riding easy. Others could be unattractively shallow and wild, making her have to think and work hard for a smooth ride and that left her exhausted afterward. But it was a good kind of tired. It was both powerful and empowering to simply be with a horse and riding was always one hell of a satisfying workout.

Funny how it was so similar to the current route her relationship with J.R. had taken. She had worked damn hard to find common ground with her ex-husband since the tornado. It would have been so easy to just give up on him and them. She certainly had reason to. But her reward had been some of the most peaceful, graceful moments she had ever experienced with him.

"Howdy, Mrs. Ewing," one the senior stable hands greeted her with a tip of his hat, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Great to see ya back again after the tornado. How you feelin'?"

"Thank you, Charlie," she replied, returning his greeting with a warm smile. "I'm feeling much better."

"Would ya like to do some ridin' today?"

"No, not today. But soon, I hope."

"It'd be great to have you back workin' with the horses. You're one of the best riders out here, right up there with Miss Ellie and Mr. Farlow."

"That's very kind of you, Charlie. And I have missed riding." Sue Ellen paused and thoughtfully looked around the barn. "The ranch seems to be getting back to normal. How are the horses doing? Did we lose any?"

"Nah, we were lucky. Besides all of 'em bein' pretty spooked by the storm, we only had a couple that kinda got beat up. But nothin' too bad, mostly just scratches and nicks."

"Same with me," she halfway smiled as she touched her face where light traces of her scratches from the tornado remained.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied with smile of his own, understanding her meaning. "Sure glad you and Mr. Ewing are back on your feet."

"Be sure and give all the hands our thanks," Sue Ellen added, warmly placing her hand on the man's arm. "We would've really been in trouble that day without all of you working so fast to get us out of the storm cellar."

"We were glad to help, ma'am," he replied with another tip of his hat. "And I'll be sure and tell the rest of the boys." He was about to return to his duties before another thought crossed his mind. "By the way, your son is sure takin' after you and his grandma. He's got a real natural touch with the horses and our newest little foal has sure takin' a likin' to him."

"That's great to hear," Sue Ellen proudly replied. "I'm actually here to see him. Is he still here?"

"He's never too far away," the old hand chuckled then pointed down across the barn. "They're over in Stable 2."

"Is Sage ready for company?" Sue Ellen warily asked, remembering how skittish some mares were with their newborns.

"She sure is and actin' mighty proud of her new little one," Charlie nodded. "Feel free to go on over. Besides, she's the only mare in here right now since she was a little early so that makes her the queen of the castle."

"Thanks again, Charlie" Sue Ellen called out over her shoulder as they parted.

She carefully approached the stable and was both instantly fascinated and fearful, seeing John Ross sitting cross-legged in a corner of the stall, cradling the foal's head. He was in such a vulnerable position being so close to the mare's powerful hooves. Her fears were quickly eased, though, as she watched John Ross with the spindly-legged baby, quietly talking to it as his voice fell in rhythm with the gentle strokes of his hand against the foal's head and mane.

The foal looked so much like his mother. He had Sage's large, soulfully dark eyes that matched his mane and tail and his coat was her brownish-red chestnut that shimmered under the barn's soft lighting, making him look like he was made of fine European chocolate.

Sage lovingly bent down to nuzzle both her baby and the boy holding him when she sensed a newcomer by scent and movement. Quickly raising her head, Sage instantly recognized Sue Ellen and clopped over to the gate with a soft, shuffling whinny to greet her.

"Hello, Sage," Sue Ellen gently said, grateful for the greeting as she reached out to stroke the horse's muzzle. They had ridden together many times and the horse had always been one of Sue Ellen's favorite.

Hearing his mother's voice, John Ross looked up at her and grinned. "Hi, Mamma," he quietly said.

"Hi, sweetheart," she softly replied. "Your grandma told me I'd find you down here with Sage and the new foal. How's he doing?"

"He's doing awesome!" John Ross answered back as quietly as possible while still expressing his excitement. "I wasn't in here when he was born 'cause Grandma says it's better to let the mare birth alone. But that's why she's got cameras in the vet's office, so we could be close by in case the mare or the baby needed us. And he did need us. He wouldn't stand up when he was first born like he was supposed to. The vet told Grandma he had a bad infection … Septa … Septasomething."

"Septicaemia?"

"Yeah, that's it! So, the vet gave him some medicine and said he'd only know if foal was going to be okay if he made it though the first few hours and started to nurse. And he did, Mamma! He did make it! Just look at him!"

"He's beautiful!" Sue Ellen agreed, delighted by her son's excitement and enthusiasm.

"Grandma says it's usually better to wait a few days before you can go in the stall and spend time with the foal," John Ross continued. "But since he was so sick, she wanted someone in here to help Sage with the baby." He grinned up at Sue Ellen. "And she picked me to help the foaling groom, Mom! Me!"

"Well, its no wonder," Sue Ellen beamed, very impressed by both his mature demeanor and grasp of the medical needs of a new foal. "Your grandma is right! Just watching you with him, I can tell you are becoming quite a horseman."

"I sure do love being here with him and Sage," John Ross replied.

"One of the things I love about horses is how smart they are and how they remember things," Sue Ellen added. "This little colt will never forget you've been here during his first few days."

"I hope so. And I hope he keeps getting stronger and stronger." John Ross then beckoned her closer. "C'mon in and see him, Mom!"

"No, I think I'll just wait out here and watch," she gently disagreed as she stroked Sage's muzzle again. "With Sage being a new mamma, it might be easier on her if we don't overwhelm her with too many people near the baby just yet."

As if the mare understood, Sage gently nuzzled the soft velvet tip of her nose against Sue Ellen's arm and softly whinnied again.

"See, Sage doesn't mind, Mom," John Ross remarked with a knowing smile. "She remembers you … I knew she would. I've been telling her all about you, why you've been gone so much and that you'd probably be here today."

"Sage always was a good listener," Sue Ellen said as she stroked the horse's muzzle once more then looked over at her son. "So, what have you been telling her about me?"

"Oh, you know," John Ross replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "Stuff about your new companies and you living in Dallas now. The way she is nuzzling you, looks like she's missed you."

Sue Ellen looked back at the horse and lovingly rubbed her muzzle again. Her vision momentarily blurred with tears at her son's words that echoed her thoughts from when she first entered the barn. He always had been so intuitive, it was no wonder he was now so good with the horses.

"Well, Sage and I have a lot in common, especially now," Sue Ellen softly replied as she continued to rub the horse. "We have two beautiful sons we're proud of."

John Ross nodded and looked up at his mother while she concentrated on Sage. As he studied her expression, she somehow seemed lighter … younger. The darkness that had clouded her pretty features the past year had finally faded and she looked like his mom again. When she smiled and lightly laughed as Sage nuzzled her again, it made him smile, too.

Sue Ellen looked over at John Ross and caught the intrigued, happy look on his face before he shyly looked back to the colt.

"John Ross," she softly called out to him. "Is there something on your mind, sweetheart?"

"Nah," he bashfully replied, still smiling before he looked back up at her. "You just look … different … good … happy."

Sue Ellen returned his smile and nodded. "Well … I kinda feel that way, too. I love being here with you and back with Sage."

"Is it maybe the time you've been spending with Dad, too?" He perceptively asked.

"Surprisingly, yes," she answered without hesitation.

John Ross knowingly nodded. "I thought maybe it was. Even as mad as you two have been with each other, you just seem … I don't know … easier going lately, kinda like horses get when they are settled."

Sue Ellen marveled at her son. "John Ross, someone once said that horses and children have all the good sense there is in the world. You're the perfect example of that, sweetheart. You're not only becoming a good horseman, you're also becoming a wonderful human being. That's quite an accomplishment for someone your age."

"Nah, I don't know about that," John Ross said with another shy smile as he shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the foal again. "It just makes me happy to see you and Dad happy, that's all."

"Well, you deserve to be happy, too, after what you've been through … what we've put you through," Sue Ellen said with a smile that slowly faded as she considered her son a little longer. "We might have messed up a lot of other stuff, but not you, John Ross. You are the best thing that happened to both of us, the best thing that happened because we got together. Don't ever forget that, sweetheart."

He smiled and nodded then added something else. "You know, Mamma … as scary as the tornado was, it's kinda like it gave you and Dad and me a new start. And I sure like us being together again." He looked down at the foal again. "For a long time, I thought I wasn't doing enough to help you and Dad be happy. Because I knew there was something wrong between the two of you but I could never figure it out."

"I hope you know now it was never, ever about you."

"I do."

"Your father and I," she started then hesitated, trying to find the way to explain it to him. "Most of the time we've been together, we have been crippled up by not knowing how to talk to each other … really talk to each other. But now it feels like I've finally found the best way to deal with your father is to be honest with him. Brutally honest, in spite of the way he might react. And it seems to be working so far. He's been listening to me the past few days, like he never has before. So, I think that's a good start. How about you?"

"I think it's great start," John Ross agreed. "Just please keep talking to me, too. If something is wrong, promise to tell me so I can understand it. Maybe I can even help you."

"No doubt you could. You always do." She paused. "My God, John Ross … you have been so incredibly brave your whole young life. I can't imagine how scary it's been, with what you've been through. But I hope you'll always know from now on that no matter what happens with your father and me, we will always love you and nothing will ever change that."

John Ross thought about it then smiled. "Does that means we can keep spending time together? I've really loved being with you and Dad since the tornado."

"Well, speaking of that, your father and I would love to spend some time with you today. Just the three of us. That's why I came out here. Would you like to do that?"

"Are you kidding, I'd love it!" He excitedly replied. Then he looked back down at the foal and his mood fell. "But I kinda don't want to leave the foal right now, either. He's still not a hundred percent."

"Then you don't have to leave him," Sue Ellen reassured him with the smile. "This day is for you and your father and I will do anything you want to do. Besides, I would love to have him see you with the foal and Sage."

"Is Dad here?" John Ross asked, looking past her and around the barn.

"He should be. I'm expecting him to show up any minute. Tell you what, I'll go walk back to the house and see if he is here then I'll bring him back to the barn if he is. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great, Mom!" John Ross grinned. "Thanks."

"No, thank you, sweetheart. This really has been a treat, being out here with you." The horse nuzzled her arm again and Sue Ellen softly laughed. "And you, Sage. You have a beautiful baby." She stroked Sage's muzzle one more time then carefully backed away from the stable. "I'll see you both soon."

"Mamma," John Ross called after her, "if you see Grandma, will you tell her the foal is doing better?"

"I sure will. See you soon!"

"Bye!"

John Ross watched his mother walk away until he couldn't see her any longer. Then he looked back down at the foal. Being with the baby had made him feel so good, so happy, and having his Grandma pick him to help with the foal had been one of the proudest moments of his life. He had already decided to work as hard as he could and learn as much as possible to make her proud of him. Now it was turning out he was making his mother and maybe even his father proud, too.

That thought made him smile and he loving stroked the foal again.

"I'm so glad Sage had you," John Ross whispered to the baby. "Seems like you and the tornado have made the past year a whole lot better. 'Cause it's been terrible, worrying about my mom and dad." He paused as he thought about his parents the past few days and the conversation he had just had with his mother. He smiled again. "They seem to be doing so much better, just like you. And I'm going to do every I can to make sure you and them are gonna be okay from now on."


	40. Chapter 40

Wild Is The Wind, Part 40

Despite how good she was feeling from her time with John Ross, Sue Ellen couldn't avoid the sense of dread nagging at her as she made her way back to the house. Looking over in the direction of the storm cellar, she knew she had to face it. She couldn't put it off any longer.

The memories of those terrifying moments during the tornado were still so vivid, making her desperately want to avoid the storm cellar like she had on the way to the foaling barn. But that had been a cowardly choice and she knew it. She no longer ran from things. Running was what she did in the past, usually ending up running in circles, getting nowhere. What a waste of time that had been.

Pushing herself to get closer, the dark, gaping hole soon appeared. Yet even though the storm cellar had no roof, there were obvious signs of repairs. It was being fixed so it might someday save someone else if nature was cruel enough to send another storm like that their way. But it didn't help the fear gripping her stomach at seeing it again.

Stopping at the edge, the tips of her boots knocked a little dirt down into the darkness where it disappeared, making another spike of fear run down her spine. Even though she was surrounded by a calm day with birds peacefully twittering in the distance, all she could hear was the deafening memory of the way the tornado howled.

The words she had told Clayton earlier suddenly flashed into her mind … "for right now, the three of us are going to just enjoy this time together ... for however long it lasts."

Despite the terror and destruction, the storm had given her a new start, maybe even a chance to make a difference this time around. And looking down into the darkness once again, she wondered what was more terrifying, the tornado or having been hurtled back to J.R.

She had suspected God put her in the middle of the tornado's chaos with J.R. to either finish them off or finally heal them. She still wasn't sure which way they would end up. But despite it all, a sense of gratitude for the new beginning did settle over her, finally overcoming her fear.

A soft breeze came up and ruffled her hair, making her shiver again despite the warm sunshine. But she welcomed the fresh air, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply as she at last calmed her racing heart and banished her fears once and for all.

She had faced the storm cellar and survived … again. It was no longer something terrifying to be avoided. It had simply become a mark in the ground that signified where she had picked up what was left of her life and started over.

Without warning, she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her heart race again as all of her muscles immediately tensed. Was it possible J.R. could be there now as she stood on the edge of both the storm cellar and her future? Had he somehow been sent to her at that moment when she needed him most?

She turned around and looked up into his eyes. They were as blue as the sky behind him and paired with kindest expression she had ever seen on him.

"You okay, darlin'?" J.R. softly drawled as he carefully studied her for signs of distress.

"I can't believe you're here," she unsteadily replied as she fell into the embrace he offered. She wrapped her arms around him and hung on as though she were back in the tornado.

J.R. felt the urgency in her, revealing just how much she needed him at that moment, as though she never wanted to let go. And somehow he understood, even felt the same kind of need as he looked down over her shoulder into the darkness of the storm cellar that had saved their lives. Closing his eyes, he placed his hand on the back of her head and held her tighter against him, hoping to make them both feel safe once more.

"Don't let go of me," she murmured against his chest as she relaxed into the warmth and comfort of his strength. "Please, don't let go of me."

Hearing her plea, J.R. felt an unaccustomed sting of tears in his eyes as a strange feeling started in the pit of his stomach and radiated outward. It was a feeling of ownership he had never experienced before. Not that he would ever own the stunning, headstrong woman in his arms even if she would let him, which he knew she never would again. No, the feeling was more like that of tremendous responsibility, of having something of great worth, something that should be valued and prized above all others.

He had been catered to all his life, been given anything he wanted, when he wanted it. Money was no object. But at that moment, the only thing that had ever mattered so much, besides the day he found out John Ross was truly his, was holding Sue Ellen.

"I won't ever let you go again, Sue Ellen," he whispered against her hair before he kissed the top of her head then laid his cheek against it. "Never again."

His priorities had changed so much in the short time since he woke up in the hospital bed after the tornado. He knew part of it had to be the quiet, complete exhaustion that had snuck up on him and overtaken his soul. It had shifted his appetites, made him crave the quality of the moment instead of the quantity of what he could get. And damn, hadn't the moments with Sue Ellen since the tornado been good. The best of his life, actually. Nearly addictive to the point where he now found himself craving more of those moments with her and her alone.

It was so much more than the sex. It was the closeness he had found with her, like right now, where he could simply hold her unconditionally. And by the way she was returning his embrace, she had to feel the same way. She never had been able to fake her reactions.

Feeling her sigh against his chest, J.R. finally spoke. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Sue Ellen replied with a nod, sniffing back the tears that were suddenly filling her eyes. "Being here at the storm cellar again … it was just a little more overwhelming than I thought it would be."

"You're right," he somberly replied as he looked down once again into the dark hole behind her. "You should have waited for me. Sorry I was late."

"No, its okay," she said as she pulled back just enough to look up at him. Then she managed a smile. "You're here now and didn't forget about me."

"There's no chance in hell I'd ever forget about you," he slyly grinned.

Needing to mentally coax her back to him and away from the darkness of the storm cellar, J.R. reached up to cup her face in his hands before bringing her closer into a kiss. Soon he was enticing her to kiss him back, which she easily gave into.

The kiss reaffirmed so much between them once again. The passion was there as it always was, simmering so close to the surface and readily available by just a look or a touch. But it was also the way they now complimented and completed each other, mutually accepting each other despite everything, showing off how obvious it was they were so much better together than apart.

"This is a hell of a time to be out in the open," J.R. breathlessly said as the need to breath soon outweighed the need for their connection.

"I'm beginning to think you're insatiable," she replied with a soft laugh.

"When it comes to you, there's no doubt about it," he grinned as he considered kissing her again before deciding it would be better to save it for later.

Sue Ellen tipped her head down to rest against his chest again as she looked down into the darkness of the cellar one more time. What a switch to now be so safely in J.R.'s arms when that day she had been running from him as hard as she could.

"We made it, darlin'," he softly reassured her.

"Yes, we did," she confirmed with a nod then looked up at him again and smiled. "I talked to your mother and Clayton when I first got here. She seems to want us together."

"That doesn't surprise me," he grinned. "But what about my stepdaddy? He seemed a little subdued when I saw them." He tipped his head and studied her. "Did you have somethin' to do with that?"

She nodded. "I just asked him to give you and I a chance to settle things between us. Although he wasn't happy we made the paper this morning. Did you know about that?"

"Not 'til I saw it. "

"Think it was Marilee?"

"I wouldn't put it past her. She never could keep her big mouth shut." He shrugged. "Could have been anyone, though. We turn heads wherever we go … people see us together and are impressed as hell. That's why it ended up in the paper."

"They are just surprised we haven't killed each other yet."

"Maybe so," J.R. chuckled. "But I'm just glad the news is out. 'Cause the past few days, we've been makin' each other a whole lot more happy than miserable. And I plan to keep that goin'."

Sue Ellen felt a seductive surge of power and pride at his words. The man before her was so unlike the J.R. she had known and despised for so long. He should well be on his way to becoming bored with her and eyeing his next conquest. But she was secretly pleased she did still have his complete attention.

"Come on, let's get out of here," she acknowledged him with a smile, the fear of facing the storm cellar again now behind them. "I want to take you down to the foaling barn so you can see John Ross with Sage's foal."

"Mamma was telling me how impressed she is with him," J.R. answered back, his expression lighting up at the mention of their son. "She said he's turnin' into quite a horseman."

"Yes, he is," Sue Ellen responded, taking his arm to lead him. "He has developed an incredible bond with the horses."

As they fell into step side by side, J.R. reached out to take her hand in his. Sue Ellen was nicely surprised when he slipped his long fingers through hers, lacing their hands together in a more intimate way, giving them both as much contact as possible. When her fingers settled against his, though, she felt an unexpected resistance and raised his hand to find the problem.

Feeling her steps slow then stop completely, J.R. looked over and found her seemingly lost in thought as she examined his hand. He inwardly winced, suddenly anxious at how she would react to his wedding ring being back on his finger.

Seeing the gold band had instantly taken Sue Ellen back in time. She clearly recalled the day she had picked out the ring after having looked in nearly every jewelry store from Austin to Dallas. Then there was the moment she had slipped the ring on his finger after they exchanged vows for the first time. But the painful recollection soon followed of the morning when she noticed he was no longer wearing the ring, during the time she was still fighting the depression that had overwhelmed her after John Ross was born.

Her throat constricted tightly as she fought the urge to cry. When she suddenly released his hand as though his touch burned her, her expression became a dark, unreadable storm of emotions. It was not the reaction J.R. had hoped for.

"Sue Ellen, let me explain," he carefully said.

"You shouldn't be wearing that," she quickly interrupted him, unable to look up at him.

"No, I should've never taken it off," he quickly countered.

"Don't do this, J.R.," she quietly pleaded.

"You're still wearin' my rings, honey," he gently reasoned. "Tell me why me wearin' mine would bother you."

Finally she looked up at him and the tears that pooled in her eyes cut into his heart like daggers.

"Because it's not the same!" She resentfully exclaimed. "I never took mine off!" She stopped and held her hand up to her mouth, taking a staggered breath as she tried to calm the emotions swamping her. "Why wear it now, J.R.? There is no reason to use me like that."

"Use you?" J.R. was genuinely stunned by the implication. "Is that what you think I'm doin'?" Her silenced confirmed it. "Why in the world would you think I was usin' you when things are goin' so good between us?"

"That's what I don't understand," she replied, angrily swiping tears off her cheeks. "I've met you half way since the tornado and given us a chance even though I'm still not sure how it will turn out. I even promised your mother and Clayton I would, and our son."

"I know," he gently replied, trying to calm her. "And the past few days have meant the world to me, you know that."

"It's just that seeing you wear your ring again," Sue Ellen tried to explain then hesitated before she continued. "It brings up so many things I've wanted to forget. You worked so hard courting me, making me fall in love with you so I would marry you. Then at the first sign of another skirt, you were gone." She drew back from him and turned away, unable to face him as she angrily asked the questions that had been simmering inside her for years. "Was having a trophy wife really that important to you, J.R.? Someone you could just keep in her place until it was time for dinner and a good show for your parents?"

He flinched at the harsh truthfulness of her words. "Don't say that."

"Why not?" She asked as she turned back to him with such ferocity he flinched again. "It's for damn sure your vows didn't mean anything to you when you put that ring on!"

"Okay, okay," he replied, holding up his hands to signal defeat, hoping to make her stop. "Maybe I deserve that 'cause I will admit … no one prepared me for you. You were so different than the other girls I knew, made me feel things I've never felt before. I just didn't have a clue how to express it or even let you in enough to share it with you."

"You hardly touched me those first few years we were married," she said as though she were far away.

He shrugged his shoulders in defeat and finally admitted what he'd known all along but never dared think. "I was always wonderin' if I could live up to your expectations … and mine. So, that's why I quit you. Runnin' sure seemed easier than facin' up to that."

"Hearing you admit to what I've known all along," she sadly agreed with his admission. "It should feel like a victory." She wearily sighed. "But I don't want to be right any more. It hurts too much."

"I know it does," J.R. reluctantly agreed as he mentally chastised himself for dragging her through yet another postmortem of their past. "Sue Ellen," he cautiously tried again, "me wearin' this ring again means I've finally wised up. It's one hell of a good reminder of what I've got with you now and that I should'a been lovin' you all along."

She remained silent and it worried J.R., making him wonder if being so honest with her had been a mistake. He mentally searched for a way to get them out of the emotional minefield he had unintentionally dragged them both into. And for a brief moment, he wished the ring was back in the safety deposit box.

"Guess I should have gotten a tattoo instead," he muttered to himself, frustrated that he could think of no way around the fix he was in.

"What?" Sue Ellen asked, not sure she had heard him right.

Surprised she heard him, J.R. realized the absurdity of his thought just might be his way out.

"You know, a tattoo," he said, making a circle with his fingers and holding it over his forearm. "Maybe one with your name in a big red heart on my arm?" Then he moved his circled fingers over his chest. "Or how 'bout on my chest, over my heart?"

She looked at him for a long moment, trying to figure out if he had lost his mind or if he had finally developed a sense of humor. Was that even possible?

"Try the other side, about two feet lower," she replied guardedly, hoping it was humor. "That's where you seem to give me the most trouble."

Her sarcastic reply amazed J.R. Using humor had worked. And although he was secretly pleased by her comment, he feigned shock.

"Now what kinda talk is that for a lady?" He indignantly asked while trying to repress a grin.

"Good lord, J.R. … a lady?" She replied, equally indignant yet reluctantly amused by the turn of their conversation. "After some of the paths you've led me down, you don't really still think of me as a lady, do you?"

"Both your mamma and mine would expect nothin' less," he answered back and slowly smiled. "Besides, as long as you're the mother of my son, you'll be a lady." Then he decided to push it a little farther, needing to see if her mood really was getting better as he playfully rubbed his jaw. "Even if you did knock me on my ass at the Oil Barons Ball."

At that, Sue Ellen finally laughed and J.R. was elated, knowing he had won her back.

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Not a chance," he arrogantly grinned. "That was quite a moment for me. There you were, strollin' up in that skin-tight black lace dress that left little to the imagination as far as I was concerned." His eyes slowly swept down her as though she was still wearing the dress as he continued. "And gave me a few ideas I best not repeat." His eyes raised and met hers again, reeling her in with the depth of desire she found there. "Then WHAM! I was lookin' up at you from the floor."

She defiantly folded her arms across her chest. "You deserved it."

"Well, it just proved to me all over again what I've always known 'bout Texas ladies. They are all velvet, lace, and steel ... a breed apart from the rest." He paused to lovingly size her up again. "And damn, don't I love you for it."

"Damn you," she quietly remarked, shaking her head in disbelief at his ability to still charm her. Then she wearily sighed, shaking off what was left of her anger while also acknowledging the reason for her reaction. "There has been so much pain loving you, J.R. I can't just say, 'okay, all is forgiven, lets live happily ever after.'"

"I know that, darlin' … I really do," he replied, the seriousness returning to his tone. "I've given you so many reasons not to trust me. But me wearin' this ring … your ring … it's gotta be a start. Because I do love you, Sue Ellen. Better yet, I know how to love you now. And all I wanna do is show you, honey."

She carefully looked at him, looked for any sign he was lying to her. But his expression was as genuine as the words he had just used.

"I do seem to be stuck with you," she reluctantly replied. "God knows I wouldn't wish either one of us on anyone else. We are too screwed up to make anyone else happy."

That was the glimmer of hope J.R. had been wishing for and he smiled. "Well then, let's make each other happy."

Sue Ellen stared hard at him for what seemed like a lifetime before she drew closer to him. Taking his face in her hands, she brought him down and kissed him intently, wanting him to know just how much what he said had meant to her and that him wearing her ring was important to her. It was impossible for J.R. to let the kiss be one-sided, though, as he smiled and deepened it.

The slow, lingering kiss lasted several moments before he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, letting their accelerated breathing mingle in sync as an unusual combination of tenderness and exhaustion overcame him. He briefly wondered if he would ever again be able to shake off the tiredness left over from the concussion or if it was simply the amazing aftershocks of the woman in his arms who had totally captivated him.

"Damn, woman," he sighed. "That just proves my point. You've been part of my life for all these years but I still can't seem to get enough of you. Even with you standin' right here in my arms."

"Is that a good thing?" She teasingly asked, her breath against his lips making a shiver run down his spine again.

"Oh, it's a very good thing," he grinned in his uniquely naughty way before he turned serious again. "And I promise, I'm gonna give you everything I got from now on. When I'm 95 and sittin' out on the patio watchin' the sunset for the millionth time, I want you right there sittin' next to me, watchin' it, too."

As thrilling as the kiss and his words were, the most exciting part of it was the content look in his expression that was reflected in his eyes. It was a look Sue Ellen had never seen on him before the tornado but one she was beginning to recognize after spending the past few peaceful days with him. And she was grateful it was so different from the calculating coldness she was so used to.

"I swear," she softly exclaimed. "I'm going to wake up any minute now just like Dorothy did after her tornado and find out this has all been a dream." She lovingly ran her fingers down the lapel of his jacket as she continued. "You can't possibly be the rotten bastard I've been fighting off for so long."

"Oh, yes I can," he grinned wickedly and gestured over at the old stable across the paddock with a tip of his head. "Why don't you c'mon up in the hayloft with me over there and I'll show you?"

"Is that where you took your victims when you were a teenager?" She playfully replied.

"Only the ones I really liked," he answered back as he took her by the hand and started to pull her towards the stable.

Realizing he was being serious, Sue Ellen tried to resist and pull away from him before his grip overpowered her.

"J.R., are you crazy!" She shouted at him when she found she had no choice but to follow him. "We're too old for this!"

"The hell we are! I just wanna show you I'm still all for foolin' around." Then he abruptly stopped and looked back at her and grinned. "Thing is, I only wanna fool around with you."

Before she could protest again, he quickly bent down to place his uninjured shoulder against her abdomen then wrapped his arm around the back of her legs and raised her up, lifting her over his shoulder with ease.

"J.R., put me down!" She shrieked, both terrified and thrilled by the swift, unexpectedly undignified position she was now in.

She floundered across his back, realizing she had forgotten how strong he was since he rarely demonstrated it, purposefully choosing to use his brain to make his point instead of his muscles like the rest of the Ewing men did. But he had definitely put his height and broad shoulders to use at that moment as she found herself totally at his mercy.

J.R. laughed and lightly swatted her, making her burst into a fit of laughter at how ridiculous they must look. Then she lightly slapped his back and repeated her plea.

"Put me down!"

Hearing her laugh was the reward J.R. had been hoping for. As he gently lowered her back to the ground, he purposefully slid back to his full height against her, keeping her as close as possible before he stopped to steal a quick kiss.

"When exactly did you develop this silly-ass sense of humor?" She breathlessly asked.

"Guess when you get knocked on your ass by a tornado, you can either laugh or cry," he responded. "I kinda like laughin' now. How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, I like it … a lot," she said, wondering at him. Then her eyes darkened as her tone became sultry. "Along with several other things you've been doing lately."

"Oh, honey … you ain't seen nothin' yet."

The seductive tone of his voice instantly drew her back to him and they were about to kiss when an amused voice came from near the stables, interrupting them.

"Nice to see you two having some fun."

Sue Ellen and J.R. quickly turned to see John Ross approaching them and laughing.

"You saw that?" Sue Ellen asked when he was close enough.

"I did," John Ross grinned. "I was just waiting to see where Dad was gonna take you."

Sue Ellen blushed and covered her eyes then began to laugh, too. "Were you also wondering if your parents had lost their minds?"

"Nah!" John Ross giggled again. "It's fun seeing you two so happy."

"Just keepin' your mamma off-balance, son," J.R. proudly grinned before he looked down at Sue Ellen and winked.

As if on reflex, she swatted his chest with the back of her hand. "I'm beginning to think you're the one off-balance."

"Nah, just crazy about you," he grinned back as he slipped his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer and kiss her cheek.

John Ross happily stood in awe at their exchange. He had rarely seen them laugh together and had never seen them tease each other like this. It was so similar to the way he had seen Bobby and Pam act when they were married, the way he always wanted his parents to be.

Turning from Sue Ellen, J.R. looked down at John Ross and smiled. "Your grandma and mamma have been tellin' me all about the new foal, son. How 'bout showin' him to me?"

"Yes, sir!" He excitedly replied he took off on a run to meet them at the foaling barn.

J.R. kept his arm around Sue Ellen's shoulder as they followed their son. Soon, she reached up to place her hand over his.

"About the ring," she started then glanced up at J.R. "You win … this time."

"I knew I would." He softly chuckled and placed a light, quick kiss on the corner of her eye. Then he raised his left hand out in front of them. "C'mon … admit it. This ring looks good on me. Damn good."

Even though Sue Ellen knew he was teasing her with the gesture, she did consider his hand. And he was right. The ring did look good on him. It was just the depth of what him wearing it again meant that she was still trying to comprehend. Every difficulty they had faced since the tornado had drawn them closer together, made their connection even stronger. Had all their sorrow and pain before the tornado actually been worth surviving to reach this point? She mentally released the thought. It was something to consider later because at that moment, the way it felt to just be with him like this felt too good to resist any longer.

"Yes, it does," she finally replied with a nod.


	41. Chapter 41

Wild Is The Wind, Part 41

True to their word, J.R. and Sue Ellen let John Ross choose how he wanted to spend the day. And even though the boy chose to stay with the new foal, they stayed with him at the foaling barn, just to be together.

The simple, unexpectedly sweet moments with the boy revealed a great deal about him to his father. After all J.R. had been through the past year with losing Ewing Oil and Sue Ellen then the Haleyville fiasco and Cally taking up most of his time, this had been his first chance to really talk to his son and get to know him again, even sharing some laughter with him and his mother.

Regrets had never been a priority in J.R.'s life. He'd never had time for them, always figuring there was no going back once a decision was made, right or wrong. But letting the past year so easily slip away with such little connection to John Ross and Sue Ellen suddenly seemed like such a huge waste. Especially with John Ross, who was changing almost daily, growing up so fast that J.R. felt like if he didn't take this time to be with his son, he might miss out on knowing him completely.

At least he'd been given that chance.

Looking down at Sue Ellen as she stood at his side, he felt a deep sense of gratitude. She was the woman who had given him his son and heir despite incredible odds. She was also the one giving him this new chance to make them a family again. J.R. reached across to slip his arm around her back and gently wrapped his fingers around her neck to pull her closer.

"Thank you," he said as he placed a kiss at her temple. "Thank you for giving me such an incredible boy."

He felt her breath hitch in surprise then she smiled and leaned against him in recognition of the touching sentiment. "He is a joy, isn't he?"

"He surely is."

"I couldn't have done it without you, you know," she softly replied.

J.R. lightly chuckled then thought back on how the boy was conceived and the difficult start he'd had to his life. Once again, because of terrible decisions he had made, he had missed the first months of his son's life and had nearly lost Sue Ellen as well. If only he'd paid more attention back then, paid more attention to her. They might have had two or three more kids just like John Ross.

His heart sank for a moment at the regrets. Again he mentally heard Sue Ellen's warning from several days ago … _"That's what happens when your actions finally catch up to you and bite you on the conscience." _Yet still J.R. remained grateful for this chance to correct some of those poor choices he'd made. From now on, John Ross would be safe, loved, and cared for by the two people who had created him. They owed him that.

Miss Ellie entered the foaling barn in time to see the embrace J.R. shared with Sue Ellen as they watched John Ross. It made quite a family picture, one she had rarely seen from them, and it was a beautiful sight to her.

She had always hoped something would settle her oldest son down. The older he got, the more complicated things had become for him and she had been genuinely worried for him the past few years. Now, after he had received such a nasty wakeup call from the tornado, she was seeing subtle signs of change in him, good changes like she had always wanted. Changes that just might give him a chance at a better life.

Feeling the need to offer her support any way she could plus wanting them to stay on the ranch as long as possible, Ellie walked over to invite them to stay for dinner. And they gladly accepted. Dinner at Southfork was still a tradition they all loved being part of.

Joining the family at dinner turned out to be surprisingly comfortable, even enjoyable. J.R. and Sue Ellen were seated back in their traditional spots at the right of Miss Ellie with John Ross at their side. Across from them, Bobby sat with Christopher and at the opposite end of the table from Ellie sat Clayton.

As Miss Ellie talked about the restoration of the ranch and Bobby inserted his usual bad jokes, J.R. secretly glanced down at the head of the table to Clayton. It had always been difficult to see the older man sitting in Jock's chair. But tonight, with all that had happened and all the new plans he was making for the future, seeing Clayton sitting there no longer mattered. And it was liberating.

The warm, gentle touch of a hand near his knee brought J.R. out of his thoughts and he looked over to see Sue Ellen closely watching him. Her eyebrows quickly flicked together in a questioning way. In response, he reached down to place his hand over hers then smiled and winked at her.

Turning to look at Miss Ellie, J.R. cleared his throat to catch her attention. "Mamma, if you don't mind, I'd like to make a toast."

"Of course, J.R.," Ellie replied with a smile. "Go right ahead."

J.R. paused to look around the table then began. "It's been a hell of an amazin' week. But thank God we're all safe and back in our rightful places."

"Here, here," Ellie softly murmured in agreement.

"So," J.R. continued, lifting his water glass, "here's to our family and to us bein' together again."

"To our family!" The rest repeated.

But before J.R. took a drink, he purposefully looked back in Clayton's direction. When he caught the older man's attention, he gave him a subtle nod, finally acknowledging his place in the house.

Even as the rest of the adults at the table around J.R. raised their glasses and repeated his toast, they were all surprised by his thoughtful gesture. Ellie had expected him to repeat his usual, "To the Ewings," toast which purposefully excluded Clayton. Sue Ellen had noticed his nod to Clayton and was surprised by the gesture. Even Bobby was beginning to notice the thaw that had started to take over his older brother and found himself glad for it. Maybe they could all start finding a little peace now … at least until J.R.'s next scheme.

As Clayton sat his glass down, he looked back at J.R. and nodded in recognition.

"Thank you, J.R.," he evenly said. "I hope you mean that."

As the family collectively held their breath, J.R. slowly sat his glass down, pausing to carefully choose the words he was about to say. If Clayton had said something like that to him a few weeks ago, it would have angered him, provoking him into a fight. Now, J.R. surprisingly found himself wanting nothing more than to prove his intentions to the older man with some dignity and honor, two traits he thought he'd lost years ago.

"Yes, sir … I do mean it," J.R. calmly started, using the title of "sir" for the first time in addressing his former rival. "You might not agree with how I do things, Clayton, and I respect that. I've certainly never given you reason to trust me. But I do wanna do right by the people sittin' at this table, especially Sue Ellen and John Ross. And since your opinion means a lot to Sue Ellen … and to Mamma, of course … I'm hopin' maybe sometime in the future we can find some common ground for their sake."

Clayton sat stunned for a moment then sharply nodded once in agreement. Somehow it seemed Ellie's oldest boy really had grown a backbone. Maybe the tornado had knocked some sense into him. But whatever it was, Sue Ellen had been right, the way she pleaded his case earlier in the day. Because for the first time since he'd met J.R., there would be no fight.

"Alright then," Clayton hesitantly agreed. "I'm willing to give you some time … and wish you good luck."

"Thank you," J.R. respectfully replied then realized he needed to lighten the mood. "But now I'll be with my own family, I expect you to look out for Mamma, which I have no doubt you will." Then he looked over at his baby brother. "You too, Bob. Don't make me have to come back here and whup up on ya."

Knowing the threat wasn't very plausible, Bobby grinned then let out a soft laugh, breaking the tension that had fallen over the table. "You got it, Big Brother."

"Then how about if we celebrate with some dessert?" Ellie happily interjected, truly enjoying the family dinner for the first time in a very long time. "Theresa?"

As his mother called out to the maid, Sue Ellen shifted her hand to grasp J.R.'s under the table and tightly squeezed it, signaling her pleasure in the way he had acted toward Clayton. When J.R. looked over at her, she returned his wink from a moment ago and contentedly smiled at him.

J.R. couldn't help but chuckle. He was finding that pleasing Sue Ellen was certainly easier than all the times he'd spent disappointing her. And it was infinitely more profitable. Then he realized he finally understood what Jock had always said, what he had heard repeated in his dream while in the hospital … _"You'll attract a whole lot more flies with honey than you will with vinegar."_

Hell, sweet-talkin' was one of the things he did best. If all he had to do was add some genuine meaning to it to get good things rolling his way, especially with Sue Ellen, then bring it on.


	42. Chapter 42

Wild Is The Wind, Part 42

Sunsets on Southfork were a peaceful time of the day, filled with the sights and sounds of the ranch bedding down for the night. Crickets could be heard softly chirping in the pastures accompanied by the muffled sounds of livestock returning to the stables and barns, shepherded by the light-hearted, teasing laughter of the hands on the way back to their bunkhouses. And all of it took place under a soft glow of golden shadows cast by the setting sun. Rich, vibrant colors in the sky that would soon fade into the pink, oranges, and lavenders of another amazing Texas twilight.

As Sue Ellen walked around the path to the front of the house, she basked in the moment and couldn't help but smile. She had always loved this time of night on Southfork. It held its own special kind of peace for her, the kind she'd never been able to duplicate anywhere else, no matter how hard she tried. And especially on this night when so much had seemingly been settled in her life.

Scanning the fence line running off to the left before her, she soon spotted the shadowy figure with the cowboy hat she had been expecting to find. The one who was surprisingly playing such a big part in her newfound peace.

"J.R.?" She softly called to him.

He turned and answered her call. "Hey, darlin … c'mon over here."

He was standing at the paddock fence, facing the road that ran in front of Southfork. His uninjured arm was folded across the top rail with his chin resting on his hand. Unknown to Sue Ellen, this was becoming a favorite pose for him, just like it had been a few mornings ago when his mother had found him in the same spot.

"When you disappeared after dinner, Miss Ellie said I might find you out here," Sue Ellen explained as she approached.

"Did she now?" He replied with a knowing grin.

Sue Ellen raised her hand and gently placed it on his injured shoulder. "You feeling all right?"

"Oh yeah, I feel fine." He shifted to reach over his shoulder to take her hand in his, signaling he was glad she was there. "Just thinkin'," he wistfully added.

"Thinking, huh?" She softly echoed, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, knowing he was probably thinking about the property across the road. She briefly wondered if she should tell him she knew about it. Then she realized if she expected openness from him she should be offering the same in return. "Thinking about the Stratton property across the road maybe?"

Surprised, J.R. looked down at her then slowly grinned again. "Yeah. Mamma told you about that, too, huh?"

"She did," Sue Ellen replied with a nod and drew closer to him, seeking out his warmth as she lightly rested her head against his arm. "She told me a little bit about your talk the other morning, that you might be interested in buying the place. To be honest, the thought of you giving up Southfork is pretty shocking."

"Yeah, I know," he gently agreed then shifted to bring his arm around her back, drawing her even closer against him.

Sue Ellen gladly nestled in, settling against his chest in the spot that seemed to fit her so well. Even after all they had been through, the way she could so naturally fit into his embrace still set off a wave of electric tingles in her stomach. Yet she surprisingly felt a little hesitation in him. For once, though, it didn't bother her and she decided to let him choose whether or not to share his thoughts. Little did she know she was right.

J.R. was mentally debating whether to share more about his plans with her. He had always closely guarded anything personal, ever since he was young, whether for his own protection or just out of fear. But Sue Ellen already knew about the property. She always seemed to know what mattered most to him. It was just another thing that made her special in the excess of women he had known. And he did want her to know what he was thinking since his plans were now centered on her and their son.

"It's like I've been sayin' … like I told Mamma," he finally said, his voice low and intimate. "Southfork just doesn't feel like home anymore. The tornado changed all that." He dipped his head to place a quick kiss against her temple and left his lips against her skin. "It changed a lot of things. And I'm sure as hell grateful it did."

Sue Ellen tilted her head up just enough to look at him, attempting to read his expression. She needed to see if the meaning of his words registered in his eyes. And at the moment, the misty blue-grey sparkle was as warm and promising as his words.

"You really are, aren't you?" She wondered aloud.

The astonishment in her words made J.R. smile, reminding him she still had plenty to learn about him. And he still had plenty to share with her. He was going to enjoy spending the next 20 or 30 years doing just that.

"Watchin' John Ross earlier with the foal … it was amazin', Sue Ellen," he quietly remarked. "But it also got me thinkin' … what if he takes after my mamma and wants to work with horses instead of oil? Or anything else for that matter?" J.R. thought about that for a moment then slowly shook his head. "That would require a shift in my thinkin', that's for sure. I always figured the boy would just pick up the Ewing Oil legacy. But then again, exactly what kind of legacy is that? What's it gotten me? I never chose oil ... it was just put on me ever since I could remember. Didn't matter much, though … I loved it, anyhow. But with everything that's happened this week, I've been wonderin' if maybe oil overshadowed my daddy's real legacy for me. What he left me wasn't really tied up in the Ewing Oil building and the crude, was it?"

It was the type of question that didn't need an answer and J.R. paused once more to consider what he was saying - things that would have sounded blasphemous before his coma-induced dream about his father. Then he smiled to himself. It was yet another thing the tornado had changed. He now saw his father as simply as man … a great man, but not a superman.

"The love and pride in his family made oil a distant second with my daddy," he continued. "I can see that now." A wave of regret momentarily washed over him, making him sigh heavily before continuing. "Family is somethin' I've been ignorin' in my own life for too long. That boy of ours needs a place to call his own … a place he can share with both of us but still be close to his roots at Southfork. I think the Stratton place just might fit the bill."

Sue Ellen remained quiet, wanting J.R. to keep talking, inwardly amazed by his unguarded admissions. Had anyone ever really taken the chance to get to know what was going on in J.R.'s head and heart? Had he ever let anyone in close enough to do so? She knew the answer was no. But she also knew she loved being the one in such an intimate place to do so. Especially because it was letting her see he was perhaps deeper than even she had suspected, even after all the years she had been married to him.

"I mean that, about John Ross having both of us around," J.R. reaffirmed and lifted his hand up to cup her chin, making her look at him. "He needs both of us, Sue Ellen. And I need both of you. Mamma was the reason my daddy got up outta bed and kickin' every mornin'. And you're the one I've been needin' to do that for me. I just didn't realize it 'til I woke up in that hospital bed a few days ago and found you at my side." He slowly smiled and traced his thumb down the delicate line of her jaw. "'Cause even though I've been tryin' like hell to keep two steps in front of you this past year, I much prefer havin' you at my side … and in my bed."

"Oh, that smile of yours … it's so easy on the eyes," she breathlessly said, trying to control the slight tremor in her voice as his smile truly did wreak havoc on her internal system as it always did. "I just hope your words are as easy on my heart." She drew in even closer against him, wrapping her arms around his back. "Because it does feel good right now, being with you … with no motives and no hidden agendas."

"Same for me." J.R. grinned even more broadly and slowly glided his other hand down around her waist, resting it possessively low on her hip. "We're meant to be together. You know it … I know it. And it's time we get on with it."

Sue Ellen slowly shook her head, somewhat in disbelief, trying to process all he was saying. "All those years I tried to find some way to show you that needing me wasn't a sign of weakness. That all I wanted was just for you to talk to me … to share any part of your life with me ..."

Her voice trailed off and J.R. nodded then kissed her forehead. "I know, honey. But that's just what you've got now."

In his mind, J.R. suddenly flashed back to his dream about Jock, when his father had said there was someone who wanted to help him … that family was all that mattered. There was no doubt now that was all tied up in Sue Ellen. If he was honest with himself, he had always known she was meant to be his partner in every way. He'd just been too arrogant, too dumb, or just flat out too stubborn to acknowledge her like that. Until now, after a crazy, random act of nature knocked some sense into him.

"I'm gettin' older ... and slower ... and I've been losin' fights lately I should'a been winnin'," he quietly said, resting his chin on the top of her head as he looked out to horizon and the brilliant hues of the sunset. "But at least now I can see that if I ain't gonna win, then I'd better start bein' more selective about whom I'm fightin' against. And I sure as hell don't wanna fight with you any more."

Sue Ellen pulled back just enough to look up at him, into his eyes. Even though his words were light, the fierce blend of regret and realization in his expression mixed with such understanding and love it took her breath away.

He still had the ability to shock her, damn him. The promises that kept coming from him now seemed so real, so important to him. She seemed so important to him. So unlike the J.R. she had known and despised for so long, even up until a few days ago.

"I feel like I don't really know you anymore," she wondered allowed.

It wasn't the kind of reply J.R. was expecting and his expression clouded into a frown. "Well, is that a good thing or bad thing, honey?"

"Oh, it's a good thing … a very good thing," she said with a smile then continued. "Because just about everything you're doing and saying right now is intriguing the hell outta me. And I think I want to keep you around, just to see how far you're willing to take this." Then she ominously tapped a perfectly manicured fingernail on his chest in synch with what she said next. "But don't you dare mess this up again."

"Not a chance." He replied with a soft laugh despite knowing full well she was serious. "Besides, I can't even begin to imagine the depths of your wrath if I did mess up again. I only just barely survived the plans you concocted for me this past year." He softly yet suggestively stroked her hip with his thumb. "That tornado had nothin' on you, darlin'."

Sue Ellen rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue in disdain but then she reluctantly smiled again. And J.R. tipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

"You've shown me how good it can be between us again, Sue Ellen," he whispered against her lips, his tone now serious. "And I know it took a whole lot of courage for you to trust me enough to let me back into your life like this. So thank you for that … thank you for giving me this chance."

With no more resistance, Sue Ellen reached up to remove his hat then beckoned him down into another kiss which J.R. reveled in. Not just for the confirmation it gave him that she was perhaps approving of what he was trying to accomplish between them. But also for the way she kept letting her guard down, finally letting him break through the complex walls of emotions she had built around herself the past year. Walls he had regretfully delivered all the bricks and mortar for.

Suddenly needing more from her, needing all the warmth and love she had so willingly offered him over the years that he had too often denied, J.R. deepened the kiss, slowly taking her mouth over and over again until they were both breathless.

When he kissed her like that, Sue Ellen felt like the world around her dropped away, making it so all she wanted was him. Why did it have to feel so different when J.R. kissed her? Why did she have to be attracted to the one man on the planet who made it so difficult to love him? He made her forget how independent she had become living without him. He made the shadows of their past blur then disappear and cancel out whatever future plans she had made. But at that moment, he was the answer to all she had been missing.

"Oh yeah, you keep kissing me like that and you won't be going anywhere," she whispered in approval.

J.R. slowly disengaged from their kiss to look down at her, studying her intently. He knew she was only talking about this moment but he wanted her to be talking about a lifetime.

"Help me build the new ranch, Sue Ellen," he softly coaxed, shamelessly working the small, off-balance advantage he held over her at the moment while needing to offer her more proof of what he'd been saying. "Help me make it a place of our own, a place where John Ross can be with both of us, like my daddy and mamma did with Southfork when I was growin' up."

Sue Ellen stood motionless for a moment, still a little dazed from the instantaneous physical reaction he had elicited but more than capable of processing what he was saying. And once again, the clarity of his response was unexpected and more intimidating than any of his usual bluster. But for the first time in her life, with the glint of hope in his voice as he spoke, she knew he really meant what he was saying.

"All right," she finally said. "I'll go along with you … for now."

"For now?" J.R. irreverently challenged as good humor sparkled in his eyes. "You still waitin' to see if I'll prove you wrong?"

She defiantly held his gaze and shook her head. "No. I'm waiting to see if you'll prove me right. It's about damn time you did."

J.R. couldn't contain the joy bubbling up inside him at her teasing promise. He softly laughed then bent to rest his forehead against hers. "Remind me to thank my mamma for sending you outside to me," he said, his voice now deep and seductive.

"Oh, I will," Sue Ellen gently replied, still surprised at how alluring and entertaining she was finding her supposedly former cad of an ex-husband. "I adore your mother, J.R."

"She is somethin' special, ain't she?" He softly agreed.

"She is indeed," Sue Ellen nodded. "She gave me quite a compliment when I arrived at the ranch earlier today. She told me things I always wanted to hear from her."

"Like what?" He asked, genuinely interested in what his mother had said.

"She said being a Ewing isn't always about blood. She said Jock defined the name Ewing with the strength of his character … and she thought that same kind of character has surfaced in me."

J.R. suddenly remembered more of the words his father had spoken in his dream, _"… your mamma's a Ewing in every sense of the word … you really gonna settle for anyone less than that … you just remember it doesn't take my blood to be a Ewing …"_

"I agree with her," J.R. sincerely replied, his voice surprisingly tight with emotion. "My mamma always could judge a person as well as she could judge a fine horse. She knows a winner when she sees one. And you are a Ewing … through and through."

Sue Ellen felt a seductive surge of power and pride at his words. J.R. wasn't known for his compliments but when he did offer praise, it meant everything to her, just like the words from his mother.

"Out of all the people we know, besides John Ross, Miss Ellie seems to be the only one wanting us back together again," Sue Ellen added.

"See there, she's real smart, too," J.R. playfully agreed.

"Then how about proving to us both that you are your daddy's son and using that famous Ewing character to make everything you've promised me happen?" She challenged.

J.R. once again recalled the echo of his father's words,_ " … so much like Ellie, all silk and steel …"_

He slowly straightened up to look down into those amazingly deep, dark eyes of hers. A sudden surge of emotion and the lingering effects of the havoc the tornado had dealt him, both physically and mentally, left him feeling totally spent yet also profoundly touched by how easy he was finding it to talk to this woman. His woman.

"Yes, ma'am," he whispered as he leaned to rest his forehead against hers once more. "I love you, Sue Ellen."

The sweet, deep tone of his voice that accompanied the sincere, rare words he offered made Sue Ellen shiver. Once again she had to ask herself … who was this man? She had to swallow hard and compose herself before she responded. She wasn't ready to say those three words in reply but she was more than ready to show him she wanted to try. So she offered him a simple, tempting offer instead.

"Prove it."

The sincerity she had seen in his gaze instantly turned dark with the sexual hunger she knew so well … his hunger for her. His head lowered and his lips slowly, gently brushed against hers until he stopped teasing and kissed her.

Surprisingly, it was a sweet kiss, not demanding like she would have expected. Almost like he was being careful with her, even protective. And best of all it felt so right, in spite of everything.

In response, she slid her hand up along his chest until it curved around his neck, caressing the warm, exposed skin between the crisp cotton of his shirt and silky silver fringe of his hair. Beckoning him closer, deeper. When he gave in, his mouth claimed hers more completely, intentionally leaving her breathless and clinging to him.

After a moment, he reluctantly pulled back, ending the embrace even though he wanted so much more. But somewhere in the haze of his need for her he realized they were still out in the open, in front of his mamma's house. So he would put a hold on this until they were back home.

Home. The ease of how that thought came to him was both startling and a revelation. All his life Southfork had been his home. But that was gone forever now … and in a good way. Because wherever Sue Ellen was at was his home now. And wherever they were would be John Ross. His family. He'd never let anything separate him from his wife and son again.

He disengaged from her just long enough to pull her into a secure embrace, holding her as if he would never let her go again. So much like she had held him earlier in the day at the edge of the storm cellar. But soon, he was resting against her, the feeling of exhaustion overtaking him once more. So much had taken place during the day. So much progress towards all the things he wanted now.

Sue Ellen felt the brief wave of weakness pass through him and gently stroked his back. "J.R., you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Yeah," he breathed against her hair, grateful for her understanding. Then he tiredly smiled. "But the things I'm thinkin' about you right now ain't exactly appropriate considerin' I'm standin' out on the lawn in front of my mamma's house."

When she softly laughed at his unerring ability to make a pass at her, he laughed, too, knowing he was the one who had given her that little slice of pleasure and happiness. One of many she deserved.

She gently placed her hands on the side of his head to bring him down closer, allowing her to kiss the small white bandage on his forehead that covered the remaining traces of damage done to him by the tornado. The most terrifying moments of their lives that had somehow given them back their lives.

As she lifted his head back up to look into his eyes once more, she smiled then disengaged from him just far enough to reach down and take his hand. "Come on," she said, "let's go … home."

J.R. heard the brief pause before she said "home" but the warmth and understanding she had placed on that final word had filled him with more hope than he could ever remember feeling. Because hearing the word "home" from her now meant everything to him.

If this was what it was like for his daddy, loving and being in love with one woman, he now understood why his father seemed so happy his last few years. And he was going to enjoy the hell out of whatever time and attention Sue Ellen gave him from now on.


	43. Chapter 43

Wild Is The Wind, Part 43

With nearly an hour to go before Ewing Oil was open for business, Bobby Ewing stepped off the elevator into the main office suites, hoping to finish up some waiting paperwork before another busy day started. But as he walked towards his office, he noticed the lights were on in J.R.'s office and he could hear soft, shuffling sounds of movement coming from inside.

Cautiously approaching the door, his steps slowed as he peaked around the door. Then he smiled and sighed in relief as he could see his brother inside, hovering over his desk, looking at a stack of papers. And Sly, his secretary, was at his side, packing up a filing box.

"So, you're really serious about leaving," Bobby said as he pushed the door open and casually leaned against the door frame.

J.R. looked up and nodded. "Yes, I'm really serious about leavin'. And I'm hopin' to be outta here before I have to see that idiot Barnes darken these doors again."

Bobby chose to ignore the crack about his other partner and thoughtfully studied his brother. "Well, I gotta tell you," he replied, "whatever's going on in that head of yours certainly agrees with you. You're looking damn good despite that tornado. I haven't seen you … I don't know … this relaxed, rested … in a very long time."

"Well, that's because I'm feelin' good … damn good!" J.R. said with a smile then came from around his desk to approach Bobby, his hands in his pockets, striking a reflective pose. "I'll be honest with ya, Bob … feels like I finally got my head on straight. And I've got my wife and son back at my side because of it. I didn't deserve this turn of luck that's come my way. But I'm sure as hell enjoyin' it."

"Ah, so it's Sue Ellen who is behind this change in you," Bobby grinned. "I should've known. She always was your equalizer."

J.R. paused to think about what his brother said and the lady they were talking about then he softly smiled. "Yes, she is."

Bobby nodded. J.R.'s determination coupled with both his about-face with Clayton the other night at dinner and his obvious softening about the one woman who was ever his match was making a little ray of admiration for his brother spring up in his chest. Not enough to completely trust J.R. ever again, but enough to at least respect what his brother was trying to accomplish.

"And to think it only took a little tornado," Bobby finally added with a gently teasing smile. "It's about time, Big Brother."

"Yes, it is," J.R. agreed, still grinning.

Bobby nodded over at Sly. "So, you taking Sly with you?"

J.R. looked back at his secretary. "Yes, Sly agreed to come with me … again." Sly looked up just long enough to smile at both of them before returning to her work. "Can't do much without her. She's the only one who knows where I keep all my secrets."

Bobby knew that was more truth than flattery. "No doubt about that."

"Speaking of which," J.R. added, "hand me those two documents on the corner of my desk, will ya, Sly?" When she did as he asked and brought the papers to him, J.R. took them from her and he looked back at Bobby. "You gotta minute to talk about a few things, Bob?"

Bobby nodded and straightened up. "Sure, let's go to my office."

"Lead the way," J.R. replied then watched his brother turn and head to his office down the hall. When he was out of hearing range, J.R. looked back to Sly. He motioned to the painting of Jock just off to the side of his office door. "Take real good care of that 'til I get back … it's stayin' with us."

Sly knowingly nodded. "Yes, sir."

With that, J.R. followed Bobby to his office, giving a quick glance at the door that read, "Cliff Barnes" on the way. He rolled his eyes and briefly shook his head with contempt before continuing on until he was standing in front of Bobby's desk.

"Here you go," J.R. said as he handed Bobby one of the documents in his hand.

"What's this?" Bobby asked, glancing over the unknown list and figures on the sheet.

"Some of the Ewing Oil properties I own ... properties I'm thinkin' about passin' on to you."

Surprised, Bobby quickly looked up at J.R. "What's the catch?"

J.R. chuckled at his brother's suspicious reply. "No catch. Just thought with you runnin' Ewing Oil now, you ought to have them."

"That's awfully generous," Bobby warily answered.

"Oh, it'll cost you," J.R. quickly countered. "Say … 20% above their appraisals?"

"That's outrageous!" Bobby said with a smile, finally learning there was a catch, just as he thought.

"No, that's business," J.R. succinctly added. "Hell, if you weren't my brother, I'd be chargin' you twice as much."

"No doubt," Bobby agreed then looked down at the list again with growing interest. After a moment, he looked back up at his brother, surprised. "These are some prime cuts, J.R."

"'Course they are! I wouldn't be offerin' you garbage at a time like this. But I am keepin' Ewing 1 for John Ross since he's Daddy's namesake."

Bobby nodded and looked up. "That seems only right."

"And just to show my intentions are good," J.R. added, handing Bobby the other piece of paper he was holding, "here's some info on a little independent outside Abilene that just might be amenable to bein' brought into the Ewing Oil fold. Besides a couple of healthy reserve fields, they've been workin' on some pretty sound alternative fuels. Even have a couple of wind farms up in Oklahoma and Wyoming."

"Alternative fuels, J.R.?" Bobby carefully asked, both surprised and suspicious once more. "Thought you always said that oil was the backbone of this company?"

"And it always will be as long as the crude is flowin'," J.R. agreed. "But change is comin', Bob." He paused briefly to once more recall the words Jock had told him in his dream. "There's more than one way to fuel a nation and this country is gonna need different types of fuel … and soon. So now is the time to start workin' on 'em to make sure Ewing Oil is right there to hand it to 'em on a silver platter. For a sizeable profit, or course."

"Of course," Bobby echoed then sat back in his chair, still somewhat taken aback by his brother's change of attitude that was now blending with his rather devious but highly knowledgeable angles about the oil business. He smiled once more. "I've gotta tell you … I'm impressed."

"Well, good!" J.R. chuckled again at his baby brother still playing catch-up to him.

"But c'mon, J.R. … level with me," Bobby said, his mood turning more serious as he was suddenly interested once more in his brother's plans. "What are you going to do now without Ewing Oil?"

J.R. became unexpectedly reflective. "To be honest … sittin' behind a desk pushin' papers and crunchin' numbers just ain't that appealin' to me anymore, Bobby. And the past few weeks since the tornado hit made me realize how much I've missed just bein' with my wife and son. I want to do something that will give me more time with them." Then he shrugged and a flash of arrogance returned. "Besides, you know me … I always loved the deal more than the details, anyway."

"The devil is in the details," Bobby added with a knowing smile.

"Exactly!" J.R. grinned. "So, I've been thinkin' about maybe dabblin' in energy properties, at least for a little while." Then he slyly shrugged. "Maybe even work up to the point where all the energy exchanges in this town – at least the important ones – start flowin' through me."

"Heaven helps us!" Bobby replied with a laugh.

"Amen!" J.R. heartily added then saw the chance to slip in a few more details. "Which reminds me, Bob … you'll soon be havin' some vacancies in Geology, Legal, and Accounting. Lopez, Jacobs, and Williams have all agreed to come work for me."

"J.R., those are the some of the best people I have in those divisions!" Bobby replied, both exasperated if not a little amused by the continued nerve of his brother.

"'Course they are! Why else would I be takin' them with me?"

Bobby shook his head and marveled at the way his older brother could still both charm him and irritate him all in the same breath.

"Then you owe me a cut rate on these properties," he countered, waving the list of properties at J.R.

"Everything is negotiable in this business, Little Brother," J.R. grinned again. Then he paused for a moment, cocking his head to the side to study him while deciding to share one last piece of advice. "Bobby, it's never about whether you're holdin' four aces or bluffin'," he thoughtfully remarked. "It's all about attitude. Thinkin' you're gonna win is a whole lot more fun than thinkin' you're gonna get beat … and a whole lot more profitable." He nodded approvingly. "I think you're finally gettin' the hang of this business. Now prove it to me by makin' me a good offer on those properties."

Flattered by the veiled compliment, Bobby nodded and smiled. "Well … there are about a hundred things I want full disclosure on … but give me a chance to look these over and I'll get back to you about cutting a deal."

"Lookin' forward to hearin' from you," J.R. said with a genuine smile and extended his hand, offering Bobby the age-old, sacrosanct Texas pact of a handshake.

There was no hesitation on Bobby's part as he stood up and gripped his brother's hand firmly, shaking on the prospect of completing an honest deal between them.

"By the way, Bobby … thanks for relentin' and lettin' me back in at Ewing Oil when you did," J.R. added as they released their hands. "If you need any help or advice or just a swift kick in the ass ... you know where to find me. I mean that."

Bobby studied J.R. for a moment and was surprised by the sincerity of his words. "I'll do that. Same goes for you."

Then J.R. offered Bobby another piece of advice he hoped his brother would follow. "Just watch Barnes, Bob ..."

"J.R. …" Bobby interrupted in a warning tone.

"I know, I know … I'm just sayin'," J.R. quickly countered and held up his hand to ward off the warning he knew was coming from his brother. "Barnes has been more lucky than smart and luck is a fleetin' commodity in this town." A wistful flicker clouded his expression for a moment. "I ough'ta know." Then he grinned again and reassembled his most charming, devious façade. "Now go out and make me … and Daddy … proud of you and put this company back on top, you hear?"

Bobby smiled and nodded. "You know it."

No other words were needed between them as J.R. turned and was gone from the office of President of Ewing Oil, his long association with the company seemingly over. But Bobby had no doubt that his brother would some how, some way still find a way to make his presence felt in the oil business. And perhaps for the better.

Phyllis, Bobby's secretary, soon appeared at his open door, interrupting his thoughts.

"Morning, Bobby!" She said with a warm smile. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

Bobby looked up from the papers J.R. had given him and nodded. "That would be great, Phyllis, thanks." With his thoughts still on his conversation with J.R., he looked down at the company info once more and decided to act on the advice. "And when you get a minute, I need you track down some information on a company for me."

"Sure, no problem," Phyllis readily agreed. "Anything else?"

"Yes, as soon as Cliff gets here, have him come see me," Bobby replied then smiled. "Boy, do I have a surprise for him."


	44. Chapter 44

Wild Is The Wind, Part 44

Heading home after work, Sue Ellen wasn't surprised when all the lanes of cars on the busy freeway began to slow and back up. It wasn't rush hour in Dallas without some kind of traffic jam. And from experience, she knew all she could do was patiently wait until she was moving again.

Easing her Mercedes to a stop behind the truck in front of her, she settled back into her seat and turned on the radio, hoping to catch up on the latest news as she waited. But as she listened, her thoughts soon wandered off into a review of the day. She was tired, but the kind of tired that felt good. For the first time in weeks, things had actually gone as planned.

John Ross was back in school on his regular schedule. J.R. was recovering and feeling stronger every day. He had even decided to visit Ewing Oil earlier in the morning. And for the first time in over a week, she had spent a full day at her office, catching up with her secretary on messages and going over her revised schedule. After so much chaos, it was feeling like her life was finally back in order … almost normal.

Normal … that thought made her smile. Her life had literally been blown apart by the tornado and nothing about it was the same. But somehow, the way it had reassembled was such a better fit. She felt warm … alive … even loved … for the first time since before Nicholas died. And it felt good.

That good feeling was still tempered with pangs of the guilt and sadness she had lived with for the past year. She wouldn't let herself forget what happened the night Nicholas died. But since the tornado, she also knew she couldn't continue to let her grief pull her back into the darkness and despair she had lived with since that night. Not when almost dying herself had reminded her how much she had to live for.

The laughter of her son was now a constant reminder that he was one who deserved her time and attention. The way warm sunshine felt on her face reminded her of the moment she emerged from the dark storm cellar after the tornado in such an uncomfortable parallel to the emotional darkness she had been stuck in. Then there was the way she was able to so easily come apart under J.R.'s touch, reminding her again and again how amazing it felt to be the center of his attention. Waking up with him just that morning had been the perfect example.

Coming out of a deep sleep, she felt the gentle, stirring brush of his lips against her naked skin as he kissed her shoulder. And with each kiss that followed as he slowly moved higher, she could feel the subtle flicker of his facial muscles as he smiled.

That smile. Devious charm personified yet sexy as hell. It had been the downfall of so many. She'd fallen for it herself too many times to count. Falling for it now, though, was pure pleasure.

"You make one hell of an alarm clock, J.R.," she sleepily murmured against her pillow then shivered at the way his satisfied chuckle warmly grazed her skin.

"I do love wakin' you up," he murmured while trailing more kisses across her shoulder even as his fingers brushed away her hair to expose her neck.

Now he was kissing her from the base of the neck to just behind her ear. She was only able to tolerate the hot teasing for so long before she turned onto her back to face him. And he shifted in counterpoint to allow her movement then settled in against her once more as he leaned down to kiss her on the mouth, all with the same enticing movement she gladly fell into.

Oh, she was enjoying having him wake her up, too.

The impatient honk of a car in the next lane brought Sue Ellen back to the present … her car, the crowded freeway. But she wistfully ran the top of her thumbnail over her lip as her memories lingered on those sexy, shattering moments that followed.

She hadn't dared let herself think she could feel an attraction and need like that again and especially not about J.R. Not after the part he had played in Nicholas' death. Not after the years of his cheating and lies that had led up to it. Yet he had become the dubious hero who had saved her life, both emotionally and physically, pulling her back from the depths of grief and bitterness just as he had rescued her during the tornado. And at the same time, he was reinventing himself as someone she could …

She stopped her thoughts before they mentally admitted what she still couldn't say verbally. Not yet. Not before he really proved to her that this new version of his character wasn't just another fleeting attempt at repentance. Because despite how far they had come since the tornado, he was still going to have to work damn hard to prove he was worthy of her. Maybe then she could let herself love him again.

Taking a deep breath, she released it along with any other thoughts of the past and future and focused back on the here and now as the traffic started to move again. She had promised herself to see out this new relationship with J.R. one day at a time, whatever it led to. Nothing more, no promises from either other them. And she could do that for now … especially if he kept making her feel the way he did earlier that morning.

**«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»**

The rest of the drive home was uneventful and it wasn't long before Sue Ellen pulled into her driveway. But as she came up to the front of the house, she found her parking space occupied by J.R.'s silver Cadillac Allante. Thinking about it for a moment, she reluctantly shook her head then grinned, glad to know he had obviously been cleared by his doctor to drive again but also a little annoyed he had so arrogantly parked wherever the hell he wanted.

"Typical," she muttered, still smiling as she got out of her car then reached behind the seat for her purse. But as she shut the door and walked towards his car, she felt such a mixture of contentment and excitement at having him there that she affectionately ran her fingers along the polished, silver fender of his car as she passed it.

Opening the front door, her enjoyment continued as the soft chatter and laughter of John Ross and J.R. came from inside. It was such a nice sound to come home to. So much better than all the empty, lonely times she had pushed open the same door to silence.

Proceeding into the entryway, she closed the door behind her and sat her purse down then followed the sound of their voices into the living room. J.R. and John Ross were seated on the couch with papers and photos spread out in front of them on the coffee table. They were so engaged in their conversation they didn't hear her come in.

"Homework?" She asked, her smile lingering as she continued to observe at them.

They both looked up at her at the same time in the same way. So alike in so many ways, she thought to herself.

"Mom!" John Ross exclaimed with a grin.

"Hey, darlin'!" J.R. said at the same time with the same grin as he stood up to go to her side and kiss her on the cheek. "How was your day?"

"Good," she replied, nearly laughing at the odd reversal of having her ex-husband greeting her after a day at the office. For the first 10 years of their marriage, it had been just the opposite with her dutifully waiting at home for him. "What's going on?"

"Dad's been showing me some cool stuff from Ewing Oil," John Ross proudly answered.

"So I see," Sue Ellen replied as she surveyed the piles of papers then looked across the room at the small row of boxes stacked up against the wall. Leaning against the side of the boxes was the portrait of Jock Ewing that used to hang in the Southfork living room. The last time she had seen it, it had been hanging in J.R.'s office.

She walked over to the painting then stopped to thoughtfully admire it. J.R. looked after her then followed.

"Sorry 'bout all this," he softly said so only she could hear, gesturing to the boxes. "I promise, it's only temporary. I just needed somewhere to put the things from my office I thought I might need. But it's only 'til Sly gets my new office space set up. A week or two at the most."

Sue Ellen slowly nodded then looked up at him, still not sure what the boxes being there meant. "Do I dare ask how it went at Ewing Oil?"

"It went good … I didn't see Barnes," he grinned, amused by his own humor, even as she glared at him in mock disapproval. "But I did finish up what I needed to."

"So, do the boxes and painting being here mean you're really done with Ewing Oil?"

"I am," he nodded then paused to look at her for a moment, his humor gradually fading, leaving him with a thoughtful expression. "Ewing Oil as I knew it … what I had there with my daddy … it's just a good memory now. And I'm all right with that."

"You know, even after all these years, you can still surprise me," Sue Ellen remarked, clearly impressed. "I thought hanging on to Ewing Oil was all that mattered to you. Now you're walking away from it. Just like you did Southfork."

"I'm just walkin' away from fights I don't give a damn about anymore," he gently corrected then gestured over at John Ross. "What I do care about is that boy over there." Then he looked back down at her and softly grinned. "And his mamma. And now I'm done with Ewing Oil, I'm lookin' forward to havin' even more time to spend with the two of you."

Sue Ellen had always thought he could be one of the world's greatest used car salesmen. But this time his pitch had resonance because it was centered solely on their son … and her.

"Well, to be honest … I'm looking forward to you spending more time with us, too," she agreed. "I've enjoyed having you around the past few weeks."

"Have you now?" He replied, his tone playfully arrogant as he enjoyed the small victory of having her approval.

She responded by crossing her arms across her chest and assuming her own playfully arrogant pose. "Yes. And it will be interesting to see if you can continue to settle into family life."

"You still doubtin' I can do it?" He questioned with an air of amusement.

"Let's just say," she carefully replied but also smiled, "it will be a another very pleasant surprise if you succeed."

"And I do love surprisin' you." The look he gave her confirmed the sexy double meaning of his words. When a faint blush tinted her cheeks and she softly laughed, he gently changed the subject, realizing John Ross might be listening to them. "It felt good surprisin' my little brother today, too. I offered him some of the Ewing Oil properties I got back from Jeremy Wendell as a final gesture of good will."

"Did you now?" She impassively replied, knowing his tactics too well. "For an outrageous fee?"

He shrugged his shoulders but slowly grinned at her for so quickly grasping his underlying motives. "Only 20 percent above the appraisals."

"Only?" Sue Ellen sarcastically echoed then she reached up to touch his chin in mock examination. "I don't see any damage where he punched you. Or did Bobby just tell you what you could do with your offer?"

J.R. couldn't help but laugh at her teasing and played along. "We'll see when his counter offer comes in." He cocked his head to the side and contemplated what he was about to say. "Ya know, Bobby's gonna do just fine runnin' Ewing Oil. I really ain't gonna miss it that much. Besides, I got a whole new set of fish to fry."

"So much for wanting to spend more time with John Ross and me," she gently chided.

"Oh no, I meant what I said, Sue Ellen," J.R. replied, his tone and expression turning serious. "You and the boy come first now. The new company is just somethin' to keep me mixed up in what's goin' on in this town. 'Cause I ain't the least bit interested in battlin' to be top dog anymore."

Sue Ellen considered what he said even as she searched his eyes for any hint of deception. Not finding any, she slowly nodded, realizing he might finally be telling her the truth.

"But you do need an office to go to," she said, acknowledging his point of view as she traced a lingering touch along his jaw before lowering her hand. "With deals to make … and business lunches at the Oil Barons Club to go to … and site visits to your fields and rigs. You can't ever be too far from the oil, J.R. It runs too deep in your blood."

J.R. nodded, appreciating her even more as the one person who understood him so well. "Exactly. I intend to show some of the so-called players in this town that despite the setbacks I've had, I still know more about what's happenin' with the oil and energy business than they do." Then he grinned. "And who knows, I just might relieve them of a little of their money while I'm at it."

Sue Ellen marveled up at him, both amused and intrigued. As it had been during the past few weeks, she was truly starting to understand J.R. Ewing. Being in business for herself had given her unique insight on just how tough it was to conduct business in Dallas, even using some of the tactics she had learned from him in her own dealings. She might not always agree with the way he struck a deal, but she could certainly appreciate his skill behind it.

"You're like a shark out of the tank now you're done with Ewing Oil, aren't you?" She remarked. "Free to move between the deep and shallow waters looking for that next new bite?"

Her knowing analogy pleased him and he nodded. "Yes."

Sue Ellen slowly turned away from him and back to the boxes and painting. As J.R. watched her, he felt like there was something she wanted to say, something she was holding back. He briefly wondered if he'd miscalculated by bringing the boxes back to her house. But he waited and watched, letting her set the tone of what was about to happen between them. And after a few moments, she didn't disappoint him.

"How about if we move these things into the library?" She finally said and looked back at him. "Maybe make it your temporary headquarters until Sly gets everything ready?"

A mixed look of surprise and relief brightened J.R.'s expression. "Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"No," she easily replied.

"You don't feel like I'm movin' too fast?" He cautiously added.

"Moving too fast?" She half laughed at their entire situation and being involved with him again in a way that until recently she wouldn't have even thought possible. "Considering I wasn't even talking to you a few weeks ago, my darlin', I'd say we've jumped right over moving too fast and headed out to light speed."

The amused sparkle in her eye and her use of one of her favorite endearments for him made a spike of pleasure run up J.R.'s spine. He'd never felt such a combined connection and attraction with a woman as he did at that moment. Sue Ellen understood him completely and still wanted him. So if telling her the truth was going to keep kicking back profits like that, he intended to keep right on doing it.

"Mmm, but what a couple of weeks it's been," he suggestively sighed, the tone of his voice now low and tempting as he gave her a long, lingering look.

She raised an eyebrow and nodded. "You do make one hell of an alarm clock."

It turned into another one of those moments when their eyes locked and a look passed between them that only the two of them understood, a look that briefly shut out the rest of the world and allowed them to express so much to each other in ways words never could. But the spell was unintentionally broken as John Ross approached.

"Dad," he asked, pointing to the grainy, gray photo he was holding, "is this Grandpa?"

J.R. reluctantly tore his gaze away from Sue Ellen to look down at the photo then lifted it out his son's hand to look at it more closely. As he did, Sue Ellen leaned in against him to look at it, too, and J.R. wrapped his arm around her back as she naturally fit into the crook of his shoulder.

"It sure is, son," J.R. confirmed. "That's your granddaddy standing in front of his first well."

"Ewing 1?" John Ross guessed from memories.

"That's right!" J.R. proudly grinned. Sue Ellen gently nudged his side in approval and he gave her a quick squeeze in acknowledgement. "I'm impressed you remember that, John Ross. You couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 when I took you out there."

"Sure, I remember," John Ross nodded and smiled up at his parents. "I remember you telling me it was the first well Grandpa pulled in … the one that started Ewing Oil. Is it still open?"

"Still open and pumpin' away to this day," J.R. replied as he put his free arm around the boy's shoulder. "As a matter of fact, I was just tellin' your Uncle Bobby this morning that since you are your granddaddy's namesake, someday it'll be yours."

"Wow … mine … really?" John Ross said with both awe and disbelief.

"You bet, son," J.R. nodded. "Whatever you choose to do with your life, that field and the revenues from it will always be yours to do with as you please."

"Wow!" John Ross exclaimed again, making both of his parents softly laugh at his enthusiasm.

"Say, how 'bout if we take another trip out there one of these days to see how it's doin'?" J.R. added.

"Can we? Really?" John Ross excitedly replied with a big grin as he looked up at his father. Then he looked over at his mother. "All three of us?"

"Sure!" J.R. happily nodded then also looked down at Sue Ellen. "How 'bout it? You wanna come out there with us and wear a hard hat and get all dirty?"

"Yeah, Mom … please come with us!" John Ross added.

"That depends." Sue Ellen looked from John Ross up to J.R. "You going to teach me the oil business, too?"

J.R. paused to consider her question. "Why, you thinkin' about gettin' into the oil business?"

"Well, since I sold Valentines, I am a little short on prospects and do need to diversify," she coyly replied. "You know of anything that might interest me?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded, realizing she was doing the leading now and he gladly followed, seizing it as an opportunity to gauge her interest and reinforce what he had already planned to ask her. "There's a new company startin' up … just a bunch of boxes in a living room, really. You could get in on the ground floor … end up makin' one hell of a profit. You interested?"

"The oil business," she said aloud, attempting to process what they were really talking about.

"The energy business," he gently corrected. "Teachin' two of you will be just as easy as teachin' one. Besides, you're smart as a whip, Sue Ellen. You impressed the hell outta me with Valentines. And oil and energy is just another commodity to someone with your wicked business sense. So, how 'bout puttin' all that know-how into somethin' a whole lot better than tryin' to sink me?"

"Like working with you instead?" She asked, already knowing his answer.

The significance of that moment suddenly struck J.R. There he was, holding both John Ross and Sue Ellen in his arms, the two most valuable things in his life that had nothing to do with oil, discussing their future of working together. He gave them both a quick squeeze.

"Somethin' even better," he replied, his gaze never wavering, showing her just how serious he was. "We'll be workin' for this boy here … workin' together on his future."

As it had been since the tornado, Sue Ellen found it difficult to say no to J.R. But that no longer bothered her.

"I'd love to do just that," she replied, trying to sound business-like but was unable to hide her excitement as she smiled up at him.

"I knew it!" J.R. gleefully exclaimed as he looked back down at his son. "The game is on, John Ross! With your mamma on board, we're gonna show Dallas the Ewings are back in business. Well, the Ewings that matter, anyway."

"Yes!" John Ross shouted, no longer able to contain the excitement that had been building inside his chest as he listened to his parents talk.

Seeing them becoming closer every day was all he had wanted the past year. All he had wanted for most of his life, really. And now they were together and would be working together for him made him prouder than he had ever been before. He was finally beginning to understand why his father took so much pride in being both a Ewing and an oilman. If it felt this good, he never wanted it to end.

"When can we go out to Ewing 1, Dad?" John Ross excitedly asked. "Tomorrow?"

"Now hold on, son," J.R. cautioned even as he grinned at his son's enthusiasm. "You just got back to school full time and your mamma and I are gonna have a whole lot goin' on with the new company. We'll need to stick around town for a while. But as soon as things start settlin' down … say early in the summer when you're out of school … we'll pack up the car and head out for a week or two and visit Ewing 1 and some of our other properties. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great!" John Ross quickly replied.

As Sue Ellen watched their exchange, she was grateful to simply be an observer. She truly loved the idea of taking a trip with both J.R. and John Ross. They had rarely traveled together outside Dallas because J.R. had never made the time. But now he was, she was thrilled their son would start having moments like this with them both, as a family.

"Now, how about going upstairs and getting cleaned up for dinner?" She said to John Ross as she reached over to run her hand over his hair and cup his chin. "We'll talk about all of this some more as we eat."

"Your mamma's right," J.R. added. "'Cause goin' out to that well will be just one of the many things we're gonna be doin' together. Startin' tonight with dinner."

John Ross didn't take time to reply as he raced up the stairs to his room to do as his parents asked. And Sue Ellen left J.R.'s side to briefly walk after him, looking up the stairs even after John Ross was out of sight.

"I can't believe the difference in him, J.R." she thoughtfully remarked, her expression filled with relief. "He's so happy again … so full of life."

"I know just how he feels," he agreed as he walked up behind her to reassuringly place his hands on her shoulders. "He's been needin' us just as much as I've been needin' you and him. Makes me damn glad that tornado finally pushed us all back together and made us a family again."

Sue Ellen took a moment to consider what J.R. said then slowly turned back to him. After looking up at him for a moment, she walked forward, passing him by as she returned to the painting of Jock leaning against the boxes and bent down to look at it more closely.

The mighty Ewing patriarch. A man she had both so strongly feared and adored. There was such strength and character in his face and the artist had captured it perfectly. Her memories flashed back to how devastated J.R. had been when Miss Ellie had taken the painting down when Clayton moved in at Southfork. And even though J.R. had proudly hung the painting both in the lobby at Ewing Oil then in his office, she knew it had never really found a proper home. It belonged back with family. It belonged with the Ewings.

"How about if we hang your daddy's portrait in here for now," she said, motioning to the living room as she straightened up and turned back at J.R. "Where we can all enjoy it until you're more settled?"

Her offer had a huge impact on J.R. It acknowledged her understanding of what the portrait meant to him. Plus it was another sign that she was settling into a more permanent state of mind about not only their relationship but of them being a family again.

"Thank you, Sue Ellen," he genuinely said, a hint of uncharacteristic emotion creeping through. "I'd like that … a lot."

"And maybe since your car is here," she continued, a hint of playfulness returning to her voice, "we could have the rest of your clothes sent out from Southfork."

J.R. once again stopped to look at her, this time in amazement. She was the one woman he knew so well yet she could still surprise the hell of him.

"Well, thanks for takin' pity on me, what with me bein' homeless and all," he replied with a grin.

"You … homeless," Sue Ellen replied with a soft laugh at the thought of one of richest men in Dallas being homeless. "We can't have that. Besides, at the moment there is nowhere else I want you to be. " Then her eyes seductively darkened. "But just remember … I still plan on making you earn it."

"Do you now?" J.R. challenged as he slowly approached her. "Good thing I already have a couple of suitcases full of my clothes out in the trunk of my car."

"Oh … you …!"

But she didn't finish as he pulled her in for a kiss before they both started to laugh at the way their constant game of one-upmanship had become so fun. Further proof to J.R. that Sue Ellen was the only person he shared that kind of closeness with, the only person he wanted to share it with.

"Since you're obviously driving again," she remarked as she pulled back just far enough to look up at him, "I take it your doctor's appointment went well today."

"It sure did," he replied with a nod. "The doc said I'm doing good … nearly back to my old self again."

The expression he used sent a cold wave of dread running through Sue Ellen, making her stomach clench. It was a verbalization of the fear that had been nagging at her for weeks. J.R. Ewing … back to his old self … back to everything she had learned to hate about him.

"Oh god, I hope not," she whispered as a tide of emotion welled up in both her voice and eyes.

J.R. instantly regretted what he said. For such an innocent saying, he understood how it had hit her with such a twisted meaning. Despite how far they had come and as close as they were now, he knew he still had a long way to go in winning her back.

"I'm sorry, darlin' … that was a poor choice of words," he tried to explain, gently reaching out to tip her chin up so she would look up at him again. "But you gotta know I ain't ever goin' back to the way I was 'cause I ain't ever givin' you up again. Or John Ross. Nothin' means more to me than the two of you now. I swear that on my daddy's grave."

Sue Ellen finally did look at him once more, then at the bare skin just above his eye that had until recently been covered with a white bandage. Now all that was left was a red scar. Such a vivid reminder of what the tornado had done to him, what they had been through together. The mark of where in a moment, everything had changed. He had changed.

Like she'd done the night out in front of Southfork she slid her hands up around his neck and beckoned him down until she could place a gentle, lingering kiss against the scar. In return, she felt his hands come up to cradle her face, his long fingers running along her jaw to smoothly angle her head back just enough to let him return the kiss on her lips.

It was a kiss meant to help ease her fear, reassuring yet intense enough to melt her with its sincerity. And Sue Ellen felt tears welling up in her eyes at how sweet it felt to be kissed like that by J.R. She had expected one of his hard, demanding kisses that would pull her into submission. But this kiss was yet another example of the new gentleness he had allowed himself to show her since the tornado, making her feel things about him again she thought dead and gone and new things she never wanted to let go.

Once again, J.R. Ewing was becoming the answer to every question her jumbled heart and mind came up with. Forcing her to admit what she had been both anticipating and dreading, despite how hard she fought against it, and just as unexpectedly as the tornado and all that had happened because of it. She broke the kiss and pulled back just enough to look up at him. When he lifted his head and his gaze caught hers, it happened.

"I love you," she breathlessly said.

The three words she had feared would be so hard to say had come out so easily, making her instantly both relieved and ecstatic it was done. Maybe it was because this time, she had said it to him without expectations, using it simply as a genuine expression of how she was truly feeling about him. About them. And that made all the difference in a way she could have never anticipated.

For J.R., hearing her suddenly say the words was the confirmation he had been craving. He had known she still loved him from the moment she came back to his bed that first night after her date with Lockwood. He had felt it every time they had been together since. She wasn't the type of woman to respond in bed like she had if she didn't care about him. But actually hearing her say those words now was the signal their reconciliation was finally official. It had really happened. He had won her back despite the odds against him.

Seeing J.R. speechless was rare and seeing him in such a state now was especially surprising. It wasn't the reaction Sue Ellen had expected. Her brows knitted together with concern as she closely studied him.

"J.R.?" She hesitantly said.

He responded with a slow, smoldering grin as he gathered her into his arms, pulling her into a fiercely possessive hug that was meant to convey all he was feeling. And she in return held on to him as if she wanted the same from him. So much like that day at the edge of the storm cellar.

"I wanna grow old with you," he whispered against her smooth, dark hair. Then he smiled again and corrected himself. "Well … older."

Sue Ellen softly laughed then pulled back to look at him once more. "I want that, too. I always have. You'll never know how much."

"Sue Ellen, I don't think I would've ever gotten here … to this point of knowin' how to really love somebody if you hadn't stuck with me," he sighed as rested his forehead against hers in the comforting way that had become so familiar to him as he recovered from the tornado. "You showed me how … year after year … each time we came back together … each time better than the last. And it feels like I've finally got it right this time, darlin'."

"Yes, you do," she replied in agreement, moved by his uncharacteristic attempt to explain his feelings.

She reached up to angle his had back to where she could kiss him again but just before their lips met she quickly disengaged and pulled back as the telling shuffle of John Ross's footsteps sounded out on the stairs, signaling he was coming down to rejoin them. J.R. softly cursed under his breath at her withdrawal even as he smiled, attempting to good-humoredly push off the momentary frustration of not getting what he wanted.

"Family life … remember?" Sue Ellen softly said, also smiling as she acknowledged his restraint.

"Family life," J.R. echoed then winked at her. "There's still nothin' I want more … even if it means waitin' on you to finish that kiss."

"Then come on," she replied as she reached down to take his hand. "Let's go have dinner with our son. We can finish that kiss later."

"I'll be holdin' you to that."

As they started to move towards the dinning room, J.R. shifted to wrap his arm around Sue Ellen's back, pulling her close as he rested his hand on her shoulder. And she reached up to place her hand over his, intertwining their fingers.

"I sure do like us bein' a family again," J.R. contentedly said when they met John Ross at the bottom of the stairs.

"Me too, Dad," John Ross gladly agreed and cautiously looked over at his mother.

Sue Ellen nodded and smiled at him. "Me, too."


End file.
